Yes, fertility anxiety is a real thing. Here’s how to deal with it
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
If you're trying to conceive, you may know a thing or two about fertility anxiety. Explore the connection between anxiety and fertility, plus 7 mindful tips to help you deal.
When you decide you’re ready to have a baby, it’s easy to assume that getting pregnant will be a simple process. But for many people, that’s just not the way things go.
Maybe you’ve just started trying to conceive, and it’s not happening as quickly as you’d like — or perhaps several months or years have gone by and you’ve faced some ups and downs with your journey, like anticipating a positive pregnancy test, only for it not to arrive. The truth is, fertility anxiety can begin at any stage of the journey — and it’s never easy to cope with. If you’re having a tough time with the process of expanding your family, you’re not alone.
Let’s explore fertility and the anxiety that comes with it, from nervousness about expanding your family to the anxious feelings of being unsure if it’ll happen for you.
What is fertility anxiety?
Fertility anxiety is the stress and worry that people may feel when they’re struggling to conceive. This anxiety can be a response to many things, such as the uncertainty of if they’ll conceive, the pressure of timing intimacy to coincide with ovulation, potential treatment schedules (such as IVF), and fears about pregnancy success rates, or health risks that may come with being pregnant.
Maybe you’ve become obsessed with taking ovulation and pregnancy tests, or you symptom-spot every month for clues that you might be pregnant. Or maybe making future plans has become overwhelming, as you’re predicting possible due dates that may conflict.
Making matters even more difficult, fertility anxiety can become more intense the longer it takes to conceive, or if things go wrong, like having a miscarriage.
These worries and feelings are normal, but they can become overwhelming and intense, and interfere with your emotional and physical wellbeing.
What are the signs of fertility anxiety?
Constant worry about the what ifs, such as uncertainty about success rates or health risks, and fears like never being able to conceive
Stress around treatments like medical tests, hormone treatments, the pressure of timed intercourse, and doctor’s appointments that bring new information or decisions
Overthinking symptoms and signs of ovulation or potential pregnancy
Mood swings and emotional exhaustion like irritability, sadness, and even depression
Avoiding social situations that revolve around pregnancy or children, like baby showers or children’s birthday parties
Does anxiety cause infertility?
Infertility is certainly anxiety-inducing, but many people wonder if anxiety can actually cause infertility? To put it simply, no, anxiety cannot cause infertility. But studies on the relationship between stress and fertility show mixed results.
While stress alone doesn’t directly cause infertility, high levels of stress hormones like cortisol can influence some of the body’s natural processes, including hormone levels and ovulation cycles. Some researchers suggest that stress might make the process of getting pregnant take longer, but it’s not the direct cause of infertility.
Anxiety can also lead to changes in your life that may affect fertility and reproductive health, like difficulty sleeping, different eating habits, or using caffeine or alcohol as coping mechanisms. That said, not every person who’s anxious or stressed will have trouble conceiving.
7 mindful tips for battling anxiety about fertility
Fertility anxiety can be overwhelming and deeply upsetting, but creating small self-care habits can help ease your journey and your stress symptoms. Here are some practical tips to help you balance your emotions and prioritize your mental wellbeing during your fertility journey.
1. Set boundaries with social media, friends, and family
Seeing posts about pregnancy or new babies can be especially hard if you’re dealing with fertility anxiety. It’s okay to set limits on what you see and discuss.
Curate your social media feed by muting or unfollowing accounts that trigger difficult feelings, and be honest with friends and family about topics you’re not ready to discuss with them. A simple, “I’ll let you know when there’s news to share, but I’m not ready to talk about it right now” can help them understand your needs and boundaries.
💙 Follow along with Tamara Levitt as she guides you through a meditation on setting Boundaries in her Relationships with Others Series.
2. Build a strong support system
You don’t have to face fertility challenges alone. Find people who understand what you’re going through. Maybe you find community in a support group (in person or online) with people who you feel comfortable talking to.
If a support group isn’t for you, even having one trusted friend, therapist, or family member you can confide in can make a big difference.
3. Practice mindfulness and meditation to stay grounded
When fertility anxiety makes your thoughts race, use mindfulness exercises like deep breathing, guided meditation, or simply paying attention to your five senses to bring you back to the present moment. Here are 10 mindfulness exercises we love.
You can start with just five to 10 minutes a day to help you feel a bit more grounded, even when you feel like nothing can help.
💙 Try this 10-minute Body Scan meditation to help you slow down and feel more present when anxiety is getting the best of you.
4. Allow yourself breaks from trying to conceive
The constant focus on conception can be draining. Remember that it’s okay to give yourself a break when you need one.
Instead of living life glued to your cycle tracker app, feel empowered to skip a month or two of tracking ovulation and focus on reconnecting with your partner, exploring a new hobby, or spending time doing things you enjoy. Remember that there’s so much to be grateful for in your life — and protecting and preserving your mental health is important.
5. Develop a daily routine that supports overall wellness
Build relaxation into your routine to help you feel more balanced and resilient through the highs and lows of trying for a baby — here are 12 ideas to try.
If you can, start your day with something calming, like meditation, gentle stretching, or a few minutes of journaling. Take a daily walk or enjoy another kind of exercise to help ease anxiety and prioritize rest.
💙 Learn how to set New Routines (and keep them) as you aim to build new, daily habits that support your mind, body, and spirit with guidance from The Daily Jay.
6. Take treatments and appointments step by step
If fertility treatments are part of your journey, it’s natural to feel anxious about all the steps of the process and making decision after decision.
Instead of looking at the entire process as a whole, try to focus on one step at a time to make things feel more manageable. Write down questions you have for each appointment to help you feel more in control and to help keep tabs on what comes next. You might consider keeping a journal during this time to track how you’re feeling emotionally. If you’re new to journaling, these seven tips can help you get started.
7. Seek professional support if anxiety feels overwhelming
If fertility anxiety is affecting your daily life, your relationships, or your sense of wellbeing, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. There are therapists out there who specialize in fertility or reproductive issues, and they can offer guidance, coping tools, and most importantly, a safe place to express yourself.
Couples therapy can also help you and your partner process the journey together. Even if you feel that you’re navigating this journey well together, it may still be helpful to seek additional support.
Fertility anxiety FAQs
How can stress affect ovulation and fertility?
When you’re stressed, your body produces higher levels of cortisol — a hormone that can interfere with other hormones needed for ovulation, such as luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). If you’re experiencing chronic stress, you might notice your menstrual cycle becomes irregular, or that ovulation’s harder to predict. While these effects are generally temporary, they can make conception feel even tougher.
To help relieve the effects of stress, try exercising and doing deep breathing and mindfulness exercises — you can start with these seven practices. They may not be a cure-all, but they are proven to reduce stress hormone levels and support a more balanced hormone cycle.
What are the signs of fertility anxiety?
Fertility anxiety can show up in many different ways, depending on how stress affects you personally. Look out for these common signs:
Constant worrying about whether you’ll be able to conceive
Mood swings and irritability, perhaps in response to your monthly cycles, test results, or others’ pregnancy news
Difficulty sleeping, or disrupted sleep, because of anxious thoughts
Avoiding social situations that remind you of pregnancy or parenthood, like baby showers
Obsessive tracking of ovulation, basal body temperature, or other pregnancy-related symptoms
Sadness or frustration when others announce their pregnancies or share their parenting experiences
Can meditation improve fertility outcomes?
Regular meditation can help reduce levels of stress hormones, which can help your body stay balanced and more resilient to the ups and downs of trying to conceive.
Start guided sessions for as little as five minutes a day, and make it part of your routine to step back, breathe, and regroup.
How do I stop worrying about fertility while trying to get pregnant?
Stopping the worry entirely might be unrealistic, but you can make it feel more bearable.
Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel anxious — trying to conceive can be an emotional journey.
Set small, achievable goals for self-care each day, like taking a short walk, listening to calming music, or spending a few minutes practicing gratitude.
Focus on one step of the journey at a time, rather than the entire process, so you can stay present instead of worrying about the future.
Remember that breaks are okay. Take time off from tracking, testing, or focusing on fertility to bring a little bit of peace back into your life. Try these 12 practices for cultivating inner peace.
What are some natural ways to reduce stress while trying to conceive?
There are a lot of natural methods to help ease stress and support a healthy mind and body during the fertility journey.
Gentle exercises: Yoga, walking, or stretching can naturally boost your mood and help reduce anxiety.
Breathing exercises: Deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation can calm the nervous system, so you can let go of anxious thoughts.
Sleep routines: Stick to a consistent bedtime and create a relaxing bedtime routine to keep stress at bay.
Healthy eating: Enjoy balanced, nutrient-rich meals to help stabilize your energy levels, support your immune system, and keep your mood steady.
Doing things you love: Bring more joy into your days with reading, cooking, painting, or gardening to reduce stress and up the feel-good vibes.
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