How to cope with holiday stress
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Holiday stress is real, but there are ways to manage it. Learn how to survive the holidays with your mental health intact using our 8 stress-busting tips.
There’s no two ways about it — the holidays can be incredibly stressful. Between social engagements, family time, decorating, buying gifts, and the expectation to do it all with a smile on your face, it’s a lot. It’s no wonder why 88% of Americans consider the holidays to be the most stressful time of year.
Not only are the holidays jam-packed with stress, but many people find this time of year to be a tough time emotionally. If you’re feeling lonely, grieving a loss, missing family members who have passed, etc… you might find the holidays to be an isolating, or melancholy time. And if that sounds like you, trust us, you’re not alone.
The good news is that there are ways to cope with these difficult feelings. Keep reading for some of our favorite tips to help you get through the holiday season with a bit more ease.
What causes holiday stress
While we can all agree that the holidays are stressful, the truth is that the reasons why vary from person to person. For some people it might be grieving the loss of a loved one, for another it might be dealing with complicated family dynamics. Here are some of the more common reasons why holiday stress is so pervasive.
Past trauma
Sometimes the holidays can feel intense because of past holiday trauma or discomfort. If you had a difficult holiday season where someone passed away, or if family holidays were particularly laden with family drama, there can be anticipatory anxiety surrounding this supposed most wonderful time of the year.
Loneliness
Family dynamics can certainly be challenging, but so can spending the holidays alone. If you’re overseas, away from family, or if your work doesn’t allow you to travel to see people, the holidays can be even more isolating. Here are some additional stressors that can crop up during the holidays:
Financial strain
If you’re part of a family that expects gifts during the holidays, then the financial strain of buying multiple presents in one month can be very difficult.
Over-indulging
Any time we’re over-indulging with unhealthy foods or even too much alcohol the body and brain take a hit. Begin consistently hungover, or not getting the proper nutrients can make you feel, lethargic and low energy. Also for some people hangovers result in feeling anxious. Try these 5 tips to deal with hanxiety next time it hits.
Social anxieties
For anyone who deals with social anxiety, attending multiple holiday dinners and parties can be triggering and uncomfortable. And let’s face it, these feelings are even more intense if you’re feeling obligated to be somewhere. Think schmoozing your boss at the office holiday party.
Lack of sleep
And of course, the biggie — not enough sleep! Holiday parties and dinners are notorious for keeping you out late and up way past your bedtime. Add it all together and you might find yourself feeling completely wiped out. And at that point, who has time to smile delightedly as Aunt Kathy tells the latest story about her rhododendron bushes.
8 tips for reducing holiday stress
So you don’t find yourself in bed for a week in the new year, coping with holiday stress might be best summed up with the saying, “The best defense is a good offense.”
Try easing into the holiday season prepared and ready for anything with these mindful tips.
1. Make self-care a non-negotiable
Any time you’re going to experience extreme stress, it’s important to prioritize self-care. This means allowing yourself to take breaks when you need them, asking for help and delegating tasks, and above all else, not expecting yourself to do more than you’re able to do.
💙 If you’re feeling overwhelmed try taking a break with a short meditation like Breathe into Relaxation with Jay Shetty.
2. Plan ahead
If you have keen foresight from the holidays of the past, and alarm bells are already going off in your mind, get ahead of it. It’s okay to call grandma and gently remind her that while you know she cares about you, you’d prefer not to discuss your personal life at the next gathering. Or let Uncle Jim know that you’re not interested in re-hashing current events over coffee and dessert. You have every right to ask for what you need and as long as you’re finding kind and thoughtful ways to communicate these things, you’ll be far ahead of the curve.
3. Prioritize sleep (maybe skip a party or two!)
Holiday stress can take its toll on the body, so if you know you’ll be facing some mental and physical fatigue, stock up on sleep beforehand, and make sure you prioritize it during the holiday season. If you find yourself feeling totally exhausted, it’s okay to say no to a party or two.
It’s also always okay to cancel something last minute if your mental health is taking a toll. (Read that again.)
💙 When your mind is full with a running list of to-dos, it can be hard to unwind. When you’re ready to calm your busy brain, try our When It’s Hard to Fall Asleep meditation.
4. Resist comparing your holiday to others
Your holiday is unique to you and your life. Even if you’re seeing a lot of picture-perfect holidays on someone’s social media feed, let go of the need to compare if you can. And even if you can’t, just remember that your experience is meant for you.
5. Establish good boundaries
One of the best ways to safeguard your mental health and wellbeing is to establish clear boundaries with those in your social circle and support system. While it can feel scary to set boundaries sometimes, do so with kindness and clarity. You might feel the desire to set boundaries but might not know exactly where to start and that’s where self-awareness and mental clarity come in.
💙 If establishing healthy boundaries is difficult for you, check out this session from our Relationship with Others series.
6. Try to focus on the positive (when appropriate)
It might sound a bit hokey, but there can be a lot of beautiful parts about the holiday season. When you feel those positive, warm moments, soak them up and enjoy them.
💙 Focusing on what you’re grateful for can help put a positive spin on things during challenging times. Check out our Gratitude masterclass to help support your gratitude practice.
7. Manage stress with mindfulness and relaxation techniques
One of the best ways to manage the stress that you know is coming is to have some mindfulness and relaxation exercises ready in your back pocket. These could be yoga practices you like, meditation sessions you enjoy, mindful movement, or even breathwork.
💙 Having some tools in your mental health “toolbelt” to manage stress and anxiety is key during the holidays. Check out our Overcome Stress & Anxiety series.
8. Seek support when needed
If the impending holiday season has your stress levels reaching an unmanageable level, it’s always wise to seek advice and consultation with your healthcare provider. In some cases, a therapist or counselor can help you to manage your feelings so that you can approach the holidays with a sense of calm.
Surviving the holidays FAQs
How do you survive the holidays?
Getting through the holidays requires a mixture of setting boundaries and making self-care a priority. Managing stress, taking breaks, asking for help when needed and removing pressure from yourself by setting realistic expectations.
Why is the holiday season so hard?
For many, the holiday season is difficult because there can be pressure or tension from family dynamics and even just extended time spent with family. For others, isolation and loneliness can be a factor, particularly if someone who was important to you is no longer in your life. These difficulties can be handled by implementing good self-care practices and taking time to rest and take breaks during the season.
How do you deal with grief over the holidays?
Everyone’s experience with grief is unique. Depending on who you’re grieving there are different tactics you may try. If someone in your life has passed away, it can feel meaningful to pay tribute to them in some way during your holiday time. This might mean giving a toast to them at a dinner, playing their favorite song, or keeping a tradition they loved. If someone has left your life more recently, you might need practices that offer more immediate relief like breathwork, or meditation. If you’re having a tough time managing grief, a mental health professional can be helpful.
How do you take care of yourself during the holiday season?
The holidays can be very stressful so prioritizing sleep is hugely important. When you’re stressed it can impact your immune system. Sleep and rest, as well as hydration and nutrition, can play a vital role in keeping you healthy and well.
What can I do if I feel overwhelmed during the holidays?
Take breaks! The best thing for your mental health and overall wellbeing is to take breaks when you feel overwhelmed. Breaks can look any way you want them to. You can take time to implement a mindfulness practice, sit and journal, take a nap, or even just sit quietly and listen to your favorite music. There is no wrong way to take a break!
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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