How to break a habit? Try these 8 habit-changing steps
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
If you've got yourself into a bad habit, try these 8 steps to break the habit cycle. Plus, learn how habits are formed and how long it takes to break a habit.
Breaking a habit can feel intimidating. Whether it's biting your nails or spending too much time on social media, we all have bad habits we’d like to change. Understanding how habits are formed and having a structured approach to breaking them can significantly ease the process.
There are habits, however, that can be harmful. If you have deeply ingrained or harmful habits, you should consider seeking professional help from therapists, counselors, or other mental health professionals. They can provide you with strategies, support, and tools to make your habit-changing journey less daunting and more manageable.
How are habits formed?
Habits play a significant role in our daily lives. They shape our actions, and, eventually, our outcomes. But how are new habits formed in the first place?
It all comes down to three simple things: cue, routine, and reward. This concept, outlined by Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit, lays the foundation of habit formation. Whenever a cue, or a feeling, is ignited, it leads to a routine, or a habitual action taken to self-soothe, which, in turn, leads to a reward, or the sensation of feeling “better.” This pattern of cue, routine, and reward reinforces the habit, which becomes automatic over time.
For clarity, here’s an example of cue, routine, and reward: When I feel stressed (cue), I scroll through social media (routine), and then I feel more relaxed (reward).
How long does it take to break a habit?
You might have heard people saying that it only takes 21 days to break a bad habit. Unfortunately, this isn’t true for everyone.The time it takes to break a habit varies widely, depending on the complexity of the habit and the person’s commitment to change.
Complexity of the habit: Some habits are tougher to break than others. For example, a habit of checking your phone now and then might be easier to break compared to quitting smoking. The more complex or ingrained a habit is, the more time and effort it may require to break.
Individual differences: Everyone is wired differently. What might feel like a stroll in the park for some feels like a marathon for others. Your personal commitment, environment, and even your genetics can play a part in how quickly you can identify and break a habit.
While there isn’t a fixed timeline, research suggests that, on average, it might actually take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to break a habit. But don’t let these timeframes scare you. Breaking a habit is a personal journey and requires patience, understanding, and self-compassion. So, while it may take some time, with the right approach, breaking a habit is well within your reach. It’s all about taking one step at a time and celebrating small wins along the way.
💙 Breaking habits can be difficult. Learn tools and strategies with our Breaking Habits series.
How to break a habit in 8 steps
Knowing what triggers the habit you want to break, what routine follows, and what reward your brain is seeking can provide you with a roadmap to changing unhelpful habits. Here are eight actionable steps to help you understand the habit loop and build a healthier, happier life.
1. Set clear goals
What does success look like to you? Define it. Use mindfulness techniques to help set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART)Once you set SMART goals, this knowledge can be used to replace unhelpful habits with more positive habits that can help you achieve your goals.
💙 Eager to align your goals with your values? Check out The ‘Why’ Behind Your Goals with Jay Shetty.
2. Identify what triggers your habit
Spot the cues that kickstart your habit. These triggers might include frustration, emotional stress, suppressing your feelings, or work anxiety. Knowing which triggers set off the habitual routine is the first step to changing it or structuring your daily routine to avoid your triggers as best as you can.
💙 Sometimes it’s impossible to avoid the things that trigger you. When life’s got you feeling tense or stressed, Reset With the Breath.
3. Engage in mindfulness activities
Practice mindfulness to tune into your triggers as they arise. Mindfulness helps in creating a pause to notice how you’re feeling before falling into the habitual routine for temporary relief.
💙 Learn more about practicing mindfulness with Mindfulness Tools with the U.S. Surgeon General.
4. Have a replacement habit strategy
Practice replacing the undesired habit with a positive action that provides a similar reward. Mindful routines can have a big impact in rerouting your self-soothing practices, which may help break the habit once and for all.
💙 Replacing an unhealthy habit with a healthy habit that you enjoy can help continue to motivate you. Try going for a walk instead of engaging in the habit you’re trying to break. Bonus points if you pair walking with mindfulness. Our Mindful Walking session has got you covered.
5. Reduce your habit gradually over time
You may feel inclined to quit the habit entirely, but a gradual reduction of the habit is more likely to help you break the habit entirely in the long-term. Take baby steps when it comes to breaking a habit. Not only does it make the habit-breaking process more manageable, but it allows you to experience reward along the way as you accomplish smaller milestones.
6. Seek social support
Share your goals with those that you care about, as they are a vital element in your success breathing a habit. Supportive friends and family can provide the extra encouragement needed on tough days.
7. Practice meditation
Meditation gives your body and mind an opportunity to slow down, embrace the present moment, and open the door for clarity and perspective. It’s a wonderful tool to enhance self-awareness and self-control.
💙 It’s not always as easy as sitting down and closing your eyes. Press play on Mindfulness For Beginners to get some tips.
8. Create a reward system to boost your chances of breaking your habit
Reward yourself with healthier alternatives when you make progress on your habit-breaking journey and apply what you’ve learned about replacing old patterns with positive reinforcement.
💙 One way to reinforce good habits is to reward yourself at the end of your day. Try cultivating a relaxing wind down routine in the evenings to reward yourself for sticking to your goals. This might include a relaxing bath, your favorite book, or listening to a fun and relaxing Sleep Story.
How to break a habit FAQs
How long does it take to break a habit?
The timeline to break a habit can vary greatly from person to person and is dependent upon the complexity of the habit, your personal commitment to changing it, and your environment. Prioritizing consistency over a quick fix is the key to overcoming habits, as is taking your time.On average, research suggests it might take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, contrary to the popular belief that you can break a habit in 21 days. It's essential to understand that changing a habit is a journey and is different for everyone.
Is it true it takes 21 days to break a habit?
The saying that it takes 21 days to break a habit has been around for a long time. However, it's more of a myth than a fact. The reality is the time it takes to break a habit can vary widely depending on various factors like the complexity of the habit and individual differences. So, while 21 days might work for some, others might need more time to see a change. It's all about finding what works for you and sticking to it.
What are the seven steps to breaking a habit?
The seven step approach to breaking a habit is another popular method that’s been around for awhile, but we recommend the eight step approach. These steps include: identifying triggers, setting clear goals, engaging in mindfulness activities, having a replacement strategy, applying gradual reduction, seeking social support, practicing meditation, and creating a reward system.
What is the three day rule to break a habit?
The three day rule is often mentioned in the context of starting with small milestones. However, breaking a habit usually requires a more extended, consistent effort that exceeds three days. The three day rule might be a good starting point to kickstart your habit-changing journey, but it's important to remember that breaking a habit will likely take more time and effort. The key is to stay committed, take one day at a time, and celebrate the small wins.
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