Why we need to talk about men's mental health (plus, how to do it)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
It's time to break the stigma. Explore the unique challenges men face with their mental health, and how to have more open conversations with the men in your life.
Despite mental health being a more widely accepted topic of conversation these days, there’s still some stigma surrounding it — particularly for men. A lot of men have grown up with unhelpful messages like, “You’re a big boy! Don’t cry!” or, “Be strong.” Maybe it’s something your parents told you, or you may have even heard it out and about in the world.
Mental health struggles are something most people deal with at some point in their lives, whether they be sudden and unexpected, or ongoing and chronic. But, for many men, the culture you live in can mean that opening up about how you’re feeling feels impossible.
Not only that but worries like your work environment (filled with high expectations and critical responsibilities,) your health, or navigating the pressure of being the “strong” protector of your family can all plague your mind. This perfect storm of circumstances plus fewer outlets to express emotion may put you under strain, and, like many men, you might carry these burdens quietly and on your own.
The good news is that things in the mental health space are starting to change for the better. More people are recognizing the importance of men’s mental health, and conversations about it are becoming more open and supportive. By talking about these issues, we can help break down barriers and show that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Why talking about men’s mental health matters
Mental health is something that affects all of us, but men often experience and express it in different ways than women. The common misconception that men need to always be tough and handle problems on their own may make mental health struggles harder for men. While you might be used to being resilient, this mindset can sometimes make it harder to recognize when you need help or even know how to ask for it.
How mental health symptoms show up differently in men and women
Women are more likely to express mental health struggles through showing signs of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness. Men may also show some signs of irritability, anger, or physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue.
Some men may even engage in risk-taking behaviors like having a night out with the guys that gets out of hand, over-eating, binge-drinking, over-exercising, or even getting too competitive with sports. Other men might isolate themselves, using long hours at work or hobbies to avoid dealing with emotions.
Because men’s symptoms may not always align with traditional ideas of mental illness, these struggles can go unnoticed by doctors, close family, friends, and even by you! This might delay the treatment that’ll help you get back to being the real you.
Men and women have different coping mechanisms
Men are more likely to bottle things up or turn to solitary activities than women, who tend to seek support through talking with friends or getting professional help—like therapy—to manage emotional pain.
While distractions like exercise or zoning out while playing video games can help many men, if that’s the only way you’re coping, it may prevent you from addressing deeper issues, which can fester and become worse over time.
Some men might turn to alcohol or drugs as an option to help them self-soothe, but this can worsen mental health issues and potentially lead to addiction. If this is one of your ways of dealing with the struggle, know that you’re not alone, and help is available.
Why the differences between men and women’s mental health matter
Sadly, there are lots of harmful stereotypes around men’s mental health. Men who are struggling and who end up showing anger, withdrawal, or avoidance can often get labelled as disinterested or “bad,” when actually these can be signs of serious underlying issues like depression.
While it’s been a slow progression, society is coming to understand just how many men might be suffering. Luckily, mental health support can now be tailored to suit your needs, like online therapy. You can take an approach that works for you, whether those be action-based strategies or problem-solving approaches.
Everyone benefits from empathy, awareness, and stronger support systems, including men. No matter how tough you might want to appear.
What are the biggest mental health issues for men?
Mental health challenges can affect anyone, but certain issues tend to impact men at higher rates or show up in ways that make them harder to identify. Looking out for these signs means we as a society are more likely to be able to help, empowering all men to get the support needed to thrive.
Here are some of the key issues facing men today.
Depression
While many associate depression with sadness or tears, men are more likely to show other signs. If you’re experiencing less typical symptoms, it’s easy for undiagnosed depression to go unnoticed by you or others around you. Look out for the following signs that may point to depression:
Irritability or anger: Lashing out, becoming easily frustrated, or appearing hostile
Physical complaints: Headaches, back pain, and digestive problems
Loss of interest in hobbies: A sudden disinterest in activities you once enjoyed
Risk-taking behavior: Taking unnecessary risks, or pursuing dangerous activities as a way of coping
Anxiety
Feelings of nervousness or worry are normal from time to time but when they persist and affect daily life it could be anxiety. Because anxiety can show up as physical symptoms like muscle tension, chest pain, or fatigue, you might not realize you’re dealing with a mental health issue. Men with anxiety may experience:
Restlessness or trouble relaxing: Even in calm environments, you might feel on edge.
Sleep issues: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
Racing thoughts: Finding it hard to switch off your brain, even when you want to unwind.
Substance abuse
Men are more likely than women to turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or depression. The substances can temporarily numb emotional pain, but the turmoil returns as the effects fade. This cycle causes some men to continue to use drugs or alcohol. Over time this can lead to more problems in other areas of life, like your performance at work, your relationships, and contribute to further health and sleep issues.
It can also be hard to acknowledge when drinking or drug use has become problematic, often because of societal norms that downplay the seriousness of substance use in men. This can make the problem even more difficult to notice.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Men who experience trauma through life events like accidents, violence, or loss can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It’s common in combat veterans, but it can happen to men for many other reasons, too. Symptoms can include:
Flashbacks or nightmares: Reliving the trauma repeatedly
Emotional numbness: Feeling disconnected from life or people
Hypervigilance: Constantly feeling on guard, even in safe environments
Social isolation and loneliness
Many men find it difficult to maintain close friendships or open up emotionally. If you’re struggling with loneliness, you might look around at the other men in your life and feel that everyone else is coping just fine, which can make you even less likely to reach out for help. If this cycle continues, the lack of social connection may contribute to depression and anxiety.
Suicide
Statistics show that men die by suicide at significantly higher rates than women. While women may be more likely to attempt suicide, men are potentially more likely to succeed because they often choose more lethal methods.
Many men who die by suicide may not have been diagnosed with a mental health condition. Addressing mental health struggles before they escalate is crucial if you or someone you know seems to be struggling with early warning signs. Look out for men who:
Say they feel hopeless, or like they’re a burden to others
Withdraw from social connections and responsibilities
Have a sudden shift in mood, from extreme sadness to calm, which may signal someone has made a decision to end their life
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or experiencing suicidal thoughts, help is available:
In the US, those experiencing suicidal thoughts can call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It's available 24 hours every day and is free and private. They also have a Lifeline Chat.
Contact emergency services if you’re concerned that someone has, or will, harm themselves.
In the UK, Samaritans offer 24/7 confidential support for anyone in distress. Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
10 tips for men trying to support their mental health
Mental health is like physical health in that the more you take care of it, the better you’ll feel. And taking care of your mental health doesn’t have to be overwhelming or complicated. Improvements might not happen overnight, but a few small, consistent habits can make a big difference in the way you feel each day. If you’re reading this and thinking about making a change, know that you’re not alone. And you deserve to feel your best.
Try these practical tips that can help support your mental wellbeing.
1. Talk to someone you trust about how you feel
Opening up about your thoughts and feelings can feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s one of the best ways to take care of your mental health. You don’t need to have all the answers or share everything right away. Sometimes just saying, “I’ve been feeling off lately,” can start the conversation.
First step: Reach out to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or coworker. If talking face-to-face feels too difficult, try texting or writing down your thoughts first.
If you are reaching out to other guys in your life for support and they seem unsure how to help you (or if they shrug off your attempt to connect,) it can help to be direct. Try something like, “I want to talk to you about what’s been going on for me and have you just listen for a bit. Is that cool?” Sometimes men are equally unsure how to express feelings and how to receive other men’s feelings. By showing them the ropes you’re modeling healthy emotional behavior too!
2. Get your body moving regularly to boost mental wellness
Exercise isn’t just good for your physical health, it can work wonders for your mental health too. You don’t have to hit the gym every day to achieve the benefits either. Simple activities like walking, biking, swimming, or even rocking out to your favorite music can boost your mood.
First step: Aim for 30 minutes of movement most days, but don’t stress if you can’t always fit it in. Just do what you can. These seven simple movement exercises are a good place to start.
3. Prioritize your sleep to help balance emotions
Sleep and mental health are more closely connected than you might realize. When you’re not getting enough rest, everything feels harder, your mood can dip, and small problems feel much bigger than they may be. Prioritizing good sleep habits can help you manage stress and feel more balanced. Try these 10 tips for better sleep if you’re having trouble catching those Zzzs these days.
First step: Try to stick to a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends. Avoid screens before bed and add calming activities to your bedtime routine, like reading or listening to relaxing music.
💙 Drift into sleep more easily with this guided sleep meditation, Soften Into Sleep, with Chibs Okereke
4. Set small, achievable goals each day
When life feels overwhelming, even small tasks can seem impossible. One way to manage this is by setting small, realistic goals for yourself. Even the biggest projects can be broken into manageable chunks that you can tick off one by one, while finding relief from overwhelm at the same time.
First step: Start with simple things like making your bed, taking a short walk, or completing one work task. Give yourself a pat on the back for these wins, no matter how small they might seem.
5. Cut back on alcohol and substance use
It’s easy to turn to alcohol or other substances when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, depressed, or sad. But while it might seem like a quick fix to have a beer or two after a tough day or party hard every weekend to get relief from the week, relying on these habits can actually worsen mental health over time. Cutting back or finding healthier ways to unwind (try these 13 ideas) can help you feel better long-term, both physically and mentally.
First step: Try replacing drinking with activities like exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive people. If cutting back feels difficult, reach out for professional support from your doctor or a local support group.
6. Try practicing mindfulness or meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are simple practices that can help you stay grounded. Taking even five minutes a day to sit quietly, focus on your breathing, or pay attention to the present moment can help you reduce your stress and help you think more clearly. You don’t have to sit cross-legged or chant (although, if this is your style, more power to you). Mindfulness can happen wherever you are, and whatever you’re doing.
First step: Keep it simple by paying attention to how your feet feel on the ground or noticing your surroundings during a walk.
💙 Check out this 10-minute Body Scan meditation, led by Tamara Levitt, to help you slow down and feel more present wherever you are.
7. Reconnect with yourself through your interests
Sometimes life gets so busy that the things you once loved doing take a backseat. Reconnecting with hobbies—maybe sports, music, gaming, or gardening—can bring back some joy and help reduce stress.
First step: Put time in your calendar for activities that make you feel good, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day.
8. Spend time with people who lift you up
Surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people can have a huge impact on your mental health. It doesn’t have to be a large social circle who you see in person all the time — even having one or two people you trust at the end of the phone can make all the difference.
First step: Stay connected and look for meaningful friendships, even if it’s through phone calls or messages. Make time to check in with a friend, or join a group of like-minded people.
9. Give yourself permission to rest
When everyone around you seems busy, it can feel strange to slow down and rest. But taking breaks and allowing yourself downtime can be a big support to your mental health.
First step: Give yourself permission to relax without guilt. This might mean watching your favorite show, taking a nap, or simply doing nothing for a while.
10. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help
Mental health professionals are trained to help you work through challenges, no matter how big or small. Therapy isn’t just for crises — it can help you navigate life more smoothly and build healthier habits. There’s no shame in reaching out to a therapist or counselor, and you might be surprised about how many people you know get help with their mental health.
First step: Start by asking your doctor for recommendations or exploring online options. Many therapists offer virtual sessions, making it easier to get support from the comfort of your home.
How to talk to the men in your life about mental health
Many men grow up with the belief that they need to handle problems on their own, which can make it harder for them to express vulnerability.
If you are supporting a man in your life who’s having a hard time, your willingness to show up and listen can make a real difference, and even if they don’t open up right away, knowing someone cares enough to check in can plant the seed for future conversations. You don’t need to have all the answers, and you don’t need to be pushy or prying. Just being present, kind, and supportive is enough to create positive change.
Here are some simple, practical ways to approach mental health talks with the men in your life:
Pick the right time and place for your conversation
Timing can make all the difference, so avoid starting the conversation when they’re stressed or in the middle of something important. Instead, choose a time when you both feel relaxed, and there are no immediate distractions. Sometimes, men find it easier to open up during activities rather than sitting face-to-face, so try talking during a car ride, a walk, or while watching TV together to make the conversation feel less intense.
Start by asking simple, direct questions
You don’t need to dive straight into deep emotions. Keep your tone light and start with gentle, open-ended questions like “How’ve you been feeling lately?” or, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little different. Is everything okay?” or, “I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything.” Aim to invite conversation, not force it. (These eight tips can help you start a chat.)
Listen without trying to fix things for them
One of the biggest mistakes people make when someone opens up is jumping straight to solutions. While offering advice comes from a good place, sometimes men just need to feel heard. Let them talk, and resist the urge to interrupt or correct them.
Use supportive phrases like “That sounds really tough,” “I hear you, and I’m glad you told me,” or “I’m here for you no matter what.” These show you’re actively listening and open to supporting them however you can.
💙 Practice Holding Space for the person you’re speaking with and giving them your full attention with guidance from our Relationship With Others series.
Normalize conversations about mental health
Sometimes, men may feel like they’re the only ones dealing with mental health issues. Remind them that mental health struggles are normal and that many people face similar challenges. Sharing your own experiences, if you feel comfortable, can make a big difference in not only making them feel less alone, but also helping to build trust between the two of you.
You might say, “I’ve had moments where I felt really overwhelmed too. It helped to talk to someone.” You could also remind them that there’s no shame in asking for help and that everyone needs support sometimes.
Offer them specific support
Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer tangible ways to help instead. Men might not always know what kind of support they need, so suggesting specific ideas can make it easier for them to accept help.
Invite them to grab lunch this weekend so you can catch up, offer to help them find a therapist if they ever want to try it, or suggest going for a walk to clear your heads. Check out these eight ways to support a friend with depression for even more ways to be there for your buddy when they need you most.
Be patient and consistent with your support
Sometimes, the first conversation might not lead to much. That’s okay. The important thing is to continue showing up. Check in regularly with your friend, even if it’s just to ask how their day is going. Over time, this can help you build up trust, and it brings more opportunities for them to open up.
Check out these seven tips on how to be an even better friend than you already are.
Respect their boundaries
Not everyone is ready to talk about their mental health right away. If they’re not open to discussing things, respect that. Let them know your door is always open when they feel ready. You might say something like, “Take your time. I’ll check in later just to see how things are going.” You can even suggest that they reach out to you whenever they’re ready to chat.
Encourage professional help without pressure
While friends and family are important, sometimes professional help is what’s needed. If you feel like the man in your life could benefit from therapy or counseling, suggest it gently, but avoid being forceful.
Try framing it by saying something like, “Therapy has helped a lot of people I know. Maybe it’s something you might think about?” or “Talking to a professional doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It just means you’re taking care of yourself.”
Men and mental health FAQs
How is dealing with mental health different for men?
Men often experience mental health struggles differently than women, so your symptoms might show up as irritability, fatigue, or physical issues like headaches (this meditation can help with headache discomfort), rather than sadness or anxiety. This can make it harder to recognize when you’re dealing with depression or anxiety.
Many men are also less likely to seek help due to stigma or fear of appearing weak, which can delay treatment and worsen conditions.
Breaking this cycle can be tough, but it starts with recognizing that mental health issues are normal and that asking for help is a strength. By normalizing conversations around mental health, we can create a culture where all men feel more able to seek support.
What are the signs of depression in men?
Depression in men often shows up as anger, irritability, or emotional numbness, rather than sadness. You might withdraw from hobbies, have trouble sleeping, or experience physical symptoms like muscle pain or digestive issues. Sometimes, risky behavior or increased alcohol use can also be signs of depression.
Because these symptoms are easy to overlook, it’s important to pay attention to changes in behavior and mood. Offering support and encouraging open conversations can help you get the help you need before things escalate.
How can I support a male friend or family member struggling with mental health issues?
Supporting a man with mental health challenges starts with being present and listening. Simple check-ins like, “How have you been doing?” can open the door without forcing the conversation. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares can make a big difference.
Encourage healthy activities, invite them to do things together, and gently suggest professional help if needed. Be patient and consistent, as mental health is a journey, and your ongoing support can help them feel less alone.
Are there specific mental health resources available for men?
Many resources cater specifically to men’s mental health. Websites like HeadsUpGuys offer tools and support for men dealing with depression, while some counselors specialize in helping men. There are also men’s support groups that create safe spaces for open discussions.
If you want to check-in on your overall mental health right now, Calm has a free screening tool which will offer some next steps based on your results.
Explore these resources to help you feel less isolated. Sometimes, finding the right fit—whether it’s a therapist, app, or support group—can be the first step toward healing.
How does societal pressure affect men’s mental health?
Societal pressure often teaches men to suppress emotions and handle problems alone, which can negatively affect your mental health. The expectation to be strong can lead to untreated depression, anxiety, or burnout. Over time, this can contribute to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use or isolation.
Challenging these norms by encouraging open conversations and emotional expression helps men feel more comfortable seeking help. When men know it’s okay to prioritize mental health, they’re more likely to reach out for support and take steps toward healing.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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