Yes, postpartum rage is real. Here’s how to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
You’re not imagining it — some of us feel especially angry after having a baby. Learn the causes and symptoms of postpartum rage and get 10 tips to feel better.
Let’s cut right to the chase. Postpartum rage is real — and it’s more common than most people realize. This wave of feelings after giving birth can also be confusing and, let’s be honest, a little embarrassing.
Maybe you feel an uncontrollable, white-hot fury when the baby won’t stop crying. Or perhaps your partner breathing too loudly sends you into a full-body rage. Maybe you go from zero to nuclear over something small like someone offering to give your baby a bottle, only to feel crushing guilt moments later.
After all, it’s expected for moms to be exhausted, anxious, and maybe a little weepy — but furious? That doesn’t fit the soft-focus, pastel-tinted version of new motherhood that society loves to push. So, when you find yourself slamming doors, snapping at your loved ones, or shaking with unexplainable rage, you may start to wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”
The answer is nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain and body are doing a lot right now, and sometimes that translates to overwhelming anger. The good news? There are reasons behind it, and with the right strategies, you can feel more like yourself again.
What is postpartum rage?
Postpartum rage is exactly what it sounds like: intense, often unpredictable anger that shows up after having a baby. But this isn’t your standard, run-of-the-mill frustration. It’s explosive, overwhelming fury — the kind that makes you want to scream into a pillow, throw something across the room, or snap at your partner over absolutely nothing (and then maybe feel horrible about it five minutes later).
It’s the type of anger that doesn’t just bubble up; it erupts and it also comes with physical symptoms, including:
A racing heart
Clenched jaw or fists
Tightness in your chest
Shaking hands
Feeling like your body is overheating from the inside out
Why haven’t I heard of postpartum rage before?
You might be thinking — if postpartum rage is so common, why haven’t I heard of it before? Well, in many places, postpartum mental health is still talked about in hushed tones, and rage is an especially taboo topic.
Postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA) get some attention, but postpartum rage often gets overlooked or mislabeled. Instead of recognizing it as a real symptom, moms are told they’re just “stressed,” “overwhelmed,” or “too emotional.” (Spoiler alert: That’s not helpful.)
But here’s what many people don’t realize… Postpartum rage is often a symptom of PPD, PPA, or postpartum OCD. It doesn’t always show up with sadness or worry — it can present as unrelenting irritability, sudden outbursts, or feeling on edge all the time.
If you’re feeling this way, you’re not just “bad at handling stress”, and you’re not a terrible mom. You’re a human being going through a massive hormonal, emotional, and physical shift. The anger isn’t your fault, but there are ways to manage it.
How common is postpartum rage?
While nobody’s handing out official stats on “how often new moms completely lose their cool,” experts agree that postpartum rage is way more common than people realize.
In fact, about one in seven new moms experience a postpartum mood disorder like depression or anxiety, and rage can be one of the less-talked-about (but completely real) symptoms.
The frustrating part is that because society still expects moms to be glowing, grateful, and soft, no one warns you that you might also feel blindingly furious over things that never used to bother you. And that silence? It leaves too many moms feeling ashamed, confused, and wondering if they’re just “bad at this.”
Let us reiterate: You’re not bad at this. What you’re feeling is valid. It’s real! And it deserves way more attention than it gets.
What is postpartum rage?
Postpartum rage is exactly what it sounds like: intense, often unpredictable anger that shows up after having a baby. But this isn’t your standard, run-of-the-mill frustration. It’s explosive, overwhelming fury — the kind that makes you want to scream into a pillow, throw something across the room, or snap at your partner over absolutely nothing (and then maybe feel horrible about it five minutes later).
It’s the type of anger that doesn’t just bubble up; it erupts and it also comes with physical symptoms, including:
A racing heart
Clenched jaw or fists
Tightness in your chest
Shaking hands
Feeling like your body is overheating from the inside out
Why haven’t I heard of postpartum rage before?
You might be thinking — if postpartum rage is so common, why haven’t I heard of it before? Well, in many places, postpartum mental health is still talked about in hushed tones, and rage is an especially taboo topic.
Postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA) get some attention, but postpartum rage often gets overlooked or mislabeled. Instead of recognizing it as a real symptom, moms are told they’re just “stressed,” “overwhelmed,” or “too emotional.” (Spoiler alert: That’s not helpful.)
But here’s what many people don’t realize… Postpartum rage is often a symptom of PPD, PPA, or postpartum OCD. It doesn’t always show up with sadness or worry — it can present as unrelenting irritability, sudden outbursts, or feeling on edge all the time.
If you’re feeling this way, you’re not just “bad at handling stress”, and you’re not a terrible mom. You’re a human being going through a massive hormonal, emotional, and physical shift. The anger isn’t your fault, but there are ways to manage it.
How common is postpartum rage?
While nobody’s handing out official stats on “how often new moms completely lose their cool,” experts agree that postpartum rage is way more common than people realize.
In fact, about one in seven new moms experience a postpartum mood disorder like depression or anxiety, and rage can be one of the less-talked-about (but completely real) symptoms.
The frustrating part is that because society still expects moms to be glowing, grateful, and soft, no one warns you that you might also feel blindingly furious over things that never used to bother you. And that silence? It leaves too many moms feeling ashamed, confused, and wondering if they’re just “bad at this.”
Let us reiterate: You’re not bad at this. What you’re feeling is valid. It’s real! And it deserves way more attention than it gets.
What are the causes of postpartum rage?
Postpartum rage isn’t about being “too emotional” or bad at handling stress. It’s your body and brain reacting to a massive life shift. Here’s what might be fueling it:
Hormonal whiplash: After birth, estrogen and progesterone plummet, while stress hormones spike. These sudden shifts can throw your mood into chaos — sometimes in the form of rage.
Separation anxiety: You may experience separation anxiety, which makes being away from your baby very difficult (even if you’re also desperate for a break). Suggestions that you should take time to yourself—even if they’re well-intentioned—can trigger an angry reaction.
Sleep deprivation: When you’re running on empty, even small annoyances feel unbearable. Lack of sleep makes it tough to regulate emotions, making it more likely that you’ll explode over things like misplaced burp cloths.
The mental load: Keeping track of baby schedules, household chores, and everyone else’s needs is exhausting. When the weight of it all feels invisible, frustration builds — and rage can be the release.
Stress overload: Your nervous system is on high alert, balancing physical healing, new responsibilities, and a huge identity shift. With no outlet for that stress, it can come out as sudden, uncontrollable anger.
Past trauma resurfacing: Motherhood can trigger unresolved trauma, whether from childhood, past abuse, or a difficult birth. Rage can be your body’s way of saying, “Hey, we need to deal with this.”
Nutrient depletion: Growing and feeding a baby drains your body of essential nutrients like iron, B vitamins, and omega-3s. Without them, mood swings—including rage—can hit harder.
Lack of support: Feeling like you’re doing it all alone (even if you technically aren’t) can lead to deep resentment. Rage often stems from feeling unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed.
How to treat postpartum rage: 10 tips to help you cope
As much as you might like to think you can handle it, postpartum rage isn’t just a phase or something you have to white-knuckle your way through. It’s a sign that your body and mind need support. Thankfully, there are real, actionable ways to start feeling better.
No, a solo vacation probably isn’t going to happen any time soon, and being told to breathe through it might be the most rage-inducing thing of all. But you can make small shifts to help you regain control — without adding more to your already-heavy mental load.
1. Check your sleep (yes, really)
It sounds obvious, but exhaustion is a massive trigger for rage. When you’re running on fumes, your brain’s ability to regulate emotions goes straight out the window.
Of course, sleeping isn’t always an option when you have a newborn baby. But even small sleep improvements—like napping when you can, splitting night shifts with your partner, or at the very least skipping the doomscrolling when you finally get a break—can help. Here are seven sleep tips to get you started.
2. Move your body (even just a little)
Obviously, nobody is running a marathon right after giving birth — and you shouldn’t do any type of strenuous physical activity without your doctor’s sign-off. Still, physical movement can help release pent-up stress and tension, and when your body is in full fight-or-flight mode, moving even a little can help shake some of that anger loose.
You might consider trying:
A quick walk outside (either with your baby or solo)
Stretching in the living room
Literally shaking out your hands and arms when you feel the rage coming on
Movement doesn’t have to be big or structured, it just needs to get some of that energy out of your system.
3. Name your feelings (maybe even out loud)
It sounds simple, but naming your emotions helps take away some of their power.
The next time you feel rage bubbling up, try saying (out loud or in your head):
“I feel rage right now.”
“I feel like I’m about to explode.”
“This is postpartum rage, not me being a bad mom.”
Labeling what’s happening gives your brain a tiny pause before reacting, which can be enough to stop an outburst in its tracks. If you’re having a tough time finding the words, check out the Feelings Wheel for inspiration.
💙 Becoming a parent can be seriously overwhelming. The Ease Parenting Stress series from Jeff Warren can give you tools to support yourself throughout your journey.
4. Breathe through it (but in a way that actually works)
Deep breathing sounds cliché, but it actually helps calm your nervous system — if you do it right.
Try the 4–7–8 breathing method:
Inhale through your nose for four seconds.
Hold your breath for seven seconds.
Exhale through your mouth for eight seconds.
This helps shift your body out of fight-or-flight mode, making it easier to cool down before the anger takes over. Want other options? Try these seven techniques.
💙 When you’re anxious, your entire body can tense up. Dr. Julie Smith can walk you through breathing exercises designed to make you feel better in her Overcome Stress and Anxiety series.
5. Take a micro-break (yes, even when it feels impossible)
When rage starts to build, step away — physically, if you can.
If you feel like you’re about to snap, put the baby in a safe place like a crib or bouncer and give yourself permission to take two minutes to breathe, stretch, or just be by yourself.
If you’re with a partner, tag out, and if you don’t have help when you start to feel furious? Even a quick trip to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face can help reset your brain.
6. Fuel your body (because hanger is real)
Postpartum moms are famous for surviving on coffee and the crusts of their older kid’s PB&J. But low blood sugar and dehydration make rage worse, and eating real food can make a huge difference.
Easy, protein-packed snacks can include:
String cheese
Almonds or trail mix
Greek yogurt
Peanut butter on toast
Hard-boiled eggs
It’s not about eating “perfectly,” it’s about giving your body enough fuel to function.
7. Talk about it (with someone who gets it)
One of the hardest things about postpartum rage is the shame that comes after an outburst, but bottling it up makes it worse.
Talk to someone — a partner, a friend, a therapist, a postpartum support group. Opening up about your feelings can make it feel less scary, and remind you that you’re not the only one dealing with this.
If your rage feels unmanageable, reach out for professional help. Therapy (especially with someone who specializes in postpartum mental health) can give you the tools to regulate your emotions and feel more like you again.
8. Ask for help (because it really does take a village)
You don’t have to be the one doing everything all the time. If your mental load is pushing you to the edge, it’s time to delegate and set boundaries:
Ask your partner to take on specific baby or household tasks.
Say “no” to things that drain you.
Accept help when it’s offered (or ask for it if it’s not).
You’re not supposed to be doing this alone, and asking for support isn’t failing. If that doesn’t come naturally to you, here are seven tips to help you gain confidence.
What if none of this is helping?
If you’ve tried these strategies and your rage still feels out of control, frequent, or scary, it might be time to talk to a doctor or therapist.
Postpartum rage can be a symptom of postpartum depression, anxiety, or even OCD, and while self-care tips can help, sometimes professional support (like therapy or medication) is the best path to relief.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re taking care of yourself which, in turn, helps you take care of your baby.
You don’t have to just “push through” postpartum rage. You can feel better — and you deserve that.
Postpartum rage FAQs
How can I tell if my postpartum anger is something more serious?
If your anger feels constant, overwhelming, or out of control, it might be part of a larger postpartum mood disorder, like postpartum depression (PPD), anxiety (PPA), or even postpartum OCD.
Occasional frustration is normal, but if you’re having frequent, intense outbursts, struggling to calm down, or feeling guilty and ashamed all the time, it’s worth checking in with a doctor or therapist.
Also, if your rage ever leads to aggression, thoughts of harming yourself or others, or feeling completely detached from your baby, reach out for help immediately. Postpartum mental health struggles are treatable, and you deserve to feel better.
Can postpartum rage affect bonding with my baby?
It can, but not permanently — and more importantly, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. If you’re constantly feeling on edge, overstimulated, or guilty after outbursts, it may feel harder to feel connected to your baby. Some moms even experience resentment or detachment, which only adds to the shame spiral.
Still, bonding isn’t instant for everyone, and it’s not a one-time event. As you start managing your rage and getting support, your ability to connect with your baby can grow, too. If you’re struggling with attachment, a therapist or postpartum support group can help you find ways to rebuild that connection, without the guilt.
Are there natural remedies for postpartum rage?
Yes! While professional support is always an option, small lifestyle shifts can help, too. Sleep, nutrition, movement, and stress management all play a role in regulating emotions.
Some natural strategies that can help include:
4–7–8 breathing to calm your nervous system
Daily movement, even if it’s just stretching or a short walk
Cutting back on caffeine and sugar
Prioritizing sleep when possible
Natural remedies can be great tools, but they’re not a cure-all. If your rage feels persistent, uncontrollable, or distressing, professional help (like therapy or medication) might be the best next step.
How long does postpartum rage last?
There’s no set timeline — some moms notice postpartum rage fading after a few months, while others struggle until they get additional support. If your rage is caused by hormonal shifts, it may improve as your body regulates (typically within the first year). But if it’s tied to stress, exhaustion, or deeper mental health struggles, it might stick around until you get the help you need.
The key sign that it’s time to reach out? If postpartum rage is interfering with your relationships, daily life, or overall well-being. You don’t have to wait for it to pass on its own, you deserve to feel better now.
Can partners also experience postpartum rage?
Absolutely. While moms go through the biggest hormonal shifts, partners can also struggle with anger, irritability, and mood changes due to stress, sleep deprivation, and adjusting to their new role. Postpartum depression and anxiety can affect dads and non-birthing partners, too, and sometimes it shows up as frustration or outbursts instead of sadness.
If your partner seems unusually angry, distant, or reactive, encourage them to talk about it and seek support. Parenthood is a huge transition for both of you, but things will get better.
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