Thinking of doing a silent retreat? Here’s what to know
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
A silent retreat can be filled with blissful moments as well as challenging ones. Learn what to expect on retreat and how to prepare so you get the most out of it.
Thanks to our never-ending to-do lists and always-connected lifestyles, the idea of being in silence can seem a bit… daunting.
Sure, taking time for quiet reflection and peaceful meditation sounds great, but in reality, slowing down and sitting with ourselves can also be a little scary.
If you’re considering a silent retreat and feeling some hesitation, know that it’s normal. These retreats take us out of the comfort and distraction of our daily lives, so it’s natural to feel nervous.
But with a little bit of information and preparation, you can walk into your retreat with courage and ease. We’ll break down the different types of retreats, what you can expect, and share some simple tips to help you feel ready.
Let’s get (quietly) into it.
What is a silent retreat?
At its core, a silent retreat is an extended period of intentional silence, usually in a group setting, where you refrain from talking and other forms of communication (like using your phone or the internet). Retreats typically have a schedule that includes activities like gentle movement, meditation, walks, meals, and rest. There could be guidance from facilitators as well.
On some retreats, there might be rules like “no eye contact, no reading, no writing,” while others take a more flexible approach, allowing you to journal and have short check-ins with the instructors.
Taking this quiet time away from your everyday life can be a great chance to deepen your meditation practice and give your nervous system and overloaded brain a chance to exhale. It helps quiet the external noise so you can actually hear what’s going on inside of you. It also allows you to notice what happens when you stop performing and start being.
Spending a few days in silence with other people can be powerful. Even though there’s no talking, just knowing you’re all doing the (often messy) internal work together can be comforting. And while these retreats can sound intimidating, like they're only for expert meditators, many retreats are open and welcoming to newbies as well.
4 types of silent retreats
There are as many different kinds of silent retreats as there are types of meditation. Here are four of the most common:
Vipassana retreats: Rooted in Buddhist tradition, these 10-day intensives tend to be structured and rigorous. It’s a lot of meditation, early wake-ups, and a strict no-talking, no-reading, no-eye-contact policy.
Mindfulness-based retreats: These are often shorter and more accessible. They’re usually led by instructors who guide participants through gentle meditations, movement, and periods of silence.
Nature-based retreats: This style takes place in nature. Think forest cabins, outdoor meditation, and long, wordless walks. If you tend to get grounded outside, this can be great for you.
DIY solo retreats: You can also create your own silent retreat at home or in a cabin. Aim to set boundaries like no phones or social media, and consider having a loose structure to follow.
5 benefits of going on a silent retreat
Going on a silent retreat can help you step away long enough to see yourself and your life more clearly. This quiet can help create space for healing and healthy boredom. Here are five benefits that can emerge when you go on a silent retreat:
1. A nervous system that finally unclenches: Without constant messages, pressure, and overstimulation, your body can start to downshift into something that feels like actual rest. The kind where your jaw isn’t clenched, and you remember what it feels like to not be tense for every second of the day.
2. Emotional clarity: A lot of the time, silence can act like a mirror, and feelings you’ve been side-stepping may start to come forward. As a result, some people find unexpected clarity.
3. Rediscovering what actually matters to you: Without constant distraction, your internal compass may start talking to you a little louder and remind you of things that you’ve forgotten, like how you used to love watching the clouds. Small reminders like this can be quietly revolutionary.
4. A fresh relationship with discomfort: Silent retreats can sometimes be uncomfortable, but learning how to sit with restlessness, without numbing or fixing, can be a powerful skill. Plus, this can come in handy when life doesn’t go as planned.
5. A deeper sense of presence: When you’re on a silent retreat, you could start to notice the sound of your breath or the exact color of a flower at sunrise. Moments like this won’t fix everything, but they can help stitch together a different kind of aliveness.
What to expect from a silent retreat
Silent retreats can be grounding, beautiful, emotional, frustrating, and also deeply ordinary. Here’s what you can expect so that you’re prepared and can meet yourself with a little more kindness when things come up:
The quiet can feel awkward at first: Try to picture sitting in a room full of people, eating soup, and no one’s talking. Sitting in silence with a lot of people around you can be off-putting and unusual at first, but this social tension softens within a day or two.
Your brain may go into overdrive: Many people think their thoughts will slow down in silence, but a lot of the time, they actually get louder first. If that happens, remember that you’re not failing. You’re just finally hearing what’s been there all along.
The schedule helps: Usually, most retreats have some structure where you meditate, have meals, do some movement, and then rest. This can feel beautifully supportive, but you also might find yourself resisting the schedule or daydreaming about skipping the next sit — that’s okay and very normal.
You might feel a lot. Or very little: Some people tend to cry, or laugh, or feel restless and even angry. All of these experiences are valid. There’s no “right” way to feel, and no emotion—or lack thereof—defines your success. Let yourself feel whatever comes up.
The mundane might surprise you: Small and ordinary things can potentially start to feel extraordinary when you’re paying attention, like the rhythm of your feet on a rocky path. This is usually because your brain finally has the space to notice these little marvels.
How to prepare yourself for a silent retreat: 5 tips to help you get ready
It’s normal to feel nervous before a retreat, and so is the desire to get yourself perfectly prepared. But there’s no one “right” way to get ready. Instead, there are some things you can consider and steps you can take to help you ease into the experience.
Whether it’s your first or fiftieth time, here are some tips to help you set yourself up for a great retreat.
1. Practice a few mini-silences ahead of time
If you’re not used to being quiet, practicing a few small moments of silence can help you to dip your toes in. It can also help you notice what happens when you unplug a little, which may make the retreat experience a little less jarring.
Try setting aside 30–60 minutes at home where you don’t talk, text, or read. Just exist in silence and maybe do your dishes, take a walk, or stare out the window. (Explore the five benefits of silence and more ideas to create a quiet time ritual.)
2. Set some gentle expectations (and then let them go)
Many of us get carried away with our hopes about the retreat—I won’t struggle at all, or it will fix all of my problems—and these unrealistic expectations can set us up for disappointment.
Instead, try to set some gentle (and reasonable) expectations. A great intention could be, “I want to be present with whatever comes up,” or, “I want to meet myself with more kindness.”
Let a few supportive and kind intentions be your anchor, and then let the experience unfold however it unfolds.
💙 Get more clear on your Expectations during this session with Jay Shetty..
3. Make a cozy and comforting packing list
Consider bringing a few comforting and familiar things, like a cozy scarf, a thermos for tea, and a pair of earplugs if you’re a light sleeper. These types of items can help you feel grounded and more at home in this new, quiet place.
Make sure to check ahead of time to see what’s allowed, as some retreats have guidelines around writing, reading, or even eye masks. Also, consider bringing a journal, if permitted, for writing down anything that feels too big to hold in your mind.
4. Show your body some love
Sitting still for long periods can sometimes be physically demanding, especially if you’re not used to it. Before your retreat, try doing a few gentle movement practices—like stretching, walking, yoga, or even just lying on the floor—and noticing how your body feels.
During the retreat, listen to your body. If you need to shift, move, or take a walk during a break, do it. Also, consider bringing anything that will support your physical comfort, like cushions or a hot water bottle.
Taking care of your body can help your mind relax. (Don’t know where to start? Give these six morning stretches a try.)
5. Practice not judging your experience (even now)
It’s important to bring a practice of self-compassion to the retreat. You can start this ahead of time by noticing the stories you tell yourself like, “I won’t be good at it,” or, “I won’t be able to handle silence.”
Once you notice them, practice saying, “Whatever shows up is okay.” Write it on a note and put it in your pocket. Let this be your tiny mantra when you’re overwhelmed or frustrated on day one (or two or seven).
By doing this ahead of time, you're more prepared to reframe those sticky thoughts when they come up on the retreat.
💙 If being kind to yourself feels hard, this session on The Path of Self Compassion with Jay Shetty can help.
Silent retreat FAQs
What happens on a silent retreat?
A silent retreat offers a structured space to unplug from the external noise of the world and reconnect with your inner self. Most retreats follow a daily rhythm where you wake early, practice meditation in some form, eat meals in silence, and then allow time for rest and reflection.
Some retreats include gentle yoga, walking meditations, and talks from teachers to support your practice. Most of the time, you’re encouraged to turn off your phone, avoid eye contact or gestures, and let go of your standard social habits.
The goal of a silent retreat is to create enough stillness to be able to hear what’s happening beneath the hum of everyday life.
What is a quiet retreat?
The terms “quiet retreat” and “silent retreat” are sometimes used interchangeably, but “quiet” usually implies a slightly more flexible approach.
At a quiet retreat, you could be allowed to journal, read, or speak during brief check-ins with a teacher. It’s still intentional silence, but the edges may be softer and a little looser.
If the idea of strict silence feels scary to you, a quiet retreat could be a gentler place for you to start. Overall, this type of retreat is less about total stillness and more about intentionally slowing down.
Can you talk during a silent retreat?
Usually, during a silent retreat, you aren’t supposed to talk, which may feel daunting or overwhelming. It’s more about making an agreement with yourself and the group to let go of verbal communication for a little bit of time.
Some retreats do offer scheduled one-on-one check-ins with teachers where speaking is okay, especially if you’re struggling or have questions. And if you have an emergency or practical needs, there will be systems in place to share or get help.
What if I accidentally talk on a silent retreat?
Nothing bad is going to happen if you accidentally talk on a silent retreat. In fact, automatic words like “thank you” or a whispered “oops” will likely slip out at some point. This is completely fine.
You’re human, and accidents happen. If you say something, aim to just gently return to silence without judging yourself. The point of a silent retreat is presence and not perfection.
Will I feel lonely on a silent retreat?
It’s possible that you’ll feel lonely on a retreat. A lot of the time, silence can create a kind of emotional spaciousness that can feel like solitude, which can veer into loneliness.
While this is common at the beginning of the retreat, over time, many people find a surprising sense of connection in sharing silence. Being “alone together” with others who are also doing this gentle work can often feel deeply comforting.
If you start to feel lonely on a silent retreat, try to look at it as an invitation to get curious and see what’s underneath. Remind yourself that you’re most likely not the only one feeling it, which can—ironically—be a comfort in itself.
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