What is a work wife? Plus, 10 signs you may have one
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Have you ever seen two coworkers who are more than just colleagues? Learn what "work wife" and “work husband” means, the potential benefits, and 10 signs you may have one.
We spend countless hours at work, so it's only natural to build strong connections with our coworkers. But sometimes, a bond becomes even more significant — that’s when you might find yourself with a work spouse. Whether you call them a “work wife” or “work husband,” this special coworker is someone who’s got your back, day in and day out. And while you might spend more time with this person than with your actual partner at home, work spouses are just a fun title for an otherwise platonic relationship.
Like all close friendships, having a work spouse doesn’t just make the day fly by, it can boost your mental health and make work feel less like, well… work. But you may also wonder how this close connection might affect your relationships outside the office — or even what others around the office might think.
So, is a work wife or work husband the secret to thriving at work? And how do you keep the balance between your office life and personal life?
What is a work wife (or work husband)?
A “work wife” (or “work husband”) is a coworker you have a close, supportive, and platonic relationship with. They're not someone you’re romantically involved with, but a title you may give a colleague who is basically your best friend at work.
You likely work together closely, collaborate on projects, or share an office space. But more than that, you can have a laugh together, count on them for support, vent to, or grab a coffee when you need a break. You probably rely on each other to give advice, lighten tough tasks, or prop you up emotionally during stressful workdays.
This relationship can feel a lot like a real-life marriage in that you look out for each other, talk frequently, and might even know what each other is thinking or finish each other’s sentences. But unlike a romantic partnership, a work spouse relationship is built on rapport, professional respect, mutual understanding, and a shared sense of experience at work only. With a work wife or work husband, you're there for each other just like in any good friendship. Hoping to create more meaningful connections at work? Here are 15 ways to build rapport with those around you.
Can both men and women have work spouses?
A “work wife” or “work husband” isn’t limited by gender, even though the language might suggest otherwise. Anyone—regardless of gender—can have a work spouse. What defines a work spouse is the bond of trust, support, and friendship, not whether it’s between a man and a woman, two women, two men, or any other combination. A female might have a “work wife” if her closest friend at work is a woman. Or a guy might have a “work husband” if his closest co-working buddy is a man. The term is meant to be tongue and cheek, like a petname, but for coworkers.
These friendships can be incredibly valuable, giving you one person at work you can lean on — someone who truly understands the day-to-day stresses you face because they are living them alongside you.
Benefits of having a work spouse
Having a work spouse can offer several benefits, especially when it comes to your mental health and overall job satisfaction.
Increased job satisfaction: When you have someone you trust at work, you’re more likely to enjoy your job. A work spouse can make even stressful days feel more manageable.
Emotional support: Having a friend to talk to who understands the environment can help you cope. They get what you’re going through, so they're meeting you where you're at when you need to offload or discuss a work issue.
Collaboration and productivity: A close colleague can help make your day more productive. You work well together, complement each other’s strengths — and you're comfortable bouncing ideas off each other, which can make you more creative on projects.
Reduced burnout: Having someone reliable to lean on can make all the difference when you’re feeling overwhelmed. A work spouse can help lift the emotional load of the day.
Better communication: When you’re in sync with your work spouse, communication can be smoother, so tasks can be done faster and with less frustration. If you’re struggling to communicate, here are 13 tips to create effective communication in the workplace.
A sense of belonging at work: Having a work spouse can make everything at your workplace feel like a team effort, which can boost motivation and engagement.
A source of joy during the workday: Adding fun to the workplace can make the daily grind more enjoyable. Companionship, laughter, and celebrating achievements together can help keep your mood and energy levels high. This can help balance the seriousness of work, and remind you that it doesn't always have to be stressful.
10 signs you may have a work wife or work husband
Do you have a work wife or work husband? If you’re not sure, here are a few telltale signs that you’ve developed a special relationship at work.
You talk every day, even when you don’t have to.
You rely on each other for venting and support.
You regularly grab lunch or coffee together.
You trust their opinion on work and personal matters.
You have inside jokes or a shared sense of humor.
You instinctively know when they need help — or a break.
You always have each other’s backs.
Colleagues notice your bond.
You feel comfortable being yourself around them.
You miss them when they’re not around.
What to consider when you have strong friendships at work
Having a work wife or work husband can be a great source of support and friendship. Just be sure to balance your relationship with professionalism and respect, so you can enjoy all the benefits of having a close work friendship without any misunderstandings or discomfort.
Stay professional while at work
It’s easy to get caught up in a close friendship at work, but it’s important to remember that the workplace is still a professional environment. Don't let the fun of having a work wife or work husband interfere with your job performance or cause you to prioritize each other over the work itself. Make sure you’re still meeting deadlines, being a team player, and bringing your best self to your job.
💙 Check out this session on Conflict Resolution the next time you need help navigating a work spouse spat.
Remember that supporting your mental health is your job
While having a work spouse can provide much-needed emotional support at work, try not to become too dependent on that one person for all of your emotional needs. If you find yourself turning to your work spouse for every problem or emotional issue, it might be a sign that you’re emotionally dumping on someone else instead of taking care of your own mental health.
Spread out your support system to help you avoid putting too much pressure on a single relationship, and ensure you’re staying connected to other important people in your life.
💙 Feeling stressed on the job? Explore this session on Managing Overwhelm with Chibs Okereke.
Remain respectful of your other coworkers
If you and your work spouse spend a lot of time together you want to make sure you’re still being inclusive and warm to your other coworkers. No one likes it when people clique off and make them feel excluded. So if you have lunch with your work wife or work husband every day, maybe invite some other coworkers occasionally to join. You want to maintain good rapport with all of your colleagues, not just the one you’re closest to.
💙 Explore our Mindfulness At Work series with Tamara Levitt for some pointers on how to live your best work life.
Take space if needed
Just like any other friendship, there can be times when you might need some space from each other. Just be sure to communicate this respectfully and kindly. If you need to, have an open and respectful conversation with your work spouse about how you can make changes to keep the relationship healthy and professional for both of you.
What is a work wife FAQs
Can having a work wife affect your personal relationship at home?
Sometimes, having a work wife or work husband might affect your romantic relationship, but it really depends on how well you manage boundaries and communication with your partner.
Be open and honest with your partner: let them know about the friendship, explain that it’s platonic, and be clear about the support it provides you at work. This can help avoid any misunderstandings.
It can also help to involve your partner in conversations about your work life. Talk about your work spouse the same way you would with any other coworker, so it doesn’t seem like you’re keeping them a secret.
What are the boundaries you should set with a work wife or work husband?
Make sure you're both on the same page about the nature of the relationship, and keep conversations at work appropriate for the workplace. Respect physical boundaries, too. In most professional settings, physical distance helps ensure no one feels uncomfortable. Simple gestures like high-fives or a pat on the back—or even a hug on a particularly tough day—might seem harmless, but always check in with the other person to make sure they’re comfortable with any physical contact.
If boundaries aren’t your strong suit, here are six tips to help you bring clarity to all of your relationships.
Is it common to have a work wife in remote work environments?
Work spouse relationships can definitely form in remote or hybrid work environments. Even though you’re not physically in the same space, you can still develop a strong connection with a coworker through regular virtual meetings, chats, and collaboration. In fact, working remotely might even strengthen your bond with a work spouse because you rely on them more for human contact via messaging platforms or video calls so you don’t feel isolated.
When you’re working remotely, it can be comforting to have someone you can message for a quick break or chat about work-related stresses. The dynamic might look a little different, with fewer in-person lunches or coffee breaks, but the emotional support and professional collaboration can be just as strong.
Can a work wife relationship become inappropriate?
What begins as a supportive, platonic friendship could potentially lead to emotional attachment that feels too personal or even romantic, and that could create problems both in the workplace and in your personal life. But, if you treat a work spouse relationship the same way you would treat any platonic relationship you shouldn’t have any issues with boundaries.
If at any point the relationship starts to feel like it’s crossing a line, have an honest conversation and reset those boundaries to keep things on track.
How can you build strong professional relationships without forming a work wife bond?
If you’re looking to build strong professional relationships without necessarily forming a work spouse connection, focus on collaboration and teamwork with a variety of coworkers.
A key aspect of building healthy work relationships is balance: instead of relying on one person for support or guidance, make an effort to connect with multiple colleagues. This can help spread out the emotional and professional support, creating a more diverse network of workplace relationships.
You might also join or create opportunities for group interactions, like team lunches, project meetings, mentoring groups or casual check-ins with different coworkers.
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