How to Relax: 10 easy ways to unwind

Many of us find it very hard to relax. Even when we are doing things that should help relax us, our busy minds keep our nervous systems alert. With so much stimulation - buzzing phones and pinging inboxes and news feeds full of content - our brains are busy processing input. Even when we get a break from physical activity, we may still get very little downtime from mental thought. When much of the world is operating at such a fast pace, it can be radical to slow down and intentionally learn how to relax.

Learning how to relax requires intention and a little personal experimentation. Because relaxing looks different for each of us. 

Here are 10 easy ways to relax - see which work best for you.

1. Learn how to relax your muscles.

Progressive muscle relaxation is one way to clear your mind while also focusing on your body. Here’s how to do it:

• Get comfortable. For most people, this will mean lying down somewhere quiet but it’s also possible to do in any position and any environment.

• Starting from your feet and working your way up, isolate each part of your body and, if you’re able to, tense it, hold for a few seconds, and then release. So, tense your toes, hold, and then release, then move on to the next body part until you’re tensing, holding, and releasing the muscles of your face and then scalp.

• When you’ve done your whole body, take three slow deep breaths to really savor the sensation of relaxed muscles and to give yourself that body memory.

2. Relax with breathing exercises.

We can calm our nervous systems and show our bodies how to relax by slowing our breathing. Even just three deep, slow breaths can release cortisol, one of the stress hormones, and help us to feel more peaceful. 

How to relax with a breathing exercise called square breathing:

• Breathe in slowly until your lungs are full

• Hold your breath for the same amount of time as it took to inhale the breath

• Release the breath slowly for the same amount of time

• Hold your lungs empty for the same duration

It’s called square breathing because you can visualize each of these actions as one side of a square.

Another breathing exercise is to follow a visualization like this Calm Breathe Bubble. (It’s one of the most popular tools in the Calm meditation app.) This is an example of triangle breathing, following a pattern of slow inhale - hold - slow exhale. 

3. Write it out.

Our minds are busy places. We have so many things to remember. We may also have difficult thoughts that are hard to shake. Writing out what’s in our minds can help us relax by reassuring the brain it doesn’t need to hold and track everything. 

Some ideas for using writing and lists to relax:

• Write out feelings as part of a bedtime routine so they don’t disrupt sleep

• Keep a small journal handy for writing down ideas as they come throughout the day

• Use a written system of tracking your to-dos to get them out of your head (a lot of people enjoy the Bullet Journal method)

• Write out worries and fears and then tear them up or burn them as part of a personal practice

• Keep a gratitude journal and write down the things you’re thankful for to start or finish the day (or any time you are feeling stressed)

4. Visualize yourself somewhere relaxing.

Our brains are so powerful. If we tell them how to feel, they’ll lead the body. We can help ourselves relax by picturing ourselves relaxed. What is your calm place? Can you imagine yourself there right now?

You might picture yourself in a meadow on a warm spring afternoon, or walking through a quiet pine forest. Maybe you like to be on a boat, gently rocking or at the beach, listening to rolling waves … The more specific sensory detail you can imagine, the better. 

• What can you smell?

• What can you see?

• What are the colors of the scene?

• How does your body feel?

If you find it difficult to visualize in your own mind, you can use supports to help. Cut beautiful pictures out of magazines that you find relaxing (travel brochures can be great for this too). Set your laptop screensaver to a digital scene and imagine yourself in it. The meditation and relaxation app Calm includes dozens of scenes with soundscapes designed for relaxation.

4. Take a dance break.

Putting on a song you like and making yourself dance, even if you’re not in the mood for it and especially if you’re not in the mood for it, sends feel-good hormones through your body and helps you relax. Upbeat music is great but if you’re feeling sad, slow-dancing to a sad song can also help. So can stomping around to angry music. Whenever we bring our bodies and minds into alignment, we reduce tension and promote relaxation.

5. Body scan to relax.

Beginning with the top of your head and moving down the body, check in with each part and be present with whatever sensations arise. A mindful body scan is similar to progressive muscle relaxation but instead of intending to tense and release each muscle, we help our bodies relax by bringing awareness to each sensation. If, as you’re checking in with your body, you find tension in your lower back, for instance, breathe into that tension and let it be, before moving on. It’s very relaxing to be present with ourselves in this way.

Preview a guided body scan meditation now.

6. Listen to relaxing music.

Music can help us relax. The best music for relaxation has a slower tempo. Soothing music that is in the range of 60-80 beats per minute has been shown to encourage the heart to slow and match the sleeping heart rate, encouraging feelings of deep relaxation.

7. Spend time in nature.

Researchers at University of Michigan found that we can lower our stress hormone levels considerably by taking at least 20 minutes in “a place that provides a sense of nature.” Even if we don’t live near an ocean or mountains or forest, connecting with nature is always possible, on whatever scale available to us. 

Some ideas for connecting with nature more regularly:

• Nurture a house (or office) plant

• Have your morning coffee outdoors

• Spend part of your lunch break in a park near where you work

• Go for a walk in the evening and track the phases of the moon

• Put your bare feet on the ground and feel the earth

• Watch clouds

8. Practice mindful eating.

We all need to eat. With a mindful eating practice, those necessary breaks can become intentional pauses for relaxation too. Mindful eating is simply eating with full attention through our senses.  Dr. Michelle May teaches a master class in Mindful Eating in the Calm app. If you’re interested in combining mealtimes with active mindfulness meditation, it’s a helpful listen.

9. Move your body to relax.

Gentle mindful movement helps slow the heart rate and induce a feeling of relaxation in the body. Some people practice yoga or Tai Chi to calm the mind and body but a formal practice or class isn’t necessary. Gentle stretching as part of your daily routine can yield relaxing benefits, too.

10. Meditate.

Meditation is one of the best ways to relax. And relaxation is just one of the many, many benefits of meditation.

How to relax by meditating:

• Find a comfortable position for your body 

• Close or softly focus your eyes

• Breathe naturally

• Pay attention to your breathing - just notice it (all this noticing is the meditation)

• When your mind wanders - and it will - gently return your attention to your breath

If you are just learning how to meditate, you might appreciate the support of a guided meditation. Guided meditation is when the person meditating is led through the meditation by a meditation teacher or other practitioner. This can happen in a meditation class or by listening to an audio meditation online or in a meditation app. Instead of meditating in silence, the meditator is listening to the guidance of another voice.

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