8 active listening techniques to improve communication
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Discover what active listening is and why it's important for better communication. Plus, 8 active listening techniques and examples of how you can practice them.
Everyone communicates in some way, shape, or form. Verbal and non-verbal communication are the building blocks of connection, which is an essential part of a person’s life. When we’re not the one speaking in the conversation, however, we might forget about the other equally important part of conversing — listening.
Think about how you feel when you’re telling a friend about your day, and they’re nodding, asking follow-up questions, and responding thoughtfully. Good, right? Now, think about how you feel when you’re having a conversation with someone who’s staring at their phone, zoning out, or clearly thinking about something else. Not so good, if we had to guess.
Active listening is a critical part of effective communication and can help you build strong relationships at home, at work, and within your social circle. When you learn how to engage with people and make them feel truly heard, you can reduce misunderstandings, deepen bonds, and build a more collaborative and supportive environment.
What is active listening?
Active listening involves fully engaging with the person speaking, understanding what they’re saying, and responding thoughtfully. It can ensure that both parties feel heard and understood, which may build trust, help resolve conflicts, and encourage deeper connections with others.
The importance of active listening
From personal relationships to professional connections, active listening can enhance communication between you and the people you’re talking to.
Better understanding between people
Stronger trust with others
Deeper connections
Enhanced problem-solving skills
Greater empathy
Improved teamwork and collaboration
Better customer satisfaction
Stronger personal growth
8 active listening techniques with examples
Active listening involves several techniques that can help you become a more effective communicator, which can lead to stronger, more meaningful relationships.
1. Pay attention to the conversation
Put aside distractions and concentrate solely on what the person is saying. Listen to their words, but also interpret their tone of voice and body language. During a conversation with a friend, family member, or partner, turn off your phone or put it on silent to avoid interruptions. Look at them and focus on their words and expressions.
💙 Practice Holding Space for the person you’re speaking with and giving them your full attention.
2. Show the person you’re listening
Active listening involves showing the speaker that you’re engaged in the conversation. Use non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using facial expressions that match the speaker's emotions. When talking with a friend about their day, look into their eyes and nod occasionally to show that you’re paying attention. If your friend tells you they had a tough day at work, give cues that show empathy and understanding.
💙 Show that you’re Listening with these helpful tips from Tamara Levitt’s Relationship with Others Series.
3. Summarize back what’s been said
Paraphrase what the speaker has said to make sure you understand their message correctly. By doing so you’re showing that you’re engaged in the conversation. If someone shares plans for the weekend, you might say, "So you're going camping with your friends on Saturday?"
4. Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions encourages the speaker to provide more information and keeps the conversation going. It shows that you’re interested in their thoughts and feelings. This might look like asking a child, "What was the best part of your school day?" instead of just asking how their day was. This encourages them to share more details.
5. Refrain from judgment and interruptions
Listen with an open mind and don’t interrupt with opinions. This can help create a safe space for the speaker to share their thoughts and feelings. When someone shares a personal problem, listen without immediately offering a solution. Instead, offer support and understanding by saying, "That sounds really tough. How are you feeling about it?" If you find it difficult not to interrupt, count to three in your head before responding.
💙 Practice extending Loving-Kindness in place of judgment when responding to your friend’s—or anyone’s—feelings.
6. Show them your feelings
Respond thoughtfully. Perhaps by offering support, asking further questions, or giving feedback that shows you’ve listened carefully. If someone trusts you to share a personal problem, be empathetic and supportive. Use phrases like, "I'm really sorry you're going through this. How can I help?"
💙 Learn more about practicing Empathy and how the expression of your true feelings can help others open up, too.
7. Provide feedback, if asked
Show you’re actively engaged and clarify any misunderstandings by offering feedback, support, or advice, if asked. If someone is telling you that they’re having trouble communicating with a family member and they ask your advice, you might say something like, "I understand how hard it can be to have difficult conversations, would you like to practice the conversation with me?”
8. Use verbal affirmations to show support
Try phrases like "I see," "I understand," and "That makes sense," to encourage the speaker to continue sharing. When a family member is telling you about their day, use verbal affirmations like, "That sounds interesting. Tell me more," to help keep them engaged in the conversation.
6 tips to practice active listening in daily life
Enhance your communication skills, improve your relationships, and become more empathetic by prioritizing active listening. Here are a few things to keep in mind while practicing active listening in your daily life.
1. Get grounded with mindfulness
Before starting a conversation, take a few deep breaths to center yourself and clear your mind of distractions. Stay present in the moment and focus on the speaker. Avoid letting your mind wander or thinking about what to say next.
💙 Enhance your active listening practice with Jeff Warren’s Mindfulness for Beginners meditation series.
2. Seek feedback on your skills
After a conversation, ask the speaker, "Did I understand you correctly?" If you’re comfortable, ask for feedback on your listening skills from friends, family, or colleagues to help you find areas for improvement and become a more effective listener.
3. Limit distractions to help you focus
When you’re sitting down with someone for a meeting or even a friendly cup of coffee, find a quiet place and put away your phone to show you’re fully present and ready to listen. Set specific times of the day to check your phone or personal email to avoid unnecessary distractions.
💙 Pause to Breathe with Calm’s meditation that can guide you in finding your center (and limit distractions) before beginning a conversation.
4. Practice empathy for someone's experience
Try to understand the speaker’s perspective to help you respond more thoughtfully and build stronger connections. When someone shares an emotional experience, acknowledge their feelings.
💙 Press play on Empathy vs. Compassion, a session from the Daily Jay that explores the differences between the two and how to practice both.
5. Reflect on your own experiences
Think about what helps you feel truly listened to, and use those insights to improve your own listening habits. Write down the key behaviors that made you feel heard, then try these out for yourself.
💙 See yourself more clearly to see others more clearly with guidance from Jay Shetty’s True Reflections.
6. Get comfortable with moments of silence
When someone’s speaking, resist the urge to fill pauses or silence. Instead, let them gather their thoughts and continue at their own pace. Don’t rush them.
💙 Learn to practice and prioritize having Patience with others by first learning to have patience with yourself.
Active listening examples FAQs
How can I improve my active listening skills?
You can improve your active listening skills with practice and these five easy-to-remember tips.
Practice regularly: Use active listening in all your interactions, whether with friends, family, or colleagues. Practicing can help make the habit more natural.
Seek feedback: Find areas for improvement by asking questions like, "Do you feel like I listened well during our conversation?"
Stay present: Focus on the speaker and avoid distractions. Mindfulness techniques, like taking deep breaths before conversations, can help.
Reflect and paraphrase: Summarize what the speaker said to confirm your understanding. For instance, you may say, "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated, because the project is delayed. Is that right?"
Show empathy: Try to understand the speaker's perspective. Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, "I can see why that would upset you." Take it one step further by relating to them even more by saying something like, “It’d upset me, too.”
What are some common barriers to active listening?
Several barriers can hinder active listening, but with awareness, you can overcome them.
Distractions: Noise, interruptions, and a focus on your response or other concerns can affect your listening ability. Minimize distractions by choosing quiet environments and focusing on the speaker.
Preconceived notions: Preconceived ideas or judgments about the speaker or topic can prevent you from fully engaging. Approach each conversation with an open mind.
Emotional triggers: Strong emotions can disrupt active listening. Stay calm and focused by using emotional regulation techniques like deep breathing.
Interruptions: Wait for the other person to finish speaking before you respond.
Multitasking: Prioritize the conversation and give the speaker your full attention.
How does active listening differ from passive listening?
Active listening and passive listening are fundamentally different in their approach and outcomes.
Active listening: Active listening involves being fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. You might actively listen by nodding, making eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing key points to make sure you’ve understood.
Passive listening: Passive listening involves hearing the words but not fully engaging with the speaker. It lacks interaction and may lead to misunderstandings. For example, passive listening might involve hearing a lecture but not taking notes or asking questions, which can mean you miss important information.
Can active listening help in resolving conflicts?
Active listening can help resolve conflicts by ensuring all parties feel heard and understood. It creates a nonjudgmental environment in which everyone feels comfortable expressing their viewpoints. This can help de-escalate tension because it means you acknowledge the views and feelings of the other person.
By fully understanding each other's perspectives, you can then identify the root causes of the conflict and address them. Expressing empathy can help mend the relationship.
What role does body language play in active listening?
Body language is important in active listening. It can convey interest, understanding, and empathy without using words.
Maintain eye contact: Show you’re focused and interested in what the speaker is saying.
Nod: Encourage the speaker to continue and show you’re giving them your attention.
Lean forward: Demonstrate you’re interested and invested in the conversation.
Use facial expressions: Reflect the speaker’s emotions through your facial expressions to show empathy and understanding.
Avoid distractions: Put away your phone and other distractions to show you value the conversation and the speaker’s time.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
