Are you anti-Valentine's Day? Here's how to (not) celebrate V-day
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
If you're one of those people who dreads Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone. Explore the anti-Valentine’s Day movement, and how to "celebrate" a little differently this V-day.
Ah, Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day of the year when love is supposedly in the air — but for a lot of people, it just smells like overpriced roses and hard-to-get restaurant reservations. If you’re single, it’s easy to feel left out. If you’re in a relationship, there’s pressure to prove your love by pulling out all the stops. And if you simply don’t care about Valentine’s Day? Well, good luck avoiding the explosion of marketing.
It’s enough to make you want to stomp on a box of candy hearts.
Enter: the anti-Valentine’s Day movement — a rebellion against forced-romance, consumerism, and the outdated idea that love only counts if it’s wrapped in a shiny bow on February 14th. If you’re boycotting the day out of principle, rolling your eyes at the whole spectacle, or just looking for an excuse to celebrate literally anything else, you’re not alone.
Here’s how you can reclaim February 14th in a way that actually feels good — whether that means indulging in self-love, celebrating your friends, or ignoring the day entirely (because hey, that’s an option, too).
What is the anti-Valentine’s day movement?
At its core, the anti-Valentine’s Day movement is about flipping the script on Valentine’s Day. It’s a full rejection of the idea that love must be performative, expensive, or exclusively limited to those in romantic relationships.
For some people, it’s an outright protest against the commercialism of the holiday. For others, it’s about reclaiming the day in a way that actually makes sense for them.
Now you might wonder if this is just a fringe movement of bitter exes and romance-hating cynics, but it’s not! (Although if that’s your vibe, we see you and you can sit with us).
The anti-Valentine’s Day sentiment has grown over the years, with more people opting out of traditional celebrations and embracing alternatives like:
Galentine’s Day: A now-iconic, “Parks and Recreation”-inspired tradition of celebrating the incredible women in your life instead of fixating on romance.
Breakup parties: Because sometimes, the end of a relationship deserves just as much celebration as the beginning.
Solo self-love nights: Think face masks, takeout, and binge-watching a show where nobody ends up in a dramatic love triangle.
Boycotting the holiday altogether: Because honestly, who needs a designated day to prove they love someone when it should just be a normal part of life?
The beauty of anti-Valentine’s Day is that there are no rules. You can be against the holiday without being against love itself. You can still celebrate in a way that feels real to you, without the societal pressure to buy into the pink-and-red propaganda.
5 reasons people are against Valentine’s Day
If you’ve ever stood in a drugstore aisle, staring at a wall of overpriced, glitter-covered greeting cards, wondering why this is the societal standard for expressing love — congratulations, you’ve already questioned the Valentine’s Day industry. The truth is, a lot of people aren’t buying into the hype anymore. Here’s why.
1. It overemphasizes romantic relationships (and ignores every other kind of love)
Somehow, we as a society have decided that only one type of love (romantic love) deserves a holiday, while all the other kinds (friendship, self-love, family, pets, your deep emotional bond with coffee) get overlooked. Valentine’s Day tends to push the idea that you must be in a relationship to be fulfilled, which is not only outdated but also just plain wrong.
Love exists in many forms, and it shouldn’t take a backseat just because it doesn’t come with a candlelit dinner and a box of chocolates. And spoiler alert: You can still have those with friends and by yourself.
2. It makes people feel lonely (or pressured)
If you’re single, Valentine’s Day can feel like a 24-hour reminder that society thinks you’re missing something. Even if you’re happily single and feel empowered on your own, a day that screams “couples have it better!” can make you feel less than. (Feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day? Explore these seven tips to help you cope.)
Even people in relationships can struggle with the day. There’s often an unspoken expectation that this one day must be a flawless, Instagram-worthy display of romance, or else… It can be exhausting and for some people it’s not financially viable.
3. It’s overly commercialized
If love is priceless, why does Valentine’s Day come with such a high price tag? The holiday has become a full-blown marketing machine designed to make you feel like your feelings don’t count unless they come with a major purchase.
Flowers get marked up, prix-fixe menus mysteriously cost more than just ordering à la carte, and suddenly, everyone is convinced they need a giant teddy bear, or a new diamond heart charm. If you want to celebrate love, that’s great! But you don’t need to do it the way that doesn’t feel supportive. Need some help practicing mindful spending? Explore these 10 ways to save money and stress less.
4. Forced romance doesn’t feel romantic
Anyone who has ever been on a stress-induced mission to find the “perfect” Valentine’s Day gift knows that forced romance isn’t fun. Love can exist at its own pace and shouldn’t be dictated by a date on the calendar. The best expressions of love often happen in the quiet, everyday moments: a random “thinking of you” text, a home-cooked meal after a long day, someone remembering your coffee order.
5. It reinforces outdated gender roles
Valentine’s Day has a way of subtly (or not-so-subtly) pushing old-school ideas about relationships — where men are expected to plan, spend, and impress, while women wait to be wooed. Sure, things are changing, but there’s still a heavy expectation that men should go all out while women play the role of appreciative recipient. Love is diverse, complex, and doesn’t fit into a one-size-fits-all, box.
Want to check-in on what really matters in your relationship? Here are seven core values for strong relationships.
How to celebrate anti-Valentine’s Day
So, you’ve decided to opt out of the traditional Valentine’s Day festivities, but what now? Just because you’re rejecting the holiday doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it. In fact, anti-Valentine’s Day can be even better than the original, because you get to decide what actually brings you joy.
Here are some creative, rebellious, and genuinely enjoyable ways to celebrate February 14th — without the clichés, pressures, or unnecessary spending.
1. Host an Anti-Valentine’s Day party
If Valentine’s Day is all about couples, then Anti-Valentine’s Day is all about you and your people. Gather your fellow romance skeptics and throw a party that’s the exact opposite of a candlelit dinner. Some ideas:
Breakup movie marathon – Take a vote on everyone’s favorite movie where they did not live happily ever after. The pettier, the better.
Exorcise your exes – Burn old love letters, delete those texts you’ve been holding onto, or have a dramatic reading of the worst dating app messages you’ve ever received.
Unromantic games night – Think Cards Against Humanity, drinking games, or trivia about anything but love.
2. Treat yourself (because you deserve it)
Society has somehow tricked us into thinking self-love should take a backseat to romantic love, and honestly? That’s nonsense. If couples can treat each other, then you can absolutely do something nice for yourself, no excuses necessary.
Take yourself out! Go to your favorite restaurant, grab a coffee, or book a solo spa day. You don’t need a date to enjoy good food and relaxation.
Indulge in guilt-free laziness. Stay in bed, cancel plans, binge-watch trashy TV. Do whatever makes you happy.
Make that purchase you’ve been saving up for.
💙 Learn the tools to explore Radical Self-Care with Lama Rod Owens.
3. Support local businesses instead of big corporations
One of the biggest reasons people hate Valentine’s Day? The commercialization. So, if you do decide to spend money today, why not make it count?
Skip the big-box retailers and shop small — buy from local artisans, independent bookstores, or family-owned coffee shops.
Instead of a chain restaurant dinner, grab takeout from a hidden gem in your neighborhood.
Donate to a cause you care about — because nothing says “love” like making the world a little better.
4. Write yourself a love letter
Okay, hear us out. When was the last time you actually sat down and acknowledged how amazing you are?
We spend so much time looking for love outside of ourselves that we forget to appreciate who we already are. So grab a pen (or your Notes app) and write yourself a letter. Remind yourself of your strengths, the challenges you’ve overcome, the things that make you you.
And if writing to yourself feels too weird? Flip it. Write a love letter to your younger self — tell them all the things you wish they had known. Or write one to your future self and remind them how far you’ve come. It’s corny, sure, but sometimes corny is exactly what we need.
💙 Jeff Warren can show you how to (Self) Love Bomb yourself in this meditation from our Mindfulness for Beginners series.
5. Ignore the day entirely
Look, at the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is just another date on the calendar. You are not obligated to acknowledge it at all.
If you want to go about your business like it’s a normal day, then do exactly that. No pressure, no forced celebrations, no unnecessary emotional labor. Log off social media if the sappy posts annoy you. Skip the heart-shaped chocolates if they make your eyes roll.
Just do whatever makes you feel good — and if that means pretending the day doesn’t exist, that is a completely valid choice. So go forth, embrace the freedom, and if nothing else, enjoy the 50%-off candy on February 15th.
Anti-valentine's day FAQs
What does anti-Valentine’s Day mean?
Anti-Valentine’s Day is a pushback against the forced romance, over-the-top consumerism, and unrealistic expectations that come with February 14th Valentine’s Day celebrations. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re against love — it just means you’re not into the idea that love should be celebrated in a mass-marketed, one-size-fits-all kind of way.
For some, it’s a way to reclaim the day and focus on self-care, self-love, friendships, or personal joy instead of romantic relationships. For others, it’s simply a way to avoid the chaos, financial strain, and social pressure that Valentine’s Day brings. Whether you actively celebrate in an “anti” way (think: breakup parties, Galentine’s Day, self-care nights) or just ignore the whole thing, anti-Valentine’s Day is about doing what actually makes sense for you.
Why are people anti-Valentine’s Day?
There are a lot of reasons people choose to sit out on Valentine’s Day, and it’s not just because they’re single or bitter. One of the biggest reasons? The commercialization. Valentine’s Day has turned into a massive money-making machine, where love is measured by how much you spend on flowers, fancy dinners etc.
Others reject the holiday because of the pressure it puts on people — whether you’re single and feeling left out or in a relationship and feeling like you have to pull off some grand, romantic gesture. Anti-Valentine’s Day is about stepping away from all that and celebrating (or not celebrating) in a way that actually feels good.
How do you celebrate anti-Valentine’s Day?
The best part about anti-Valentine’s Day? There are no rules. You can turn it into a full-on event — throw a party, binge-watch non-romantic movies, or treat yourself to something indulgent. You can also make it a self-care night, focusing on doing whatever makes you feel good, whether that’s taking a long bath, reading a book, or eating an entire pizza by yourself.
Some people celebrate by rejecting the commercialization of the holiday — boycotting big corporations, supporting local businesses, or donating to a cause instead of spending money on overpriced chocolates. And if you’re really committed to the “anti” part, you can just ignore the day completely — no social media, no engagement with Valentine’s Day at all, just treating it like any other day. The whole point is that you get to choose how (or if) you acknowledge it.
What are some genuine ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
If you do want to celebrate but in a way that actually feels meaningful, skip the clichés and focus on authentic connection. Instead of dropping money on generic gifts, write a heartfelt letter, cook a meal together, or plan a day that actually reflects what you and your loved one enjoy.
If you’re single, celebrate love in all its forms, spending time with friends, family, or even just yourself. Galentine’s Day (thanks, Parks and Recreation) is a great way to honor the friendships that often get overlooked this time of year. And if you’re over the whole romantic aspect but still want to have fun, use the day as an excuse to do something different — volunteer, take a day trip, or start a new personal tradition that isn’t dictated by heart-shaped marketing campaigns.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
