Boss giving you anxiety? Here's 6 tips to help you cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn effective ways to manage and cope with anxiety in the workplace caused by a stressful boss. Plus, how to mindfully communicate with your boss.
Workplace anxiety can be challenging, especially when it’s caused by interactions with a stressful boss. Understanding the signs and finding effective stress management techniques can help you maintain your mental health and professional wellbeing.
Is your workplace anxiety related to your boss?
Workplace anxiety is a form of stress that specifically relates to your professional environment and tasks. It can stem from various factors, including workload, performance pressure, and company culture. When your boss is a source of anxiety, it can add extra complexity to how you feel about work.
Recognizing the signs of boss stress
Constant worrying: Finding yourself preoccupied with thoughts about your boss's reactions to your work or behavior, even outside work hours
Avoidance behavior: Avoiding interactions with your boss, such as taking different routes through the office or hesitating to send emails or messages
Physical symptoms: Experiencing headaches, stomachaches, or a racing heart when thinking about or interacting with your boss
Reduced job satisfaction: Feeling less motivated or satisfied with your job due to the stress caused by your boss's actions or attitude
Sleep disturbances: Having trouble sleeping or experiencing nightmares related to work or your boss
Acknowledging the impact of boss stress
Prolonged exposure to stressors in the workplace, including a nerve-racking boss, can lead to burnout, depression, and anxiety disorders. Recognizing the signs of boss stress and its effects can help you seek stress management support.
It's also important to differentiate between a boss who occasionally causes stress due to the normal pressures of the job, and one whose consistent behavior significantly impacts your wellbeing. The specifics of your situation will impact the best approach to manage your workplace anxiety.
How mindfulness can help to reduce boss stress
Mindfulness can help you reduce the stress of having a challenging boss and cope with workplace anxiety with greater ease and resilience. By focusing on the here and now, mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings about meeting expectations or dealing with a difficult boss. When you feel upset or stressed by an interaction with your boss, take a short mindfulness break. Giving yourself this distance means you can choose how to respond to stressors, rather than reacting impulsively.
By using mindfulness in your daily work routine, you can maintain a sense of calm and balance throughout the day, even in interactions with a stressful boss. Regular mindfulness practice not only helps manage immediate stress but also helps build resilience over time. By consistently practicing mindfulness, you can become less susceptible to the negative impacts of stress in the workplace.
Bring different mindfulness practices into your routine, such as mindful walking, eating, or listening. This diversity can help you find joy in the present moment and build resilience against workplace stressors.
7 ways to mindfully communicate with your boss
Mindful communication can help build an environment of respect, understanding, and clarity. This can enhance your interactions with your manager to help reduce boss stress, and contribute to a more positive and productive work environment.
Mindful communication is about being present in the conversation, without letting past issues or future worries interfere.
Ground yourself: Before a meeting with your boss, ground yourself with a few deep breaths. Remind yourself of your intention to communicate clearly and constructively. Enter the conversation with an open mind, and also be ready to listen.
Cultivate connection: Begin conversations with your boss by expressing a shared goal, like improving project outcomes or reducing stressors that impact team performance. This sets a positive tone for the discussion and aligns both parties from the start.
Listen: Practice active listening by summarizing your boss's points before responding. Ensure you've understood their message accurately to help prevent misunderstandings.
Communicate clearly: When it's your turn to speak, express your thoughts and feelings clearly, concisely, and with respect. Avoid accusatory language or tones, and focus on finding good outcomes.
Lead with honesty: Try "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need, such as, "I feel overwhelmed when multiple projects are due simultaneously. I’d like to discuss prioritizing tasks to manage deadlines more effectively." This approach keeps the conversation focused on resolving issues rather than assigning blame.
Meet regularly: Establish regular check-ins with your boss to create an ongoing dialogue. Meeting regularly may also reduce the buildup of stress and misunderstandings.
Contact Human Resources: If you find that, despite your constructive, mindful strategies, your relationship with your boss doesn’t improve, consider asking your Human Resources department for support.
How to create a work environment that minimizes stress
Creating a work environment that minimizes stress can support your wellbeing and help you tackle workplace challenges with resilience and a positive mindset.
Create a physically calming workspace
A well-organized, comfortable environment can promote calmness and reduce workplace anxiety.
Declutter your desk and surrounding area to minimize distractions. Personalize your space with items that bring you joy, such as photos of loved ones, plants, or motivational quotes. Ensure your chair and desk are set up to reduce physical strain on your back, neck, and shoulders. Take steps to customize your workspace to suit your needs and comfort.
Add stress-reducing elements
Improve your workspace to help soothe stress and manage anxiety throughout the day.
Try a stress ball, a plant, or essential oils. You can also use noise-canceling headphones to block out stressful office noise, or stream some of your favorite soothing music or one of Calm’s playlists, like Classical & Strings.
Establish mental boundaries
Set clear work-life boundaries by having specific start and end times for your workday. Use techniques like mindfulness or deep breathing exercises to transition between work and personal time, helping to leave work anxiety behind.
Building positive relationships
Supportive relationships with colleagues can create a buffer against stress and provide emotional support.
Connect with colleagues, whether through chatting over coffee or collaborating on projects to build a sense of community that makes the workplace more enjoyable. You can even go for lunchtime walks outside to reap the benefits of connection with each other and with nature.
Seeking professional support
Consider therapy or counseling to manage workplace anxiety when boss stress affects your mental health.
6 techniques to manage boss-induced anxiety
With the right stress management strategies, you can create a more manageable work environment, even in the face of boss stress. Mindful coping means taking control of what you can and seeking support when needed, building a healthier, more fulfilling professional life.
1. Setting boundaries
Establish clear professional boundaries to help manage workplace anxiety. Define your limits for workload, working overtime, and communication methods.
Schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss your workload and express the need for clear boundaries. Propose realistic expectations for work hours and availability, ensuring you both agree on a balanced approach that respects your personal time and wellbeing.
💙 Dig into the concept of setting healthy Boundaries with Tamara Levitt in her Relationship With Others series.
2. Asking for support
Support can take various forms, from talking to Human Resources about your concerns to seeking guidance from a mentor within the organization. Find someone who can offer perspective, advice, or intervene if necessary.
💙 Try this Daily Calm Support meditation to help you find added strength.
3. Addressing the issues
In some cases, directly addressing the issues with your boss can lead to constructive changes. This approach requires careful planning and communication, focusing on specific concerns rather than personal issues.
Prepare for the conversation by noting down specific instances where you felt stressed or undervalued, focusing on the impact of these situations on your work. Approach the discussion with a problem-solving mindset, suggesting ways to improve communication or workload.
💙 Learn more about how Mindful Listening can impact your communication in the Mindfulness at Work series.
4. Practice detachment
To help reduce your stress levels, you can learn how to not take your boss's behavior personally. This involves understanding that their actions or words are a reflection of their own challenges or management style and not your worth as an employee.
Practice mindfulness or meditation to enhance your mindful coping abilities. Reflect on situations with your boss from a neutral perspective, focusing on facts rather than emotions.
💙 Tune into Tamara Levitt’s Non-Attachment session to help you reduce suffering as you learn to separate your work life from your personal life.
5. Stick to a self-care routine
Throughout your day, incorporate stress management activities, such as exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques to help you cope with workplace challenges and take care of your mental health.
💙 The Shut Down Routine meditation by Chibs Okereke can help you transition out of work and into your personal life with ease.
6. Consider leaving
If you've exhausted all options and your work situation hasn't improved, consider seeking new opportunities where you can work in a healthier environment.
Start exploring new roles discreetly. Update your resume, network with professionals in your field, and consider what type of work environment suits you best.
💙 Explore the collection of Mindful Leadership Meditations from Prof. Megan Reitz to learn how you can grow professionally and rediscover your passions when it comes to work.
Boss anxiety FAQs
How do I get over my boss anxiety?
Overcoming anxiety related to your boss can involve a combination of self-care, communication strategies, and changes in your work environment.
Identify workplace anxiety triggers to understand what aspects of your boss's behavior or communication style are affecting you.
Address these issues directly or find mindful coping methods.
Use stress-management techniques, such as mindfulness, regular exercise, and clear boundaries around work hours to help reduce workplace anxiety levels.
If your stress involving your boss continues, discuss your feelings with a trusted colleague, human resources, or a mental health professional.
Can a boss cause anxiety?
A boss can be a significant source of workplace anxiety. Factors such as overly critical feedback, unrealistic expectations, lack of support, and poor communication can contribute to increased stress and anxiety among employees, especially if there’s a fear of negative consequences for addressing issues directly. Recognizing the role a boss may play in your workplace anxiety can help you find ways to cope and reduce its impact on your wellbeing.
Why do I get so anxious around my boss?
Feeling anxious around your boss can come from a variety of factors, including fear of criticism, concern about meeting expectations, and previous negative interactions. Anxiety may also arise from a lack of clear communication, resulting in uncertainty about your performance or job security. You might also feel on edge if your boss has a particularly demanding or unpredictable personality. Understanding the root causes of your anxiety can help develop strategies to cope with these feelings and improve your work environment.
How do you tell your boss you're struggling with anxiety?
Communicating with your boss about struggling with anxiety requires careful planning and sensitivity. Approach the conversation with a clear idea of what you wish to communicate and what outcomes you hope to achieve. When speaking with your boss, focus on how your anxiety impacts your work and suggest practical solutions or accommodations that could help you manage better. Be honest but professional, avoiding overly personal details about your anxiety. Prepare suggestions for how you can maintain or improve your work performance, demonstrating your commitment to your role despite the challenges you're facing.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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