Coping with grief or loss: how to navigate the grieving process
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Coping with grief takes patience and time. Explore the stages and symptoms of grief. Plus, 20 ways to navigate and support yourself through the grieving process.
Dealing with grief is a journey that many of us will face at some point in our lives. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a job, or a significant life change, the feelings that come with it can be overwhelming.
Fortunately, understanding the nature of grief, its types and stages, and discovering tips and strategies to navigate this challenging process can help you process your emotions and provide comfort.
What is grief?
Grief is the emotional and psychological reaction we experience when we lose someone or something significant, like the loss of a loved one, a close friend moving away, or even the loss of a dream we’ve been trying to realize. It’s a personal journey that varies from person to person. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but understanding grief can be a step towards processing your emotions.
The experience of grief can feel confusing, because it can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment, you might feel OK, and the next moment, you might feel overwhelmed with sadness or anger. Some people can navigate grief in a quiet and reflective way, while others might express their grief in a more outward or vocal manner. Both are equally acceptable.
Understanding that grief is an individual journey, knowing to expect highs and lows, and learning skills for honoring your loved one without forgetting about them can help during this challenging time. Everyone experiences grief in one form or another. And while the journey might feel lonely at times, community from friends, family, or support groups can provide comfort as you cope with your grief.
Common symptoms of grief
Grieving is an individual experience, but there are common emotional and physical symptoms that many people experience.
Emotional symptoms:
Sadness
Anger
Anxiety
Guilt
Physical symptoms:
Changes in appetite
Body aches
Difficulty sleeping
The 4 types of grief
Grief can feel different, depending on the circumstances of the loss, and each type of grief carries its own set of challenges. Understanding the type of grief you’re experiencing can help you find the proper support and coping strategies you need to get by. It allows for a personalized approach to navigating grief, acknowledging the unique aspects of each loss and each grieving process.
1. Bereavement grief
Bereavement grief is perhaps the most recognized form. It occurs when a loved one dies. The finality of death brings a unique sorrow as we grapple with the reality that we won't see, hear, or interact with that person again.
2. Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief is what we feel when we expect a loss to occur in the near future. This type of grief often happens when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness. While the person is still present, the anticipation of their loss starts the grieving process early.
3. Ambiguous grief
Ambiguous grief happens when a loss is unclear or has no closure. Examples might include a missing person or a loved one with severe dementia who is physically present but mentally distant, or even lack of closure after a break-up.
4. Complicated grief
Complicated grief is when the grieving process is prolonged and significantly disrupts a person’s life. This can happen if the grief is very intense or if the person is struggling to accept the loss.
Are there 5 stages of grief?
Grief can sometimes follow a pattern, although it’s not the same for everyone. In 1969 author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of death and dying in her book “On Death and Dying”. Since that time many have confused these stages as the five stages of grief.
The truth is there are no real stages of grief because the process of grieving is different for everyone. However it’s possible to see some of your grief journey mirrored in the five stages that Kübler-Ross introduced the world to, and understanding them might provide insight into the range of emotions you can feel when grieving.
1. Denial
At this stage, it's hard to believe the loss is real. This happens, because your mind is trying to protect you from the initial impact of the loss through not believing it happened.
2. Anger
As the reality of the loss sets in, you can feel angry. This anger may be directed at yourself, others, or the situation that caused the loss.
3. Bargaining
Bargaining often involves having thoughts like, "if only I had done this,” or, “if I had have tried that,” then maybe the loss wouldn’t have happened. It’s a way of wrestling with the feelings of guilt, helplessness, or fear that can come up with a loss.
4. Depression
Depression is a normal stage of the grieving process, but for those who haven’t experienced depression before, it could be especially concerning. After a loss, it’s common to feel overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Just getting out of bed in the morning can be a chore. And social interactions might feel like the last thing you want to do. You might reminisce about the loss and feel the weight of your grief heavily. You might also feel relieved, especially if you’ve lost someone who has been in pain for a long time, and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. Try to accept all of your feelings without judgment.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance can be a confusing stage of the grieving process. The acceptance stage doesn’t mean you’re okay with the loss. Instead, it’s in the acceptance stage when you start to accept the reality of losing your loved one and learning how to live without them being physically present. Acceptance is the final step toward finding peace.
6. Bonus: Finding meaning
A sixth stage, finding meaning, was later introduced by David Kessler, a colleague of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. The goal is to find a new sense of purpose or a deeper understanding in the aftermath of your loss. Finding meaning is about finding a way to honor the memory of your loved one and find a place for your emotions moving forward.
How to grieve: 10 tips for coping with grief and loss
Dealing with grief and loss is a personal journey. However, there are specific steps you can take to help you navigate through this process in a supportive way.
1. Allow yourself time to grieve
Give yourself permission to experience and express your grief, regardless of what it looks like for you and no matter how long it takes.
💙 Listen to Why Grief, Why Now? by grief counselor Joanne Cacciatore, PhD, a talk to help you grieve with love and honesty.
2. Focus on self-care basics
Prioritize self-care by eating well, staying hydrated, and getting rest. If possible, take a mental health break from work or other obligations. Simple self-care can replenish your energy and benefit your grieving process. Explore practices like mindfulness, meditation or yoga to help calm your mind and manage stress.
💙 Explore 7 Days of Soothing Pain by Oren Jay Sofer — 7-day guided meditation to bring more ease and perspective to pain, discomfort, and loss.
3. Set realistic expectations
Grief is a process, and it takes time. Don’t rush yourself or let others hurry you. Take your time.
💙 Listen to Managing Expectations by Christine Hassler to discover how disappointment and grief can be a bridge to healing and transformation.
4. Celebrate your loved one’s life
Keep your loved one’s memory alive by celebrating their life. Create a memory book, host a memorial gathering, or find other meaningful ways to honor the person's memory or what you have lost.
💙 Add a soundtrack to your memorial activity and try Felt Piano for Anxiety, a playlist made to calm anxiety and ease the mind.
5. Engage in meaningful activities
Say yes to fulfilling activities that can help take your mind off upsetting thoughts, even if it’s just for a moment. You can even start a gratitude diary to help you cherish the small moments of day-to-day joy to help rewire your brain to find the good.
💙 Need a little push? Tara Brach, meditation teacher and author, gives us the permission we need to say yes to life in these two guided meditations.
6. Rely on your support system
Keep close to supportive friends and family members who understand your journey and are there for you. Consider joining a support group to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.
💙 Learn about the importance of Mindful Friendship with Jay Shetty.
7. Consider additional support
If you find it challenging to cope, consider making an appointment with a grief counselor or therapist or joining a support group.
💙 Come back home to yourself with this 12-minute session, We Were Made for Times Like These.
8. Plan for grief triggers
Identify potential triggers, such as anniversaries or holidays, and plan how you'll manage those days. Try celebrating those days by finding meaningful ways to honor your loss, whether it’s through memorial activities, creating art, or any other expression that works for you. Learn more about the grieving process, which can help you understand your feelings and experiences better.
💙 You are human and it’s okay to lean into that! Check out this short meditation on Self-Compassion with Tamara Levitt.
9. Practice patience with yourself
Grief doesn't have a set timeline. It’s important to be gentle and patient with yourself as you work through your emotions. Remind yourself that healing doesn’t come instantly. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings and allowing yourself to experience them without judgment.
💙 Need to take a moment for yourself? Follow Lama Rod Owens as he guides you through the process of Caring For Your Grief.
10. Explore other resources
Use resources like our Feelings Wheel and articles on self-care practices to help you reflect on your emotions or be more present for your emotions as you’re grieving. When you feel ready, be open to forming new relationships and embracing new experiences that life has to offer.
Coping with grief FAQs
What are 3 strategies for coping with grief?
Allow time for grieving: It’s essential to give yourself permission to grieve and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come your way.
Maintain a support system: Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people who can provide a listening ear or a comforting presence without judgment.
Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself, acknowledging that grieving is a process that requires time and patience.
How do you cope with the death of a loved one?
Coping with the death of a loved one begins by embracing the grieving process. It’s also essential to seek support from friends and family for a comforting presence, or professional counselors for tips to navigate grief. Additionally, finding meaningful ways to honor and remember your loved one, like creating a memory book or hosting a memorial gathering, can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the person you lost.
What are the 5 steps to dealing with grief?
Acknowledgment: Recognize and accept the reality of your loss.
Allow emotions: Let yourself feel whatever emotions arise, like sadness, anger, or confusion.
Seek support: Connect with supportive people who understand what you’re going through.
Find coping mechanisms: Engage in activities that help you feel better, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature.
Look forward: Over time, start to envision a way forward, finding new routines and purposes that can help you cope with your loss.
Why does grief hurt so much?
At the core of grief is an abundance of love that feels as though it can no longer be expressed. The pain from grief comes from the emotional processing of grieving, where you navigate through many complex emotions, sometimes all at once. Getting used to a new reality without the person you love is difficult, confusing, and takes time.
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