Coping with trauma: how to help yourself (or someone else

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA

Explore how a traumatic event can affect your mental health. Plus, 11 coping tips to help yourself, or someone else dealing with trauma, overcome it and find ease.

Trauma can strike anyone. Whether it’s caused by a single event or ongoing stressors, trauma can wreak havoc on your mental health, often in ways you might not immediately recognize. Trauma can change how you see the world, how you relate to others, and even how you view yourself. 

Coping with trauma isn't about forgetting or undoing what happened. It's about finding ways to live with the memories, to heal, and to grow stronger.

 

How trauma can affect your mental health

Trauma is the response to deeply distressing or disturbing events that overwhelm your ability to cope. It can make you feel helpless, diminish your sense of self, and reduce your ability to feel a full range of emotions. Traumatic events might include natural disasters, serious accidents, the loss of a loved one, acts of violence, chronic illness, domestic abuse, or high-stress environments. 

Experiencing trauma can shatter your sense of safety and normalcy, bringing a sense of vulnerability and disrupting how you see the world. It can lead to psychological effects and mental health conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. Each person's reaction to trauma is unique and deeply influenced by their personal experiences, coping mechanisms, and resilience.

 

8 symptoms of trauma

Trauma can bring a wide range of symptoms that affect people physically and emotionally. These responses are normal reactions to abnormal events. They’re signs that the body and mind are trying to cope with extraordinary stress.

Physical symptoms

  1. Racing thoughts: A relentless stream of thoughts that can interfere with concentration and sleep, making it hard to find peace or focus on daily tasks.

  2. Difficulty breathing: Panic or intense stress can activate the fight-or-flight response, leading to shortness of breath.

  3. Loss of appetite: Stress and trauma can affect the body's digestive system, leading to a reduced interest in food, which can impact overall health and energy levels.

  4. Feeling dizzy: Dizziness or lightheadedness can occur as part of the body's response to stress, making you feel unsteady and disconnected from your surroundings.

Emotional symptoms

  1. Anger: Anger can be a response to feeling violated, powerless, or unjustly harmed.

  2. Grief: Trauma often involves loss, but of any number of things, including safety, health, a loved one, or a previous way of life. Grieving any type of loss is a natural, necessary part of the healing process.

  3. Fear: Terror that a traumatic event could strike again can be overwhelming, affecting how you view the world and your place in it.

  4. Sadness: Deep and often persistent, sadness can be a reflection of the profound impact the trauma has had on your wellbeing and hope for the future.

 

How to help someone with trauma: 4 mindful ways to support others

When someone you care about is going through the aftermath of trauma, you might feel helpless or unsure about how to support them with patience, understanding, and empathy.

1. Be open to talking

Let your loved one know you're available to listen without pressure or judgment. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings and experiences. Don’t focus on offering solutions or advice — just be there to listen

2. Join them in activities they enjoy

Encourage them to pursue activities that bring them joy and relaxation. Helping your loved one find moments of normalcy can bring happiness during their healing journey.

3. Give them space when needed

Recognizing when to give space is just as important as offering support. Everyone processes trauma differently, and there may be times when your loved one prefers to be alone. Respect their need for solitude, while gently reminding them you're there when they're ready to reach out.

4. Learn about trauma

Educate yourself on trauma and the healing process to help you become a more empathetic supporter. Understanding the complexities of trauma can help you avoid common pitfalls, like minimizing someone’s feelings or pushing them to move on too quickly.

 

Coping with trauma: 7 ways to support yourself

Managing the aftermath of trauma can feel uncertain, challenging, and often very lonely. But there are ways to support yourself on this journey.

1. Prioritize self-care

Self-care is crucial for healing, so give yourself permission to put your wellbeing first. Take care of your body by eating nutritious food, getting adequate sleep, and exercising regularly, all of which can have a profound impact on your mental health. Do what brings you joy and relaxation, whether that's reading, taking a long bath, or spending time in nature.

💙 Rebuilding the bond you have with yourself is the ultimate act of self-care, and Jay Shetty’s Trust in Something meditation can help.

2. Be patient with yourself

Healing from trauma is a personal process that takes time. Some days will be better than others. Progress might feel slow, and sometimes it might feel like you're taking steps backward, but every day is a testament to your strength.

💙 Practicing the art of Self-Nurturing can help you cultivate patience and feel safe in the midst of coping with trauma.

3. Embrace your emotions

You might experience a wide range of feelings, from anger and sadness to guilt and fear. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment.

💙 Develop ease with how you’re feeling right now with the Emotions Check-In, a 2-minute guided meditation.

 

4. Ask for help

Even when it feels hard, reach out for help. Trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide comfort, advice, and new perspectives.

5. Explore creative expression

Use creative activities like writing, painting, or playing music as nonverbal outlets for expressing your feelings.

💙 If your creative side feels far away, explore how to reconnect with the artist within during the Creative Play session of the Daily Calm.

6. Spend time with loved ones

Isolation can often worsen feelings of trauma. Spending time with people who care about you can remind you that you're not alone. Talking about what you're going through or simply enjoying the company can provide a healing sense of comfort and normalcy.

💙 Explore the importance of cultivating Real Connection in your relationships during this meditation.

7. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and journaling can help you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing feelings of anxiety and stress. These practices can also help you develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts and feelings, encouraging a sense of peace and calm as you heal.

💙 Let your breath be a supportive tool during this Breathe to Calm Down practice.

 

Coping with trauma FAQs

Do I have PTSD or trauma?

It can be difficult to know whether you're experiencing PTSD or a response to trauma. While trauma refers to both the event and your emotional response to it, PTSD is a condition diagnosed when specific symptoms persist for more than a month, severely affecting your ability to function. Symptoms of PTSD can include flashbacks, severe anxiety, or uncontrollable thoughts about the traumatic event. If you're experiencing these symptoms or find that your response to a traumatic event is disrupting your life, seek help from a mental health professional.

What are the 17 symptoms of PTSD?

There are four main types of PTSD symptoms: 

  1. Intrusive thoughts

  2. Avoidance behaviors

  3. Negative changes in thinking and mood

  4. Changes in physical and emotional reactions. 

The 17 symptoms of PTSD fit into one or more of the four main categories. If you recognize these symptoms in yourself or someone you know, reach out for professional support.

  1. Flashbacks or reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating

  2. Bad dreams or frightening thoughts

  3. Avoidance of places, events, or objects that remind you of the traumatic experience

  4. Avoiding thoughts or feelings related to the traumatic event

  5. Negative thoughts about yourself or the world

  6. Unwarranted feelings, like guilt or blame

  7. Loss of interest in enjoyable activities

  8. Being easily startled or frightened

  9. Always being on guard for danger

  10. Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast

  11. Trouble sleeping

  12. Trouble concentrating

  13. Irritability, angry outbursts, or aggressive behavior

  14. Overwhelming guilt or shame

  15. Difficulty experiencing positive emotions

  16. Feeling detached or estranged from others

  17. Physical symptoms, such as headaches, gastrointestinal problems, or other pains that don’t have a clear cause

How can I tell if I'm traumatized?

Traumatized people experience a strong emotional response to a past event that felt life-threatening or extremely unsafe. Signs of trauma include persistent feelings of anxiety and fear, having nightmares or flashbacks, feeling numb or disconnected from others, or experiencing strong, unpredictable emotions. Physical symptoms, such as insomnia or being easily startled, can also appear. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward seeking help and healing.

What is CPTSD?

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) results from chronic, repeated exposure to traumatic events, often in situations where escape seems impossible — such as long-term abuse, captivity, or prolonged exposure to war zones. CPTSD shares many symptoms with PTSD but can also be marked by difficulty controlling emotions, distrust in others, feelings of emptiness or hopelessness, and chronic feelings of guilt or shame. Because of its complex nature, CPTSD requires comprehensive treatment, often involving therapy that addresses both the trauma and its extensive impact on the person's life.


Calm your mind. Change your life.

Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life. 

Images: Getty

 
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