How dialectical behavior therapy can help you manage your feelings
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Looking for a new tool to manage your emotions? Learn what dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is and how it can help you cope with your feelings.
Everyone loses their temper now and then. Whether you’re frustrated to be stuck in traffic, annoyed when your kids refuse to listen, or overwhelmed by a last-minute request at work, it’s easy to snap at someone who probably doesn’t deserve it.
But if you’re having an especially hard time regulating your emotions or dealing with the emotional fallout from an outburst, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) might be for you.
DBT is a form of talk therapy that helps people learn to manage big feelings and stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors. It’s not a cure-all, but it can serve as a practical toolkit for navigating emotional chaos with less self-blame and guilt.
Here’s everything you need to know about dialectical behavior therapy, including its uses, benefits, and challenges.
What is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?
Dialectical behavior therapy is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy, but instead of only trying to change your thoughts and behaviors, it also helps you accept your feelings and situation without judgment. (“Dialectical” means bringing together opposite ideas.)
DBT is all about balancing change and acceptance — learning to fully accept yourself while still working to improve your life.
Psychologist Marsha Linehan developed this method in the 1980s to treat people with borderline personality disorder. But since then, it’s grown into a widely used approach for treating anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and substance use. Dialectical behavior therapy is highly structured, and it teaches you skills in four main areas:
Mindfulness: Learn to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away.
Distress tolerance: Build tools to survive emotional pain without making the situation worse.
Emotion regulation: Understand your emotions and respond to them in healthier ways.
Interpersonal effectiveness: Navigate relationships with more boundaries and self-respect.
The role of mindfulness in DBT
Mindfulness—being fully aware of your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them—is the foundation of dialectical behavior therapy. In DBT, you’re taught to observe what’s happening, describe it without judgment, and then participate in the moment with intention.
For example, before hitting send on an angry text, you might learn to pause instead. The goal is to build a kind of internal buffer so you have a choice about how to respond. Over time, this can help you tune into yourself and treat your emotional life with more compassion.
What is DBT used for?
DBT can be used to help anyone who wants to build emotional resilience and improve their relationships (including with themselves). Today, DBT is used to support people dealing with a wide range of challenges, including:
Borderline personality disorder (BPD): This is where DBT shines most visibly. It can help reduce emotional volatility, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and relationship instability.
Depression and anxiety: It can be especially effective when dark feelings are constant, intense, or tied to negative self-perceptions and overwhelming stress.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): DBT can offer trauma survivors tools for grounding and distress tolerance while also addressing self-compassion and safety.
Substance use disorders: For those trying to break out of patterns of addiction, DBT can provide practical strategies for managing cravings and staying anchored to long-term goals.
Eating disorders: DBT can help with conditions such as binge eating and bulimia, where impulsivity and emotion-driven behaviors play a big role.
Suicidal thoughts and self-harming behaviors: DBT can be one of the most effective therapies for people who struggle with life-threatening emotional pain.
High-conflict relationships: This type of therapy can help people build communication tools and emotional insight to navigate tricky relationships.
8 potential risks and benefits of DBT
Like any therapeutic approach, DBT has its strengths and its growing pains. Here’s a practical look at both.
Potential benefits
1. It gives you actual tools you can use in the moment: DBT requires a hands-on, skills-based approach. You’ll learn concrete techniques to handle distress and navigate difficult conversations. These tools are designed to be used in real-time, like when your heart is racing or your brain is in panic mode.
2. It helps you tolerate emotions without reacting destructively: Through practices like distress tolerance and mindfulness, DBT can help you learn to ride out intense feelings without shutting down or numbing out.
3. It improves how you relate to other people and yourself: You may learn to communicate more clearly and ask for what you need without guilt. And because of its emphasis on acceptance, it can also help you cultivate a more compassionate inner voice.
4. It’s evidence-based and structured: DBT is typically delivered in a structured format with weekly individual therapy, skills groups, and between-session coaching. This consistency can help create accountability and make the process feel purposeful, even when it’s hard.
Potential risks
1. It’s a big commitment: DBT usually requires individual therapy and group skills training each week, and this can last for six months to a year. It can be a logistical and financial challenge for people with busy schedules or limited access to care.
2. It can stir up emotional discomfort: Typically, you examine patterns you may have spent years avoiding, which can bring up shame, fear, sadness, or anger. Without the right support, this can feel overwhelming.
3. Progress is slow and nonlinear: This therapy is about building a new relationship with your emotions, and that takes time. Some weeks, you’ll feel like a breakthrough is happening, but others, you’ll feel like you’re right back where you started.
4. Not every therapist is trained in DBT: Not all therapists who say they “use DBT techniques” can deliver the full program. If you want the entire experience, you’ll need to seek out a therapist who’s certified in DBT, which isn’t always easy, depending on where you live.
How to know if DBT is right for you
DBT can be empowering because it meets you where you are. You can do it if you’re struggling to stay afloat emotionally or if you just want better tools for dealing with stress.
That said, it isn’t for everyone. If you’re not ready to commit to regular sessions or if you’re looking for something more insight-focused and exploratory, another approach might feel like a better match.
Here are six things to consider when you’re deciding whether to try DBT.
1. You feel emotionally overwhelmed more often than not
DBT can help build your emotional regulation so you can experience strong feelings without getting swept away in them.
Here are 12 other ways to find relief when you feel overwhelmed.
2. You tend to react impulsively when stressed or upset
If, in the heat of the moment, you tend to say things you regret, self-harm, overspend, binge, or use substances to cope, this type of therapy can help you pause, reflect, and choose more grounded responses.
Read more: 18 grounding techniques to help relieve anxiety
3. You feel stuck in unhealthy patterns, even when you want to change
You might know that you need to do things differently but have a tough time following through. This is where DBT can be beneficial. It’s all about breaking change into small and doable steps so you can stay consistent with the practice.
4. You struggle with relationships
If your relationships are a source of stress or instability, DBT may be able to give you tools to improve how you communicate, assert boundaries, and manage conflict. This can help stop ghosting, exploding, or over-accommodating.
5. You’ve tried other therapies that didn’t quite work
If you feel like you’ve talked in circles in traditional therapy or you need more structure and support, DBT might be the solution. In this practice, you can learn more about why you’re struggling and get strategies to cope.
6. You want to build a healthier relationship with yourself
DBT can help you change the way you see yourself. Over time, many people in DBT say they feel more connected to who they are and less driven by pain or fear.
Read more: How to *actually* practice self-compassion? Try these 5 exercises
Dialectical behavior therapy FAQs
What is DBT used for?
Dialectical behavior therapy is used to help people manage intense emotions, reduce harmful behaviors, and improve relationships. It was originally developed for borderline personality disorder, but it’s now widely used for a range of conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders.
It’s also especially helpful for people who feel emotionally out of control or stuck in self-destructive cycles. In general, DBT can help people build a more stable internal foundation.
How is DBT different from CBT?
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and DBT share similar roots, but they’re different in focus and tone. CBT is about identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, while DBT adds a lot more focus on acceptance.
Instead of trying to “fix” every thought or emotion, DBT teaches you how to live with them and tolerate distress. It’s more focused on emotional regulation and mindfulness.
Does dialectical behavior therapy really work?
Dialectical behavior therapy is one of the most evidence-supported treatments for people dealing with chronic emotional dysregulation, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.
In fact, many people who felt like nothing else worked have found DBT to be transformative because it gives them tools to manage it. That being said, it’s not a miracle cure. DBT typically works best when you commit to the process and practice the skills consistently over time.
What is an example of dialectical behavior therapy?
DBT is about moving through your emotions with more intention. For example, if you get a text that makes your heart race from anxiety, a DBT approach to handling this would be to pause, name what you’re feeling, and then use a distress tolerance skill. It could be splashing cold water on your face or some form of distraction. By doing this, you can get through the moment without making things worse.
Later on, you might apply some interpersonal effectiveness tools to handle the situation with clarity and self-respect.
How do I find a dialectical behavior therapist?
To find a dialectical behavior therapist, use directories like Psychology Today, TherapyDen, or Inclusive Therapists, and filter for DBT under treatment modalities.
Also, many DBT programs run through mental health clinics or university counseling centers. But if you’re looking for individual therapy, make sure to ask what the therapist or program offers. Not all “DBT-informed” therapy is the same as comprehensive DBT.
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