How to deal with emotional pain: 8 ways to support yourself
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Emotional pain doesn't just affect the mind — there's an effect on the body too. Understand why we feel emotional pain and how to deal with difficult emotions.
Navigating emotional pain isn't easy. It can all feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders, particularly when it’s a symptom of a mental health condition.
Emotional pain isn’t just a mental hurdle — your body might start showing physical symptoms, too. But what causes it, and how does it affect our mental and physical states?
What is emotional pain?
At its core, emotional pain is an intense feeling of distress, anguish, or suffering that stems from non-physical sources. Unlike the ache from a stubbed toe or a headache, this type of pain originates from events or circumstances that hurt us deeply on the inside. It could arise from experiences like heartbreak, loss, trauma, or persistent feelings of inadequacy and rejection. While everyone encounters and processes emotional pain differently, its impact on our mental wellbeing is undeniable, making it essential to acknowledge and address it.
Why do we feel emotional pain?
Just like physical pain, emotional pain is a universal human experience. We all feel sadness, anxiety, and anger from time to time. Sometimes, emotional pain can linger subtly in the background. But at other times, it can feel dominant, overshadowing your day-to-day life. Anxiety, for example, can often thread itself into our routines as a constant worry about the future or a lingering fear about our circumstances. People might feel emotional pain for a variety of reasons like navigating challenging relationships, dealing with grief, or struggling with physical illness.
Symptoms of emotional pain
Emotional pain can impact our day-to-day lives. Recognizing the symptoms isn’t just critical for mental health but can also help us navigate the rough patches with understanding and self-compassion.
Social withdrawal and loneliness: Emotional pain can sometimes push us away from friends, family, or loved ones, reducing our social interactions and connections. When social events or a simple conversation with a family member feel unbearable, it might be a sign of your mental state.
Self-harm or harmful behaviors: Emotional pain can sometimes drive people towards harmful behaviors. This might mean self-harm or engaging in potentially dangerous habits. If you notice these signs, it's vital to approach them with utmost compassion. Connect with a mental health professional to get support in a safe and understanding environment.
Emotional fatigue: Mental or emotional exhaustion can sneak into our routines, gradually and persistently reducing our enthusiasm and energy.
Negative thoughts: Sometimes, emotional pain can bring a rush of negative thoughts. These thoughts can persist, obstructing our ability to function with clarity and positivity in everyday life.
Changes in appetite and weight: Emotional and mental pain can cause you to lose your appetite or trigger comfort eating.
How emotional pain affects the body
Emotional health and physical conditions are intertwined, with emotional pain potentially rippling over into our physical wellbeing. This is due to the mind-body connection.
The relationship between emotional and physical pain is complex and two-directional. Psychological pain like anxiety disorder, depression, or chronic stress can cause a cascade of physical symptoms like muscle pain, headaches, or even gastrointestinal issues.
Similarly, chronic pain or persistent physical ailments can bring emotional distress or mental health challenges. In fact, recent research shows that physical and emotional pain activate the same regions in the brain. This suggests that pain might not be physical or emotional, but a range, where both exist on the same continuum.
Here are some of the ways that emotional pain manifests in the body.
Digestive issues: Physical pain like stomach cramps, diarrhea, or nausea might be signs of stress and anxiety, or other emotional turmoil.
Sleep and emotions: Our emotional state can disrupt sleep, leading to insomnia or fragmented sleep. This can worsen emotional distress, creating a vicious cycle affecting mental and physical states.
Muscular tension: Chronic emotional pain often manifests as persistent muscle aches, tension, and postural changes.
Cardiovascular issues: In some cases, chronic emotional pain and stress may harm cardiovascular health, contributing to elevated blood pressure and other cardiovascular risks.
Skin conditions: The skin can also reflect emotional pain. Conditions like eczema, psoriasis, or other stress-induced dermatological issues may flare up during periods of distress.
How to deal with emotional pain: 8 ways to support yourself
It’s essential to find strategies for coping with emotional pain, and there are various approaches you can explore and implement in daily life.
1. Move your body
Regular exercise offers benefits for both your body and emotional health. Physical activities like running, cycling, and brisk walking can release feel-good hormones. Exercise also provides a constructive outlet for negative emotions.
💙 If you’re in immense emotional pain, it might be hard to motivate yourself to exercise. Try gentle, mindful movement instead like this Nurture Yourself practice from the Daily Move.
2. Try mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness practices can be a cornerstone in managing and understanding emotional pain. Engaging in mindfulness meditation, for instance, can allow you to observe your painful emotions without becoming entwined with them. It presents a non-judgmental space where you can observe your emotional distress without being overwhelmed.
💙 To manage anxiety-related emotional pain, our Anxiety Release Meditation can help soothe and guide you.
3. Feel your feelings
Suppressing emotions can make emotional pain worse. Identifying your underlying feelings is a mindfulness technique that might come in particularly helpful with emotional pain.
💙 Exploring feelings can be tough. If you need some guidance, check out Calm’s Feelings Journal and Feelings Wheel for starters.
4. Create a healthy lifestyle and healthy habits
A balanced lifestyle, including nutritious eating and adequate sleep, can lay the foundation for managing emotional pain more effectively. Proper nutrition fortifies the body, while deep sleep ensures you’re well-rested, so you’re equipped with the energy to navigate your feelings in a healthy and constructive manner.
💙 Sometimes emotional pain can be soothed by a good night’s rest. If you’re having trouble relaxing in the evening, try Unwind into Sleep.
5. Reach out to your support network
Whether through family members, loved ones, or professionals like a psychiatrist or therapist, establishing a network of support is important in managing emotional pain. Feeling safe to express painful feelings can relieve isolation and provide practical and emotional care during difficult times.
6. Find a creative outlet to express your emotional pain
Creative activities like writing, painting, or playing music can become outlets for emotional pain, providing a space for expression and reflection. Immersing yourself in a creative pursuit offers a diversion from emotional distress, allowing for exploring painful emotions in a safe and constructive environment.
💙 Tap into your creative potential with our Calm Masterclass with Elizabeth Gilbert.
7. Explore grounding techniques
Grounding techniques are practical tools you can use when emotional pain feels overwhelming. These strategies focus on bringing your attention back to the present moment, helping you feel more grounded in distressing emotions.
By focusing on the immediate surroundings or your own bodily sensations, you give yourself a breather from the intensity of the pain, making it easier to navigate those challenging moments.
💙 Check out the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique to bring your awareness away from emotional pain and back to your senses.
8. Seek professional advice
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that can help you understand and alter detrimental patterns of thought and behavior. In some instances, a mental health professional might recommend medications such as antidepressants to manage emotional pain, especially when it becomes debilitating or persistent.
This approach, often combined with other forms of therapy, can provide additional support in managing, and eventually healing, emotional pain.
Emotional pain FAQ
What are the 5 signs of emotional suffering?
Emotional suffering might show up in various ways. The five notable signs might include:
Withdrawal: Pulling back from usual activities or social interactions.
Agitation: Uncharacteristic irritability or impatience.
Hopelessness: Expressions of persistent sadness or a seemingly relentless negative outlook.
Poor self-care: Neglecting personal hygiene or wellbeing, sometimes forsaking your health and wellness.
Personality change: Drastic or subtle shifts in personality, demeanor, or handling of day-to-day situations.
What triggers emotional pain?
Emotional pain can be triggered by many factors, often intertwining with our personal experiences, mental health, and external influences. Common causes might involve:
Loss: Like bereavement, ending a relationship, or losing a job.
Trauma: Experiencing distressing events can leave lingering emotional pain.
Failure: Not meeting personal or external expectations in an aspect of life.
Loneliness: Feeling isolated or detached from others.
Chronic stress: Persistent stressors, whether from work, relationships, or other areas.
Understanding triggers is crucial in developing coping mechanisms and exploring therapeutic strategies like psychotherapy or mindfulness meditation.
How do I stop emotional pain?
Addressing emotional pain might require a combination of self-help strategies and professional intervention.
Acknowledge: Accepting the pain without judgment is a first step.
Express: Find healthy outlets like journaling or speaking to someone trusted.
Seek professional help: Engaging with a mental health professional can provide structured support and therapeutic interventions.
Develop coping strategies: Learning and implementing coping mechanisms that resonate with you, like mindfulness or cognitive behavioral therapy strategies.
Be patient: Remember that healing is a process and might require time and consistent effort.
Remember: the intensity of emotional pain and suitable approaches can vary from one person to another, but your feelings are valid, whatever they might be.
How do I numb my feelings?
Numbing feelings, though occasionally providing short-term relief, is rarely a sustainable or healthy strategy for managing emotional pain. Engaging in activities like consuming alcohol or using drugs might temporarily alleviate the pain but often make things worse in the long run.
Alternatively, consider adopting coping strategies that focus on managing and eventually healing emotional pain rather than suppressing it.
Mindfulness: Engage in practices that focus on being present and acknowledging emotions without judgment.
Healthy distractions: Find activities that you enjoy and that provide a respite from the emotional pain.
Share with someone: Talking out your feelings with a friend, family member, or professional can often provide relief.
Engage in soothing activities: This might include reading a book, taking a warm bath, or participating in gentle exercises like yoga.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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