The benefits of making eye contact (and 9 tips to improve)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore what eye contact signifies and how it can benefit romantic and professional relationships. Plus, 9 tips for improving your eye contact at home and at work.
It has been said that the eyes are windows to the soul — and for good reason. We can say a lot with just a look.
For example, if someone knows you well enough, you can shoot them a sideways glance from across the room and they’ll probably know what you’re thinking. You might glare if you’re angry, and an intense stare when you’re in a meeting can convey to your team that you mean business. Think about how electric it feels when your crush gazes at you or how you marvel when a baby stares into your eyes. Eye contact is powerful.
If you want to be a better communicator—or better understand the people in your life—you may want to consider whether your eye contact skills could use some work. Here’s how to do it.
What does eye contact signify?
Making eye contact with someone you don’t know or someone who intimidates you can be tough, but there are many benefits to holding eye contact with someone.
It makes you seem confident
Maintaining eye contact at work during conversations, presentations, or interviews can show you’re confident and comfortable. This can assure your colleagues that you’re knowledgeable and good at your job.
It shows you can be trusted
Looking someone in the eye can make you seem transparent and honest as if you don’t have anything to hide. If you’re in a position where you want to convey your honestly, holding relaxed eye contact might help do just that.
It communicates you’re interested
Eye contact can show you’re engaged in the conversation. This can be especially helpful if you’re getting to know someone, or are on a date with someone you’re interested in.
It shows respect
In many cultures, looking someone in the eye during a conversation is a way of showing them that you value their words, whereas avoiding eye contact might be seen as disrespectful or dismissive. Prolonged eye contact can also make others uncomfortable though, so be aware of these preferences when you speak with people from other backgrounds too.
What are the benefits of eye contact?
Making eye contact can help you build stronger, more meaningful connections in all areas of your life.
Benefits of eye contact in the workplace
At work, eye contact can help make communication and teamwork smoother.
Better communication: Making eye contact during presentations or meetings can help keep your audience focused and engaged, making it easier to get your message across.
Building trust: When you maintain eye contact with colleagues, clients, or managers, it can help them see you’re honest, transparent, and reliable. This can lead to more productive conversations and stronger working relationships.
Demonstrating confidence: Eye contact can show you’re self-assured, which can motivate the people around you. In job interviews or client meetings, confident eye contact can help you make a great impression.
Encouraging collaboration: Making interactions more personal and engaging can help you build rapport with your colleagues.
Enhancing leadership presence: Leaders who maintain good eye contact can seem more competent, which can help them gain the respect and trust of team members. Ultimately, this can lead to better productivity.
Benefits of eye contact in romantic relationships
Eye contact in romantic relationships can make you feel more connected with your partner.
Increasing intimacy: Prolonged eye contact can let you communicate emotions without words, strengthening your emotional bond.
Enhancing emotional bonding: Gazing into your partner's eyes during a heart-to-heart can help convey your feelings more effectively.
Improving non-verbal communication: Eye contact can help partners express themselves to one another, even when others are around. You might give a loving gaze for affection, or a reassuring look for comfort and support.
Strengthening trust and understanding: Consistent eye contact can show you’re present and attentive, which can help your partner feel more secure.
Helping you make up: Eye contact during arguments may help you find solutions to disagreements more easily, because you’re both fully engaged in the conversation.
10 tips to improve eye contact
If the idea of holding someone’s gaze makes you want to run the other direction, never fear. These simple strategies can help.
1. Maintain a natural gaze
Strike a balance between making eye contact and looking away occasionally. There’s no need to stare at someone.
Pro tip: During conversations, look into the other person’s eyes for a few seconds at a time, then briefly glance away. This shows you’re engaged without making the other person uncomfortable.
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2. Practice in front of a mirror
Get more comfortable by practicing at home. Use your reflection to see how others see you, and make changes to your gaze, if you want to.
Pro tip: Talk to yourself in the mirror, holding eye contact as if you’re chatting with someone else. This can help you get used to maintaining eye contact without feeling self-conscious.
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3. Use your eyes to show you’re listening
Combine eye contact with other active listening cues to show you’re fully engaged in the conversation. This might mean a verbal affirmation like, “I see,” or “That makes sense.”
Pro tip: When someone’s speaking, maintain eye contact and nod occasionally to show you’re paying attention and value what they’re saying.
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4. Look at individuals during public speaking
When you’re on stage or speaking during a meeting, make eye contact with your audience to help you create a connection and keep them engaged. This can make your message more compelling and personal.
Pro tip: As you deliver a presentation or a speech, move your gaze across the room, making brief eye contact with different people.
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5. Remember that progress can take time
If you find it hard to maintain eye contact, try short durations at first, then gradually extend the time to help you become more comfortable.
Pro tip: Make eye contact for a few seconds longer than usual, and gradually increase the time. This approach can help you feel more confident in maintaining eye contact.
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6. Try it with friends and family
Practice eye contact with people you feel comfortable around to help you develop your skills in a low-pressure environment. Friends and family can provide feedback and help you improve.
Pro tip: When you’re chatting with loved ones, focus on maintaining eye contact. Ask them whether your eye contact seemed natural and comfortable.
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7. Try role-playing exercises
Use role-playing exercises to help you practice eye contact. This way you’ll be ready for different real-life situations, such as job interviews, meetings, or social events.
Pro tip: Have a mock job interview with a friend, focusing on maintaining eye contact as you listen to their questions and answer them.
8. Use reminders if needed
If you often forget to maintain eye contact, set reminders for yourself. This could be a physical reminder such as a note in your work calendar, or even just a sticky note you might put on your bathroom mirror.
Pro tip: Put a note in your diary, or put a sticky note somewhere you’ll see it before you head out for meetings.
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9. Observe how others use eye contact
Pay attention to how the people you admire use eye contact in different settings.
Pro tip: Watch public speakers, colleagues, or friends who are good at maintaining eye contact, and try to bring their techniques to your own life.
Eye contact FAQs
How can I improve my eye contact during virtual meetings?
Improving eye contact during virtual meetings can be challenging, but here are few techniques that can help:
Position your camera at eye level: This can create the illusion of direct eye contact. When you look directly at the camera, it mimics the effect of looking into someone’s eyes, making your conversation feel more personal and engaging.
Look at the camera when speaking: Instead of looking at the images of the other people, focus on the camera when you’re speaking. This can create the impression of eye contact with your audience. Hiding the video of yourself can help too.
Use a reminder: Place a sticky note near your camera reminding you to look at it.
Minimize distractions: Close unnecessary tabs and apps to help you stay focused on the meeting and maintain better eye contact.
Practice with friends: Practice virtual meetings with friends or family to get comfortable with maintaining eye contact through the camera. This can help your virtual presence become natural and confident.
Are there any negative consequences of too much eye contact?
While maintaining eye contact is generally beneficial, too much eye contact can cause potential issues. You might be perceived as staring, which can make people feel uncomfortable. This is especially true for people with social anxiety. Balance eye contact with natural breaks to put people at ease.
What role does eye contact play in non-verbal communication?
Eye contact is important in non-verbal communication, and can play several key roles. It can convey all kinds of feelings, such as happiness, sadness, anger, and affection, and this can help others understand where you’re coming from and respond appropriately.
Maintaining eye contact can also show you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and can emphasize your words. It can also help to build rapport, and show sincerity.
How can shy or introverted individuals improve their eye contact?
If you’re shy or introverted, improving eye contact can feel challenging. But it’s achievable with practice — just take gradual steps.
Start with familiar people: Practice your eye contact with friends and family members to help build your confidence.
Use a mirror: Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror to help you become more comfortable with the sensation of holding eye contact.
Gradually increase duration: Begin with a few seconds and slowly extend the time.
Focus on one eye: Try looking at one eye of the person you’re speaking to. This can make eye contact feel less intense.
Use other non-verbal cues: Add nodding and smiling. You’ll show engagement and interest, and it can help reduce the pressure of maintaining constant eye contact.
Ask for feedback: Ask loved ones for constructive suggestions on how you can improve your eye contact.
Join a social skills group: Try a group or workshop for a supportive environment to practice and improve your eye contact skills.
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