Yes, those "hate-follows" may be affecting your mental health

Relationships

Jul 30

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Hate-following can feel like entertainment, but it’s draining. Discover why we do it, how it messes with your mood, and 7 ways to create a healthier feed.

Most people use social media to see their friends’ content, keep up with trends, and be entertained. But let’s be honest: There are probably a few people you follow who bug you too. You might gossip with your friends about their captions or roll your eyes at their photos or videos — and yet, you can’t bring yourself to unfollow them.

This type of internet scrolling has a name—hate-following—and it’s more common than you might think.

While hate-following may feel satisfying or even cathartic, it can also take a major toll on your mental health. Not only can it put you in a bad mood, over time, it can encourage comparison and become a regular source of stress.

So, why do people hate-follow, and are there ways to break the habit? Here’s what you need to know about hate-following, and a few ways to take back control of your feed.

What is hate-following?

Hate-following is exactly what it sounds like: It’s following someone on social media because something about their content gets under your skin. Maybe you don’t like what they post or talk about, and yet for some reason, you keep watching.

This type of following can be subtle. You might say it’s just because you’re “keeping tabs” on a former coworker or friend, but if you feel annoyed, inferior, outraged, or smug every time they show up, it’s most likely more than passive scrolling.

At first, it can seem harmless, but over time, it can become a serious mental drain. Regularly seeing content that bothers you can affect your emotional baseline, especially if it’s constant.

4 reasons people hate-follow

People tend to hate-follow because of the feelings it stirs up in them. It can also serve as a coping mechanism to process boredom, envy, or even disconnection.

Here are four of the most common reasons why people usually hate-follow:

1. Comparison culture makes it hard to look away: When everyone’s best moments are on display, it’s natural to compare. By trying to spot flaws in someone else’s life, you might be trying to level the playing field in your mind. But the more you watch, the more it can stir up your own insecurities.

2. Curiosity turns into compulsion: Being curious about an ex or a high school classmate can turn into a compulsion. It can become a habit that quickly becomes an itch you can’t stop scratching — even if it hurts.

3. Righteous anger feels powerful: Sometimes hate-following comes from wanting to stay “in the know” about people whose behavior frustrates you. But even if your anger feels justified, repeated exposure can leave you feeling more depleted than empowered.

4. The algorithm keeps pulling you back in: If you engage with someone, the platform tends to keep showing you that person. Soon, your feed can become a loop of frustration that might feel impossible to exit.

Is hate-following unhealthy?

Sometimes hate-following is harmless — sort of like digital rubbernecking. With that said, if you’re regularly engaging with content that leaves you feeling anxious or drained, you may want to examine why you’re doing it.

Research shows that social comparison and passive scrolling can increase stress and symptoms of depression, and while hate-following hasn’t been studied in isolation, it often involves both. You might find yourself feeling insecure, spiraling, or even judging yourself for caring so much, and whether you realize it or not, that content might be shaping how you feel about yourself.

Plus, the more time and energy you spend dissecting their choices, the less mental space you have for what actually matters to you.

How to stop hate-following: 7 tips to shift the habit

Hate-following may be a habit, but the good news is, you don’t have to quit social media or unfollow everyone who bothers you to feel better. Small shifts can make a big difference in your mental health, and here are several you can try.

1. Audit your feed with curiosity

Take a few minutes to scroll through your feed and notice how each account makes you feel. Naming your emotional responses can help you decide which ones are quietly draining you.

Try this: Bookmark posts from creators who leave you feeling calm, inspired, or grounded. When you need a scroll break, start there.

2. Mute first, unfollow later

Most platforms let you mute people so you won’t see their posts or stories. This is a great way to see how you feel without their voice in your head.

Try this: Mute them for one week and pay attention to how your mood and self-talk shifts. If you feel clearer, that’s a valuable insight.

3. Interrupt the urge with a question

When you feel the impulse to check someone’s feed, pause and ask yourself what you’re hoping to feel. What are you more likely to feel? What else could you do to meet that same need?

Sometimes the urge to hate-follow is rooted in boredom, self-doubt, or the need for a distraction. Understanding what’s driving you can help you find a healthier outlet.

💙 Take stock of your thoughts by listening to the Check In With Yourself session with Mel Mah.

4. Balance the algorithm with nourishing content

Follow people, brands, or accounts that make you feel happy or seen without the emotional hangover.

Diversify your feed with creators from different backgrounds and perspectives. Your brain deserves variety.

5. Shift the focus back to yourself

If you keep returning to the same person’s page thinking you’re “analyzing” them—their choices, behavior, brand—ask yourself what they’re mirroring back to you.

It’s easy to fixate on people who represent something unresolved in your own life. Maybe they remind you of a dream you didn’t pursue, a fear you haven’t faced, or a version of yourself that you’ve outgrown.

6. Be conscious of your scroll time

It can be easy to scroll mindlessly, which can make you feel pretty terrible. To use social media more intentionally, put a limit on it.

Try this: Set a timer for 10 minutes and scroll with a purpose, like finding one post that makes you smile. Then step away and see how it feels.

💙 Learn how to create a more balanced relationship with your device by listening to Build Healthier Phone Habits with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar.

7. Talk about it

Hate-following may feel shameful, but talking about it—even just to yourself—can help.

Try this: Say out loud, “I hate-follow this person because _______.” Then ask, “Is it helping me? Is it hurting me? Is it both?” Sometimes saying the quiet part out loud makes it easier to shift the habit. You may consider opening up to a friend or therapist about it, too.

Hate follow FAQs

Why do I hate-follow someone I don’t even know?

You might hate-follow because someone’s lifestyle or opinions are so different from yours that you can’t help but watch. This type of reaction can be hard to ignore, especially if the other person’s presence seems to highlight something you want or reject in yourself.

Unfortunately, social media is designed to amplify these dynamics. We’re wired to monitor social hierarchies and behaviors, and social media just turns the volume way up.

How can hate-following affect my mental health?

Repeated exposure to content that frustrates or triggers you can shape your mood and self-talk. Over time, hate-following can fuel cycles of comparison, judgment, and emotional fatigue.

At first, you might not notice the effects, but chronic exposure to negative feelings can subtly erode your wellbeing.

Does everyone hate-follow?

Not everyone hate-follows, but it’s a lot more common than people admit. After all, it can feel embarrassing or even petty. But the truth is, it’s a side effect of platforms designed to maximize attention and not wellbeing.

The important thing is to recognize when it becomes a habit that feels toxic or just unnecessarily heavy. This is a sign that you might want to reevaluate what you’re consuming.

Can hate-following be harmless?

Hate-following can be harmless. If it’s just occasional, doesn’t interfere with your mood, and you’re aware of the emotional boundary between you and the person you’re watching, it might just be a quirky digital habit. But the line between harmless curiosity and toxic obsession can be thin.

In general, what matters most is how it affects you. If you leave another person’s page feeling depleted or irritated, it’s worth considering whether that content really belongs in your life.

How do I stop hate-following someone I’m obsessed with?

A good way to stop hate-following is to start small. Try muting their posts or stories and then observe how it feels. After that, consider using that free space to check in with yourself and ask what they represent for you, or what emotions they stir up.

Sometimes we fixate on people because they symbolize something unresolved in our own lives. You don’t need to shame yourself for that.

Calm your mind. Change your life.

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Calm Editorial Team