Wondering how to be more authentic? These 10 tips can help
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
So you want to stay true to yourself but don't really know where to start? We got you. These 10 mindful tips can help you learn how to be more authentic in your daily life.
Any way you slice it, we live in a world filled with photo filters, picture-perfect social media feeds, and the societal pressure to fit into cookie-cutter ideals. With so much around us feeling curated and cultivated, it can often feel like being our authentic selves is rare and frustratingly difficult.
Even if you just use social media to keep up with friends, you’re still likely to be bombarded with content from influencers or brands showing you airbrushed, happy-go-lucky perfection. So, how do you wade through all the noise and still come out on the other side being yourself?
The truth is that authenticity—living true to yourself, your values, and your unique quirks—is a powerful antidote to a largely superficial culture. And being real can bring deeper connections, stronger self-esteem, and a sense of freedom that no filtered image or trendy facade can offer.
Let's explore authenticity, and find practical, mindful ways to help you feel at home in your own life.
What does it mean to be authentic?
Simply put, authenticity means being genuine, honest, and aligned with your own unique core values. It’s about letting go of the need to impress others or meet unrealistic expectations. Authentic people are comfortable with who they are, even when they face challenges or criticism.
We know that it’s not always easy, but being more authentic can be one of the most rewarding changes you can make in your life.
Being authentic doesn’t come without its challenges. It’s normal to occasionally find yourself worrying about what others think. But as you relax into being the real you, you may form closer connections with people who love you for who you are, flaws, faults and all.
And authenticity doesn’t mean you have to share everything about yourself or your life with everyone, or aggressively defend your views and ideas. Instead, it may mean keeping some parts private, or speaking your truth kindly as you learn to avoid pretending to be someone you’re not.
7 benefits of living authentically
When you let go of the pressure to be someone you’re not, you can open yourself up to a deeper sense of connection, confidence, and happiness in your life. Simply put, living life as you is easier! Here are some key ways authenticity can benefit your life:
Stronger relationships: When you’re authentic, you attract people who value the real you. This leads to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Improved mental health: Living authentically reduces anxiety and stress because you’re not constantly trying to fit into a mold.
Greater confidence: Knowing and embracing who you are helps you feel more secure in your choices.
Increased happiness: Authenticity leads to a more fulfilling life because your actions align with your values.
More resilience: Being authentic helps you handle challenges with greater strength, as you’re grounded in your true self.
Better decision-making: When you’re in tune with your authentic self, making decisions becomes clearer. You know what matters most to you, so you’re less likely to be swayed by outside pressures.
Freedom to grow: Authenticity means being honest with where you are now and allowing yourself to grow. By staying true to yourself, you create space to explore new opportunities and develop in ways that feel right for you, not because of external expectations.
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How to become more authentic: 10 mindful ways to be true to yourself
Becoming more authentic doesn’t mean you need to reinvent yourself overnight. It’s a process of uncovering who you are, and sometimes that can take time. The trick is making small, intentional changes to help you feel more and more like your true self. Here are some practical, mindful steps you can take to embrace your authenticity:
1. Discover or reconnect with your unique core values
Your values are the foundation of who you are. If you’re not sure how you feel about them, spend time thinking about what truly matters to you — maybe it’s kindness, creativity, honesty, family, or personal growth?
Ask yourself, “What do I stand for? What makes me feel proud of myself?” You might even consider writing down the answers and using them as a guide for your decisions. When your actions reflect your values, you’re living authentically.
2. Think about how different situations make you feel
Set aside time regularly to check in with yourself. You may ponder questions like, “Am I being true to myself in this situation?” or, “How do I really feel about this decision?” Journaling can be a great way to organize your thoughts and uncover patterns in your behavior, so pick up a pen and jot down your thoughts.
This kind of self-reflection can help you stay aware of when you’re in alignment with your true values, and when you might be straying. Take a look at these 10 questions to help you check in with yourself to get started.
3. Embrace mindfulness in everyday life
Mindfulness helps you connect with the present moment and your inner self, so try adding simple practices like meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walks into your daily routine.
These moments of stillness can help you notice when you’re being true to yourself and when you’re acting out of fear or pressure to conform.
💙 If practicing mindfulness is new to you, explore our Mindfulness for Beginners series with Jeff Warren.
4. Set healthy boundaries with others
Being authentic often requires saying no to things that don’t align with your values. This can feel uncomfortable at first—especially if you’re used to people-pleasing—but it’s an essential part of staying true to yourself.
Start small with your boundaries, maybe you decline an invitation or task that doesn’t feel right for you, and see how it feels. As you get used to it, setting boundaries will usually become more natural. Need an assist? Here are eight tips to help you set boundaries with the people in your life.
5. Let go of comparisons with others
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, especially in the social media-driven world most of us live in. But authenticity isn’t about measuring up to someone else’s life, it’s about embracing your own.
Remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique and your value isn’t defined by how you stack up against other people, whether you know them IRL or just from your social feed.
6. Be honest, but be kind
Living authentically means being honest about your thoughts and feelings, but you don’t need to be harsh or blunt. Speak your truth with kindness and empathy when you disagree with someone.
Instead of saying, “That’s a bad idea,” you might say, “This idea isn't exactly right for me, but thanks for your perspective — it helped me figure things out.” When you’re gentle, firm and positive, you can protect your authentic self without hurting anyone else or damaging your relationships.
7. Surround yourself with supportive people
It’s important to have a balance of people in your life who align with your beliefs and support you, but also those who can challenge you in healthy ways.
The people around you can have a big impact on how authentic you feel, so try to spend time with those who accept and encourage you to be yourself. Let go of relationships that make you feel like you have to hide parts of who you are, and instead concentrate on the ones that bring you joy and support. Building a fulfilling friendship circle takes time, but it’s worth giving it time to develop.
8. Accept imperfections
You might be surprised to know that part of living authentically is embracing your flaws and mistakes. These imperfections are part of what makes you human.
So instead of striving for perfection, focus on showing up as your best self in the moment, imperfections and all (here are seven tips to help). You can learn from any mistakes and grow into your potential. Some people call it failing up!
💙 Listen to Enhancing Self-Acceptance with Tamara Levitt to accept yourself, just as you are.
9. Celebrate your strengths
Take time to recognize what you’re good at and what makes you unique. Maybe you’re a great listener, a creative thinker, a good cook, an excellent artist, or someone who always lifts others up. Acknowledging your strengths you feel more confident in your sense of yourself. And it can help you to focus on the things you do well, during challenging times when your self-esteem takes a dive.
10. Get a little support, if you need it
Reading this, you might feel like living authentically is too overwhelming, or you might be unsure how to start. That’s okay, it can be a big change for many people and it’s also not something that needs to happen overnight.
Talk to a therapist or counselor, whose guidance in exploring your identity, understanding your values, and overcoming any barriers to authenticity can be reassuring and incredibly helpful.
How to be authentic FAQs
What are the signs that someone is living authentically?
Living authentically shows up in many small but meaningful ways. Here are a few characteristics of an authentic person you can look out for:
Consistency in words, actions, and values
No need to put on a mask just to try to fit in
Easy to express thoughts and emotions, even if they don’t align with what others expect
Can be honest and considerate, speaking truth with kindness and being open to vulnerability
Not chasing approval or validation
How do I develop authenticity?
Developing authenticity starts with getting to know yourself better. Here’s how you can do it:
Spend time reflecting on your core values — the things that are most important to you in life. These might include qualities like honesty, creativity, or compassion.
Once you’re clear on your values, practice aligning your actions and decisions with them. It’s okay if this feels difficult at first. It takes time to unlearn habits like people-pleasing or self-doubt (these 12 tips can also help).
Focus on mindfulness and self-awareness by paying attention to how you feel in different situations. Are there times when you feel like you’re not being true to yourself? Explore what’s behind those feelings to get a sense of what’s going on inside.
Practice being honest about your needs and feelings, both with yourself and with others. This doesn’t mean you need to share everything all at once — just take small steps toward honesty.
Finally, give yourself grace. Developing authenticity isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress and being willing to learn and grow along the way.
Can mindfulness really help improve self-awareness and authenticity?
When you practice mindfulness, you train yourself to slow down and notice what’s happening in the present moment without judging yourself. This might include tuning in to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. By becoming more aware of these inner experiences, you can develop your self-awareness to better understand what’s driving your actions and whether they align with your true self.
Mindfulness might help you notice when you’re saying “yes” to something out of guilt or fear, rather than because it feels right for you. Once you’re aware of this, you can pause for a moment to think about what you’d truly like to do, and make a choice that feels more authentic. With time, this mindful approach helps you recognize patterns, get clear on your values, and respond to life in ways that align with who you really are.
Mindfulness practices like meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few deep breaths throughout the day can help you connect more deeply with yourself so you can live with greater intention and honesty. If you want to explore more, check out these 10 mindfulness exercises you can include in your daily routine.
What role does self-compassion play in becoming more authentic?
Self-compassion is essential for authenticity because it allows you to embrace your whole self, flaws and all. When you’re kind to yourself, you’re more likely to accept your true feelings, needs, and imperfections without judging yourself harshly. This makes it easier to stop doing things just because of what others seem to want you to be.
Say you’re struggling with self-doubt, practicing self-compassion might mean you remind yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing my best, and I’ll figure it out.” This kindness helps you move forward without beating yourself up or feeling like you need to prove your worth.
Self-compassion also encourages you to take risks in showing up authentically. You know that even if you make a mistake or face criticism, you’ll treat yourself with understanding rather than harshness. When you give yourself a safe space for growth it can help you stay connected to your true self, even during challenging moments.
How do I start identifying my core values?
Identifying your core values can feel overwhelming at first, but it’s really about paying attention to what makes you feel fulfilled and grounded. Here are a few tips to help:
Start by thinking about moments in your life when you felt truly happy, proud, or at peace. What was happening in those moments? What qualities or principles were at play? If you felt proud of helping a friend in need, compassion or kindness might be among your core values.
Look at situations that made you feel uncomfortable or upset. Often, these experiences reveal when your values were being challenged. If you felt frustrated because someone wasn’t being honest with you, it might point to honesty as a key value for you.
Once you have a list of potential values, reflect on which ones feel most meaningful and central to your life. Narrow it down to five or six that resonate deeply with you.
Use your core values to guide your decisions and help you live more authentically.
Revisit your values every now and then, as they can evolve over time and as your life changes.
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