How to deal with FOMO? 6 tips to help you overcome the anxiety
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn what FOMO means, what causes it, and some examples of this common fear. Plus, how to deal with FOMO and stop its negative effects on your life.
The popularity and widespread use of technology and social media means we can constantly see the highlights of other people’s lives. Bearing witness to other peoples’ good news (or perceived good news) as well as major life milestones can make it easy to feel like we're falling behind. Whether you’re seeing the adventures of friends, the celebrations of acquaintances, or the filtered snapshots of social media personalities and influencers, it can cause a nagging feeling that everyone else is having more fun, and experiencing life, better than you.
This feeling is known as FOMO, or the fear of missing out. It's a common struggle in a society that's always online, always sharing on social media, and, often, always comparing themselves to others. But there's good news, and it’s that FOMO doesn't have to control your life. With understanding and practical strategies, you can overcome this anxiety and find peace and contentment within your life and own experiences.
What does FOMO mean?
FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” It’s the anxious feeling you get when you think others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing more exciting things than you are. FOMO can show up in many ways—it might manifest in feeling upset when you see photos of a party you weren't invited to, or it could be a sense of regret when you choose a quiet night in but then see your friends posting about their night out. FOMO is the feeling of dissatisfaction and longing for experiences that, in reality, might not actually be as perfect as they seem online.
What are the effects of FOMO?
FOMO isn't just a feeling of being left out. It can bring a mix of complex emotions:
Anxiety and stress: This is the worry that you're not doing enough, you’re not present enough, or you’re simply missing out. It can feel like a constant pressure to keep up—to be everywhere and do everything.
Low self-esteem: When you're constantly comparing your everyday life to the highlight reels of others, it's easy to start feeling like your life isn’t measuring up. Feeling this way can lead to a decrease in how you see and value yourself.
Social pressure: FOMO can push you to attend events or engage in activities you're not genuinely interested in just to avoid the feeling of missing out.
Unhappiness: When you’re caught up in what you're missing out on, it can rob you of the joy in what you're actually experiencing. Focusing on what you don’t have rather than embracing the present can perpetuate feelings of unhappiness.
The role of social media in causing FOMO
Social media platforms are filled with photos, stories, and updates from friends, family, celebrities, and influencers. While it's great for staying connected, it can present a skewed view of reality. People tend to share their happiest moments, greatest achievements, and most exhilarating experiences. This one-sided highlight reel can create a sense that everyone else is living a more exciting, fulfilling life than you.
Having an awareness of why social media perpetuates FOMO can be a powerful tool in managing and reducing FOMO in your life. It can help you realize that what you see online isn’t always an accurate reflection of reality.
Comparison: When you see these idealized snapshots of other people's lives, it's natural to compare them to your own. Comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy and FOMO.
Instant gratification: Social media often rewards the most glamorous, exciting posts with likes and comments. Once people get a boost of dopamine with the reinforcement of likes on their posts, it can lead to a cycle of seeking that attention. They begin to post more and more similar posts, which can further amplify the sense of FOMO for others, and even for yourself if the likes and attention begin to wane.
Hyperconnectivity: Being constantly connected means you're perpetually aware of what others are doing. Hyperconnectivity can make it feel impossible to escape the cycle of comparison and FOMO.
6 tips for how to stop FOMO
Overcoming FOMO is about changing your mindset and the way you interact with the world. Sometimes, FOMO will be heightened when we’re going through a challenging period in our lives and are feeling more sensitive. Other times, we might not even know why we’re feeling FOMO. Regardless of why you might be experiencing FOMO, becoming aware of how it’s affecting you will help protect your emotional wellbeing.
By applying these tips, you can start to overcome the grip that FOMO has on your life. It's about finding contentment in your own experiences and understanding that your life doesn't have to look like anyone else's to be meaningful and fulfilling.
1. Get off social media (at least for a while)
Log off of social media for a few hours, a day, a week, or even a month (or forever, if that sounds good to you). Social media can be a major source of FOMO, so taking a break can significantly reduce those feelings. Use this time to reconnect with yourself and the physical world around you, away from the constant stream of online updates and notifications.
💙 It’s no secret that social media and our phones can be very addictive. Learn actionable steps to manage these addictions with the Social Media & Screen Addiction masterclass.
2. Practice mindfulness and meditation
Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools for keeping your focus on the present. By practicing these regularly, you can train your mind not to wander off into thoughts of what others are doing, ultimately helping to reduce your feelings of FOMO.
💙 Next time you find your mind starting to wander, try this 2-minute Balanced and Present meditation to bring you back to the present moment.
3. Start a gratitude practice
Keeping a gratitude journal, or simply taking time each day to think about what you're thankful for, can shift your focus. Instead of dwelling on what you're missing, you start to realize what you have. This practice can boost your mood and help you appreciate your own life more.
💙 Dive into Tamara Levitt’s 7 Days of Gratitude for guidance on how to cultivate a gratitude practice that works for you.
4. Set realistic expectations for yourself
Be kind to yourself. It's important to remember that nobody's life is perfect, no matter how it appears on social media. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your life, and recognize that it's okay not to have everything.
💙 Connect with yourself and discover what it is you actually want by Scheduling Me-tings, which are appointments with yourself to aid in self-discovery and connection.
5. Connect with others in real life
Make real connections by spending time with friends and family in person rather than just interacting online. These genuine connections can make you feel more fulfilled and less worried about missing out on something else.
💙 If you need a little nudge, listen to The Daily Calm’s Real Connection to inspire you to connect with others.
6. Reflect on your achievements and joys
Celebrate your victories. Take time to reflect on your own achievements and the things that bring you joy. This helps to put things into perspective and reduces the impact of FOMO on your life.
💙 Explore The Power of Reflection, and how to get the most out of what you’re taking in, during the Daily Jay.
How to deal with FOMO FAQs
How do you break out of FOMO?
To break out of FOMO, start by recognizing when you're feeling it. Ask yourself, "Am I really missing out, or does it just seem that way?" Then, focus on what genuinely makes you happy and fulfilled, not on what others are doing. Your life is about your own unique experiences and joys, not about keeping up with others.
What is the main cause of FOMO?
The main cause of FOMO is often comparison—the feeling that other people are having better, more exciting experiences than you. This feeling is usually heightened by social media, where people tend to share only the best parts of their lives. It can make it seem like others are always having a great time rather than showing a realistic, balanced view.
Why does FOMO bother me so much?
FOMO bothers many people because it can tap into our natural desire to be part of things and our fear of being left out. It's normal to want to feel included and to have exciting experiences, but when these desires become a source of constant worry or unhappiness, it turns into FOMO.
How do you deal with FOMO at work?
To deal with FOMO at work, try to focus on your own goals and achievements. Everyone's career path is different. Celebrate your successes and learn from your experiences. Building genuine connections with your colleagues can also help you feel more included and less worried about missing out.
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