How to focus on yourself more and prioritize your own needs
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore how to focus on yourself (for once) and the benefits of prioritizing yourself. Plus, 18 ways to work on yourself by focusing on self-care.
In the hustle of every day, it can be easy to lose sight of the most important person in your life—you. Whether you're constantly caught up in the needs of others or just struggling to find a moment for yourself, it's important to take a step back and focus on your own wellbeing.
What it means to focus on yourself
Focusing on yourself means establishing a relationship with yourself that’s as caring and attentive as the relationships you have with others. It's giving yourself permission to put your needs first, and it goes beyond occasional pampering or relaxation.
By focusing on yourself, you acknowledge and address your mental, emotional, and physical needs consistently. You make a commitment to understand what makes you thrive and what you need to live your best life. It’s an essential aspect of self-care.
The benefits of prioritizing yourself for your wellbeing
When you start prioritizing yourself, you're investing in your long-term wellbeing. Focusing on yourself is not selfish, it’s a necessary step toward a happier, healthier life.
1. Enhanced self-esteem and confidence
By focusing on your own needs and accomplishments, you naturally build a stronger sense of self-worth. This doesn’t mean you become arrogant. Instead, you develop a healthy respect for yourself so you can recognize your strengths, celebrate your successes, and understand your value.
2. Improved quality of life
When you're less stressed and more in tune with your needs, your overall quality of life improves. Stress, anxiety, and exhaustion can take a toll on both your mental and physical health, so by prioritizing yourself, you’re likely to find that you're happier, more relaxed, and able to enjoy life fully.
3. Making goal achievement easier
Knowing what you want and prioritizing your goals makes them much easier to achieve. Whether it's a career aspiration, a personal project, or a fitness goal, focusing on yourself provides the clarity and motivation needed to reach these milestones.
4. Better decision-making skills
With a clearer understanding of your own values and priorities, you can make decisions more confidently. It means you're more likely to make choices that align with your true self and what's important to you.
5. Staying present and mindful
By focusing on your needs and wellbeing, you’re more inclined to live in the moment. This presence of mind allows you to appreciate the here and now. When you reduce worries about the past or future, you can enjoy the present and embrace life as it happens.
6. Improved relationships
When you take care of yourself, your relationships with others can improve. You're likely to engage in positive interactions when you feel good about yourself. Additionally, setting boundaries and respecting your own needs teaches others to treat you with the same respect.
7. Increased resilience
Prioritizing yourself builds resilience, making you better equipped to handle life's challenges. When you're in a good place mentally and physically, you're stronger in the face of adversity.
8. Enhanced creativity and productivity
Taking time for self-care and reflection often leads to increased creativity and productivity. If your mind’s clear and your body’s rested, you can think more creatively and work more efficiently.
18 practical ways to prioritize your own needs
Try incorporating these simple, impactful steps into your daily life to keep the focus on yourself and create a more centered, fulfilling life.
1. Embrace practical self-care
Make self-care a regular part of your day. This could be as simple as taking a warm bath, reading a book, or practicing yoga. Begin by scheduling a short self-care activity into your routine.
💙 Begin exploring what self-care tools can support you in developing a nourishing practice in the Radical Self-Care series.
2. Nourish your body
Pay attention to your diet, sleep, and exercise. Start by choosing one healthy meal a day or setting a consistent bedtime to ensure better sleep.
💙 Prioritize rest and ease into restorative sleep with help from a soothing Sleep Story narrated by Matthew McConaughey.
3. Set clear boundaries
Learn to say no to requests that overextend your energy or time. Practice this by turning down a non-essential task that feels more like an obligation than a joy.
💙 Learn how to get comfortable having clear Boundaries during the Daily Calm.
4. Listen actively to yourself
Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Try starting each day with a few minutes of quiet time to check in with yourself.
💙 Take less than five minutes to Pause To Check In with yourself each morning. Slowing down can help you get present and tune in to what you need.
5. Write about your feelings and emotions
Use journaling to express and understand your feelings. Begin by writing a few lines each day about how you felt that day and why.
💙 Explore how to Clarify Your Feelings Through Writing with Dr. Julie.
6. Perform mindful body scans
Regularly check in with your body to understand how it’s feeling. You can do this by taking a quiet moment to scan your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head, noticing any tension or discomfort.
💙 Tune into any physical sensations you might be experiencing within your body and deepen your awareness with a 10-minute Body Scan.
7. Carve out personal time
Ensure you have moments in the day just for you. Start with a short period of time (around 15 minutes) that’s dedicated to doing something you enjoy.
💙 Have trouble finding time for yourself? Schedule Me-tings and build this activity into your calendar just like the rest of your activities.
8. Avoid comparisons
Focus on your own journey instead of comparing it to others’. Each time you find yourself comparing, redirect your thoughts and notice one thing you appreciate about your own life.
💙 Practice Reframing Difficult Thoughts to help you cultivate feelings of positivity and shift your focus.
9. Cultivate self-kindness
Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. When you're hard on yourself, pause and reframe your thoughts to be more compassionate.
💙 Learn how to Shift Your Self-Talk with help from Jay Shetty.
10. Engage in enjoyable activities
Spend time doing things you love. Identify a hobby or activity you enjoy and dedicate time each week to it.
💙 Explore Creative Play, and how you can reconnect to the activities that light you up.
11. Practice mindfulness
Engage in activities that encourage mindfulness, like meditation or slow walks in nature. Start with a few minutes of meditation each day using an app or guided audio.
💙 Getting outside and practicing mindfulness by Taking a Mindful Walk can help you become more present, tune into your surroundings, and appreciate the beauty around you.
12. Explore your interests
Dedicate time to learning something new or exploring a long-held interest. Begin by researching a topic you’re curious about for a few minutes each day.
💙 Learn about the importance of being curious and how to Cultivate Curiosity with Jay Shetty. By exploring what interests you, you can find more ways to bring joy into your life.
13. Seek support when needed
Don’t hesitate to ask for help or seek professional advice. Start by confiding in a trusted friend or considering a counseling session if you’re facing challenges.
14. Celebrate your achievements
Recognize and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Start a success journal, and note even small victories each week.
💙 Find something to be grateful for today, and every day that follows, with help from Jay Shetty’s Celebrate the Now Daily Jay episode.
15. Reflect regularly
Spend time reflecting on your experiences and growth. Try doing a weekly review of what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown.
16. Prioritize rest
Understand the importance of rest and don’t feel guilty for taking breaks. Begin by scheduling short breaks throughout your day to recharge.
💙 Listening to calming music can support your mind in resetting. Listen to the Take a Midday Relaxation Break playlist to help you rest and rejuvenate.
17. Disconnect digitally
Take breaks from digital devices to reduce stress and improve focus. Start with a digital-free period each day, like during meals or before bed.
18. Explore creativity
Creative activities can be a great way to express yourself. Try a simple creative task like doodling, crafting, or cooking a new recipe.
💙 Join Tamara Levitt as she guides you through exploring Creativity by slowing down and tuning into your mind.
How to focus on yourself FAQs
Why do I struggle to focus on myself?
Struggling to focus on yourself is quite common, especially in a culture that often values productivity and caring for others above personal wellbeing. Many people feel guilty for taking time for themselves or are unsure about where to start with self-care. Remember that this is a common experience, not a reflection of personal failure. Start by setting small, achievable goals for self-care and gradually build up your self-focus routine.
How can I realign and refocus my life?
Realigning and refocusing your life starts with understanding what's truly important to you. Reflect on your values, passions, and what brings you joy. Set aside time for self-reflection, perhaps through journaling or meditation. Once you have a clearer idea of your priorities, set realistic goals and create a plan to achieve them. Be patient with yourself during this process—realignment is a journey, not a race.
What can I do to improve my self-perception and think more positively about myself?
To improve your self-perception and cultivate positive thoughts about yourself, practice self-compassion and challenge negative beliefs.
Speak to yourself with kindness, as you would to a friend.
Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small.
Engage in positive affirmations and mindfulness practices to help shift your mindset.
Changing self-perception takes time and consistency, so be patient and persistent with your efforts.
How do I regain mental focus when feeling overwhelmed?
Regaining mental focus when you’re feeling overwhelmed involves taking steps to reduce stress and clear your mind.
Begin by taking short breaks throughout the day to relax and decompress. Use techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or take a brief walk.
Manage your workload by setting realistic expectations and prioritizing tasks—and ask for help or delegate tasks when possible.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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