How to be yourself: 14 ways to stay true to you
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore what it means to be yourself, why it's important, and how to do it. Plus, how to learn more about yourself and be true to yourself in relationships.
With external influences constantly shaping our thoughts and actions, finding and maintaining our true selves can seem like a daunting task. However, taking a journey of self-discovery can be highly fulfilling and lead to a life brimming with joy and meaningful relationships.
Being authentically yourself means understanding and embracing who you are at your core, but it isn't always straightforward. Finding your true self often involves introspection, courage, and letting go of long-held beliefs about who you’re supposed to be. However, the rewards of being yourself are immeasurable. It can open doors to more authentic experiences, deeper relationships, and a greater sense of wellbeing.
Why is it important to be yourself?
Embracing and expressing your true self is essential for a rich, meaningful life. Being yourself influences your relationships, work, and overall wellbeing, and can make every day more rewarding.
Relationships: Being true to who you are can help you form deeper and more honest connections with people. When you're able to be your true self, your relationships can be based on trust and mutual respect.
Work: At work, being yourself can bring unique ideas and perspectives. This can make you a valuable team member and boost your confidence in handling challenges.
Wellbeing: Living authentically can reduce stress and anxiety that comes from trying to be someone else. It can also lead to greater happiness and a positive self-image.
What does it mean to be authentically yourself?
In order to be yourself, you first need to truly know yourself. This means understanding your core values and what principles are important to you.
Know yourself
Knowing yourself fully will help guide your decisions and shape your interactions with others, as well as open the door to self-love and trust.
Recognize your emotions
Recognizing your emotions so you can acknowledge and accept your feelings is also essential to being yourself. Emotions form a significant part of your identity, so it’s important to understand what you’re feeling day-to-day.
Know what makes you comfortable
Knowing what makes you comfortable and what doesn't can allow you to identify your needs, set boundaries, and communicate them, which is crucial for maintaining your sense of self.
Embrace your unique skills and talents
Your unique skills and talents are also a big part of who you are, so focus on what you excel at and take pride in these abilities. On the flip side, recognizing areas where you can improve is also important, as accepting and addressing your weaknesses shows self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth.
Align your actions with your beliefs
Aligning your actions with your internal beliefs and values can help bring a sense of peace and authenticity to your life.
14 ways to be yourself in relationships, at work, and beyond
With the right steps, you can cultivate a deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself in order to live more authentically in every aspect of your life. Being true to yourself is an ongoing journey, not a destination, so embrace each step of this journey with patience and kindness toward yourself.
1. Explore and appreciate your inner world
Examine your personal values, beliefs, and passions. These are the foundations of being yourself. Start by writing in a journal about what matters most to you and why.
2. Remind yourself that you are enough as you are
Replace critical thoughts with positive affirmations. This can boost self-esteem and reinforce your sense of true self. Each time a negative thought arises, counter it with a positive statement about yourself.
💙 Learn how to Shift Your Self-Talk with help from Jay Shetty to move from negative self-beliefs to positive ones.
3. Celebrate your strengths
Focus on what you do well. Acknowledging your talents builds confidence, so make a list of your skills and find ways to use them daily.
💙 Find inspiration from Jay Shetty on how to celebrate Your Unique Skillset.
4. Dismiss others’ judgments of you
Remind yourself that your value doesn't depend on others' opinions. Free yourself from the worry of what others think. Your worth is intrinsic and not determined by external validation.
💙 It’s hard to get out of the cycle of constantly comparing yourself to others, but by practicing Reframing Difficult Thoughts, you can cultivate feelings of positivity and shift your focus.
5. Embrace change and growth
Accept that change is a part of life and an opportunity for personal growth. Identify one area you want to grow, and take small steps toward improvement.
💙 Learn how to Cultivate Curiosity and explore what interests you, so can find more ways to bring change and growth into your life.
6. Let go of the past
Use past events as lessons, not limitations. Reflect on your experiences, and acknowledge their impact, but understand that your history doesn't dictate your future. Then, shift your focus to the present.
💙 Holding on too tightly to the past can affect your happiness in the present moment. Learn how to let go with the 7 Days of Happiness series.
7. Express yourself creatively
Creativity can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and to express your thoughts and feelings. Try a new hobby like painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument.
💙 Join Tamara Levitt as she guides you through exploring Creativity by slowing down and tuning into your mind.
8. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities
Recognize that vulnerability is a sign of strength that can lead to deeper connections and self-acceptance. Share a personal challenge with a trusted friend or family member.
💙 Learn about the importance of Vulnerability in the Relationship with Self series.
9. Surround yourself with support
Build a network of people who respect and encourage you. Positive relationships can reinforce your true self, so seek out friends or groups that share your interests and values.
💙 Discover the key to Nurturing Relationships in the Relationships with Others series, which offers key advice on building a network of friends and sustaining those relationships.
10. Prioritize self-care
Regularly take time for activities that nourish your body and mind. Self-care is essential for wellbeing. Include activities like meditation, exercise, or reading into your daily routine.
💙 Tune into any physical sensations you might be experiencing within your body and deepen your awareness with a 10-minute Body Scan. This exercise allows you to focus on how your body feels and give it what it desires.
11. Set personal boundaries
Boundaries help protect your energy and values, so know and communicate your limits in personal and professional settings.
💙 Follow along with Tamara Levitt as she guides you through a meditation on setting Boundaries.
12. View mistakes as learning opportunities
Understand that errors are part of the learning process. They don't define your worth. Reflect on what each mistake teaches you and how you can grow from it.
💙 Explore how your setbacks can serve you during The Failure Resume session of the Daily Jay.
13. Stand firm in your truth
Living authentically means upholding your values and beliefs, so be honest with yourself and others. In situations of conflict, calmly express your viewpoint and stand by it.
14. Practice self-respect
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would to a close friend. Self-compassion and encouragement can bring self-respect, leading to a more positive self-image.
💙 Explore what self-care tools can support you in developing a nourishing practice with Caring for Yourself in the Radical Self-Care series.
How to be yourself FAQs
Why can't I just be myself?
Societal norms, peer pressure, and personal insecurities can make it difficult to be yourself. The desire to fit in or fear of judgment can lead you to mask your true self. However, everyone faces these challenges at some point. The key is to work consistently toward self-acceptance and confidence. Start small by identifying aspects of your personality or interests that you feel most comfortable sharing. Gradually, as you gain confidence, you can reveal more of your true self to the world.
How do I learn to be there for myself?
Being there for yourself means offering the same kindness and support to yourself that you’d offer a good friend. It involves acknowledging your feelings, needs, and desires and taking steps to fulfill them. Start by regularly checking in with yourself. Ask yourself how you're feeling and what you need at that moment. It could be something as simple as a break from work or spending time on a hobby. Practicing self-compassion is also crucial. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during challenging times.
How to be yourself in five simple steps?
Identify your values: Understand what’s truly important to you. This could be family, honesty, creativity, or anything else that resonates with you.
Let go of others' opinions: Focus on what makes you happy, not on pleasing others. Your worth is not determined by other people's perceptions.
Embrace your strengths: Recognize and appreciate your unique abilities and talents. Use them to express yourself and contribute to the world.
Express your true self: Share your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs openly when you feel comfortable. This might be through conversation, art, writing, or any form of self-expression.
Maintain integrity and self-respect: Stand up for your beliefs and values. Treat yourself with respect, and don't compromise your values for others.
How do I handle criticism and judgment while being true to myself?
Dealing with criticism and judgment can be tough, especially when you're trying to be true to yourself. It's important to remember that criticism often says more about the critic than about you. Try to view feedback objectively. Is there something constructive that you can learn from it? If not, allow yourself to let it go.
Building a strong sense of self-worth can help in handling criticism. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, and surround yourself with supportive people who accept and encourage you. This support system can be a great source of strength and perspective when facing judgment.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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