How to survive (and maybe even thrive) this Thanksgiving
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Complicated family dynamics got you wondering how you'll survive another Thanksgiving dinner? These 10 mindful tips can help you make it through with your mental health intact.
Thanksgiving can be an exciting day filled with delicious food, tried and true traditions, and quality time with the people we love. But, let’s be real, it can also be stressful.
Between cooking, hosting, and navigating complicated family dynamics, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. And once you throw in sensitive topics like politics, grief, or your aunt’s unsolicited life advice (we all have that family member), Thanksgiving can quickly shift from what should be a joyful day to a day that’s downright exhausting.
If you’ve ever found yourself counting the hours until you can say goodbye, you’re not alone. So many people struggle with how to keep the peace, set boundaries, or simply survive the day without losing their cool. And that’s okay — it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or doing the holiday “wrong.”
Whether you’re dreading awkward small talk, preparing to host a part of 30, or bracing yourself for a tense family dinner, we’ve got tips to make Thanksgiving a little easier. From practical strategies to lighten the mood to mindful techniques for protecting your mental health, these tips will help you navigate the holiday with less stress — and maybe even enjoy a few moments along the way.
10 mindful tips to help you survive this Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving can bring a wide variety of emotions — feelings of joy, grief, stress, and probably a hint (or more than a hint) of chaos. Maybe you’re navigating complicated family dynamics, coping with the loss of a loved one, or just trying to keep the peace in the family. Whatever your circumstances, it helps to have a plan before, during, and after the big day.
These tips are here to help make the holiday go a little smoother, from setting boundaries with family members to finding moments of humor and gratitude amidst the mess. So, pull up a seat at the table, and let’s make this Thanksgiving one to remember.
1. Start your day with mindfulness to keep yourself grounded
When some think of Thanksgiving, the first thing that comes to mind is overwhelm. You have a packed house, there’s constant chatter coming from every room, and, of course, there’s the occasional stressful moment (family arguments, anyone?)
Practicing mindfulness exercises before the day begins can help you stay calm and grounded, even when things start to feel chaotic. Mindfulness doesn’t require a lot of time or special equipment, either, so you can try it while you’re still in bed, during your morning cup of coffee, or as you’re preheating the oven for a day of cooking. Here are 10 of our favorite mindfulness exercises to try.
Mindfulness, to put it simply, is about bringing your attention to the present moment and giving yourself space to breathe. When you focus on what’s happening right now, instead of getting swept up in worries or what-ifs, you’re better able to handle stress. Mindfulness also helps you notice small joys in the day, like the warmth of your grandmother’s hug, a bite (or twelve) of your favorite holiday dish, or the sound of a loved one’s laughter.
What to do: When the day starts to feel overwhelming, take a few minutes to pause and focus on your breathing (the bathroom is our go-to for a bit of quiet in a crowded house). Try the box breathing technique, where you inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and pause for four counts before starting again. This simple exercise can quickly calm your mind and body.
💙 Pause to Breathe in this one minute breathing exercise to help keep yourself centered and grounded as many times as you need throughout the day.
2. Set realistic expectations for yourself (and others)
Thanksgiving, and most holidays really, have a habit of coming with high expectations, which can leave us feeling disappointed when they fall short. Social media shows perfect spreads, smiling families, and homes that look straight out of a holiday catalog. But, let’s be real, life is rarely that polished. Sometimes the turkey is dry, a relative arrives late or doesn’t even show up, or there’s an awkward pause at the table that feels like it lasts forever. It’s important to remember that no one’s Thanksgiving is perfect — and it doesn’t have to be.
When you let go of the pressure to create a picture-perfect day and make space for realistic expectations, you open yourself up to appreciating the holiday for what it is. Thanksgiving is a time to connect with your family and community, eat good food, and simply get through the day with your sanity intact (we’re only halfway joking here). Lowering the bar doesn’t mean you’re settling — it means you’re giving yourself permission to enjoy the little things, even if not everything goes as planned.
What to do: Decide what truly matters to you about Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s catching up with a loved one you haven’t seen in a while, savoring a slice of your favorite pie, or just making it through without any major arguments. Focus on those priorities and let the rest fall into place.
If something goes wrong—like a forgotten side dish or a toast from your uncle that goes rogue—try to laugh it off and move on. The day doesn’t have to be flawless to be meaningful, nor does it have to be serious to be a success. Here are six more ways to manage the expectation vs. reality trap on turkey day.
3. Set boundaries ahead of time
Family gatherings can be tricky, especially when certain topics or personality dynamics make the vibe feel tense. You might have a relative who loves to debate politics, someone who tends to overshare, or a well-meaning family member who brings up personal subjects you’d rather avoid. It’s normal to feel anxious about these moments, but setting boundaries (these five tips can help) can help you navigate them more smoothly.
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out or being confrontational — they’re about creating a space (or space around yourself) where you feel comfortable. Boundaries also go beyond conversation topics. They can help you decide how long you stay, how much you participate, or even whether you attend at all.
What to do: Think about the situations that might make you uncomfortable or trigger anxiety. If certain topics, like politics or religion, are likely to come up, prepare a polite but firm response, like, “Let’s save that discussion for another time,” or, “I’d rather focus on enjoying the meal and family time today.” Practice these phrases in advance if you’re nervous — they’ll feel more natural when you need to use them.
You can also set boundaries around your time and energy. If you know a full day with family will leave you drained, plan to stay for just a few hours. Having a clear plan in place can make setting boundaries feel less stressful.
Finally, remember that it’s okay to hold your ground and speak up for yourself if someone pushes back. Boundaries are for your well-being, and you don’t need to apologize for prioritizing yourself.
💙 Learn how to Make Clearer Requests to establish your boundaries and ensure they’re understood with help from Jay Shetty.
4. Focus on self-care, along with caring for others
Thanksgiving tends to be all about taking care of others — there’s cooking, hosting, cleaning, or making sure everyone gets dessert and is all set. But when you put yourself last, the stress can pile up quickly. That’s why self-care is so important, especially during the holiday season. Taking care of your own physical and emotional needs doesn’t just help you feel better, but it also makes it easier to handle the demands of the day.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean a full-on spa day (although it can be). Sometimes, it can be as simple as making sure you’re rested, nourished, and grounded. When you take small steps to prioritize your well-being, you’ll feel more capable of navigating tricky moments, whether it’s managing a family disagreement or surviving hours of back-to-back small talk.
What to do: Start with the basics. Get a good night’s sleep before Thanksgiving so you’re well-rested, make sure you eat a balanced breakfast or lunch, and don’t forget to stay hydrated throughout the day. Here are 20 more self-care ideas to help you stay nourished before, during, and after the holiday.
5. Make space for your grief and tough emotions
Thanksgiving can be especially hard when you’re carrying grief or difficult emotions. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, are dealing with a major life change, or simply feel out of step with the holiday cheer, it’s okay to acknowledge that this time of year can bring up a lot of feelings. You don’t have to force yourself to feel joyful, or even grateful, if you’re not there. It’s completely valid to feel sad, overwhelmed, or even disconnected during the holiday.
Grief and tough emotions don’t need to be hidden or ignored, but it’s also okay to set limits on how much you share. Thanksgiving is about connection, and sometimes, opening up a little can help you feel less alone. On the other hand, if you’d rather process your feelings privately, that’s okay too. You get to decide what feels right for you.
What to do: If you’re missing a loved one, find a way to honor them in a way that feels meaningful. You might share a favorite memory around the table, cook their signature dish, or set aside a quiet moment to reflect. Including them in your day—even in a small way—can bring a sense of connection and comfort.
Of course, remember to practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that grief and emotions don’t have a timeline, and it’s okay to feel however you feel. The holidays can be a mix of joy and sadness, and both are valid.
💙 Take a moment for yourself and listen to Lama Rod Owens as he guides you through a meditation on Caring For Your Grief.
6. Consider what to say and what not to say at the table
Thanksgiving dinner is a great opportunity to connect with loved ones, but knowing what to say (and what to avoid) can help keep the atmosphere positive and enjoyable. Stick to conversation starters that are neutral and fun. You might compliment the food or ask about someone’s favorite dish. Questions about hobbies, recent travels, or favorite movies or shows can also spark lively, pleasant conversations — here are 30 good questions to have on hand. If your family enjoys reminiscing, bring up a fond memory of past Thanksgivings or ask someone to share their favorite holiday tradition.
It’s probably best to avoid sensitive topics that can lead to heated debates or make someone uncomfortable. Politics and religion are the big ones that you may want to steer clear of unless you’re open to having potentially challenging conversations about differing views — and even then, it may be better to save these for after the holiday meal. Personal questions, like asking about someone’s relationship status, career, or future plans, can also feel intrusive or stressful, especially if the person is going through a tough time, so tread lightly.
7. Don’t feel guilty for saying no
As we mentioned, Thanksgiving often comes with expectations. Maybe your family assumes you’ll host, contribute to a big meal, or spend the entire day celebrating from dawn ‘til dusk. While it’s wonderful to be part of traditions, it’s also okay to acknowledge when those expectations are too much. Saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish or ungrateful — it simply means you’re taking care of yourself. And that’s something worth prioritizing.
It’s natural to worry about disappointing people, but trying to do everything can leave you stressed, resentful, or completely drained. You deserve to enjoy the holiday too! And sometimes that means setting limits on what you can handle. Whether it’s skipping a gathering altogether or choosing not to bring a dish to the potluck, saying “no” nicely is about knowing your limits and respecting them — here are 30 ways to do it.
What to do: When saying no, be polite but firm. You don’t need to give a long explanation. Something simple like, “Thanks for inviting me, but I won’t be able to make it this year,” works perfectly (here are 30 ways to say no nicely if you need more inspo).
If you’re worried about how others will react, remind yourself that you’re not responsible for their feelings. And remember that saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. You can still connect with loved ones in ways that feel manageable, like sending a thoughtful text, calling to say hello, or even arranging to meet up another time.
8. Bring a distraction, like games or play music
Sometimes the best way to keep Thanksgiving running smoothly is to have a few distractions ready. Activities and entertainment, like board games or even just listening to music can help shift the focus from awkward or tense moments and give people something fun to do together. When everyone is engaged in something lighthearted, there’s less room for conflict or uncomfortable conversations.
What to do: Come prepared with an activity or two that fits the vibe of your gathering. For a big family dinner, games like charades, trivia, or even a friendly card game can get everyone involved or you can always suggest a new (or favorite old) movie.
Have a musician in the family? Have them bring their instrument for a little jam sesh. You could also plan a fun taste test, like which pie is the best, or get people involved in a collaborative dish, like decorating holiday cookies or building a gingerbread house. These kinds of hands-on distractions keep people busy and help create a relaxed, playful atmosphere.
The goal isn’t to avoid connection — it’s to create moments of joy and togetherness in a way that feels easy and natural. With the right distraction, Thanksgiving can become less about surviving the tough parts and more about savoring the fun ones.
9. Practice gratitude, even if it’s hard
Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that simple. If you’re dealing with stress, grief, or family drama, the idea of being thankful can feel like just one more thing to check off a list. But practicing gratitude doesn’t have to mean ignoring the hard stuff or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about finding small, real moments of appreciation and focusing on things that make your day just a little brighter. Sharpen your gratitude practice in time for Thanksgiving with these 10 tips.
Gratitude doesn’t cancel out the challenges you’re facing, and it’s okay to acknowledge both. You can be thankful for the good while still feeling frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed. In fact, finding even tiny things to appreciate can help shift your focus and make the holiday feel a little more manageable. Gratitude is less about big, life-changing realizations and more about noticing the small joys you might otherwise overlook.
What to do: Find one small thing to appreciate during the day. It could be the smell of your favorite dish cooking, the sound of laughter, or the first sip of coffee in the morning before the festivities begin. These moments bring comfort and help ground you in the present moment.
Remember that gratitude is a practice, not a one-time task. If it’s hard to feel thankful right now, that’s okay. The important thing is to give yourself grace and look for those small moments when you’re ready. Over time, even a little bit of gratitude can help make Thanksgiving—and the days that follow—feel more balanced and fulfilling.
💙 Check out our 7 Days of Gratitude series with Tamara Levitt to begin your gratitude journey today.
10. Have a plan for when you want to leave
Even when you love the people at the table, the noise, the energy, and the constant conversation can feel like a lot. That’s why it’s a good idea to have an escape plan or a personal boundary in place that you stick to. Knowing you can take a breather in the backyard or gracefully exit when needed can make the whole day feel less daunting.
Your “escape” doesn’t have to mean leaving the gathering entirely — though that’s always an option if you need it. Sometimes, it’s as simple as stepping outside for a few minutes of fresh air, offering to help with dishes to get a break from the table, or sneaking away to a quiet room to reset. Having a go-to excuse or a trusted ally who can back you up makes these moments even easier.
What to do: Plan how you’ll step away if needed. If you’re at someone else’s house, scope out a quiet spot when you arrive you can retreat to. If things get too intense and you need to leave early, it’s okay to have an exit strategy in place. Drive yourself if possible, or coordinate with someone who understands your limits and is willing to head out with you. Let your host know with kindness, but without overexplaining, that you’ve had a wonderful time, but it’s time for you to go.
The goal is to give yourself permission to take a moment or leave altogether without guilt. Prioritizing your mental health doesn’t make you a bad guest — it makes you a healthier, happier one.
How to survive Thanksgiving FAQs
How can I handle a difficult family member during Thanksgiving?
Dealing with a challenging family member during Thanksgiving can be difficult, but it's important to remember that you don't have to fix anyone or make everyone happy. Focus on maintaining your own peace and boundaries, rather than trying to control someone else's behavior — these 12 practices can help.
When dealing with a difficult family member, stay calm and neutral. Take a deep breath before responding and keep your tone polite but firm. If they bring up a topic you’d rather avoid, redirect the conversation with something lighthearted. It can help to have a few conversation topics prepared so you feel more confident in the moment.
It’s okay to step away if the situation becomes too much. Excuse yourself to grab a drink, check on something in the kitchen, or take a quick moment outside to regroup. If needed, ask a trusted family member or friend for support. You’re not alone in facing tough dynamics, and it’s okay to prioritize your mental health.
What are some conversation starters that avoid controversial topics?
Good conversation starters can help keep the focus on fun, neutral topics, like asking about favorite dishes on the Thanksgiving table or secret ingredients people swear by. This can steer clear of heated debates and keep the conversation light and enjoyable.
Hobbies and interests are a great topic to discuss. You could ask about recent books or movies or the best thing someone has done this fall. It's a way for everyone to contribute without addressing touchy subjects. If kids are present, you could ask them about their favorite part of Thanksgiving (besides dessert, of course).
The key is to keep the conversation light and open-ended. Avoid sensitive questions and focus on topics everyone can enjoy. With some preparation, you can keep the mood positive throughout the meal.
Should I avoid politics during Thanksgiving dinner?
Avoiding politics at Thanksgiving is usually a smart move, as these conversations can easily become stressful or divisive. And while civil, honest conversations about hard topics are an important aspect of healthy relationships (and democracy), it’s okay if you don’t want to dive into heated topics over dessert with people you don’t see often.
Keeping the focus on the gratitude, food, and shared memories to keep the peace is understandable. And if someone brings up politics, redirect the conversation by saying, "Let's save that debate for another time. I really want to hear about your vacation!" or, "I think we've all earned a break from the news today. Who's ready for pie?" Most people will take the hint and move on.
If the conversation becomes too intense, it's okay to excuse yourself for a moment. Take a break to collect your thoughts and return when you feel ready.
How can I politely decline discussing certain subjects at the dinner table?
It's okay to let people know if there are topics you're not comfortable discussing. A simple statement like, "I'd rather not get into that right now," can set a boundary without being confrontational. If someone presses, follow up with, "I'd prefer to focus on enjoying the time together." Most people will respect that once they realize you're not interested.
Another tactic is to redirect the conversation. If asked a question you’d rather not answer, respond briefly and then shift the focus. Try saying, “I’m still figuring that out, but tell me about your new project!” Having redirection strategies in mind before the meal can help you feel more prepared.
Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your boundaries. It’s okay to prioritize your own comfort and well-being, even if it means gently steering the conversation away from sensitive subjects.
What should I do if I’m alone on Thanksgiving?
Spending Thanksgiving alone can feel tough, but it doesn't have to be lonely or stressful. Create a special day for yourself filled with comfort and things you enjoy.
Plan something meaningful to you, like cooking a favorite meal or treating yourself to takeout from your favorite restaurant. If cooking is overwhelming, create a snack board with your favorite treats.
Find ways to connect with others, even if you’re not physically together. Reach out to family or friends with a phone call or video chat if you want to. You could even join a virtual Friendsgiving or spend time online in spaces where people are celebrating together. Many community organizations also host events or volunteer opportunities on Thanksgiving, which can be a great way to meet people and feel connected.
Give yourself permission to spend the day in whatever way feels good to you. Whether it's curling up with a book, binge-watching your favorite show, or taking a long walk, it's all okay and perfectly you. Thanksgiving is about gratitude and finding moments of joy for yourself can make the day feel special, even if you're spending it solo.
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