How to practice radical acceptance when life feels hard
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore the power of radical acceptance including what it is and when to use it. Plus, learn how to practice radical acceptance with our 8 helpful tips.
Whether you’re experiencing sudden changes at work, you’re going through difficulties in a relationship, or you’re simply dealing with the daily stresses, life can be difficult to come to terms with.
Radical acceptance is a powerful practice that can help us find more ease and peace in our lives. Learn exactly what it is, the benefits, and how you can start to practice it.
What is radical acceptance?
Imagine a day when things go awry—maybe it's raining on the day of your outdoor event or a work presentation didn’t go to plan. A natural reaction might be to become upset. However, staying upset doesn't change the situation—the rain won’t magically stop when you want it to and you can’t go back in time to redo the presentation. Enter radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance is a tool that can help you navigate rough patches and offer a sense of mental calm amidst the chaos. The concept of radical acceptance isn’t about liking or approving of these tough situations but, instead, acknowledging them for what they are. It’s a mindfulness practice that helps you pay attention to the present moment without wishing it were different. When you practice radical acceptance, you're saying to yourself, “Okay, this is the reality. Now, what can I do about it?” It’s not about giving up. It’s about facing what’s in front of you with mental clarity.
The benefits of radical acceptance
Practicing radical acceptance can support your mental health, productivity, and relationships. Sometimes, it is what it is. And we can learn to be okay with that. Here’s how practicing radical acceptance can improve your daily life.
Radical acceptance can bring a greater sense of peace
By reducing the anxiety that often comes from unmet expectations, you can attain a greater sense of inner peace through radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance can improve decision-making and problem-solving
Overthinking can make easier decisions appear far more difficult. With a clearer mind, it’s easier to make better decisions and problem-solve more effectively.
Radical acceptance can foster compassionate understanding
Radical acceptance promotes a compassionate understanding toward yourself and other people, which can improve relationships with others and yourself.
Radical acceptance can help cultivate resilience
The practice of radical acceptance can help build a resilient mindset, enabling you to work through life's challenges with grace.
Radical acceptance can reduce stress
By minimizing the additional stress that comes from fighting reality, radical acceptance contributes to a more emotionally balanced life.
Radical acceptance can be a valuable mental wellbeing practice
Accepting and understanding life's adversities builds mental strength. Implementing radical acceptance can boost your mental wellbeing by encouraging you to focus on what you can control as opposed to what you can’t.
Radical acceptance can help you make changes
Radical acceptance can help you get real about where you are in your life, your abilities, and your opportunities. By viewing things realistically (rather than positively or negatively), you can make mindful resolutions, change your habits, and set achievable personal goals.
When to use radical acceptance
Here are seven everyday scenarios where you might consider practicing radical acceptance.
When you’re stuck in traffic: Radical acceptance can be practiced by acknowledging the traffic and the possibility of being late rather than feeling upset about something beyond control.
When your kids, colleagues, friends are upset: Instead of feeling embarrassed or frustrated, understanding and accepting their emotions and addressing them calmly can be a practice of radical acceptance.
When you’re dealing with pain: Radical acceptance can help in acknowledging chronic pain and working toward managing it in a healthier way instead of resisting or denying the discomfort.
When you’re navigating the end of a relationship: Accepting the reality of a relationship ending and working through emotions that arise is a step toward healing and moving on in a mindful way.
When you’re facing a job loss or career setback: Radical acceptance in this scenario is about facing and accepting reality, understanding and acknowledging your emotions, and planning the next steps forward.
When you’re coping with the loss of a loved one: Firstly, allow yourself to grieve, and find a way to cherish the memories. As you navigate the grieving journey, radical acceptance can act as a gentle way to acknowledge your loss as you move toward accepting it.
When you’re managing unexpected financial challenges: Radical acceptance can allow you to see the situation clearly, make a realistic plan, and take actionable steps to get through it.
When not to use radical acceptance
While radical acceptance can be a pathway to inner peace in many circumstances, it's important to note that there are situations where it may not be appropriate or beneficial. For instance, radical acceptance should not be used to justify or tolerate harmful circumstances or actions in cases of abuse, injustice, or harmful behavior.
It's crucial to know the difference between situations where acceptance can lead to peace and understanding and situations where action, intervention, or removal from the harmful environment is necessary for one’s safety and wellbeing.
Radical acceptance is about acknowledging reality and not believing harmful situations are unchangeable. In such harmful scenarios, seeking support, taking protective measures, and advocating for justice and safety are of the utmost importance.
8 ways to practice radical acceptance
Radical acceptance takes time, but with a little practice you’ll find it’s easier to achieve. Here are some places to start:
1. Engage in mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you root yourself in the present moment where you can view your present situation with acceptance and maybe even curiosity. Mindfulness exercises such as meditation, gentle movement, or breathing exercises can also help reduce stress and anxiety you may be feeling surrounding your present situation. These practices can help you escape from the busyness of your mind and tap into the present moment.
💙 Challenge yourself in this 30-day Mindfulness for Beginners course led by Jeff Warren.
2. Acknowledge your feelings
When practicing radical acceptance, it’s normal for frustration and disappointment to crop up. Instead of avoiding your emotions, try accepting and truly feeling your feelings. Whether through journaling or talking with someone you trust, give yourself space to express what’s on your mind. Then you can process those feelings, let them go, and move on in accepting your situation.
💙 Develop ease with how you feel right now in this Emotions Check In with Prof. Megan Reitz.
3. Be kind to yourself
It’s not always easy to radically accept the parts of life that might be disappointing, or frustrating, treat yourself with kindness, especially during these tough times. Offer yourself the understanding and patience you would extend to a good friend. If you’re feeling angry or frustrated about what’s happened, it’s totally okay.
💙 Dive into our Relationship With Self series and learn about Self-Compassion and accepting your feelings.
4. Let go of resistance and judgment
Try to accept life’s imperfections. Notice when you are resisting reality or judging yourself harshly. Acknowledge these tendencies and gently let them go. Keep in mind, this can take practice so if it’s tough at first, that’s okay. Accepting difficult moments in life gets easier as you gain more experience.
💙 Focus on what you can control, and learn to practice Acceptance in this meditation with Jay Shetty.
5. Learn more about radical acceptance
Learn more about radical acceptance therapy. Understand its principles, benefits, and how it can be applied in different life situations.
💙 Try Enhancing Self-Acceptance with Tamara Levitt to help guide you toward a gratitude practice to support your acceptance journey.
6. Seek support
Reach out for support from groups or professionals familiar with radical acceptance. Sharing your journey and learning from others can be immensely helpful.
7. Practice patience
Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself as you work through this process of acceptance.
💙 Practice Patience and learn to embrace and accept the time it takes for change to take place.
8. Celebrate your progress
Every step forward is a victory. Maybe your social plans were canceled and rather than pout about not getting to see friends, you decide to turn the evening into a self-care night. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, as you continue to practice radical acceptance in your life.
Radical acceptance FAQs
What is an example of radical acceptance?
A common example of radical acceptance could be coming to terms with a medical diagnosis either for you or a loved one. Initially, you might feel anger, denial, or sadness, which is completely natural. Radical acceptance comes into play when you acknowledge the reality of the diagnosis, understand your emotions, and start working toward managing your condition or helping your loved one in a proactive and healthy way.
What does radical acceptance look like in a relationship?
Radical acceptance in a relationship means embracing the reality of yourself, your partner, and the dynamics between you without judgment. It's about understanding and accepting that you and your partner have strengths and weaknesses. Approaching differences in relationships in this way fosters openness and honest communication, allowing the relationship to grow and evolve.
What is the radical acceptance coping strategy?
The radical acceptance coping strategy is a method that helps individuals come to terms with reality, especially when facing difficult or painful situations. It’s about saying, “this is what’s happening, and I can’t change it, but I can choose how I respond to it.” This strategy aims to reduce the extra layer of suffering from denial or resistance, promoting a clearer understanding and better management of the challenges at hand.
How to practice radical self-acceptance?
Practicing radical self-acceptance involves a blend of self-awareness, self-compassion, and mindfulness. Start by recognizing and acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment. Extend kindness and understanding to yourself, especially when facing challenges or setbacks. It’s also beneficial to engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling—over time, this practice can lead to a more compassionate and accepting relationship with yourself, promoting inner peace and resilience.
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