11 relationship goals to help you build a healthy partnership
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Discover how setting goals and expectations can help you build a healthy relationship. Plus, 11 examples of relationship goals you can set with your partner.
We all want to know how to build healthy relationships — real ones, not just the stuff of social media highlight reels.
However, relationships look different for everyone, so what works for one couple might not work for another. It’s helpful to sit down with your partner and set clear and meaningful goals that will help you achieve the lasting connection that works for both of you.
Establishing relationship goals is also a practical way to ensure that your relationship can withstand the complexities of everyday life. These objectives aren’t just about planning the next date night or celebratory dinner (even though date nights are important, too). Instead, these goals are about digging into the deeper aspects of a partnership. You should aim to nurture emotional intimacy, cultivate mutual respect, and build a foundation for a future together. Whether it's improving communication or finding new ways to support each other's personal growth, these goals lay the groundwork for a lasting bond.
What are relationship goals?
Relationship goals can include milestones you want to achieve together, like taking a big trip or buying a home, but they should also go deeper. At their core, relationship goals should be centered around strengthening the emotional intimacy between you and your partner, which is often seen as more important than other forms of connection, like physical. These goals encompass all aspects of a relationship, from the way you and your partner communicate and resolve conflicts to how you support each other's personal growth and individual aspirations.
Your goals might be immediate, like establishing a regular date night to ensure quality time together. Or maybe you want to focus on the long-term conversations you’d like to have, like agreeing on financial or family planning strategies. Other goals might include finding ways to show appreciation and affection, learning how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way, or supporting each other through personal or professional challenges.
It’s important to remember that relationship goals are dynamic and should evolve as your relationship grows and changes. What might have been a priority in the early stages of a relationship may shift as partners grow and encounter new challenges together. Regularly revisiting and adjusting these goals is important to ensure they remain relevant.
Why are goals important in a relationship?
In a relationship, goals can help us to navigate the complexities of being in a partnership. They provide a framework for growth, understanding, and support, which are key components of any healthy and lasting relationship.
Provide a sense of direction and purpose.
Relationship goals help couples agree on where things are heading and what they want to achieve together—whether it's working toward financial stability, planning for a family, or simply striving to be more supportive.
Promote open and honest communication
Relationship goals encourage partners to openly share their needs and expectations. This process not only helps in understanding each other better but also in building a strong foundation of trust and transparency.
Encourage a couple to work together
Teamwork is essential for tackling challenges, celebrating successes, and making decisions. It reinforces the idea that both partners are in this journey together, sharing both the burdens and the triumphs.
Cultivate emotional intimacy
Goals related to emotional connection, such as improving communication or understanding each other's love languages, directly contribute to building deeper emotional intimacy.
Help couples navigate conflict more effectively
When couples understand what they are working toward, they are more likely to approach disagreements constructively, keeping the bigger picture in mind.
Encourage personal growth
Relationship goals often include supporting each other’s personal growth and dreams. This mutual encouragement helps each partner to not only grow as individuals but also brings new energies and experiences into the relationship, keeping the dynamic fresh and evolving.
Build resilience
By setting and working toward goals, couples learn to face challenges together, adapt to changes, and become stronger. This resilience is crucial for long-term relationship stability and satisfaction.
Help couples understand and appreciate progress
Couples must be able to evaluate where they are in their relationship, what they have achieved, and what areas might need more attention or effort.
Support expectation management
Goals help to ensure that both partners are on the same page about what they want and expect from each other, reducing misunderstandings and disappointments.
11 goals for a healthy relationship
Building a healthy relationship involves more than just love and affection—it requires setting and working toward specific goals as a couple. By focusing on these goals, you can build a stronger relationship while also enhancing your personal wellbeing. Your relationship is an ongoing journey, and these goals can evolve and adapt as you grow together.
1. Appreciate your partner’s quirks and flaws
Embrace the fact that both you and your partner are human and make mistakes. Becoming more accepting of these differences, and maybe even growing to love them, can deepen your bond.
2. Be yourself, by yourself, to strengthen your relationship
Encouraging each other to pursue individual hobbies and interests not only supports personal growth but also brings fresh energy and perspectives into the relationship.
💙 Cultivate self-love and individuality through Loving-Kindness, a series of meditations to help you first connect with yourself and then with others.
3. Understand and respect each other’s love language
Whether it's words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch, learning each other’s love language can inform the way you connect and express affection. It also creates a deeper sense of appreciation and understanding.
💙 Explore The Five Love Languages with your partner to create a deeper understanding of one another’s needs and desires.
4. Approach challenges and conflicts as a unit
Remember that you’re a team. Work together to find solutions to problems. Learn to compromise, see the other’s perspective, and, above all else, remain supportive, even if you’re not always on the same page.
💙 Learn to combat Emotional Reactivity and how to take a breath before responding in conflict.
5. Commit to communicating effectively
This involves actively listening, clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings, and being open to your partner's perspective. Committing to communicate effectively is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
💙 Discovering how to communicate with your partner is made simple in Tamara Levitt’s Kind Communication meditation.
6. Use all available resources to overcome challenges
Recognizing when external support is needed—whether from friends, family, or professionals like therapists—is crucial for any couple. This also shows a commitment to the health of the relationship.
7. Create a judgment-free zone
Building an environment where both partners feel safe to express their thoughts, feelings, and desires without fear of judgment or criticism is critical for building and maintaining a healthy relationship.
💙 Take the time to cultivate an environment of Non-Judgment with yourself and your partner in just five minutes a day.
8. Forget about “winning”
Learning to manage disagreements constructively includes avoiding hurtful language, focusing on the issue at hand, and working toward resolution. It's not about winning an argument, but finding a solution that works for everyone.
💙 Learn how to be more mindful during Arguments in this meditation with Tamara Levitt.
9. Make memories by making time for fun together
Relationships thrive when couples prioritize having fun. This can involve planning a night out or a vacation, but it can also be something small, like cuddling on the couch and watching a movie together.
10. Build intimacy and trust by being vulnerable
It’s critical to be open about your innermost thoughts, and being receptive when your partner shares theirs.
💙 Listen to Olympic athlete Jason Roberts share the importance in being open in his talk On Vulnerability.
11. Prioritize each other on a daily basis
Regularly show through actions and words that your partner is your priority. This could mean making time for each other, being present during conversations, or doing small acts of kindness.
💙 To have a healthy relationship, learn the importance of Nurturing Relationships in Calm’s Relationship with Others Series.
Relationship goals FAQs
How do you determine relationship goals?
Determining relationship goals is a collaborative process. Start by having open conversations about your personal needs, desires, and what you both value in the relationship. Consider aspects like emotional connection, communication, lifestyle preferences, personal growth, and your hopes for the future. It's also important to listen actively and respect each other's perspectives.
Once you have a clear understanding of each other's views and needs, you can start setting goals that are meaningful and achievable for both of you. These goals should be flexible and you should plan to revisit and revise them regularly as your relationship grows and changes.
How important are goals in a relationship?
Goals are important because they provide a sense of direction and purpose. Goals also play a crucial role in strengthening communication, building trust, and enhancing emotional intimacy. They come into play when you’re resolving conflicts and managing challenges, and can ensure that the relationship continues to grow and evolve in a healthy way.
What is a relational goal?
A relational goal is an objective or aspiration that both partners agree to work on together to enhance and strengthen their partnership. While they can vary, common relational goals include improving communication, enhancing emotional intimacy, supporting each other's personal and professional growth, and learning to lean on each other. Relational goals focus on the health and progression of the relationship, ensuring that both partners feel fulfilled, valued, and connected.
How do you build a good relationship with your partner?
Building a good relationship with your partner involves several key components:
Effective communication
Trust and respect
Support and encouragement
Quality time
Mutual appreciation
Constructive conflict management
Personal growth
Shared values and goals
Empathy and understanding
Building a good relationship is an ongoing process that requires effort, patience, and commitment. Remember that every relationship is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another. And remember to be true to yourself when setting your goals. The key is to find what resonates with you and your partner, to continuously learn about each other, and to never stop growing together as a couple.
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