Are repressed emotions fueling your anxiety? 6 signs to tell
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
If you're feeling anxious, tense, or emotionally stuck, repressed emotions could be to blame. Explore what they are, why we bury them, and 8 tips to start letting go.
Have you ever had a friend ask you how you’re feeling and then realize that you genuinely don’t know? Maybe you've been feeling off, but since you couldn’t place what’s behind it, you just soldiered on. If you often have unexplained moods or confusing reactions, you may be dealing with repressed emotions.
Emotional stuffing is a pretty common defense mechanism that you likely don’t even know you're doing. At some point in life, you may have learned that certain emotions were too overwhelming or unsafe, so you pushed those feelings out of your awareness. This can be a helpful tool for emotional survival for a time, but it can lead to challenges in the long run.
Because emotions don’t go away just because you ignore them — they often go underground, where they can quietly shape your mood, your behavior, and even your physical health.
Thankfully, there are ways to start letting go. Here’s what you need to know to start feeling more like yourself.
What are repressed emotions?
Repressed emotions are feelings that got pushed so far down, you might not even realize they exist. Often, they’re buried deep outside your conscious awareness.
These emotions are usually the ones you were told—or learned—not to feel because they were “bad”. This can be especially true if you grew up in a home where emotions like anger, sadness, or praise weren’t allowed.
In environments like this, emotional repression becomes a quiet form of protection. The mind takes overwhelming feelings like grief, rage, shame, and fear and gently locks them away so the person feeling them can keep going.
Here’s where it gets tricky: Repressed emotions live in the body. They tend to show up as chronic tension, anxiety, numbness, irritability, or even physical symptoms like fatigue and pain.
So, if you find yourself reacting strongly to minor situations and don’t know why, there might be emotions or emotional experiences that you still need to process.
Why do we repress emotions?
Emotional stuffing doesn’t usually happen when you live in emotionally healthy environments, but when your personal or professional life makes it impossible to process your emotional experiences fully.
Sometimes this starts in childhood, but other times it starts later. You might repress your emotions after a tough breakup or after experiencing grief that you didn’t have the space to process.
It can also occur if you work in a toxic work environment that doesn’t prioritize mental health, personal expression, or communication. (Are you in a toxic work environment? Here are nine signs to look out for.)
6 signs you have repressed emotions
Unfortunately, repressed emotions are sneaky. They usually don’t announce themselves. More often than not, they appear in our habits, tensions, or unexplained mood swings.
Here are six signs you might be experiencing repressed emotions:
You feel anxious or on edge without a clear reason: There’s a constant hum of unease, but you can’t name what it is.
You overreact to small things: You have a big outburst at a traffic light, or over spilled coffee. Actions like this can signal that something deeper needs to be processed.
You go numb during conflict or deep conversations: When things get emotional, you shut down, zone out, or freeze.
Your body’s tense: Your jaw’s regularly clenched, your shoulders are tight, and your stomach’s in knots.
You default to “I’m fine”: You say it automatically, even when you’re clearly not. Sometimes, you even believe it yourself, until your body says otherwise.
You rarely cry, or can’t stop once you start: Then when tears do come, they feel overwhelming.
Why repressed emotions can cause stress, anxiety, and illness
Emotions are meant to move — the word motion is literally baked in. They’re physical as much as they’re psychological. Grief can sit in your chest, anger can burn in your belly, and anxiety can buzz through your limbs, and when not properly expressed, there can be consequences.
Over time, the energy it takes to keep those emotions buried can overload your system. You could feel repressed emotions as chronic stress or anxiety that doesn’t seem to have a cause. You also might notice physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, fatigue, and even autoimmune flare-ups.
Studies have linked emotional suppression and repression to insomnia, heart disease, lowered immune responses, and an increased risk of cancer.
The body tends to keep track of what the mind avoids — and while that might sound intense, it means healing is possible. When you take time to reconnect with yourself, you can physically make yourself feel better.
How to stop repressing emotions: 8 tips to help you release
When you’ve spent a certain amount of your life repressing your emotions, it can take a while to unlearn that coping skill. But it’s still very possible to learn a new, more connective language.
Here are eight tips to help you connect more with yourself and release those emotions.
1. Get curious, not clinical, with your feelings
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What might this feeling be trying to say?” Curiosity creates space where judgment shuts it down. When you notice a tight chest or a sudden burst of irritation, pause and check in.
Anytime you feel off, ask yourself:
“Where do I feel this in my body?”
“What emotion might be living there?”
“Is this feeling familiar?”
💙 Get curious about how you feel during this Emotions Check In meditation with Professor Megan Reitz.
2. Use a feelings wheel
Many of us weren’t taught the vocabulary for how we feel. A feelings wheel can help you move beyond vague terms like fine, stressed, or tired and explore deeper nuances. It can help you figure out if you’re feeling emotions like loneliness, disappointment, resentment, or gratitude.
When you name the emotion, it helps it feel less overwhelming, and it gives it somewhere to go.
💙 Explore our Feelings Wheel & Feelings Journal to help you get in touch with your true emotional state.
3. Make space to feel, with no pressure to fix
Give yourself a few quiet moments to notice what you’re feeling. Then just be present with whatever emotion that is.
You could set a five-minute timer and sit somewhere quiet. You could also put a hand on your chest, breathe, and ask, “What’s here right now?”
💙 Practice making space for whatever you're feeling in the Emotion Series with Tamara Levitt.
4. Get it out of your head and into words
Repressed emotions often swirl in our bodies as unspoken tension, but giving them a voice can help them start to move.
To get it out, try:
Writing a letter you don’t plan on sending.
Recording a voice memo to yourself.
Using a notes app to jot down passing emotional “weather reports.”
5. Notice your “go-to” distractions and pause
We all have our emotional escape routes, like scrolling, snacking, working, or cleaning. None of these are “bad,” but when they’re your only response to discomfort, they can keep you from tuning in.
The next time you reach for your favorite distraction, pause for 15 seconds and ask, “Is there something I’m avoiding right now?” You can still do the thing — just practice noticing first.
(If you’re phone is your go-to distraction, here are 12 ways to scroll less and live more.)
6. Move your body to move your feelings
When words don’t work, movement can help release your feelings. Look for ways to get your blood flowing in a way that feels good to you.
You could:
Take a walk with no destination or phone.
Shake out your hands, arms, and shoulders.
Stretch slowly while breathing deeply.
(Explore these seven other simple movement exercises that can help boost your mental health.)
7. Seek safe emotional spaces — especially ones without advice
Processing repressed feelings is delicate. Sometimes you need a therapist. Other times, you just need someone to sit with you and say, “Yeah, that makes sense.”
Find people, or professionals, who can handle your emotions without trying to tidy them up.
8. Practice self-compassion like it’s emotional first aid
This work is tender. You will bump up against old patterns, and some days you might shut down again. That’s completely normal. When this happens, be kind to yourself. This helps the process from becoming another source of perfectionism.
When you’re struggling, say to yourself: “This makes sense that I feel this way. It was a lot. I’m learning and I’m allowed to feel things.”
(Here are five other practices that can help you practice self-compassion.)
Repressed emotions FAQs
How do I stop repressing my emotions?
Repression happens automatically, so we usually don’t realize we’re doing it. The first step is creating judgment-free moments to check in with yourself.
You could try pausing in the middle of your day and asking, “What’s here right now?” or paying attention to when your body feels tense for no reason. Therapy, journaling, breathwork, and mindful movement can also help you feel safer in your emotional landscape.
What’s the difference between repressed vs suppressed emotions?
Suppressed emotions are consciously pushed aside. You might know that you’re angry, but decide to bottle it up to get through your day. On the other hand, repressed emotions are buried without your awareness. They’re the feelings you’ve been carrying so long, you may not even remember what caused them.
Repression is an automatic long-term response your nervous system developed to protect you, whereas suppression is a short-term decision.
Both can build pressure over time, but repression tends to fly under the radar until something like stress, illness, or burnout forces it to the surface.
Is it possible to fully release repressed emotions?
Sometimes it’s possible to fully release repressed emotions, and sometimes it’s not — and that’s okay. The goal isn’t necessarily to clear out every repressed emotion. It’s to loosen the grip they have on you.
Two ways you can help release some of your repressed emotions are crying when it naturally comes up, and expressing frustration instead of swallowing it.
To give yourself some relief, create a relationship with your feelings rather than shutting them out. You might not be able to release all of your repressed emotions, but you can find more peace and room to feel fully human.
What kind of emotions get repressed?
Anger, grief, fear, shame, and sadness are commonly repressed, especially if you were raised in environments where those emotions weren’t safely modeled. Some people also repress joy, excitement, and pride, particularly if expressing them led to criticism or punishment.
Usually, the type of emotion you repress reflects what wasn’t okay to feel in your earliest relationships or environments.
How do I know if I have repressed emotions?
The tricky part about having repressed emotions is that you usually don’t know it. They tend to live in the background. But if you have chronic anxiety, irritability, numbness, or emotional overreactions that seem out of proportion to the moment, then this might be your clue.
If you notice yourself avoiding deep conversations or feeling disconnected from your own needs, this is another clue that you could have repressed emotions. Headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and gut issues are some physical signs to look out for.
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