What makes people happy? Here’s what research says
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Discover what research has shown makes people happy and a 7-step "social fitness" plan to help you live a good life. Plus, 5 additional keys to happiness.
Ignore everything you’ve been told to the contrary—it turns out there is a secret to having a happy life! Thanks to recent findings from the longest-running study on human happiness, we now have simple but effective steps you can take to better understand happiness and bring more of it into your life.
What makes people happy?
To support our long-term health and wellbeing, nothing is more important than the quality of our relationships.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which started in 1938, has shown that more than money, I.Q, or social class, the depth and breadth of our relationships with family, friends, and spouses are the most important predictors of whether we’ll age well and live a long and happy life.
“Over and over in these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned into relationships with family, with friends, and with community,” said Dr. Robert Waldinger, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the study’s current director.
Why relationships are the key to happiness
So why are relationships the most likely indicator of success? The answer is stress.
Relationships are a huge support when it comes to managing stress, which is something that we’re all experiencing more and more. The Harvard study has shown, again and again, that relationships are the strongest resource we have. We turn to our friends, family, and partners to celebrate the ups and help us through the downs. Calling on that person, or people, helps us feel supported when we’re navigating all that life throws at us.
But a buffer for stress isn’t the only benefit of relationships. Studies have also shown that socially connected people live longer and are more protected against depression and cognitive decline.
A “good” relationship—one that offers you the strength and support you need—doesn’t have to look a certain way. You don’t need to be married or living with someone to receive the benefits. The bonds you have with friends, family, and those in any community groups you’re a part of are equally as important and beneficial. Even a conversation with a casual acquaintance at your work, school, or neighborhood contributes to your levels of happiness.
A supportive relationship also doesn’t have to be smooth sailing all the time. No relationship is perfect. What matters is that you feel you can really count on the other person when life gets hard.
How do you actually cultivate positive relationships?
There’s no denying the evidence that strong relationships are the key to happiness. But they don’t just happen overnight. Relationships are something we have to invest our time and energy in by practicing what is known as “social fitness.”
Just like physical fitness, your social connections need exercise and attention in order to thrive. Luckily, it’s never too late to improve your social fitness, with many participants in the Harvard study making meaningful connections much later in life. It just requires a bit of effort.
Your 7-step social fitness workout plan for a happy life
Building and nurturing relationships should be a priority, like the same way you might choose to prioritize working out or getting good quality sleep. Research shows that higher levels of mindfulness predict happier, more satisfying relationships, which, in turn, increases your overall satisfaction in life. So being mindful and working on your relationships intentionally is one of the best starting points for reaping the benefits of a happier life.
1. Intentionally connect with loved ones
Nothing can replace face-to-face time with your friends and loved ones, so be intentional about making time to connect with the people in your life. Whether it’s an evening walk, a weekend brunch, or a monthly book club meeting, set aside time to nurture the relationships in your life.
Can’t meet in person or find yourself short on time? That’s okay! Dr. Waldinger suggests you set up an 8-minute phone call because even that makes a difference.
💙 Explore the key to Nurturing Relationships in this meditation from the Relationships with Others series.
2. Be present
When it’s time to connect with your people, do your best to be present. Maybe this means putting away your phone or anything else that will distract you. Maybe it means a quick meditation before you see them. Do whatever you need to show up mindfully, ready to engage fully in the moments you have together.
💙 Take two-minutes to get Balanced and Present before you spend time with your loved ones.
3. Practice mindful communication
Make a commitment to bring mindfulness into the conversations you share with others. This means when you’re listening, you give your full attention and understand what the other person is saying. Try not to plan out how you want to respond while they’re talking.
When you’re speaking, slow down, stay connected to your body, and aim to speak authentically from the heart. These practices can strengthen connections by helping you be more open and vulnerable with each other.
When in doubt, ask questions. Get curious about what you still don’t know about the other person and enjoy learning more about who they are.
💙 Explore a technique for Deeper Communication during this session of the Daily Jay.
4. Cultivate and express gratitude
Cultivating and expressing gratitude has a huge, positive impact on our wellbeing, not just for the recipient but also for the person sharing their feelings. Spend some time reflecting on the gratitude you have for the people in your life, maybe in meditation or by making a list, and then make sure to share it with them.
Send a brief text sharing one thing you’re grateful for about the other person (a small check-in can mean a lot).
Write a letter (or email) of appreciation, sharing all that you love about the person.
Make a habit of thanking your loved ones on the spot for things they do for you or ways you are grateful for them.
Establish a dinnertime gratitude practice with your family, sharing what and who you appreciated that day.
💙 In this masterclass, Tamara Levitt helps you unlock the transformative power of Gratitude.
5. Talk to strangers
Instead of silently passing by your neighbor or scrolling on your phone in the check-out line, make a point to engage with those you don’t know well or at all. Research shows that interactions with casual acquaintances may make you smarter and improve your wellbeing.
Even a short interaction can have a positive impact, so look out for moments you can connect and engage with those around you. You never know what might come of it.
💙 See if Jay Shetty’s Interconnectedness meditation helps you feel more comfortable talking to a stranger today.
6. Try a new hobby
Whether it's alone or with a friend, explore a new hobby. Being a beginner opens you up to deeper presence, curiosity, and wonder. Navigating this with a friend or partner can deepen your connection, while doing it alone can offer an opportunity to form new friendships with like-minded people.
💙 Learn how being curious can help you create and maintain strong relationships during the Curiosity Builds Connection session of the Daily Jay.
7. Invest in work friendships
Having friendships at work is an important source of connection and can improve your daily life, no matter what line of work you’re in. Studies show that people who have friends at work are more engaged, more likely to innovate and share ideas, and have more fun.
Try making a small tweak to your habits in order to build your friendships—or potential friendships—at work, school, or any place you go regularly.
Follow up on something that a person mentioned in a meeting. For example, ask about a hobby they like or inquire about a sick family member.
Give a thoughtful compliment.
Participate in, or plan, a social gathering at work.
Join meetings a few minutes early to make some small talk.
Accept help when others offer and extend your hand when possible.
Invite a friend or potential friend to take a walk or grab lunch. If you work remotely, set up time to connect online.
💙 Feeling nervous at the office or about making new connections at work? Listen to Reducing Work Anxiety to get centered.
Other things that make people happy
It’s undeniable that relationships play a significant role in cultivating happiness in our lives, but they’re not the only factor to explore in your pursuit of wellbeing and joy. Taking a holistic approach to wellbeing and understanding the different benefits that a range of approaches bring can significantly enhance your overall sense of happiness and satisfaction with life.
Build a foundation for happiness by maintaining good health
When we are physically doing well, we have the energy and capability to engage in activities we enjoy and tackle daily challenges more effectively. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest are the key components to maintaining good health, which in turn supports a positive outlook on life.
Practice intentional gratitude
Practicing gratitude and acknowledging the good in our lives can significantly boost our mood and overall sense of happiness. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply reflecting on things you're thankful for each day can help cultivate a more appreciative and optimistic perspective.
Find a sense of fulfillment through setting goals
Achieving goals, whether they are personal, professional, or academic, generates a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Setting realistic goals and working toward them can provide a meaningful boost to one's happiness by instilling a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Contribute meaningfully through your work
Engaging in work that feels meaningful and aligns with personal values contributes to a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Purposeful work doesn't necessarily mean your job. It can also include any activity that feels productive and contributes to a broader goal.
Nurture being a giver and receiver through acts of kindness
Acts of kindness—whether big or small—not only benefit the receiver but also enrich the giver's sense of wellbeing. Engaging in kind acts can encourage a sense of community and connection, boosting one's mood and creating a more positive environment.
What makes people happy FAQs
What makes a person happy?
Happiness can stem from a variety of sources, both internal and external. Internally, a sense of contentment, fulfillment, and wellbeing contributes to happiness. This can be achieved through self-acceptance, personal growth, and the realization of one's values and goals. Externally, relationships and connections with others, engaging in activities that bring joy, and feeling a sense of accomplishment in one's endeavors are important. Additionally, factors such as health, financial stability, and having a sense of purpose can significantly influence one's happiness.
What are the 3 things that make us happy?
Strong relationships: Having deep, meaningful connections with family, friends, and loved ones. These relationships provide support, love, and a sense of belonging.
Engagement in fulfilling activities: Participating in activities that align with personal interests, values, and strengths. This could include hobbies, work, or volunteering, where one can experience flow and fulfillment.
Good health and wellbeing: Physical health, including exercise and nutrition, significantly affects happiness. Mental and emotional wellbeing, improved through practices like mindfulness and self-care, are equally important.
What makes for a happy life?
A happy life is often characterized by a balance of several key components:
Meaningful relationships: Connection with others provides support, enrichment, and value to our lives.
Purpose and goals: Having clear goals and a sense of purpose gives direction and a feeling of accomplishment.
Health and wellness: Physical, mental, and emotional health are foundational to experiencing joy and contentment.
Gratitude and positivity: Cultivating a mindset of gratitude and focusing on positive aspects of life can enhance overall happiness.
Flexibility and resilience: The ability to adapt to change and bounce back from adversity is crucial for maintaining long-term happiness.
What type of people are the happiest?
People who are happiest tend to share certain traits and behaviors. Often, they are:
Optimistic: They focus on the positive aspects of life and maintain a hopeful outlook.
Grateful: These people regularly express appreciation for what they have.
Altruistic: They find joy in helping others and contributing to their community.
Curious and engaged: This group seeks out new experiences, are curious about the world, and engage deeply in their interests.
Resilient: They possess the ability to cope with challenges and setbacks in a healthy way.
Ultimately, happiness is highly personal and can vary widely among people. Cultivating habits and attitudes that encourage wellbeing and satisfaction is a journey that is unique to each person.
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