7 types of physical affection you can show in your relationship
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Discover the different types of physical affection and how to show it in your relationship. Plus, 7 simple ways to stay connected and build intimacy.
Do you and your partner hold hands on a walk? Or cuddle up on the couch with a movie? Maybe you always greet each other with a kiss when you get home from work. These small moments of physical affection can bring a sense of comfort and connection to your relationship and often serve as little (or big) reminders of the love you share.
But, not everyone shows or receives affection in the same way. Some people crave regular physical touch, while others feel loved through other gestures. Some people are more physically affectionate with friends (hugs, cheek-kisses and so on) while others are more into high fives and fist bumps.
While there’s no right way to share (consensual) physical affection, it’s important to understand your preferences, as well as those of your partner or friends to make sure you both feel supported and appreciated. Here’s what you need to know.
What are the types of physical affection in romantic relationships?
From jumping into your love’s arms after a few days apart, to playful nudges as you pass in the kitchen, physical affection can take on many forms that nurture your connection and help your partnership thrive.
Let’s get a feel (see what we did there?) for some of the most common and meaningful types of physical affection you can use with those you care about.
1. Hugging: One of the simplest and most universal forms of physical affection. It provides comfort, reduces stress, and releases oxytocin — a hormone that promotes bonding. A long, warm hug can make someone feel safe and cared for.
2. Holding hands: Expressing love and connection, holding hands can be reassuring and grounding, especially during emotional moments. Walking side by side while holding hands is a way to be intimate and make you feel united.
3. Cuddling: Holding each other close for a long time can feel comforting and intimate. You might snuggle on the couch during a movie, or lie in bed together on a weekend morning, which can help reduce anxiety and deepen your emotional bond.
4. Kissing: From a quick peck to a passionate French, kissing expresses your desire, love, and closeness. And it doesn’t have to be on the lips — kisses on the forehead, cheek, or hand can show tenderness and care, even in non-romantic relationships.
5. Gentle caresses: Soft touches, like brushing hair aside, placing a hand on someone’s back, or caressing their arm can give reassurance and remind your partner of your presence.
6. Massages: Both intimate and relaxing, a back or shoulder massage after a long day shows you’re attentive to your partner’s needs, and helps reduce physical tension.
7. Playfulness: Poking, tickling, or gentle wrestling can bring laughter and lightheartedness into your relationship.
Why is physical affection important?
Physical affection helps partners feel connected, loved, and secure in the emotional bond they share. Regular physical touch may even reduce stress, possibly lower blood pressure, and potentially release hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which encourage feelings of happiness and relaxation.
During difficult times, physical touch can also provide reassurance and healing, helping you bridge emotional distances and ease conflicts.
When you and your other half feel comfortable with physical closeness, it can deepen your trust and sense of security in the relationship. In long-term relationships, physical affection can also help keep the connection alive and prevent you from drifting apart emotionally.
7 tips for showing physical affection
It’s not the Instagram-worthy kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower that matters most, it’s the simple, thoughtful gestures that leave the biggest impression. Those warm hugs and sweet caresses might be the most impactful.
Moments of physical affection like hugs, or holding hands can also help deepen friendships, and familial relationships too. Here are a few easy ways to show your loved ones that you care.
1. Pay attention to the types of affection they like
Some people light up from a hug or kiss, while others prefer kind words or thoughtful actions. Notice if your partner, friend, or family member seems to appreciate certain things more, like when you help them with tasks or spend uninterrupted time together.
Try this: If you’re not sure, ask them directly. A simple, “What makes you feel loved or appreciated?” can make space for an honest conversation.
💙 Try The Five Love Languages meditation with Tamara Levitt to hear more on how you might express and receive love to support each other.
2. Be consistent with your affection
Affection isn’t just for special occasions. In romantic relationships, it’s the regular, small gestures of love and care that grow a stronger emotional connection. So send a good morning text or make their favorite tea whenever you can, because people tend to feel more secure and valued when affection is part of daily life.
Try this: Make it a habit to express affection every day, even in small ways. A simple kiss goodbye or checking in with a text during the day helps keep your connection strong (check out these six tips to help you build a new habit).
3. Communicate openly with each other
It’s easy to assume the people we care about know how we feel, but saying it out loud can strengthen your bond. Tell each other what makes you feel appreciated — it can bring you closer together.
Try this: Feeling uncertain? Ask your partner what you do that makes them feel loved. This can help you better understand their needs and make affection more meaningful.
4. Respect their boundaries
Some people enjoy physical touch, but others might feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. It’s okay if your partner or friend has different comfort levels when it comes to affection — find a balance that works for both of you.
Try this: If your loved one prefers less physical affection, focus on kind words or getting hands on with acts of service instead. There are many ways to show love that don’t involve touch.
5. Get creative and spontaneous (if appropriate)
We’ve mentioned consistency, but surprising your partner or loved one with unexpected affection can add excitement to your relationship. Break out of your normal routines every now and then to connect in a new way. You might offer your partner a massage or footrub at in the middle of a stressful moment, or bring them into a slow dance while you’re making dinner.
Try this: What feels spontaneous will be different to each person depending on your relationship, so take some time to consider your normal patterns—and what makes your partner feel special—to find a small action that will surprise and delight your partner.
6. Match their energy
If your partner or friend is being playful, respond with the same playfulness. Or if they’re opening up emotionally, listen and engage with the same level of vulnerability if you can. Meeting each other emotionally can help you strengthen your bond and create more shared experiences.
Try this: If your partner enjoys physical affection but you’re more verbal, try holding their hand or giving them a hug more often. And when your partner initiates a hug or cuddle, don’t pull away quickly, instead try to enjoy the moment. If you have reasons for being uncomfortable with physical touch, talk with them about it.
7. Be mindful and present
Being present is an important part of showing your affection. Put down your phone, turn off distractions, and give your full attention to the person in front of you and the connection you’re trying to make. We know this can be easier said than done, so here are nine tips to help you be more present. I
Try this: Set regular “no screen” times to connect with your partner or family, like over dinner or during a walk. Being fully present shows you care.
💙 Being present can be hard when you’re stressed. Let Jay Shetty help you Get Calm, Get Present during this short meditation.
Types of affection FAQs
What if my partner isn’t comfortable with physical affection?
Not everyone experiences affection the same way, and that’s okay. If your partner isn’t comfortable with physical touch, it’s important to respect their boundaries while finding other ways to express love.
Have an open, non-judgmental conversation to understand what feels right for them.
Use small, gradual gestures like holding hands or light touches to help build comfort over time.
In the meantime, focus on other forms of affection, such as acts of service, kind words, or quality time, to show your care and strengthen your connection.
How can physical affection help during conflicts?
Physical affection can ease tension and help reconnect emotionally during disagreements by encouraging calm and trust. A hug or hand on the shoulder can release oxytocin, reducing stress and signaling that you’re still on the same team.
However, it’s important to gauge each situation mindfully. If your partner needs space, during times of upset, respect that first. When emotions settle, physical touch can help rebuild closeness after difficult conversations, but it might be wise to ask if it’s okay to give them a hug, etc…
If you’re worried your partner may lash out physically when they’re under strain or in emotional pain, keep your distance. If you're afraid to voice how you feel in a relationship, remember that any form of abuse is unacceptable, and you deserve to be safe.
What if physical affection fades in long-term relationships?
It’s normal for physical affection to decline over time, but reigniting it is often just a matter of being intentional. Consistent, simple gestures of affection can restore intimacy and keep your relationship feeling close and connected.
Life’s demands can easily push physical closeness to the side, so start small to rebuild your physical bond. Try holding hands, giving a quick kiss, or cuddle more often, or even talking with them about the lack of connection. Bringing the topic up gently with your partner might open their eyes to habits you’ve both got into.
What are some creative ways to show affection without words?
Affection can be expressed through simple, thoughtful actions. Try these ideas to show how much you care, or deepen your emotional connections.
Making their favorite meal
Leaving surprise notes
Offering a hug at the right moment
Helping with chores or running errands
Holding hands
Smiling
Spending quiet time together, being present and attentive
How do cultural differences impact the expression of affection?
Cultural norms as well as the location and family you grew up in shape how people show affection, influencing whether love is expressed through physical touch, words, or actions.
In some dynamics, people are always hugging, holding hands, or kissing in public, while in others these kinds of affection are reserved for when you’re in private. Verbal expressions like “I love you” may be frequent in one family but rare in another, and affection can be shown through acts of service or quality time instead.
Be open to learning about the cultural or familial differences of your loved ones, and do your best to understand and respect them to help prevent misunderstandings and grow stronger relationships.
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