Yes, wedding depression is real. Here’s how to deal
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
If you find yourself feeling depressed before or after your big day, you aren't alone. Explore why wedding depression occurs and how to deal with the come down.
Planning a wedding can be one of the most exciting times in a person’s life, but it can also be one of the most exhausting. There are so many big decisions to make, like budget, guest list, and venue, and lots of smaller ones like food, flowers, music, and, of course, the wedding dress or suit. After a while, it can all start to feel like too much. While you may be thrilled to be saying “I do,” you may also be overwhelmed by all of the energy surrounding your big day.
Whether you feel pressured to look picture-perfect or perhaps you’re beginning to get nervous about all the changes that marriage can bring, these triggers can take a toll on your mental health. Apart from the mental turmoil you can experience during wedding planning, you can also experience depression after your wedding is over.
If you find yourself feeling down before or after your wedding, you’re not alone. Wedding depression is real, so many people experience it, and most importantly, there are ways to manage it.
What is wedding depression?
Unlike general depression, wedding depression is how many people describe the feeling of sadness before or after their wedding day. Maybe you’re feeling more down than usual, or perhaps the feelings of overwhelm are so much that you find yourself fantasizing about just eloping. You might even be having sleep issues, appetite changes, or a loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy.
For some, wedding depression sets in during the planning process. You might feel stressed about finding the perfect venue, choosing the right color scheme, or making sure everything goes smoothly on the big day. And because there are so many choices to make, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, especially if you struggle with decision-making or perfectionism.
But it's not just about the planning. Wedding depression can also hit after the wedding is over. You might feel sad that what’s said to be the happiest day of your life is behind you, and adjusting to life as a newlywed can bring its own set of challenges — starting with that mountain of thank you notes.
Just remember that all these feelings of sadness and depression are valid, and they do not usually indicate a problem with your relationship.
What causes pre-wedding depression?
While some people are riding a high during the wedding planning process, others may find it overwhelming. After all, the pressure to plan a party for all your friends and family members can get to be a bit much. And the influences from other people’s opinions and even society can cloud what you and your partner desire for your special day.
Pre-wedding depression begins before a person’s wedding day, usually following the engagement or as the couple begins to experience planning fatigue. It might be caused by:
Stress of planning: With so many decisions to make, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.
High expectations: Societal pressures to have the happiest day of your life might cause anxiety.
Life changes: Blending your life with someone else’s is a big deal. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you consider all the changes it can bring.
Financial concerns: Weddings can be expensive, and financial concerns can add another layer of stress.
Social pressure: Perhaps you’re exhausted trying to please friends and family members, or maybe you’re just overwhelmed by societal pressure to have a certain type of wedding. Either way, the planning process can feel lonely and frustrating.
Balancing life and planning: Trying to balance work and your other priorities with wedding planning can be tough and feel impossible.
8 mindful tips for coping with pre-wedding depression
If you start to feel depressed while planning your wedding, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re going to be okay. Explore your feelings and discover what’s bothering you so that you can get back to enjoying this special time.
1. Talk about your feelings
Share your thoughts with your partner, friends, or a therapist to feel supported and less alone. It can be hard to open up, especially if you’re self-conscious, but expressing your worries can lighten the emotional load.
💙 Try identifying your feelings with the Labeling Emotions practice during this session of the Daily Jay.
2. Reduce overwhelm by staying organized
Keep a checklist to manage tasks and reduce stress. A planner or a wedding app allows you to track your progress and break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This can make the planning process feel less overwhelming.
3. Take breaks to keep perspective
Remember to step away from your wedding to-do list occasionally. Watch a movie, read a book, or spend time with friends. Taking breaks can help you recharge and return to planning with a clearer mind. Get inspiration from this list of 20 types of mindful breaks you can take during the planning process.
💙 Take a moment to reconnect with yourself with Chibs Okereke’s One-Minute Reset breathing meditation.
4. Incorporate meditation and mindfulness into your routine
Practice mindfulness by paying attention to your surroundings, your thoughts, and your feelings without judgment. Techniques like mindful breathing and body scans can help you stay calm and centered — and so can meditation. Take a few moments throughout the day to pause and check in with yourself, noticing how you feel and what you need.
💙 Enhance your bodily awareness in a mindful way with this Body Scan Meditation.
5. Move your body as often as you can
Even a short walk or a quick workout can make a big difference to your mood. Try to incorporate some form of physical exercise into your daily routine, whether it’s a few minutes of stretching in the morning or an afternoon run.
💙 Take a break during your day with Mel Mah’s Standing Desk Moves to help you reset during wedding planning.
6. Eat well to feel your best
A balanced diet can help you feel better physically and mentally. Avoid skipping meals and try to eat nutritious foods that give you energy. Focus on including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins in your diet, and remember to drink plenty of water.
💙 Feel your best with guidance from our Benefits of Mindful Eating series.
7. Focus on your priorities and delegate the rest
Ask for help from your partner, family, and friends to make the planning process more enjoyable and less stressful. Delegate specific tasks to people you trust so you can focus on what’s most important to you.
8. Remember your marriage is what matters most
Accept that not everything will go perfectly, and that's okay. Focus on what really matters — your love and the commitment you’re making. Remind yourself that the most important part of your wedding is your union, and the opportunity you have to celebrate it with people you love.
Why you might feel depressed after your wedding
Post-wedding depression refers to the feeling of letdown or sadness that hits once the excitement of the big day fades. It can be caused by:
Excitement comedown: Hopefully, your wedding was everything you dreamed it could be. When it’s over, your mood can sink, and you can feel like you have nothing to look forward to.
Newlywed struggles: After the wedding, you start your life as a newlywed, which can come with big changes and difficult adjustments.
Lack of direction: Now that you don’t have a wedding to plan, you might feel like you don’t know what to do with your free time.
Unmet expectations: If the wedding didn’t go as planned, you might feel disappointed or like all your hard work was in vain.
New responsibilities: Marriage comes with new roles and responsibilities, which can be overwhelming as you learn to adjust.
Financial woes: Weddings can be expensive, and paying the bills afterward can be stressful.
How to deal with the post-wedding depression in 7 steps
Regaining control after post-wedding depression sets in isn’t necessarily easy, but these strategies can help.
1. Set new goals to give yourself structure
Having something to look forward to can give you a new sense of purpose. Consider starting a new hobby, taking on additional responsibilities at work, or volunteering for a cause you care about. These 12 examples of personal development goals may give you some inspiration.
💙 Get specific on the goals you wish to set and the intention behind them with guidance from Jay Shetty’s The ‘Why’ Behind Your Goals.
2. Stay connected with loved ones
Regular social activities can help keep your spirits up and remind you that you’re not alone. Schedule regular catch-ups or outings with friends and family to maintain those important connections.
💙 Prioritize quality time with those you love with guidance from this session on Nurturing Relationships.
3. Reflect on the positive memories
Look back at the happy moments from your wedding. Create a photo album, watch your wedding video, or talk about your favorite memories with your partner. Reflecting on your special day can lift your mood.
4. Plan for the future
Start planning future events or trips to look forward to. This could be a small weekend getaway, a big vacation, or even just a fun date night. Having something special on the horizon can make you feel more excited and positive about the future.
5. Find your calm with meditation
Meditation can help you manage post-wedding depression by promoting relaxation and reducing stress. It can also help you stay focused on all of the love and positive memories from your wedding. Set aside a few minutes each day to practice deep breathing, or try a simple, guided meditation exercise to help you stay calm and centered. Consistent meditation can make a significant difference in your overall wellbeing.
💙 Soak in all of the love you (hopefully) felt during your wedding with Tamara Levitt’s Loving-Kindness meditation.
6. Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routines
Mindfulness can help you appreciate the present moment and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Pay attention to your daily activities, whether it’s eating, walking, or just sitting quietly. Notice the sights, sounds, and sensations around you without judgment. This practice can help you stay grounded and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
💙 Explore these five simple ways to bring mindfulness into your daily routine.
7. Seek help if needed
Sometimes, wedding depression can be more than just a temporary feeling. If you find that you’re having trouble coping, professional help can provide you with the support and tools you need to feel better. Don’t hesitate to seek assistance if your feelings of depression persist or worsen.
Wedding depression FAQs
Are there any natural remedies for reducing wedding stress?
Yes, there are several natural remedies that can help reduce wedding stress.
Get centered: Activities like yoga and meditation are excellent for calming the mind and reducing anxiety.
Spend time outdoors: Being in nature can be soothing, whether it’s a walk in the park or a weekend camping trip.
Try aromatherapy: Certain scents, including lavender or chamomile, can help create a relaxing environment to help you unwind.
Be mindful: Incorporate deep breathing exercises and mindfulness into your daily routine to help manage stress.
How can I talk to my partner about my pre-wedding depression?
Talking to your partner about your pre-wedding depression can be challenging, but it’s important to be honest and open. Start by choosing a calm, private moment to share your feelings. Explain what you’re experiencing and let them know how they can support you.
Try to stick to “I” statements, such as, “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with the wedding planning, and it’s making me anxious.” This way, you’re expressing your feelings without placing blame on anyone. Your partner loves you and will likely want to help you through this, so giving them a clear understanding of what you’re going through is important.
How can I balance wedding planning and self-care?
Balancing wedding planning and self-care is important for maintaining your wellbeing.
It’s important not to let wedding planning take over your life. Set aside specific times for wedding tasks and separate times for self-care. Check out these 20 self-care practices to help you get started.
Schedule regular breaks to relax and do things you enjoy, whether that’s reading a book, taking a bath, or going for a walk.
Prioritizing sleep, eating healthy meals, and staying physically active can help keep your stress levels in check.
Ask your partner to share the planning load, or hire a wedding planner.
What role does diet and exercise play in managing pre-wedding depression?
Diet and exercise can play a significant role in managing pre-wedding depression.
Move often: Regular physical activity can boost your mood and reduce anxiety by releasing natural mood lifters. Even a short daily walk can make a big difference.
Eat well and stay hydrated: A balanced diet can help stabilize your mood by providing your body with the necessary nutrients it needs to function properly. Try to eat regular meals that include a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Staying hydrated is also important.
Restrict unhealthy snacks: Avoiding excessive caffeine and sugar can help prevent mood swings and energy fluctuations.
Can wedding depression lead to anxiety?
Yes, wedding depression can lead to general anxiety if left unaddressed. It’s important to recognize the signs early and take proactive steps to manage your mental health. This might include talking to a therapist, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, or seeking support from your partner and loved ones.
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