How to deal with anxiety around your wedding (and why it’s normal)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
It's easy to think pre-wedding anxiety is "bad," but most of us get it. Learn what having anxiety about your wedding may signal and how to deal with wedding jitters.
Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. And it can be. But let’s be honest — the lead-up can be pretty stressful. Between the mountain of decisions you have to make, balancing complicated family dynamics, and planning for the future, the anxiety of it all may start to eat at you as the day nears.
The truth is, planning a wedding is a lot. And getting married is a big deal — it may even be the biggest change you’ve made in your life to date. So it’s perfectly normal to feel wedding jitters or that you want to run away from it all. It’s important to know that these feelings of overwhelm often don’t mean anything is wrong between you and your partner. They mean that you have a lot going on and you care how it all pans out.
Whether you can’t stop worrying about the weather, feel obsessed over getting the little details just right, or are completely overwhelmed trying to make everyone else happy (we’ve been there), we have some suggestions to help stop the endless spiral and actually enjoy your big day.
What wedding anxiety might signal
For some people, when pre-wedding anxiety creeps in, so does a sense of guilt. You might be asking yourself, “How can I be feeling this way? Aren’t I supposed to be happy?”
Having pre-wedding anxiety isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s a normal response to the stress of planning a big event and the anticipation of a major life change.
You might worry about things going wrong, like a rainstorm during the outdoor ceremony, a vendor dropping the ball, or inappropriate behavior from a challenging relative or friend. You might stress about making sure everything’s perfect, from the decor to upholding traditions, and feel the need to try and make everyone else happy with these choices.
Weddings can also be expensive, so it’s normal to worry about costs, too, especially as you’re embarking on a new life chapter where finances are often merged.
Pre-wedding anxiety can also happen because of the changes that may come with getting married. You’re likely thrilled about your future together, but it’s natural to feel a bit nervous about changes like moving in together, combining finances, or even just the idea of being a married couple. Oftentimes, there’s even a grieving process for you (and sometimes your friends or family) to say goodbye to your single life.
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re not ready for marriage or that you don’t love your partner. Anxiety means you’re just a person who’s dealing with a big, exciting, and stressful life event.
5 common triggers for wedding anxiety
While some people are anxious about their big day, others might be nervous about what comes after. No matter what your trigger is, remember your feelings are valid.
1. Fear of things going wrong: It’s natural to worry about things not going as planned on your wedding day. You might stress about the weather, an unpredictable family member grabbing the mic at the reception, or forgetting the choreography to your first dance. Remember, though — some things may go awry, but the day will still be special for all the right reasons.
2. Perfectionism: If you’re a perfectionist, you might stress over every little detail, from the color of the flowers to the font on the invitation. Try to remind yourself that the day is about celebrating your love, not about everything being perfect.
3. Budget concerns: Weddings can be expensive, and you might worry about how much you’re spending. It’s okay to set limits and prioritize what matters most to you.
4. Family dynamics: Gathering some or all of your relatives together can add another layer of stress, especially if your family has a history of disagreeing and not getting along. To alleviate concerns, it can help to have a plan in place with your partner about how to handle any issues that might arise.
5. Life changes: You might worry about what married life will be like, how your relationship will change, or how you’ll adjust to new roles and responsibilities. These feelings are normal and a part of entering a new phase of life, so it’s okay to feel a mix of excitement and nerves as your wedding day approaches.
Explore these 20 ideas for taking restorative and mindful breaks during the planning process.
6 tips to soothe wedding jitters around your big day
Your dress is altered, your DJ is booked, and your invitations are in the mail. Still, your nerves are getting the best of you. Here are a few strategies to help stay calm before—and during—your big day.
1. Practice deep breathing to calm your nerves
When you start to feel anxious, take a moment to breathe. Try these seven breathing techniques to help you soothe anxiety before and during your wedding day. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Deep breathing can help slow your heart rate and relax your muscles, making you feel calmer almost instantly.
💙 Practice extending your exhale during the Breathe Into Relaxation session with Jay Shetty.
2. Stay organized to feel more in control
Keep a detailed checklist and timeline to help you stay on track with your wedding planning. Make note of all the important details to help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety.
3. Delegate tasks so you can focus on details that matter
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Hire a wedding planner or designate people from your wedding party, family, or friends to help with the preparations if they’re willing and don’t mind the responsibility. You’ll lighten your load and make the planning process more fun.
4. Focus on the positives whenever you get nervous
When negative thoughts creep in, gently shift your focus to the positives to help keep your anxiety in check. Focus on the love you and your partner share and the exciting future you’re building together. Remember that a wedding and a marriage are two different things, and this temporary stress will hopefully lead to a beautiful lifelong relationship.
💙 Stop the negative spiral in its tracks with this guided meditation to Slow the Swirl in Your Mind.
5. Take breaks to avoid feeling overwhelmed
Make time for relaxation and activities you enjoy. Whether it’s a walk in the park, reading a book, or spending time with friends, step away from wedding planning occasionally to keep you feeling balanced and recharged.
💙 Find your center to avoid stress and overwhelm with help from Tamara Levitt’s Mindful Walking meditation.
6. Talk to someone — and don’t be afraid to be honest
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, share your worries with your partner, a friend, family member, or a professional. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can help you feel less alone and more understood.
💙 Talk with trusted friends and family members by practicing Deeper Communication, which can help relieve unwanted stress and anxiety.
Wedding anxiety FAQs
Is wedding anxiety bad?
Having anxiety about your wedding isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just means that you care deeply about making the day special for you, your partner, and the people you love.
You might also be anxious about the life change that’s fast approaching. After all, you’re not just planning a party, you’re starting a new chapter of your life. It’s completely natural to feel a mix of emotions—happiness, excitement, and yes, anxiety too.
What if I don’t feel excited about my wedding?
Not feeling excited about your wedding can be worrying, but everyone experiences emotions differently. Stress and anxiety can sometimes overshadow feelings of excitement. Take time to reflect on your feelings and talk to a trusted friend or therapist about them.
It might help to take a break from planning and do something fun to help reignite your excitement for the big day. Or, you might consider tweaking your plans to make the details of the day more in line with what you want.
What if I get cold feet before the wedding?
Getting cold feet is a common feeling, and doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t get married. It’s natural to have doubts or fears when you’re making a big decision, so take some time to talk through your feelings with your partner, a friend, or a counselor. Think about the reasons you decided to get married and what makes your relationship great. Sometimes, just acknowledging your fears can help you move past them.
How can I talk to my partner about my wedding anxiety without causing worry?
Talking to your partner about your wedding anxiety can be a great way to feel more connected and supported. Find a calm moment when you can talk without distractions, and explain that your anxiety is about the event and not about your relationship. Share what you’re feeling concerned about so your partner can understand you, and they may even help find solutions. Being open and honest can strengthen your bond and help you both manage the stress together.
Are there any specific relaxation techniques for the night before the wedding?
When you need to unwind and get a good night’s sleep before your wedding, there are several relaxation techniques you can use.
Stretch out any tension in your body with gentle yoga.
Calm your mind with a few minutes of meditation or focusing on your breath.
Listen to soothing music or read a good book to help you relax.
How can I manage anxiety about family conflicts on the wedding day?
If you’re anxious about potential family conflicts on your wedding day, talk to your partner about any possible issues, and make a plan together for how to handle them.
Set boundaries and be clear about your expectations with family members ahead of time. And if you have a trusted family member who’s good at diffusing tension, consider asking them to act as a buffer if emotions run high.
On the day of the wedding, focus on your joy and love you’re celebrating. If conflicts do arise, take deep breaths and remind yourself that the day is about you and your partner.
What should I do if I feel overwhelmed on the wedding day?
If you start to feel overwhelmed on your wedding day, take a moment to breathe and regroup.
Find a quiet space where you can be alone or with a supportive person. Practice deep breathing or getting grounded — these 18 grounding techniques can help. Remind yourself of the joy and love that the day represents, and don’t be afraid to ask for a few minutes to gather your thoughts. Your wellbeing is important, so feel free to prioritize your self-care as much as you need.
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