What is acceptance? Plus, 9 tips to help you learn to let go

Mental Health

Aug 8

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Acceptance isn't always easy, but it is important. Learn what acceptance really is, why it matters for emotional wellbeing, and 9 tips to help you practice it daily.

“You just have to accept it,” is a piece of advice you’ve probably received at some point in your life. This well-meaning advice is handed out often after a tough breakup, missing out on an opportunity, or during one of those weeks when everything feels harder than it should. And even if it comes from a good place, it can make you feel worse — especially when you’re grieving, hurting, or overwhelmed.

Acceptance is one of those concepts that’s easy to talk about but hard to practice. It asks you to do the impossible: To make space for discomfort; to be honest about what you can’t change; to sit with reality when you’d rather run from it.

But contrary to popular belief, acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened. It means you're choosing to stop fighting the parts of life you can’t control.

Let’s break down why acceptance plays such a vital role in mental and emotional wellbeing and how you can begin to practice it.

What is acceptance?

At its core, acceptance is the act of recognizing what’s here, right now, without trying to push it away. It’s the moment you stop bracing against the wave and start learning how to float.

In practice, that could mean letting yourself grieve something you haven’t fully admitted you lost or recognizing the limits of a relationship. It might mean simply noticing that you’re overwhelmed and then deciding not to judge yourself for it.

Acceptance is an ongoing process that can change from day to day, and sometimes even hour to hour. One moment, you could feel calm, and the next, you could be right back in resistance. If this is something you struggle with, know that you’re not alone. The strength of acceptance is in its permission. It allows you to show up for your life, as it is.

Why is acceptance important?

Without acceptance, it can be easy to get stuck in a loop of what-ifs and should’ve-beens. That inner battle between how things are and how you think they should be can quietly wear you down, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, shame, and even emotional fatigue.

Acceptance can offer a way out of that loop. It doesn’t necessarily change your circumstances, but it can change how you relate to them. When you stop fighting reality, you free up energy to respond with more presence and care. You also make space to feel what’s real, regulate your emotions, and figure out what support looks like.

There’s solid science behind this, too. Acceptance is a central component in evidence-based therapies, like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). These approaches have been shown to help reduce anxiety and depression and increase distress tolerance.

But maybe the most meaningful reason to practice acceptance is that it can help you treat yourself with more compassion. It reminds you that you’re allowed to feel this and still take care of yourself, and that’s the kind of kindness that matters.

How to practice acceptance: 9 tips to help you let go

In theory, acceptance can seem pretty easy. But in reality, it can be a lot easier said than done, especially when you might not like the current place you’re in.

So, here are nine ways that can help you start on the road to acceptance, even when it feels hard.

1. Name what’s happening

Putting words to what you’re feeling, like “I’m sad,” “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I feel stuck,” can reduce the intensity of those feelings.

To shift your brain out of reactive mode, try saying your feelings out loud or writing them down. You could say something like, “This is grief,” or “This is me wanting things to be different.”

💙 Practice Labeling Emotions during this short session with Jay Shetty.

2. Allow your feelings without editing them

So many of us try to downplay what we feel or judge ourselves for being too much. But acceptance means letting your feelings be what they are.

If you’re hurt, let yourself be hurt. If you’re disappointed, don’t rush to feel grateful instead. You can want to feel better and still give your current emotion some breathing room.

3. Notice the stories you’re telling yourself

Our brains love to fill in the blanks with stories about what this moment says about us and about our general worth.

So start tuning into those narratives and ask yourself if these stories are true and if they're helpful. Then, get curious about what else could be possible.

💙 Explore how the inner Stories you tell shape how you see yourself in this session from the Relationship with Self series with Tamara Levitt.

4. Find your “both/and”

A core part of acceptance is making space for complexity. You can feel two things at once, and you can hold opposing truths. The next time you’re having trouble accepting something, try saying something like, “I’m grieving, and I’m still capable of joy,” or, “I’m scared, and I know I can take the next step.”

This “both/and” approach can help you avoid all-or-nothing thinking, and it also opens the door to more compassion.

5. Set boundaries with your inner critic

When your inner voice gets loud, try setting a boundary.

You can say something like, “That’s not helpful right now,” or “This part of me is scared, but I’m not going to let it decide everything.”

6. Pause the problem-solving

Many of us tend to treat uncomfortable emotions like problems to solve. But not everything can be fixed, and not every feeling needs a solution.

If your instinct is to fix or change something right away, see if you can take a step back and pause. Then ask yourself, “What if I don’t need to solve this right now? What if I just need to be with it?”

7. Engage your senses

When thoughts feel overwhelming, your body can help bring you back into the now.

To be more present, try the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding technique by naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

8. Ask what support looks like

Sometimes, the most accepting thing you can do is ask, “What do I need right now?” or, “What kind of support would help me care for myself in this moment?”

This could be calling a friend, taking a break, stretching, or crying. Oftentimes, acceptance looks like tending to your needs, even if the situation itself can’t change.

9. Practice acceptance in small, low-stakes moments

Try practicing acceptance in the everyday annoyances like traffic, spilled drinks, and plans that go all out of whack.

Each time you notice yourself resisting reality, take a beat and say, “This is not what I wanted. But it’s what’s happening.” Then breathe into it. These small moments then build your capacity for the bigger ones.

💙 Get yourself in the mindset to handle life’s imperfections and mishaps by listening to Acceptance with Jay Shetty.

What is acceptance FAQs

What is the meaning of acceptance?

Acceptance means acknowledging reality as it is without trying to fight it or fix it. It’s about recognizing what’s true in this moment and allowing it to exist without judgment.

This doesn’t mean always agreeing with what’s happening or resigning yourself to it forever. It simply means saying, “This is what’s here right now,” and allowing yourself to meet it with awareness rather than resistance.

How does acceptance work?

Acceptance works by helping you shift from a reactive state, where you’re resisting reality, and into a more responsive one.

When you stop using up energy to fight what’s already true, that energy becomes available for care and clarity. This process can then reduce emotional intensity, ease self-criticism, and create space for wiser action. It doesn’t make the hard stuff vanish, but it can change how you relate to it.

Is acceptance the same as giving up?

Giving up is about walking away or shutting down. On the flip side, acceptance is about facing what’s happening head-on.

It says, “I see what’s happening, and I’m choosing to respond with intention.” It typically coexists with grief, courage, and hope. It also allows you to move forward more skillfully.

Why is acceptance so hard sometimes?

Acceptance can be hard because it means turning towards emotions like grief, fear, uncertainty, and regret when everything in you might be trying to avoid them.

It can also challenge deeply held beliefs, like “This shouldn’t have happened” or “I can’t handle this.” But those reactions are natural. So, if you’re having a hard time with acceptance, remind yourself that allowing hard truths in doesn’t make you weak; it makes you brave.

What’s a simple way to practice acceptance?

A good way to practice acceptance is to notice when you’re struggling and name what’s true without judgment. You could say, “I’m feeling anxious right now,” or “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

Then, take a breath, and instead of rushing to change the feeling, just try softening into it. You don’t have to fix it. All you have to do is acknowledge it with care.

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Calm Editorial Team