Why are people greedy? Plus, 10 tips to help you handle them

Relationships

Nov 7

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

From survival instincts to social pressure, discover what drives greed, how it shapes choices and connections, and 10 practical tips for dealing with greedy people.

You’ve probably noticed it at a family dinner, in a meeting, or even in line at the store — someone reaching for more than their share. Maybe it’s the relative who takes credit for hosting when you did most of the work, or the coworker who always grabs the spotlight. These small moments of “too much” can sting, especially when they leave you or others feeling overlooked.

Greed often carries a heavy label, but it’s more than just selfishness. It’s tied to survival instincts, cultural values, and sometimes even fear. Understanding why people are greedy doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior, but it can make it easier to navigate when you’re coexisting with them.

Let’s break down what greed is, the psychology behind it, and how it shows up in relationships. You’ll also find practical tips for handling greedy people and tools you can use in everyday situations to protect your peace while keeping your connections intact.

What is greed?

Greed is the strong desire to have more than you truly need, often with little thought to how it affects others. Money is the most obvious example, but greed can also show up in the hunger for power, recognition, control, and even someone’s time and attention.

The tricky part about greed is that it’s not always easy to spot. Sometimes it can show up as a coworker taking credit for group work. Other times, it can show up as a friend who never chips in fairly for the bill. But these small patterns add up and slowly show how greed can be prioritized over balance or fairness.

Distinguishing ambition from greed can also help you understand when desire becomes destructive. Ambition pushes people to grow, learn, and achieve. But greed often involves clinging to resources or recognition, even when it damages trust and relationships.

Why are people greedy?

Though it may seem like pure self-interest at first, greed is typically a response to deeper emotional and societal forces. Here are four of the most common reasons why people tend to be greedy:

Survival instincts: Early humans needed to gather and store resources to survive. This ancient impulse to hold onto extra still lingers, even when lack of resources isn’t an immediate threat.
Fear of scarcity: People who have lived through instability, loss, or poverty may cling to what they have because they’re afraid of not having enough.
Cultural messages: Modern life often equates success with wealth, power, and status. And constant comparison, especially on social media, can push people to want more.
Personal insecurities: For some, greed is a way to quiet deeper fears of not being valued. Extra money, attention, and control can feel like proof that they matter.

The psychology behind greedy people

The way the brain responds to reward plays a big role in shaping greedy behavior.

When someone gains something they want, like money, praise, or possessions, the brain releases dopamine, the chemical associated with pleasure and motivation. And that rush of satisfaction can trigger a cycle of increased desire for more, even when the person already has plenty.

Additionally, research links greed to certain personality traits. People who place a high value on material wealth or who struggle with cooperation and empathy may be more prone to greedy behavior. But also, everyone’s environment is a driving force. Stressful and competitive settings that reward individual wins over teamwork can bring out greed even in people who don’t typically act that way.

6 effects of greed on relationships

When one person constantly prioritizes their own wants, the people around them often feel overlooked or used. This dynamic can then weaken relationships and create conflict.

Here are six ways greed can affect your relationships:

1. Strained trust: When someone regularly takes more than their share, trust can break down. For instance, a friend who borrows without repaying may leave you second-guessing future favors.

2. Conflict over resources: Greedy behavior often creates tension around money, time, and emotional support. In relationships, prioritizing one's own needs first can leave the other person feeling resentful.

3. Imbalance in giving and receiving: Healthy connections rely on give and take. When one person only takes, the other may end up feeling exhausted and undervalued.

4. Erosion of empathy: Greed can narrow focus to personal wants. This can make it harder to notice or respond to others’ needs, which, over time, can weaken emotional closeness.

5. Competition instead of cooperation: In families or workplaces, greed can shift focus from shared goals to rivalry. And collaboration suffers when recognition, resources, and control become battlegrounds.

6. Weakened community bonds: On a broader scale, greed can erode the sense of belonging within groups. When people consistently put personal gain ahead of collective wellbeing, communities struggle to stay strong and connected.

How to handle greedy people: 10 tips to help you cope

Dealing with greedy people can be emotionally exhausting and confusing. But there are still ways you can protect your energy and set healthy boundaries. Here are 10 tips to help you handle greedy people and stay grounded.

1. Name the behavior, not the person

It can be easy to be triggered when someone takes more than their share. As best as you can, focus on what happened and how it affects you instead of labeling someone as greedy.

Try this: In a situation when you feel triggered, consider saying something like, “When the group gift came up, you asked me to cover the extra again. I feel stressed taking on more than my share.”

2. Set clear, measurable boundaries

When someone constantly pushes limits, clarity can become your best tool. So, be direct about what you can and can’t do, and make it specific.

Try this: If someone is acting greedily at work, you could say, “I’m happy to review two slides, but not the whole deck.”

💙 Explore how to set Boundaries during this meditation with Tamara Levitt from the Calm app.

3. Move from verbal vibes to written rules

Clear expectations make greedy patterns harder to continue. But sign-ups, shared documents, and quick recap emails can turn vague agreements into visible commitments and make it easier to hold people accountable without constant confrontation.

Try this: Write a work email like, “Recap from today: Alex leads, Priya designs, I analyze. We’ll list contributors on slide 1.”

4. Use if/then agreements

In situations where give-and-take feels one-sided, structure can protect your energy. To put this into practice, make your support conditional on fairness or follow-through.

Try this: Say an if/then statement to your less-than-generous loved one like, “If we split the chores evenly this week, then I’ll take on the grocery run on Saturday.”

5. Stop rewarding the pattern

Greedy behavior often continues because it works. But if you avoid stepping in to cover gaps, then you won’t reinforce this behavior.

Try this: If a teammate takes all the credit at work, consider calmly saying in the meeting, “This was a joint effort. Maria handled research, and I did analysis.”

💙 Feeling used? Explore Calm’s session A Secret to Better Boundaries with Jeff Warren.

6. Offer choices that respect your line

People are more likely to engage respectfully when they feel like they have some control. And choices make boundaries feel less rigid while still protecting your limits.

Try this: The next time that one friend asks to hang out, consider saying, “I can host for two hours, or I can bring dessert. Which helps more?”

7. Acknowledge scarcity fears without giving in

A strong desire to hold on or take more often comes from a deeper fear of not having enough. So, where you can, validate this fear while also holding your line.

Try this: Acknowledge your loved one by saying something like, “I hear you’re worried about coming up short. I still can’t cover extra rent, but I can help you look at a budget this weekend.”

8. Be specific about consequences

Patterns of overstepping often continue when there’s no clear feedback or follow-through. To make your expectations extra clear, calmly state what will happen if the pattern continues, and then stick to it.

Try this: Communicate your desires by saying something like, “If the team credits aren’t listed, I will wait to send the final file once they are.” Then make sure to actually do this.

9. Reinforce fair behavior

Notice and acknowledge when things are done fairly, since people often repeat what gets recognized. Even small affirmations can encourage more balanced and respectful interactions over time.

Try this: When that certain co-worker does a good job, consider saying something like, “Thanks for adding everyone’s names to the report. That felt really fair.”

10. Pay attention to your stress signals

Greedy dynamics can trigger people-pleasing or anxiety. When you feel this arise, take a moment to ground yourself and then notice what’s coming up in your body.

Try this: When you get stressed from a greedy individual, use a script like, “I’ll check my schedule and get back to you later.” This creates more breathing room and allows for more thoughtful responses.

Why are people greedy FAQs

What causes a person to be greedy?

Most of the time, greed grows out of a mix of human instincts and lived experiences. Our brains are wired to seek more resources because, in the past, survival depended on having enough food, tools, and shelter. And that ancient survival instinct still lingers today, even if some of these threats are less immediate.

Experiences like growing up in poverty, facing sudden loss, and living in a culture that prizes wealth and status can also fuel the desire to cling tightly to more. Insecurity, whether financial or emotional, is another major factor that can lead people to reach for excess to feel safe or valued.

How can you tell if someone is being greedy?

If someone consistently takes more than their share—whether it’s money, recognition, or time—without balancing it with fairness, it is a sign of greed.

Another signal is if they resist compromise, avoid giving back, or consistently make choices that prioritize their gain over others’ needs.

If you notice that after spending time with them, you feel drained or like the relationship is one-sided, then this is a good indicator that they’re greedy, that you need some space, or that you need better boundaries with them.

Can greed ever be a good thing?

Greed itself can (and usually does) cause harm, but the underlying drive behind it can sometimes overlap with ambition. For example, wanting more can push someone to work hard, save money, and pursue big goals.

The difference is in balance. Ambition can motivate growth while still respecting fairness. Unchecked greed, on the other hand, tends to strain trust and create conflict. So, while extra drive can spark your progress, too much can tip into behavior that damages both your wellbeing and your connections.

What is the difference between greed and ambition?

Ambition and green can look similar from the outside, but their intentions and impacts differ. Ambition is about striving toward goals while still leaving space for others to grow as well.

On the flip side, greed focuses on hoarding or taking more than is needed, often without regard for fairness or the impact on others. In short, ambition builds, while greed tends to consume.

How do I protect myself from greedy people without cutting them off completely?

You don’t always need to walk away from a relationship with someone who is greedy. But you do need to set some boundaries and clarify your expectations. To do this, decide in advance what you’re willing to give to them and then communicate it calmly. After that, use tools like bill-splitting apps, shared calendars, or sign-up sheets to keep fairness visible and automatic.

Most importantly, when possible, limit situations where their behavior directly impacts you, while still engaging in areas of the relationship that feel healthy. This way, you preserve the connection without losing your sense of balance.

Calm your mind. Change your life.

Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.

greed

Calm Editorial Team