How to cheer someone up: 5 ways to help a friend feel better
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn why cheering people up can be supportive, and how being nice can make someone feel better. Plus, 9 tips to cheer someone up (including yourself).
When someone we care about is feeling down, it's natural to want to help lift their spirits. Trying to cheer someone up can be a way of showing empathy and support during their tough times. Whether it's a friend, family member, or colleague, our efforts to brighten someone's day can have a significant impact on their wellbeing.
Why cheering people up can be supportive if they’re experiencing low mood or depression
When someone’s going through a tough time, taking time to show them we care can make a big difference. Cheering someone up can be a way of showing that we understand what they’re going through, or at least the impact it’s having on them. This kind of support can be especially helpful for people who are experiencing low mood or depression—it's a way of letting them know they’re not alone.
How to know if someone is experiencing low mood or depression
Low mood and depression can affect people in different ways. It’s not always easy to spot, but there are some signs that can give us a clue that someone might be struggling.
Frequent irritability: They might be quick to anger or feel frustrated more easily than usual, even over seemingly small things.
Loss of interest in activities they usually love: Withdrawing from favorite activities is a telltale sign of depression.
Sleep disturbances: People with depression can have difficulty falling or staying asleep and even struggle with insomnia.
Anxiety: Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is a common symptom of depression or low mood and is a diagnosis in and of itself.
Changes in appetite: A depressed mood can disrupt your appetite. You can either feel compelled to eat more food, often comfort foods, or you might not be able to eat at all.
Lack of energy: People with depression or low mood can often feel tired more frequently than normal, making it challenging to keep plans, routine, and even show up and stay engaged at work.
Trouble concentrating or making decisions: A decreased ability to focus is a common symptom of low mood or depression.
The benefits of cheering someone up
Even a small act of kindness can give someone a break from their negative thoughts, which can be a boost for their mental health. But the benefits of cheering someone up aren’t just for the other person. Taking the time to support someone shows them that you truly care, which can ultimately strengthen your relationship with them. And these acts of kindness can inspire others to do the same, which may create a more supportive and understanding community around you.
If you’re trying to cheer someone up, here are 5 things to avoid
While it's important to know how to cheer someone up, it's equally crucial to understand what not to do. Sometimes, our best intentions can inadvertently make someone feel worse. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you can be a more effective and empathetic friend.
Recognize when to simply witness: Understand that there are times when trying to cheer someone up isn’t helpful. In these moments, the best support you can offer is to be present with them in their feelings, acknowledging their right to feel as they do without trying to change it.
Avoid interrupting them: When someone’s sharing their feelings, listen actively and attentively. Interrupting them can make them feel like their feelings are not important. Instead, give them your full attention and listen to understand, not just to respond.
Don’t invalidate their feelings: Acknowledge their emotions. It's easy to say things like "It's not that bad," or "You'll get over it," but this can make the person feel like their emotions aren’t valid. Instead, acknowledge their feelings with responses like, "I can see why you would feel that way."
Be cautious about oversharing positivity: Do your best to not be overly cheerful. While it’s good to be positive, being overly cheerful or sharing how well things are going for you can sometimes make the other person feel worse. Instead, focus on being empathetic and understanding their situation.
Don’t assume their needs: It's not always clear whether someone wants to be alone or wants company. Don’t assume what they need. It’s always better to ask. Asking them if they’d like company or would prefer time alone can show that you’re considerate of their needs.
5 ways to cheer someone up and make them feel better
Taking an action to help someone feel better can be a simple, yet profound, gesture. Start by asking the person how you can support them, and then use the suggestions below when appropriate.
1. Send a handwritten note
Personalize your care. In the digital age, a handwritten note can feel very special. Write a message that expresses your support and care. It could be a simple note that says, "Thinking of you," or sharing a happy memory you both cherish.
💙 Connection is essential to the human experience. Explore the positive aspects of Strengthening Relationships in this guided meditation with Tamara Levitt.
2. Try new activities together
Doing something different can be a great distraction and can help create positive memories. Suggest an activity that's new to both of you, like a cooking class or a nature hike you’ve never done.
💙 Let this meditation help you stop Trying to Be Perfect and embrace the vulnerability of doing something new, and the connection and wellbeing that can create.
3. Bring them their favorite food
A favorite meal or treat can be a great way to show you care. It can be as simple as picking up their favorite snack or cooking a meal for them. Plus, exploring the benefits of mindful eating together can be an excellent way to slow down, live in the moment, and enjoy your meal (and the company).
💙 Learn more about how mindful eating works with our Mindful Eating Series.
4. Plan a movie night
Watching a movie can provide a welcome distraction. Ask your friend what movie they’ve been wanting to see lately or what their comfort film is, and make a date out of it! If they’re up for going to the movies, that could be a great lowkey outing. If not, movie nights at home are always healing, too.
5. Send a thoughtful or funny text
A text message can be a quick way to show you’re thinking of them. It could be a funny meme, an inspiring quote, or just a message to check in. Think about what kind of message might make them smile or feel supported.
💙 Explore what it means to be a good friend with the Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendships series by Kate Johnson.
How to cheer yourself up
Sometimes, we’re the ones who need a little lift in spirits. Knowing how to cheer yourself up can help you navigate tough times. It's okay to have days when you're not feeling your best, but taking steps to cheer yourself up can help you feel better in the moment and improve your overall wellbeing. By practicing these self-care strategies, you can help yourself bounce back and enjoy life’s brighter moments.
1. Make a home-cooked meal you love
Preparing a favorite meal can be a soothing and rewarding experience. The process of cooking can be calming, and there's a sense of achievement in creating something delicious.
2. Spend time with an animal
If you have a pet, spending time with them can be incredibly uplifting—animals can offer comfort and companionship without judgment. If you don’t have a pet, consider visiting a friend who has one, or spend some time volunteering at a local animal shelter.
3. Increase your heart rate through movement
Movement releases chemicals in our brains which are thought to act as natural mood lifters. It doesn’t have to be intense. Choose an activity that you enjoy. Even a walk around the block or a short yoga session can make a difference in your overall mood.
4. Express your feelings in a journal
Writing down what’s on your mind can be a great way to process your feelings, and can help you understand and manage your emotions better. Write whatever comes to mind, without worrying about structure or grammar.
How to cheer someone up FAQs
How do I cheer someone up over text?
Cheering someone up over text can be a subtle, yet effective, way of showing you care. Start by sending a message that shows you're thinking about them. This could be a simple "How are you doing today?" to open up a conversation. You can also send a funny meme, a heartfelt quote, or a photo of something that made you think of them. The key is to keep the conversation light and positive, showing them you're there for support. Be responsive to their replies and offer words of encouragement without being pushy. Texting can bridge distances and bring a smile to someone's face with just a few thoughtful words.
What do I say to someone to cheer them up?
Finding the right words to cheer someone up can be challenging, but sincerity is key. It's important to be genuine and listen actively, showing them that their feelings are valid and they're not alone.
Start by acknowledging their feelings: "I see you're having a hard time, and that's okay."
Offer support without trying to fix their problem: "I'm here for you if you need to talk or just sit in silence."
Share a positive memory: "Remember when we [shared experience]? You were amazing!"
Give a compliment to lift their spirits: "I've always admired your [positive quality]."
How do you cheer someone up in words?
Cheering someone up involves empathy and understanding. Aim to make them feel heard and supported.
Show you care and are there to support them: "I'm here for you, no matter what you need.”
Avoid minimizing their feelings with phrases like: "It could be worse.”
Validate their emotions: "It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and that must be really hard."
Encourage them: "You've overcome challenges before, and I believe you’ll overcome this."
What is the best way to cheer you up?
The best way to cheer yourself up varies from person to person, as everyone's needs and preferences are different. It can be helpful to reflect on what brings you joy. For some, it might be engaging in a hobby or activity they love, like reading, painting, or playing a sport. Others might find comfort in talking to a friend, watching a favorite movie, or spending time in nature. It's important to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up, and understand that it's okay not to be okay sometimes. Experiment with different activities and see what works best for you in lifting your spirits.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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