How to find happiness: 9 simple and helpful tips
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Life is all about the pursuit of happiness, but how do you really go about finding it? Discover 9 habits to help you build a happier life.
The pursuit of a happy life is a universal human goal that nearly everyone on this planet has. It transcends cultural, societal, and geographical boundaries. It’s kind of wonderful to realize that no matter how different humans are from one another we all seek happiness instinctually. It’s a pursuit that is deeply ingrained in our nature.
While we all strive to be happy, it’s important to remember that happiness is only one emotion, and we don’t have to feel it all the time. Trying to be happy all the time can sometimes do more harm than good, because it’s an impossible pursuit. No one person can be happy every moment of their life. With that said, staying in the moment, even in the face of other big feelings, can have a beneficial effect on your overall happiness so let’s explore how to be authentically happy IRL.
9 habits to help you find happiness within yourself
1. Practice mindfulness and meditation
One of the best ways to find happiness is to stay in the moment and really feel your life as you’re living it. Learning to stay present in the moment can lead to better overall happiness and that’s where mindfulness comes in.
Meditation and other mindfulness tools like breath work, body scans and loving-kindness meditation can help you to stay in the moment.
💙 Try 7 Days of Calm to learn the basics of mindfulness and meditation.
2. Take care of your body
We hear all the time that our body is a temple and it’s worth being reminded of that occasionally. Feeding our bodies nourishing foods, moving our bodies when we can, allowing ourselves time for rest. All of these are crucial to living a happy life and should not be skipped over.
💙 Part of taking care of your body involves movement and eating mindfully. You can practice daily mindful movement practices with The Daily Move, and you can learn more about eating mindfully with our Mindful Eating masterclass.
3. Write down your feelings
Human beings feel so many feelings over the course of our lives, and sometimes many feelings over the course of a single day. Sometimes figuring out what we’re feeling is hard, but talking about them or writing down how we feel can help.
By expressing how you’re feeling, you’re allowing yourself time and space to acknowledge your feelings and really process them which means you’re less likely to build resentments and more likely to feel content.
💙 If you’re having trouble pinpointing or expressing your feelings, you can download our Feelings Wheel to help.
4. Practice decluttering
Keeping your space clean can help you feel happier. Studies have shown that those who describe their homes as messy, cluttered, or dirty tend to feel more depressive and melancholy.
Having a clean space can boost your self-esteem, making you feel more accomplished, grounded and happy. So if you find that your happiness has taken a dip, consider cleaning up your space. This might look like donating clothes you never wear and cleaning out your closet, cleaning up your workspace, or simply doing dishes before going to bed each night.
5. Practice gratitude
What we focus our attention on can really impact our overall emotional experience. Rather than focusing on what you may be lacking or what feels like it’s missing, try making a list of all the things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t mean you can’t wish to have more or be more successful, but practicing gratitude helps you stay in the moment where you can celebrate the abundance you already have in your life. If making a gratitude list isn’t your vibe, try a happiness journal instead.
💙 To learn more about creating a gratitude practice, explore our Gratitude series.
6. Set attainable goals
Another way to boost self-esteem is to watch yourself achieve mini-successes. If you have a to-do list that’s a mile long with difficult and complex goals then you’ll feel like a failure every time you don’t achieve one of those goals. By contrast there is power in watching yourself achieve smaller steps more consistently. An example of this might look like setting a goal to go for a long walk or run once or twice a week rather than insisting that you wake up tomorrow and train for a marathon.
7. Allow yourself to feel the joys in life fully
This falls under the category of being mindful and staying in the moment. Even during challenging times there are plenty of moments of joy to be had. Maybe you’ve found yourself in a tough spot where you’re struggling with work, or in between jobs. If you’re in that situation but you still find yourself abundant with friends and family who love you then focus on the joy in that. By focusing on the existing joys you’re experiencing you keep your focus positive which can help you feel happier overall.
8. Make time to do the things you enjoy
Feeling happy comes hand-in-hand with doing the things that give you joy. It’s important to make time to do the things you love. While achieving your goals can make you feel accomplished and happy, it’s important to achieve work-life balance. Keeping those relationships with your loved ones prioritized helps increase feelings of joy and ensures that you have a strong support system for when times get tough.
💙 It can be hard sometimes to manage relationships when life gets busy and stressful. Explore our Relationships with Others series.
9. Don’t forget to breathe
Studies show that deep, mindful breathing can help reduce physical tension, as well as emotional stress and anxiety. The less tense you feel, the happier you’ll be. While deep breathing can help you to feel more grounded and centered, there are a few other breath practices that can really help boost happiness.
One of the simplest techniques to employ is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. If you’re feeling stressed or tense, try breathing in for the count of 4, holding for the count of 7 and breathing out for a count of 8. Repeat as necessary.
💙 You can employ this technique at night as well if you’re getting ready for bed. Try Soften into Sleep with Chibs Okereke.
Discover happiness
To further uncover ways to hack happiness, check out Calm’s Discovering Happiness masterclass, where Shawn Achor shares five simple daily habits that can shift you into a happier life, regardless of the circumstances you may find yourself in today.
How to find happiness FAQS
Why is happiness so hard to find?
Everyone wants to find happiness but in a world that can feel busy and overwhelming it can be hard to feel like you’re being happy the right way. The truth is there’s no right way to be happy, the best way is to try and stay present and mindful in your life. Simple mindfulness practices like breath work or working with gratitude can help you feel more overall happiness, even on difficult days.
Is it normal not to feel happiness?
Happiness is simply one emotion on a broad spectrum of emotions and feelings we all have during the course of our lives. Not feeling happy is totally normal and even for those who seem like “happy people” other feelings still come into play. Burying feelings isn’t good for your overall wellbeing. If you feel sad, don’t hide from that feeling, really feel it, let it wash over you, process it, and then it will pass and you’ll move back towards a happier place.
Why am I avoiding happiness?
Sometimes soaking in the good means acknowledging that the bad could come in. Life is all about the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows and when you’re happy it’s not uncommon to worry that something bad is about to happen. But hiding from joy doesn’t protect you from the difficult moments in life. You simply cannot outsmart life’s tougher moments. So much of life is out of your control and it’s important to really soak up those good moments. Imagine that every time you allow yourself to sink into feeling happy you’re filling up your joy bucket so that when life gets tough again, you have those reserves to power you forward.
What are the 3 keys to a happy life?
There are many keys to a happy life but three of the biggest ones are practicing mindfulness and staying in the moment, connection with other people, and practicing gratitude. These are the easiest ways to connect with the life we’re already living, rather than focusing on a past we may regret or a future we may fear.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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