How to make long-distance relationships work? Try these 9 tips
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore guidelines and tips for making long-distance relationships work. Plus, 8 date ideas for a long-distance relationship that will keep the love alive.
Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time and you find yourselves living in two totally different places. Or maybe you’re in an existing relationship and one person has to move for work or school and the other is firmly planted elsewhere. In these instances you might find yourself navigating long-distance relationship territory.
Navigating a long-distance relationship can be challenging, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and deepening bonds. It’s normal to feel a mix of uncertainty and optimism as you figure out how to maintain a connection with your partner when you’re separated by miles.
How are long-distance relationships different?
Aside from the distance that separates you from your partner, long-distance relationships share many similarities with other relationships. At its simplest, a relationship is a bond between two people who care for and support each other, and it requires commitment, love, and a willingness to work through challenges. This in and of itself doesn’t require physical proximity, but when you're in the same place, sharing experiences and communicating face-to-face often increases emotional intimacy.
Being apart can bring challenges that you might need to overcome. But, many couples find that distance can actually strengthen their relationship. It can encourage improved communication and a deeper understanding of each other outside of the physical side of the relationship.
With the right approach, a long-distance relationship can be just as fulfilling as any other. But, since every relationship is unique, what works for one couple might not work for another.
8 long-distance relationship date ideas to help you stay connected
Keep your relationship exciting and full of new experiences—despite the distance—with these date ideas designed to maintain a sense of closeness and togetherness.
1. Organize a virtual movie night
Pick a movie you both love or want to see, and watch it together while on a video call, or while texting. You can share your reactions and discuss the plot as if you were sitting beside each other.
2. Play online games together
Choose games that you both enjoy and can play online. Whether a simple puzzle game or a complex video game, it's a fun way to spend time together and engage in a little friendly competition.
3. Try an old school mixtape
Music can express emotions in ways words sometimes can’t. Make playlists for each other that capture your feelings or remind you of special moments. Sharing music, and how it makes you feel, is a great way to connect with each other on a long distance date.
4. Cook or bake together over video call
Decide on a recipe, set up your devices in the kitchen, and start cooking or baking at the same time. Together you can experience new flavors and share a meal, even from afar.
5. Plan virtual tours
Explore new places by taking virtual tours of museums, galleries, or cities. Many institutions offer online tours, and these can be a great way to experience culture and adventure together.
6. Have a question and answer night
Prepare a list of questions to ask each other. They can range from fun and light-hearted to deep and meaningful. This can help you learn new things about each other and deepen your connection.
7. Watch the same sunrise or sunset
If you're in similar time zones, watch the sunrise or sunset together. If you’re in different time zones, find something else you can do simultaneously, like stargazing. Sharing the moment over a video call can be a simple, yet profound, way to feel connected.
8. Start a book club for two
Choose a book to read together and set times to discuss it, just like a book club. This can lead to new conversations and shared experiences.
9 mindful tips to make a long-distance relationship work
There are plenty of ways you and your partner can stay connected and nurture your bond—no matter the distance—to make your long-distance relationship more robust and fulfilling.
1. Embrace technology
In a long-distance relationship, physical distance obviously plays a significant role. Without the option of spontaneity—you can’t just decide to go for a walk or have dinner together—you have to find new ways to maintain your connection. Technology can help with this, as regular phone calls, facetime/video call dates, messages and voice notes can help bridge the gap. As you share your day-to-day life with your partner, the distance can feel smaller.
💙 Explore this technique from Jay Shetty on how to uncover Deeper Communication between you and your partner no matter the distance.
2. Check-in daily
Start and end your day with a simple message or call. This routine can help maintain a sense of normalcy and keep you both involved in each other's lives. It can be helpful to establish a time you’ll check-in so that each partner can make time and space for this time of connection. It’s all about communicating your needs and meeting halfway.
💙 Practice asking yourself and your partner the right questions to enable growth and closeness with our daily Check-In.
3. Listen and communicate mindfully
The lack of physical presence might mean you need to put extra effort into understanding each other's feelings and needs. Communication is more than just talking—it's about making sure your partner feels heard and valued, so always be clear and open in your conversations. Make sure that you and your partner set ground rules for the time you’ll be long-distance. How often will you talk? How long without communicating feels okay? Knowing you’re on the same page means one person is less likely to feel disappointed or hurt if the communication doesn’t align with expectations.
💙 Practice the art of Listening mindfully with Tamara Levitt in her Relationships with Others meditation series.
4. No detail is too small
Sometimes, chatting about the little things in your day can help you feel like you’re just living life together as normal. Not every conversation needs to be a big, deep, emotional one. Sharing the day-to-day details may make you feel more involved in each other’s lives and reduce the feeling of distance.
💙 Try this meditation on The Delicate Art of Noticing to practice paying attention to the small details and emotions that you can share with your partner from afar.
5. Plan for the future
The truth is you can’t maintain a long-distance relationship forever, so make sure there’s an end in sight, or at least planned visits coming up in your future. Having a set date for seeing each other next can give you both something to look forward to. It helps to keep the relationship goal-oriented and hopeful. In tough or lonely moments, try to remember it won’t always be like this. And if it feels like the long-distance doesn’t have an end date, communicate with your partner about if this will work for you both.
6. Focus on the positives
Spending all of the time you’re apart wallowing in how hard it is to have distance separating you isn’t going to benefit you. While it’s important to feel your feelings, try no to let yourself get stuck in them. Shift into gratitude by recognizing the unique advantages of a long-distance relationship, like having more time for personal growth and friendships, and learning to communicate more effectively. Make a list of the fun, unique aspects of your relationship that you can focus on during times of loneliness.
💙 Keep your head up with the help of Shawn Achor in this talk on Discovering Happiness.
7. Stay in tune with your feelings
Self-awareness can be very beneficial in a long-distance relationship, so use mindfulness techniques like journaling or therapy to better understand and express your emotions. If you find that the distance is weighing you down and you can’t pull yourself out of those feelings, it could be time for an honest talk with your partner or a scheduled session with a mental health professional.
💙 Let this short Emotions Check-in help you find ease with however you’re feeling right now.
8. Establish clear boundaries
Trust and patience become even more important for a long-distance couple. Trusting your partner and being patient with the challenges that come with the distance can help strengthen your shared emotional connection, even when you can't be physically close. Be open about your expectations and needs. Having boundaries can help build trust and respect in the relationship.
💙 Discover how to set, establish, and maintain Healthy Boundaries with the help of Jeff Warren.
9. Utilize the mail
Surprise your partner with cards, or maybe even small gifts that show you're thinking of them. These can be anything from a handwritten note to having their favorite meal delivered to them. Just be sure that anything sent to them stays in balance. You don’t want to accidentally bombard your partner with take-out every day just because you miss them.
Long distance relationship FAQs
Do long-distance relationships last?
Long-distance relationships can last and be just as successful as relationships where couples live close to each other. Success in a long-distance relationship depends on strong communication, trust, and commitment from both partners, so make sure you regularly share your feelings, plans, and experiences. Many couples find that overcoming the challenges of distance strengthens their relationship in the long run. Every relationship has unique dynamics, and long-distance relationships can thrive.
Can long-distance relationships work?
Long-distance relationships can work very well. They can require more effort in terms of communication and planning, but many couples find this extra effort makes their bond even stronger. To make a long-distance relationship work, it's crucial to maintain open and honest communication, set realistic expectations, and keep the relationship exciting through virtual dates and visits. Technology today makes it easier to stay connected, and with dedication and understanding, long-distance relationships can be deeply fulfilling.
How do you maintain a long-distance relationship?
Maintaining a long-distance relationship involves consistent communication, trust, and creativity in finding ways to feel connected. It's important to talk regularly, share your thoughts and feelings openly, and listen to your partner's needs. Planning visits and having a clear idea of the future of your relationship also helps. Including your partner in your daily life through texts, calls, and sharing photos or videos can make you feel closer. The key is nurturing your relationship and staying committed to each other, even when you’re apart.
Is 3 hours considered a long-distance relationship?
Whether three hours apart constitutes a long-distance relationship depends on the couple and their circumstances. If traveling those three hours is a challenge and you can’t see each other often, it might be considered long-distance. The main factor is not the specific number of hours or miles apart but how the distance affects your ability to spend time together. If seeing each other requires similar effort and planning to a typical long-distance relationship, it could be viewed as such—the key is how you maintain your connection.
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