Here's why emotional intelligence is so important
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn why emotional intelligence is important and how to develop your level of EQ using our 7 strategies. Plus, the benefits of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence—also known as EQ—helps you handle emotions, connect with people, make good choices, and stay calm when life gets complicated. Emotional intelligence is one of the factors that allows people to navigate complex social situations with ease or maintain composure under pressure. Research has shown that our success in life is 80% EQ and only 20% IQ. And the best part is that emotional intelligence is a skill you can build.
It’s crucial to understand the key components of emotional intelligence so you can build your EQ and reap the benefits.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is about being smart with feelings — your own and others peoples’. It's understanding why you might be happy one minute and frustrated the next, or why your friend is looking a bit down even though they're saying everything's fine.
Life is all about emotions and how we handle them. And emotional intelligence is what helps you read and understand all the emotional data you're receiving and sending. It helps us work together with our loved ones, colleagues, and wider society in good times and bad. So, learning how to understand emotions is a skill that we can always stand to improve.
When you're emotionally intelligent (have a high EQ), you’re better able to:
Figure out your own emotions
Respond appropriately to other people’s emotions
The components of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence has many vital components you’ll need to understand in order to develop your EQ. As you work to strengthen each aspect, you’ll likely become more emotionally intelligent.
Self-awareness
High emotional intelligence is about knowing yourself and understanding your true feelings, why you react a certain way, and what makes you tick. When you're self-aware, you understand your moods and are better able to respond appropriately instead of reacting, which can help you make decisions with more clarity and ease.
Self-regulation
Self-regulation is your ability to soothe your nervous system when you’re in a hot emotional state. It stops you from reacting angrily or becoming impulsive when you're excited. Self-regulation is what helps you manage your emotions, not the other way round, and it’s a key component in overall mental wellbeing.
Motivation
Motivation is your inner cheerleader. It gets you out of bed in the morning and keeps you going, even when things are tough. When you're motivated, you have a purpose, you're focused on your goals, and you don't give up easily.
Empathy
Empathy is what lets you tune into other people's emotions. It's understanding and sharing what others feel that helps you connect with them better. When you're empathetic, friends and family might say you're a great listener or really get them.
Social skills
These are the tools you use to build and keep good relationships. It's knowing how to communicate, play well with others, and resolve conflicts. Good social skills mean you're often the person who glues the group together.
The benefits of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence matters because it touches every part of your life, and it can have many benefits.
Understanding and relating to others: Emotional intelligence helps you connect with people. When you understand your emotions and can read others’, you're usually better at making friends, working in teams, forgiving others, and getting along with family. It's what makes relationships smoother, deeper and more meaningful.
Communicating effectively: With a good grip on emotional intelligence, you’re better equipped to know how to express your feelings, and understand what others are really saying, even when they're not using words. This makes chats, meetings, and even tough conversations flow more easily.
Boosting compassion: Someone with high emotional intelligence is typically able to put themselves in someone else's shoes and meet others with more compassion. This kind of understanding makes the world a kinder, warmer place.
Making smarter decisions: Increased emotional intelligence may correlate with improved critical thinking. With emotional intelligence, you can pause, reflect, and choose the best course of action, even when you're tempted to do something in the heat of the moment. This has a ripple effect in several areas — EQ may even associated with better health.
Staying strong: Life can sometimes throw curveballs. Being emotionally intelligent means you're better at catching and tossing them back. You’re better able to handle stress, adapt to change, and bounce back from setbacks.
How to develop emotional intelligence: 7 ways to boost your EQ
Boosting your emotional intelligence isn't rocket science. You just need practice and a bit of patience as you explore the seven tips below.
1. Be open to feedback
When someone gives you feedback, take it in. Don't get defensive. Use it as a chance to learn and grow. Constructive feedback doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just a way to help you grow. It is also appropriate to have moments in life where you can express that you’re not looking for feedback.
2. Take accountability
Be responsible for what you do and how you feel. If you make a mistake, admit it. If you're feeling down, acknowledge it. Sometimes naming your feelings or behaviors can help you acknowledge and process them better.
💙 Connect with what you’re actually feeling and practice Labeling Emotions during the Daily Jay.
3. Hone your listening skills
Really listen when people talk. Don't just wait for your turn to speak. Active listening is about hearing what they're saying and trying to understand where they're coming from.
💙 Explore this session on Listening from our Relationship with Others series.
4. Reflect on how your response to stressful moments
After a challenging situation, think about how you reacted. Was your reaction helpful? Could you do something differently next time? This isn’t about beating yourself up, it’s about learning what helps you build your mental strength.
💙 For the moments when stress starts to get the better of you, take 2 minutes to Pump the Brakes on Stress.
5. Stay in the moment
Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to what's happening right now, not what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.
💙 If practicing mindfulness is new to you, check out 7 Days of Calm to get you started.
6. Learn to disagree without fighting
When you don't see eye to eye with someone, talk it out calmly. Try to understand their point of view and explain yours without getting heated. It’s not always possible to stay level headed. If you find your frustration building, take a break and revisit the conversation when you’re feeling calmer.
💙 Learn more about frustration and anger with this guided practice from the Daily Calm.
7. Take time to cultivate supportive relationships
Surround yourself with people who lift you up and who you connect with emotionally. Having emotionally intelligent relationships can help you to be even more emotionally intelligent yourself.
💙 Learn how to nurture your close relationships with this meditation from the Relationship with Others series.
Why is emotional intelligence important? FAQs
Where is emotional intelligence needed?
Emotional intelligence is important in all kinds of situations. Whether you're chatting with friends, working on a group project, or just trying to understand your feelings, having emotional intelligence can support you. It's like a key that helps unlock better relationships, smoother conversations and a happier you.
What is emotional intelligence in simple words?
Emotional intelligence is being smart with your feelings and the feelings of others. And using this knowledge to manage your life in a better way. Being in tune with your emotions can make your life and the lives of those around you brighter and more connected.
What are the consequences of lack of emotional intelligence?
Not having enough emotional intelligence can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and lonely moments. Without it, it's harder to make friends, work well with others, and even understand yourself—everything seems more complex and less clear.
How can emotional intelligence help individuals?
Emotional intelligence can help you make friends, keep your cool, make smart choices, and feel good about yourself. It's also great for solving problems, whether they're big or small. With emotional intelligence, you're more likely to lead a happier, more connected, and more successful life.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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