Matrescence: how to navigate the transition into motherhood

Personal GrowthWomen's Health

Nov 10

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Matrescence is the physical, emotional, and social changes a woman experiences when becoming a mom. Explore 7 mindful ways to navigate this sensitive time with care.

You knew that life would change after you had a baby — but did you expect you to change, too? Between the sleepless nights, the flood of advice, and the moments when everything feels completely unfamiliar, it can be hard to recognize yourself. In fact, there’s a name for this shift: matrescence. It’s the physical, emotional, and social transformation that happens when someone becomes a mother.

Matrescence isn’t just about giving birth or learning to care for a baby. It’s more about how your body, mind, and identity reorganize around this new, all-encompassing role.

Feeling disoriented or unsure of yourself doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means you’re in transition. Let’s unpack what matrescence really is, the ways it can affect your mental health, and how to move through it with greater ease.

What is matrescence?

Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s and recently reintroduced by author Lucy Jones, who wrote Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood, matrescence is often compared to adolescence because it’s a period of intense change.

During this time, hormones shift dramatically, brain chemistry rewires for attachment, and emotions run high. You might feel joy, exhaustion, grief, pride, and guilt all at once — evidence of how deeply your system is adapting.

Cultural ideals of effortless motherhood can make this transition even harder. When you feel caught between who you were and who you’re becoming, it can be easy to start criticizing yourself. Simply naming this experience can open space for self-compassion and for asking for the help you need.

3 potential mental health impacts of matrescence

Matrescence can have a profound effect on your emotional wellbeing due to a mix of hormonal shifts and new demands. While everyone’s experience is unique, three common challenges often surface: mood changes, identity confusion, and loneliness.

1. Mood fluctuations and anxiety

After birth, estrogen and progesterone levels drop sharply and oxytocin and prolactin rise. This hormonal reset can feel like emotional whiplash — one moment you’re overjoyed, and the next, you’re sobbing. Short-term mood swings are normal, but if sadness, irritability, or worry persist beyond a couple of weeks, call your doctor. Early support can ease the load before it deepens into burnout or depression.

2. Identity confusion and self-doubt

Matrescence often blurs your sense of self. You may feel suspended between your pre-baby identity and who you’re becoming. This can spark guilt or self-doubt, especially because society expects you to feel unbridled joy (and nothing else). But this disorientation isn’t failure — it’s part of identity growth. Maintaining small personal rituals, such as listening to your favorite music, moving your body, or journaling, can help you stay connected to your evolving self.

3. Loneliness and loss of community

Changes in their routines can make new parents feel isolated, though connection is critical to recovery. In fact, research shows that isolation is one of the strongest predictors of postpartum distress. Reconnection doesn’t have to be elaborate — taking a short walk with another parent who gets it, texting a friend, or joining a local or virtual support group can remind you that you’re not alone.

How to cope with matrescence: 7 tips to help you navigate the transition into parenthood

Coping with matrescence isn’t about finding the perfect balance or getting back to your “old self.” It’s about learning more about who you are now and showing understanding to this version of yourself. These strategies can help you feel more supported, connected, and emotionally steady as you move through this transformation.

1. Name what’s happening

Having a word for what you’re feeling—matrescence—can shift the question from, “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s happening to me?” Naming it creates room for self-compassion.

When things feel heavy, try saying, “This is matrescence. I’m in transition.” It’s a reminder that your emotions are part of a normal human process. Try sharing the idea with your partner or support network, too. Remember that you’re all in this period of growth together.

2. Prioritize rest in realistic ways

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” sounds nice until laundry, dishes, and life pile up. If you can’t take a long nap, there are still ways for you to get the rest you need. You might try:

Breathing breaks: Take five slow breaths while feeding or rocking your baby.
Sensory resets: Step outside for a minute of fresh air and notice the sky.
Delegated rest: If possible, ask someone to watch the baby so you can shower or sit quietly for a few minutes.

These small pauses remind your body that you’re safe. Over time, they rebuild resilience.

💙 If you’re having a tough time falling asleep after waking up with your baby, listen to Kate Johnson’s Sleepy Rhythm Meditation on the Calm app.

3. Ask for—and accept—help

One of the hardest skills in matrescence is learning to ask for help. The idea that “good mothers do it all” is a myth that isolates people when they need connection most.

Start small and be specific when someone offers:

“Could you grab milk on your way over?”
“Would you mind helping to fold laundry while we chat?”
“Can you hold the baby while I shower?”

Support can also come from professionals — postpartum doulas, lactation consultants, parent groups, or therapy. Accepting help is an act of self-care, not weakness.

4. Revisit your identity gently

Matrescence expands who you are — it doesn’t erase who you were. Think of it as adding layers, not starting over. You’re still in there.

If creative or professional parts of you feel quiet, know they’re not gone. They’ll return with time and new meaning. Identity integration is slow work, and there’s no rush to feel “like yourself” again.

5. Strengthen your support system

Community is one of the best buffers against postpartum stress, but it’s tough to reach out when you’re so overwhelmed with a baby. Reconnect with people who keep you grounded, like your best friend, sibling, or an online group where you can be honest.

If in-person support is limited, look for digital spaces like Postpartum Support International or local parent groups, but remember that connection can also start at home. Try brief routines with your partner or co-parent, such as short walks, nightly check-ins, or sharing one thing you’re grateful for. Small moments of togetherness build teamwork and stability.

💙 Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship, a series of meditations on the Calm app can help you nurture your connections with others (and yourself).

6. Reframe expectations

A major stressor in matrescence is the gap between expectation and reality. You may have imagined calm mornings and cozy routines, but you’ve found yourself in a blur of stressful feedings, laundry, and noise. Remember that you’re adjusting to something new, and it’s okay not to have it all figured out.

Instead of putting so much pressure on yourself, create a short “bare minimum list” of three nonnegotiables, like eating, hydrating, and resting when you can. Everything else is optional.

7. Seek support if you need it

Matrescence can be a time of great love and happiness, but it can also heighten vulnerability. If sadness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts last more than a couple of weeks or make daily life hard, it’s time to reach out for help.

Start by talking with your OB-GYN, midwife, or primary care provider, or ask for a referral to a perinatal specialist. Support is also available through Postpartum Support International (PSI), the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-943-5746), and local perinatal therapists. If you’re unsure whether what you’re feeling is “normal,” that’s reason enough to check in. Early support can ease the load before it deepens into burnout or depression.

If you feel unsafe or hopeless, call 988 (U.S.) or your local emergency line. You deserve care.

Matrescence FAQs

What is the difference between motherhood and matrescence?

Motherhood describes the role of caring for a child — feeding, nurturing, protecting, guiding them. On the other hand, matrescence describes the process of becoming a mother: the physical, emotional, and psychological transformation that accompanies that role. It encompasses the identity shifts, hormonal changes, and deep rewiring that make this period of life feel so intense.

Basically, motherhood is what you do, while matrescence is what you experience while you’re learning how to do it.

What are the symptoms of matrescence?

Matrescence isn’t a medical condition, so it doesn’t have symptoms in the clinical sense. Instead, it’s a developmental transition that can show up in many emotional and physical ways. You might feel waves of self-doubt, irritability, or sadness alongside moments of deep love and joy.

Your body may feel unfamiliar. You may crave time alone and then feel guilty for wanting it. These conflicting emotions are common, but if your emotional lows become constant or interfere with daily life, that could signal postpartum depression or anxiety, and reaching out for professional support is the next right step.

Can dads or non-birthing parents experience matrescence?

Yes. While the term matrescence was originally used to describe the changes mothers experience, many non-birthing parents also go through their own version of identity and emotional transition. Research shows that fathers and partners can experience hormonal shifts, changes in brain structure, and heightened emotional sensitivity after a baby, as the brain adapts to caregiving and attachment.

Parenthood changes everyone it touches, and acknowledging their transformation can reduce isolation and help them seek the support they need, too.

What are some strategies to handle matrescence day to day?

Small, consistent actions can make it easier to handle matrescence. Build short moments of rest into your day, even if it’s just three minutes of deep breathing while your baby naps. Stay connected with at least one person who feels safe and supportive, even if that connection happens through a text thread or voice memo.

Keep meals and hydration simple and routine, as your brain and body need steady energy to regulate mood. Most importantly, try to drop “should” from your vocabulary. You’re learning in real time, and your progress may be slow. Give yourself grace.

How do I support my mental health as a new parent?

Supporting your mental health during matrescence means practicing self-care when you can. Regular nourishment, hydration, movement, and rest are foundational and critical for your nervous system. Emotionally, grounding techniques like mindfulness, journaling, or therapy can help you process the constant change. It’s also important to stay connected to others, even when it feels easier to shut everyone out.

If you notice persistent sadness, worry, or emotional numbness, reach out for professional support. Postpartum mental health challenges are common and treatable, and getting help early can make recovery smoother and more sustainable.

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Calm Editorial Team