4 signs of a midlife crisis (and tips to help you cope)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore what a midlife crisis really entails and the tell-tale signs that you might be having one. (Spoiler: It's so much more than just wanting a sports car!)
Experiencing a midlife crisis can feel quite daunting. You might find yourself questioning your life choices or feeling unsettled or uneasy. Understanding what a midlife crisis is, the possible causes, and how to navigate it can make a significant difference in helping you cope.
What exactly is a midlife crisis?
A midlife crisis is often seen as a period of self-reflection, questioning, and emotional turmoil that can come in middle adulthood — usually happening for people in their 40s and 50s. The journey through a midlife crisis often unfolds in three stages: the trigger, the search for meaning, and acceptance.
The trigger: The trigger for a midlife crisis is the “something” that happens that makes you stop and think. It could be a significant birthday, a health scare, loneliness, a career setback, or even a child leaving home. This trigger event can spark a chain of thoughts and emotions, leading to a sense of urgency or unease about your life.
The search for meaning: Following the trigger, there's usually a period of intense self-reflection and search for meaning and purpose. You may start questioning your life choices or your role in other’s lives. It's a time when many start seeking deeper meaning, exploring new interests or hobbies, and considering changes that could bring more fulfillment.
Acceptance: Eventually, there comes the phase of acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up on your past or pursuing future goals, but embracing the life lived so far, making peace with the present, and feeling hopeful about the future. It's when you might feel empowered by finding a new sense of purpose or direction.
The phrase "midlife crisis" might come with baggage, but it's a natural phase of a person’s journey. It's not about dwelling on the past or fearing the future but about understanding yourself better and enjoying life with a new, fulfilling direction.
What are the signs of a midlife crisis?
Understanding the signs of a midlife crisis early on can help you address the emotions and questions that come up.. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward exploring what might be the root cause, and you can use this insight to turn a confusing time into an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
1. Increased anxiety can signal a midlife crisis
It's natural to worry about life, but these worries may ramp up during a midlife crisis. You might feel more anxious about the future or your place in the world.
2. Restlessness can accompany a midlife crisis
Feeling restless is another common sign of a midlife crisis. There might be a nagging sense that something needs to change, but not knowing exactly what. It's a feeling of wanting to jump out of your skin and shake things up.
3. Dissatisfaction with life can prompt a midlife crisis
You may start feeling dissatisfied with how things are in your life during this time. It could be your job, relationships, or even past decisions. It's a general feeling of disconnect, overwhelm, and discontent, even if things look good on the outside.
4. Desire for significant life changes can be a symptom of a midlife crisis
Making substantial changes can suddenly seem appealing. It could be a career shift, relocating to a new place, or exploring new hobbies. A deeper quest for fulfillment or excitement often drives this desire for change.
Possible causes of a midlife crisis
Whether or not there’s a biological explanation for the changes many of us seem to go through as we approach midlife remains to be seen. But the causes of a midlife crisis can often be linked to a combination of factors that are unique to each of us. These include, but aren’t limited to, the following.
1. External triggers: Sometimes, societal expectations, cultural norms, or peer influence can nudge you toward a midlife crisis. The world around us often has set paths and milestones we’re made to believe we must follow. When life doesn’t align with these, it can cause feelings of dissatisfaction.
2. Major life events: Events such as divorce, job loss, or kids leaving home can trigger a midlife crisis, leading to a period of self-reflection and questioning.
3. Unresolved past issues: Unresolved issues from the past, like challenging events during childhood, young adulthood, or unfulfilled dreams and goals can resurface during midlife, leading to a crisis.
4. Aging-related concerns: Aging is a natural part of life, but it can bring about concerns that trigger a midlife crisis. Physical changes, such as menopause or declining health in yourself or loved ones, can spark a flurry of emotions and questions.
5. Identity questions: Midlife often brings questions around personal identity and self-worth. You might start wondering about your accomplishments, purpose, and the value you bring to the world.
How to deal with a midlife crisis: 7 tips to help you cope
Change can be difficult. But navigating through a midlife crisis can be eased with the right approach. Facing a midlife crisis with a proactive approach can lead to personal growth, self-awareness, and, ultimately, a more fulfilling life. It’s about turning a potentially rough patch into a pathway for positive change and newfound clarity.
1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings
Embrace and accept your emotions—remember, feeling uncertain or anxious is okay. Keeping a journal can help you work through your feelings.
💙 Learn how to identify and answer the question of, “What is Acceptance,” when it comes to navigating emotions during a midlife crisis in this short meditation led by Jeff Warren.
2. Identify what is in (and out of) your control
Recognize what you can and cannot change. Focus your energy on areas where you can make a difference.
💙 Examine the illusion of Control and learn to release what you cannot manipulate with Tamara Levitt.
3. Redefine your purpose
Reflect on what brings you joy and fulfillment. It might be a good time to explore new interests or rekindle old ones.
💙 Embrace pursuing a new purpose and Living With Intention at any age with Matthew McConaughey.
4. Set achievable goals
Create realistic goals that align with your new sense of purpose. Break them down into small, manageable steps. Whenever possible it’s best to set SMART (small, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goals to set yourself up for success.
💙 Align your objectives with what really matters to you and explore The ‘Why’ Behind Your Goals with Jay Shetty.
5. Engage in meaningful activities
Participate in activities that enrich your life and connect you with others. Whether volunteering, joining a club, or simply spending time with loved ones, find what makes your heart content.
💙 Say yes to gatherings that uplift you and learn to find Meaning in your life again with Tamara Levitt.
6. Prioritize self-care
Ensure you're eating well, exercising regularly, taking breaks, and getting enough sleep. Engaging in relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can also be beneficial. Remember, self-care isn’t about indulgence but creating a routine that helps maintain physical, emotional, and mental health.
💙 Embark on your newfound Radical Self-Care journey with this 10-day program on cultivating self-love with Lama Rod Owens.
7. Seek professional help if needed
Remember that seeking professional help is always a good option. Therapy or counseling can provide support and insights as you navigate a midlife crisis.
Midlife crisis FAQs
What are the signs of a midlife crisis?
The signs of a midlife crisis can vary from person to person. Generally, they could include feelings of anxiety, restlessness, dissatisfaction with life, and a strong desire for significant life changes. People going through a midlife crisis might question their life choices and contemplate new directions. Recognizing these signs early can help you navigate through this phase more effectively.
At what age does a midlife crisis start?
A midlife crisis typically occurs in middle adulthood, often between the ages of 40 and 60. However, it's not strictly tied to a specific age and can happen earlier or later. It's more about the stage of life and the challenges or questions that come with it rather than a particular age.
What are the 5 stages of midlife?
A midlife crisis is often thought to have three main stages: the trigger, the search for meaning, and the acceptance. However, some refer to a 5-stage model of midlife.
Immunity: Not realizing or acknowledging the upcoming life changes
Denial: Refusing to accept that you're going through significant life transitions
Anger: Feeling angry or frustrated about the changes happening
Acceptance: Coming to terms with the changes and starting to adapt
Rebirth: Embracing the new phase of life with a renewed sense of purpose
What are the 5 stages of midlife crisis?
The stages of a midlife crisis can vary between individuals, and not all models agree on a specific number of stages. However, a 5-stage model could look something like this:
Denial: Initially, you might deny feelings of restlessness or dissatisfaction, attributing them to external factors or temporary circumstances.
Anger: As reality sets in, you might feel anger or resentment toward yourself, others, or the situations contributing to the crisis.
Bargaining: This stage might involve attempting quick fixes or drastic changes to bypass the crisis.
Depression: Symptoms of depression like feeling down or hopeless might occur as the gravity of the crisis becomes more apparent.
Acceptance: Eventually, coming to terms with the midlife crisis and taking proactive steps to work through it, leading to self-discovery and personal growth.
How serious is a midlife crisis?
The seriousness of a midlife crisis can vary greatly. For some, it might be a relatively mild period of reflection and minor life adjustments. For others, a more severe crisis could lead to significant life changes and emotional turmoil. The impact largely depends on personal circumstances, the available support system, and how you manage the feelings and challenges during this period.
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