The power of self-reflection: 20 questions to help you reflect
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
You don't need a New Year to reflect or set intentions. We share the benefits of self-reflection, plus 10 questions to help you reflect on the year and beyond.
Have you ever felt a bit lost in life, unsure of where you're headed or what truly matters to you? If you have, don’t worry. Most of us have felt this way at some point in our lives too. Whenever you feel lost, self-reflection is a powerful tool that can help you gain clarity and point you in the right direction.
Through self-reflection, we pause, dive deep into our feelings, and understand the 'whys' behind our choices. It's a personal check-in, ensuring we're in tune with our desires, values, and emotions. And when we pair this with setting clear intentions, we pave the way for personal growth and better mental health.
If you're seeking a new perspective, looking for a deeper understanding of yourself, or simply want to enhance your emotional intelligence, then exploring the importance of self-reflection would be a valuable practice for you.
What does self-reflection really mean?
So, what exactly is self-reflection? At its core, self-reflection is the process of introspection, a deep dive into our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It's about understanding what we do and why we do it. Why did you feel a certain way? Why did you choose a particular course of action? These questions guide the self-reflection process, giving insights into your character and helping you grow in self-awareness.
Understanding the “why” is the key to setting meaningful intentions that lead you toward personal growth. If, during self-reflection, you realize that you value connections with loved ones but don’t spend enough time with them, an intention could be to set aside dedicated family time each week.
In a way, self-reflection is the foundation, and setting intentions is the action plan. Both go hand-in-hand, fostering personal growth and aligning your day-to-day life with your innermost values and desires. The beauty of this reflective practice is that it's ever-evolving, adapting as you learn, grow, and change.
The 5 benefits of self-reflection
Engaging in self-reflection might sound like a quiet moment with your thoughts, but the impact can be quite profound. Here's how taking the time to understand yourself better can shape your life in meaningful ways.
1. Self-reflection can help you gain perspective
Life can sometimes feel overwhelming, and that’s totally normal. In those moments, if we take some time to zoom out and find perspective, we’re better able to respond proportionately and with more emotional resilience. Self-reflection is one way to achieve that shift in perspective. The practice allows us to recognize the patterns in our behavior and thoughts, which in turn helps us to understand their origins and how best to address them.
💙 If you’re eager to relate to your thoughts in a healthier way, listen to Shift Your Perspective with Jay Shetty.
2. Self-reflection increases self-awareness
In a fast-paced, ever-changing world it can be easy to feel disconnected from ourselves. Self-reflection can help you uncover layers of yourself you didn't know existed and develop self-compassion. This heightened self-awareness is essential for emotional intelligence and making choices that honor the person you’d like to embody.
💙 Journaling is a great way to practice self-reflection. Check out our five Calm Journals to get you started.
3. Self-reflection helps you align with your core values
Have you ever felt like you're not living according to your principles? Self-reflection can help you identify these discrepancies and realign your actions with your beliefs.
💙 Seeing yourself more clearly can be immensely helpful. Check out True Reflections with Jay Shetty for some guidance on how to achieve this.
4. Self-reflection helps you respond to situations with more resilience and ease
Instead of reacting impulsively or overthinking, self-reflection empowers you to act thoughtfully and deliberately, even in stressful circumstances. In this way you’ll be responding to the situations around you instead of reacting.
💙 When situations get stressful, try tapping into breathwork to help you calm your nervous system. We love Breathe Into Relaxation with Jay Shetty.
5. Self-reflection promotes personal growth
As the adage goes, "what we don't reflect on, we repeat". Reflecting on our experiences helps us learn and grow, avoiding the same pitfalls in the future. The truth is that we are not our mistakes, and we can certainly learn from them. Self-reflection enables us to do this.
💙 Learn the difference between Faults vs. Mistakes with this session from Jay Shetty.
How to set up a ritual for end of year reflections
Committing to a yearly self-reflection can be a game-changer for your personal growth and mental health. Think of it as an annual check-in with yourself, a time to take stock of where you are and where you'd like to be. So, how can you make the most of this yearly ritual?
Start by finding a quiet space where you can sit undisturbed. Maybe it's your favorite corner of the house or a peaceful spot in a nearby park. Wherever it is, ensure it's a place where you feel relaxed and at ease. Bring along a journal or a digital note-taking tool, whatever feels most comfortable for you.
Now, look back on your past year. Consider the highs, the lows, the challenges, and the triumphs. This isn't about being overly critical or overly praising. It's about understanding, looking at events, and deciphering the feelings and lessons they brought. Below are 10 example questions to help guide your yearly self-reflection.
Once you've jotted down your thoughts and feelings, focus on the year ahead. Based on your reflections, what intentions would you like to set for the coming year? Maybe you want to cultivate certain qualities, set specific personal or professional goals, or change certain behaviors. Write these down, making them as clear and actionable as possible.
Remember, this yearly self-reflection practice isn't about creating a rigid roadmap for the following year. It's about understanding yourself better, acknowledging your journey, and setting intentions that align with your growth and wellbeing. By doing this consistently, you nurture a deeper connection with yourself, allowing for more purposeful and fulfilling days ahead.
End of year reflections: 10 questions to help you reflect on the year
What brought me the most joy this year?
What were my proudest moments this year, and why?
Which experiences challenged me, and what did I learn from them?
Were there situations I wish I had handled differently? Why, and what could I learn from them?
Have I been true to my values and beliefs?
Did I step out of my comfort zone? If so, what did I discover about myself in the process?
Which personal qualities did I utilize most this year, and in what scenarios?
Were there goals I set but still need to achieve? What were the reasons, and how can I adjust my approach?
What am I grateful for?
How have I grown as a person?
💙 Learn the difference between intentions and resolutions with this session on Intentions from the Daily Calm.
10 self-reflection questions to ask yourself
Beyond the yearly reflection, here are some questions to weave into more regular self-assessments. They'll offer fresh perspectives and insights into your actions, decisions, and feelings.
Regularly asking yourself these questions ensures that you're on the right path, making choices that align with your core values and fostering personal growth.
Remember, these questions are tools for self-awareness and personal growth. You don't need to have all the answers right away. The process of self-reflection is ongoing, and each time you engage with it, you'll uncover deeper insights about yourself. So, take a moment, breathe, and dive into this journey of self-discovery.
What am I taking for granted in my life?
How helpful is my perspective right now?
How can I live in a way that is more true to myself?
How can I better handle my stress when things are out of my control?
What would inner peace look like for me?
How am I contributing positively to the lives of others?
How can I get clarity on what I want out of life?
How can I better make time for self-care, happiness, and personal development?
How am I handling conflicts and challenges when they arise? What can I improve?
What can I do to nurture my mental health further?
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
