What are the stages of childbirth? Plus, 6 tips to help you prepare

Women's HealthPhysical Wellbeing

Aug 6

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Are you (or is someone you love) getting ready for childbirth? We’ll walk you through each stage and share six ways to mentally prepare, so you feel informed, not overwhelmed.

When you find out you’re pregnant, it’s natural to start daydreaming about life with a newborn. Will you have a boy or girl? What will you name them? What will those first precious moments be like?

And then it hits you: Before all these things happen, you’re going to have to bring this baby into the world. It’s a lot to consider, and just the idea of childbirth can bring about a mix of fear, anticipation, and overwhelm, especially if you’ve never experienced it before.

Whether you’re weeks away from your due date or just trying to wrap your head around what’s coming, understanding labor and delivery can help you prepare, mentally and physically.

Here’s everything you need to know about each stage and what to expect from your first few weeks postpartum.

The 3 stages of childbirth

Childbirth is usually divided into three stages, but people’s experiences can vary. Some people move through labor quickly, while others take their time. Some births are predictable, while others’ zigzag so much they surprise medical personnel. Still, here’s an overview of what you might expect and why it matters.

Stage 1: Early labor and active labor

Stage one is probably what you think about when you imagine labor. Your cervix softens, shortens (effaces), and opens (dilates) to about 10 cm. This stage is split into two parts:

Early labor (latent phase): Most people are still at home during this phase. You might feel like you have period cramps or early contractions, and some people also experience backaches or a general sense of restlessness. Your cervix may dilate up to 6 cm, although the process can be slow and irregular.

How long it lasts: Anywhere from a few hours to more than a day
What helps: Walking, resting, warm baths or showers, light snacks, and breathing through the waves

Active labor (established labor): This is where contractions become more intense, closer together (usually every 3-5 minutes), and longer (about 45-60 seconds). Your cervix continues to dilate more rapidly to 10 cm.

How long it lasts: Typically 4-8 hours, but this can vary widely
What helps: Changing positions, massage, breathing techniques, support from a partner or doula, pain relief (if desired), and staying mentally grounded

You might start to feel emotionally raw, more inward-focused, or even disoriented. That’s a cue you’re nearing the next stage.

Stage 2: Birth (push and delivery of the baby)

At this point, your cervix is fully dilated, and your baby is making their way down the birth canal. This stage is often the most physically intense, but it’s also the most focused. You may feel a strong urge to push, intense pressure, and stretching. Some people describe it as a full-body experience.

How long it lasts: Usually 30 minutes to 2 hours for first-time births, but it’s often shorter in subsequent ones
What helps: Directed pushing with guidance from your care team, changing positions (squatting, laying on your side, being on your hands and knees), breathing, vocalization, and emotional encouragement

This stage can be empowering, exhausting, and exhilarating. Focus on staying connected to your body throughout the process.

Stage 3: Delivery of the placenta

This final stage is often overlooked in birth prep, but it’s still important. After your baby is born, your body needs to deliver the placenta, which has been sustaining your baby throughout pregnancy.

At this point, mild contractions help the uterus expel the placenta. You might be asked to push again, and if needed, you may be given medication to help your placenta detach.

How long it lasts: Typically 5-30 minutes
What helps: Skin-to-skin contact with your baby, staying calm, and gentle guidance from your birth team

This is often the moment when your body feels the most in shock or transition. It’s common to feel shaky, emotional, or just spaced out. This is all part of the hormonal recalibration that starts the moment your baby arrives.

How to prepare for the birth of your baby: 6 tips for each stage

Labor may not be easy, but there are tools that can help you feel more emotionally steady, connected to your body, and supported no matter what.

Here’s how you can mentally and emotionally prepare for each stage of childbirth.

1. For early labor: Set the tone with a calm environment

Early labor can feel anticlimactic. Yes, you’re technically in labor, but everything still feels pretty low-key. That’s why setting the right environment early on matters. It helps to give cues to your nervous system that you’re safe and supported.

Here are a few ways to do just that:

Dim the lights: Bright, overhead lighting can be overstimulating. Use lamps or candles to create a warm, cozy feel.

Cue up comfort: Make a playlist of calming music or familiar background noise, such as TV reruns, white noise, nature sounds, or whatever else might soothe you.

Have gentle distractions ready: Take a walk around the block. Bake something simple. Pace the living room while watching a show. You want to focus on soothing, low-effort activities that help you stay relaxed.

Keep snacks light and hydrating: Fuel matters, but so does digestibility. Aim for foods like bone broth, popsicles, toast, or smoothies.

💙If you’re nervous, this Emergency Calm meditation with Tamara Levitt can provide immediate relief.

2. For active labor: Create a support team that knows your emotional needs

As labor intensifies, so do your needs, and it’s important to note that they won’t all be physical. This is when having a support team is crucial, and they’ll all have different roles based on what you need at the time.

Here are some tips to help your support team work for you:

Choose one emotional anchor: This could be a partner, doula, friend, or nurse. Just make sure this person can read your cues, help you regulate your breath, and remind you of your strength. (You’ll need it.)

Share what helps before labor really begins: Do you want an epidural or some other type of pain medication? If you’re overwhelmed, do you prefer affirmations or quiet presence? Do you need people holding your hand, or do you prefer to feel more independent in the process? Create a birth plan in advance that lays out your preferences, and if you can, discuss them with your team before your contractions start stacking.

Use short, grounding phrases: Some examples include “One contraction at a time,” “I’m safe,” and “My body knows.” Have a few mantras you can repeat (or hear from others) when you feel untethered.

Change positions often: Movement can reduce pain, shift the baby’s position, and help you feel less stuck. You might try rocking on a birth ball, kneeling over a bed, or dancing with a partner.

3. For the pushing stage: Practice surrender, not perfection

There’s no one right way to push, and you may change your method mid-birth.

Here are a few ways to make the process more comfortable:

Release expectations: Some people feel a strong urge to push, but others don’t. Some births are loud and primal, while others are quiet and internal. You never know how it’s going to play out for you, so it’s best to not assume anything (good or bad).

Try vocalizing: Making low, open sounds (like moaning or humming) can help relax your jaw and pelvic floor. A tense jaw can mirror a tense cervix.

Work with your breath: While scenes from movies might suggest that you have to hold your breath in and push, many people find that exhaling through a push feels more intuitive. Do what feels good to you.

Stay connected to your body: As tempting as it might be to focus on the clock, try to focus on the sensations instead. Let your care team guide you while you listen inward.

💙Try this simple Body Scan meditation with Tamara Levitt to help you connect with the sensations in your body.

4. For the third stage: Give yourself permission to feel everything

The placenta delivery may feel like an afterthought in birth prep, but it’s significant. After all, it signifies the moment when the entire birthing process is complete, and your hormones begin to recalibrate.

Here’s everything you need to know about the third stage of delivery:

Expect the unexpected: You might feel nothing. You might sob. You might be flooded with love or completely dissociated. Whatever happens, just know it’s the right reaction for you.

Create a cozy recovery plan: Pack your favorite socks, a comforting robe, and a snack you actually want to eat after you’ve given birth. This is all emotional comfort, and it’s much needed after everything you’ve gone through.

Ask for uninterrupted bonding time (if possible): This is a key moment for skin-to-skin contact with your child. It can help regulate your baby’s breathing and heart rate, as well as your own stress levels.

If things don’t go as planned, breathe: Your team will manage whatever happens, whether your placenta takes longer to detach, you need medical assistance, or things get complicated. Try to accept the help when it comes.

5. For any stage: Prepare for unpredictability (without panic)

No matter how carefully you plan out your birth, the truth is that childbirth can be unpredictable. While that might sound scary, it doesn’t have to be.

Here are a few ways to feel more in control throughout the process:

Use a birth preferences sheet: This does not include a rigid plan. List your ideal scenarios (music, lighting, support roles, pain management choices), but hold them loosely. Things can change, and that’s okay.

Rehearse what it feels like to pivot: Visualize how you’d handle unexpected changes, such as wanting an epidural earlier than you’d expected, shifting birth settings, or moving to a C-section delivery. Normalize flexibility.

Pack for comfort, not perfection: Bring the items that make you feel like you, like a favorite hoodie, lip balm, or scent you love. They’ll help you feel more comfortable in the process.

6. After delivery: Gather a postpartum support squad

Preparation doesn’t end when the baby arrives. The hours, days, and weeks after birth are tender, beautiful, and often completely overwhelming.

Here are some ways to handle it:

Line up your support before you need it: Baby gifts are great, but some of the best presents are small acts of care that make your life easier. Think: meals getting dropped off, a friend who checks in just to ask how you are, or someone who will hold the baby while you shower.

Create a phone list for the tough moments: Your phone list is essentially a list of people you rely on when things get messy. You can designate one person you can cry to, one friend you can laugh with, and maybe most importantly, the one who you know will text back immediately. You don’t need dozens of these people, but just a few that you can count on will help more than you know.

Give yourself space to feel the whole range of postpartum feelings: You might feel joy, exhilaration, sadness, emptiness, and rage all in one day. Your hormones are all over the place, and you just have to go along for the ride.

Practice micro self-care: This means doing the smallest thing you can to help yourself feel better. Drink water while feeding your baby. Rest your eyes for just two minutes. Feel the sunshine on your face. These small actions may seem insignificant, but they’ll actually help you get back to center much faster.

💙To help stop feelings of overwhelm, try Breathwork for Postpartum Anxiety with Kate Johnson.

Stages of childbirth FAQs

How many stages of labor are there?

There are three official stages of labor, but within those stages are important sub-phases that help explain what’s happening in your body.

Stage 1 involves early and active labor, when your cervix dilates to 10 cm.
Stage 2 is the actual delivery of the baby.
Stage 3 is the delivery of the placenta.

While this framework is useful for understanding the general flow of the stages of childbirth, it doesn’t capture all the emotional and physical shifts that can happen along the way. Think of the above more like a flexible outline rather than a strict rulebook.

What does early labor feel like?

Early labor often starts with subtle signs such as mild cramps, back pain, or simply a feeling that something is shifting. Contractions may be irregular and short.

Of course, you may be wondering what a contraction feels like. Some people liken them to strong period cramps, while others say it feels like a tightening across the belly or a dull ache in the lower back. You might also feel emotionally sensitive or restless.

This phase can last hours or even days, and the goal is to stay calm, rest when possible, and conserve your energy for the more intense phases ahead.

When should I go to the hospital or birth center during labor?

A common guideline is the 5-1-1 rule. This means the contractions are about five minutes apart and last one minute each. This pattern needs to continue for at least one hour.

Still, everyone is different. If it’s your first baby, things may progress slowly, and you’ll likely be advised to labor at home until active labor is well underway. If you’ve given birth before, your care team might suggest heading in earlier.

Always trust your instincts. If something feels off or you need reassurance, call your provider.

What’s the difference between latent and active labor?

Latent labor, also known as early labor, is the beginning phase of stage one, where your cervix dilates up to about 6 cm. Contractions are typically manageable, irregular, and mild.

Active labor kicks in once your contractions become more regular, longer, and stronger. At this stage, your cervix continues to dilate more quickly, ultimately to 10 cm. This is usually the point where you’re admitted to your birth setting (if you’re not already there).

Do I need to prepare for the third stage of labor?

Most people don’t think much about the third stage of labor, which is the delivery of the placenta, but a little awareness can help you feel more grounded in the moment.

This stage often happens naturally within 30 minutes after birth, and your care provider will monitor everything to make sure it’s all progressing as it should. You may feel some mild contractions or a final urge to push.

This is a big transition point emotionally as well. Your adrenaline drops, hormones shift, and you may feel shaky, overwhelmed, or blissfully dazed. Knowing that it’s normal to feel a swirl of emotions during this stage can help you move through it with a little more ease.

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Calm Editorial Team