"Is this normal?" A parent’s guide to child cognitive development

Mental HealthParenting

Aug 6

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Most parents wonder if their kid is hitting the "right" milestones. This guide to child cognitive development breaks down the stages, signs, and how to support your child.

When you have a new baby, you get used to seeing them do the same three things: eat, sleep, and poop.

But then they get a little older, and you may start to wonder about their behavior. Is it normal for a baby to cry every time they see a certain person? Do all toddlers melt down when you give them the wrong color cup? Should my kindergartener show more sportsmanship?

These concerns may seem different, but really, they all ladder up to the same issue: cognitive development, or the way a child explores and starts to understand the world. And while most parents are deeply invested in ensuring their children are developmentally on track, knowing what to look for can be challenging, as kids don’t follow a specific path.

Here’s everything you need to know about cognitive development, what to expect at different stages, and how to support your child in meaningful ways.

What is child cognitive development?

Child cognitive development is just a technical way of talking about how kids learn to think and make sense of the world. It’s the mental work behind things like remembering where they left their stuffed animal and figuring out how to stack blocks.

A person’s cognition includes skills like attention, memory, language, problem-solving, and reasoning, but these abilities don’t arrive all at once. They build gradually and are shaped by a mix of biology, relationships, and everyday experiences. Obviously, learning happens in the classroom, but it also takes place in pillow forts, at the kitchen table, and on walks around the block. Kids are constantly testing, observing, and connecting the dots — from peekaboo to empathy and cause and effect to complex planning. It’s a lifelong process that grows best with time and connection.

What are the key stages of a child’s cognitive development?

No two kids are the same. Each one will go through every stage slightly differently, but there are general patterns that researchers and pediatricians have observed over time.

Here’s a broad look at how child development tends to go.

Infants (0–2 years):

Babies learn with their whole bodies. Every object is touched, mouthed, thrown, and stared at with the intensity of a tiny philosopher. This stage is all about discovery through the five senses.

They start recognizing faces and voices.
They begin to understand cause and effect.
They develop object permanence, or the realization that things exist even when they can’t see them.

Toddlers (2–4 years):

This is the stage of experimentation. Toddlers test ideas constantly, and ask a lot of questions like, “What happens if I pour this here?” or “What if I say no to everything?”

They begin to form simple sentences and ask a lot of questions.
Symbolic play—like pretending a banana is a phone—starts to flourish.
Their memory improves, and they begin to anticipate familiar routines.
They often believe the world revolves around them, because cognitively, it kind of does.

Preschoolers (4–6 years):

Preschoolers exist in that magical space between fantasy and reality. They can create entire worlds in their minds. They also start to learn to sort, categorize, and reason more clearly.

They understand time better, like “after nap” or “next week.”
They ask increasingly complex questions about how things work.
They slowly start to grasp the feelings and perspectives of others.
They’re endlessly curious and can also focus for a little bit longer.

School-age children (6–12 years):

This is where abstract thinking starts to take root. Kids are able to form more detailed mental images, make plans, and consider outcomes before acting.

They begin solving problems using their logic and reasoning.
Their memory becomes more organized and reliable.
They can follow multi-step instructions and think about the future.
Friendships and social interactions start to become more important, influencing their thinking and emotional growth.

Adolescents (12+):

Teenagers are capable of sophisticated thought. They can wrestle with ethics, form opinions, understand irony, and challenge authority.

They think more critically and independently.
They develop metacognition, which is thinking about their own thinking.
They question the status quo and explore identity, values, and beliefs.
They start to think more about long-term consequences, but emotions still typically lead the charge.

That said, it’s important to remember that development isn’t linear. Some kids might surge ahead in one area while taking their time in another, and that’s normal. What matters most is creating a nurturing environment where your child feels safe to grow and explore at their own pace.

How to know if your child’s development is on track

Your child’s development is most likely going to move in waves. Sometimes it’ll be fast, sometimes it’ll be slow, and other times, it’ll loop. All of this can be signs of healthy cognitive growth.

Instead of fixating on speed or comparison, ask yourself if your child seems curious or engaged with their surroundings. Are they trying to solve problems or develop new skills? If the answer is mostly yes to these questions, they’re probably where they need to be.

That said, if something feels off—or if your child is losing skills they used to have—it might be a good idea to check in with a pediatrician or specialist. In situations like this, support really matters.

How to support your child’s cognitive development: 11 tips for growing brains

Every kid needs connection, curiosity, and opportunities to explore. Here are 11 tips to help you nurture their cognitive development.

1. Talk to your child about everything.

Conversation helps build language skills, memory, and understanding. Chat with them! Your child is listening and learning the rhythms of communication well before they can respond.

Try this: Respond to their babbles like a back-and-forth chat, and ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think will happen next?”

2. Read together every day

Reading—for even just 5-10 minutes a day—can help boost attention span, listening skills, empathy, and imagination.

Try this: For younger kids, choose books with repetition and rhythm, like Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? Older children might prefer stories with relatable characters or emotions.

💙 Take your child on a trip by listening to Skye’s Starlight Adventure, narrated by actor Jordan Whitby.

3. Encourage play that doesn’t come with instructions

Unstructured play is how children solve problems and express creativity. Simply put, it’s how they learn.

Try this: Offer simple toys like blocks, crayons, cardboard boxes, or kitchen utensils. Then watch how a spoon becomes a microphone or a spaceship.

4. Ask questions that don’t have right answers

This helps kids think critically and practice reasoning. Questions that begin with “Why do you think…” or “What would happen if…” give kids the space to explore ideas without fear of being wrong.

Try this: Ask your kid questions like, “Why do you think the moon changes shape?” or “If you were in charge of the grocery store, what would you sell?”

5. Follow their interests

Kids learn more when they’re engaged. Use their latest obsessions as a gateway into stories, science, art, and pretend play.

Try this: Show interest in the things they love. If you have a dinosaur fanatic, make a drawing of their favorite dinosaur together. Are they more into vehicles? Count how many trucks you see on your next walk.

6. Let them make mistakes

Struggle builds resilience and problem-solving. It can be frustrating, but if they spill while trying to fill up their water bottle, remind yourself that they’re just figuring it out.

Try this: Take a beat before offering to help them with a tricky puzzle. You could even ask, “What do you think happens if you try that piece here?” instead of giving them the answer.

7. Give them responsibilities

Letting them help with simple tasks—setting the table, feeding a pet, or helping to pack their lunch—promotes planning and independence.

Try this: Turn your routines into learning. Ask them questions like, “What do we need for a sandwich?” or “Which bowl is big enough for the dog’s food?”

8. Normalize downtime and daydreaming

Quiet moments without structure are usually where creativity lives.

Try this: Instead of filling every free moment with screen time or activities, let them experience boredom. You’ll likely find that this often leads to the best play ideas.

Here are six benefits of boredom.

9. Move their bodies

Physical activity boosts memory and executive function. Dance it out with them or challenge them to skip down the block with you.

Try this: You could also make up obstacle courses, play follow-the-leader, or do simple yoga stretches together.

💙 Let your child practice Working Out the Wiggles in this mindful routine with Mel Mah.

10. Model curiosity in everyday life

Children mirror how we approach the world. When they see you wonder or problem-solve, it gives them permission to do the same.

Try this: Say things like, “I don’t know, let’s look it up together,” or “I wonder why the leaves change color…”

11. Support emotional regulation

A child who feels emotionally safe and seen is more able to explore and learn. In fact, cognitive and emotional growth often happen in tandem.

Try this: Validate their emotions and say things like, “That was really frustrating, huh?” before offering help. Also, aim to name feelings out loud so they can build emotional literacy.

💙 When big feelings come up, help your child learn how to Feel Rooted and Strong with Rapunzel in this short exercise.

Child cognitive development FAQs

What are the stages of child cognitive development?

Child cognitive development tends to move through five broad stages: infancy, toddlerhood, early childhood, middle childhood, and adolescence. Each brings new abilities and challenges, from discovering cause and effect in infancy to developing problem-solving techniques in the teenage years.

Still, these stages don’t have rigid timelines. Though there are general patterns, every person moves at their own pace.

What can I expect with my child’s cognitive development?

You can expect lots of curiosity. Your child will most likely move through periods of explosive learning, when they ask you endless questions, invent games, retell stories, and just try to “figure out” the world. There will also be quieter phases where the growth can be a little more subtle.

You could also see setbacks, like a preschooler who suddenly forgets how to share, or a tween who starts second-guessing their ideas. This is all normal, too. Development isn’t linear.

What can I do to support cognitive growth at home?

Supporting cognitive growth can be as simple as making space for play, talking about your day, reading together, or just letting your child help with small tasks. You can also support them by:

Giving them room to explore and make mistakes
Offering choices when you can
Being curious with them.
Noticing what captures their attention

But most importantly, remember that your presence and encouragement are more powerful than any flashcard or app.

How do I know if my child’s cognitive development is on track?

A good way to know if your child’s cognitive development is on track is by looking at their engagement. Ask yourself if you see your child interested in the world around them or if they’re asking questions, trying new things, or slowly learning from experience.

By contrast, if your child seems to be forgetting previously learned skills, or if they’re persistently disengaged or overwhelmed, you might want to check in with your pediatrician.

What’s the difference between cognitive and emotional development?

Cognitive and emotional development are different, but intrinsically linked. Cognitive development is about how your child thinks, learns, and understands the world, while emotional development is about how they identify, express, and manage their feelings.

A child who feels emotionally safe is more likely to explore and take risks, which supports learning — and a child who’s learning to problem-solve is also starting to see how their actions impact others. Think of them as partners in growth. Supporting one typically supports the other.

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Calm Editorial Team