How to take control of your life: 10 ways to empower yourself
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn how to take more control of your life. Our 10 tips will help you focus your mind and thoughts, and empower you to feel more in control of your future.
Ever felt that life is just rushing by, and you're merely a spectator? You're not alone. Many of us sometimes feel we're just going with the flow in life, with no real say on how the future pans out. But you can change that.
Taking control of your life is more than just a phrase—it's a commitment to yourself. When you decide to take control, you're choosing to shape your story, ensuring it's not just something happening to you. While we can’t always control what happens to us in our life, we can always control our reactions to it. And knowing you have the power to do that can help you feel empowered, make decisions that fit your dreams, and truly live in the moment.
6 signs you’re not feeling in control of your life or future
As human beings, it’s natural to want to be in control of our lives. It’s deeply ingrained in our psyche, impacting how we navigate life. When this control seems to slip away, it can bring up a lot of emotions. Understanding, acknowledging, and addressing these emotions can help you work toward empowering yourself to achieve a more controlled, fulfilling life.
You may feel anxiety
Maybe you're constantly wondering about the 'what ifs' or hate that you can't predict what's coming next. The uncertainty of not knowing what the future holds (even though it’s impossible to know) can spiral into constant worry, which can cause sleepless nights, a restless mind, or even physical symptoms like a racing heart.
You may experience recurrent frustration
When situations don’t fit our desires or plans, it's natural to feel frustrated and to feel like you’re in a rut. This can be draining, potentially leading to a decreased sense of self-belief and confusion on how to move forward.
Your may feel unable to control your thoughts
Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? That's how a thinking loop feels. It's when the same thought or worry plays over and over in your mind, and you can't seem to switch it off.
You could end up feeling helpless
Helplessness can happen when you feel overwhelmed by circumstances, making you feel stuck or powerless.
You may feel overwhelmed
Overwhelm is when there's so much going on, and you just want to pause. Like when you have tons of work and don't know where to start. This can quickly lead to burnout.
You could experience symptoms of depression
Feeling out of control for a long time can bring sadness as you mourn the disconnect between your desires and reality. These emotions can dampen your motivation to achieve personal or professional goals.
💙 Learning to manage anxiety through techniques like mindfulness can be a step towards regaining control.
How empowering yourself for the future can support your health and happiness
Empowering yourself for the future comprises proactive decisions, goal-oriented actions, and a resilient mindset. When you take control of your future, you’re steering your life toward the destinations you desire rather than drifting along without direction. It’s not about productivity or what society views as “success.” It’s about living a meaningful life. A sense of purpose, self-efficacy, and fulfillment can be the foundation for enduring happiness and wellbeing.
5 ways to shape your future
Planning for the future isn’t just about big dreams, although those are great too. It’s also about the little steps you take each day, making sure they lead you toward the happiness and health you deserve. The more you empower yourself now, the more ready you’ll be to tackle whatever comes next.
1. Create a vision board
A vision board shows your dreams and goals. It serves as a daily reminder and a source of motivation, helping you keep your focus sharp and your aspirations alive throughout the daily grind when it’s easy to lose sight of the vision you have for your future.
Grab some magazines, scissors, and glue. Cut out pictures or words that show what you dream of doing or becoming. Stick them on a board or in a notebook.
2. Seek mentorship
Think about someone who you admire. Maybe it’s a leader in your field, a friend or family member, or even a famous person. Their advice and stories that help you learn and grow. Plus, the right connections can open doors to new possibilities, helping you steer your life in a direction that you’re aiming for.
3. Develop new skills
Gaining new skills increases your capabilities and boosts your confidence in managing life’s curveballs. Not only can learning a new skill be enjoyable, but it will also benefit you in the long run. There’s always something new to learn, so why not start with an interest you’ve had for a while but haven’t followed through with yet? Now is the time! There’s always something new to learn.
4. Set realistic goals
Similar to mindful resolutions, realistic goals are the stepping stones toward a fulfilling future. The more goals you achieve the higher your self-esteem will be, and the better you’ll feel about your life.
5. Adopt a growth mindset
Sometimes life gets tough, but instead of giving up, you can choose to see challenges as chances to get stronger and smarter. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes and no one is perfect. What’s important is to learn from our mistakes, gather information, and keep going.
10 ways to take control of your life
Taking control of your life is a hallmark of personal empowerment. It involves self-reflection, planning, and action. Fortunately, there are practical steps to help you foster a sense of control and navigate your life and future with more purpose.
1. Reflect on your goals and feelings
Pay attention to your desires, fears, and the areas of your life you’d like more control of. Understanding yourself is the first step toward making meaningful changes. Take a few minutes each day to think about your feelings, dreams, goals, and what you’re grateful for. Write them down in a journal or even chat about them with a friend.
💙 Looking for a good place to start your journaling journey? Check out our five Calm Journals to get you going.
2. Identify what's within your control (and what’s not)
Distinguish between the things you can control and those you can't. Focusing your energy on aspects you can change (rather than the things you can’t) can support a feeling over empowerment over your life.
It’s helpful to list what you can change and what you can’t. Focus on the things you can influence, and let go of the rest.
💙 It’s important to get clear on what’s within our control and what isn’t. Check out this meditation from the Daily Calm exploring the illusion of control.
3. Set clear goals
Establish clear, achievable goals that provide direction and a sense of purpose to begin taking control of your life.
Decide what you want to achieve, whether it’s finishing a project, learning a new hobby, or helping someone out. Write your goals down and check them off once you’ve done them.
4. Prioritize and organize your time and tasks
Prioritize tasks based on their significance and organize your schedule to manage time effectively, so you can steer your life in the desired direction.
Make lists or use apps to keep track of tasks. Decide what’s most important and tackle those things first.
5. Develop resilience
Resilience can help you bounce back from adversity. It empowers you to face challenges head-on and learn from them, enhancing your ability to take control. When things get tough, remember it’s okay to prioritize self-care and ask for help if needed.
💙 Check out this meditation on Resilience with Tamara Levitt if you need some guidance.
6. Seek knowledge and skills
Our brains love stimulation, and spending our lives scrolling on our phones can be tempting. Why not use the brain’s natural curiosity to your advantage? New knowledge and skills can help in better managing life circumstances, fostering a sense of control and self-efficacy. Read books, watch documentaries, or attend workshops. The more you know, the more tools you’ll have to shape your life.
7. Stay active
Regular physical activity can enhance your mental health, energy levels, and overall wellbeing, helping you take more control of your life. Move your body as often as you can, whether it’s dancing, walking, or playing a sport. It’s good for your health and can make you feel great.
💙 If you’re looking to incorporate mindfulness into your movement, consider practices like the Daily Move with Mel Mah, or our Mindful Walking meditation.
8. Build a support system into your daily life
A support system of friends, family or mentors can provide constructive feedback and encourage you in your purpose. Surround yourself with encouraging, supportive people who cheer you on. Friends, family, or even online communities can be a great help.
9. Take action
Decisive action is pivotal in moving forward and gaining control over your life's circumstances. Don’t just dream, do! Whether it’s trying out a new hobby, making a new friend, or standing up for your values, be brave and take that step.
10. Practice mindfulness meditation
Engage in mindfulness meditation to stay grounded in the present moment, which can help manage anxiety and foster a sense of control. Live in the moment. Enjoy the little things, like the sound of birds chirping or the taste of your favorite snack.
💙 We all know that meditation and mindfulness is good for our overall health and wellbeing, but it’s not always second nature to get into these practices. If you need a guiding hand, check out Mindfulness for Beginners with Jeff Warren.
How to take control of your life FAQs
What do you have most control over in your life?
The aspects you have most control over in your life include your reactions, decisions, attitudes, and the boundaries you set. While external circumstances might be beyond your control, how you respond to them and the mindset you adopt are within your control. Cultivating self-awareness and practicing mindfulness can help enhance your sense of control in life.
How can I control my body?
Controlling your body needs a combination of physical exercise, balanced nutrition, and mindfulness practices. Regular exercise helps maintain physical fitness and body regulation, and a balanced diet ensures you get the necessary nutrients. Mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation can help harmonize the mind-body connection, helping you control physical responses to stress and external stimuli.
Why am I out of control?
Feeling out of control can stem from various factors including overwhelming stress, anxiety, unresolved emotional issues, or unexpected life changes. It's essential to identify the root causes and possibly seek professional support like counseling or therapy to work through these issues. Coping strategies like mindfulness, stress management, and self-reflection can also be beneficial in regaining control.
How do I learn to take control of my life?
Taking control of your life is a multi-step process that involves self-reflection to understand your current situation, identifying what's within your control, setting clear goals, and taking actionable steps toward achieving those goals. Developing resilience, learning from experiences, and seeking mentorship or professional guidance can also help you navigate challenges.
How do you feel in control of your body?
Feeling in control of your body means having a harmonious mind-body connection through practices like regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and yoga or mindfulness meditation. Understanding your body’s signals and responding to them with care, like resting when tired or eating when hungry, can also contribute to a sense of control.
How do you stay in control?
Staying in control involves consistent self-awareness, effective stress management, clear communication, and maintaining healthy boundaries. It's also about adopting a proactive approach to life, where you plan, prioritize, and take actions aligned with your goals and values. Furthermore, cultivating resilience and a supportive network can aid in navigating challenges and staying in control amidst life's ups and downs.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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