9 mental health lessons all kids (and adults) should know, according to a clinical psychologist
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
In honor of back-to-school season, we asked our Chief Clinical Officer, Dr. Chris Mosunic, for the most important mental health lessons ever kid needs to know in order to thrive. But really, these lessons are for all ages.
It’s no secret that kids are struggling with their mental health, particular since the outbreak of COVID-19. In America, adolescent mental health has become an ongoing crisis. Unfortunately, adolescent mental health has become an ongoing crisis when most of us don’t receive the education we need to take care of our mental health and wellbeing at school.
And without coping skills or the ability to process and express our emotions, anxious and overwhelmed kids grow into anxious and overwhelmed adults and the cycle continues.
It’s time to break the cycle by offering our kids the knowledge and tools they need to understand and support their own mental health. Because learning to deal with your emotions and wellbeing can be as important as learning to read or write.
Whether you’re here to re-educate yourself, or share with a child in your life, we could all use a better mental health education. Welcome to Mental Health 101.
Mental health lesson #1: “Mental health matters”
Mental health is essential for your overall wellbeing. Just like we teach our kids how to take care of their physical health, we need to highlight (and model) the importance of taking care of their mental health as well.
In addition to looking after our muscles, bones, and joints, we need to look after our minds, including our emotions and thoughts. Just like we take time each day to eat, move, and clean our bodies, we must take time to check-in on how we are feeling and what we might need to address those feelings or any emotional needs.
🔹 Homework: Set up a small daily check-in practice for your mental health. Whether solo, or as a family, have a routine that helps you process and share how you’re doing that day–maybe it’s on the way to work/school or during dinner.
🔹 Bonus Points: Use the “How are you feeling” check-in inside the Calm app as a fun and quick way to track how you and your kids are feeling each day. Talk about your emoji choices, what’s contributing to those feelings, and how to support each other.
Mental health lesson #2: “Physical health boosts mental health”
Proper sleep, a nutritious diet, and regular exercise are important components of caring for your mental health. They build a healthy foundation so you’re better able to show up to whatever the day has in store.
And while good sleep and good food may not always be available to you or your kids, even having the awareness that these things impact our mental health can help us be more compassionate to ourselves when we aren’t feeling our best.
🔹 Homework: Try to incorporate one of these physical health tips into your, or your kids, daily routine this week. Make it a game to choose which mental health tool they want to use each day and check-in on how they feel when they do it.
Drink water throughout the day
Move your body: Dance, run, walk, or play your fav sport
Eat three meals (veggies included!)
Have a snack when you’re hungry
Create a wind-down routine to help you sleep
🔹 Bonus Points: Try a Kids Sleep Story, Nap Story, playlist, or soundscape at bedtime to help your kids get to sleep more easily. And then try a Sleep Story or Meditation at your own bedtime.
Mental health lesson #3: “Emotions are normal, and they always pass”
You’re supposed to feel all sorts of emotions each day, and they will pass eventually. Good mental health doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time, it just means you’re able to manage the ups and downs that are bound to come. Being able to recognize your feelings or negative thoughts, accept them, and let them pass is the sign of good mental health. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy!
Most of us don’t get a great education in how to identify and feel our feelings. Using a guide like the Feelings Wheel can be a helpful way for adults and kids to get specific on what they’re feeling. Naming an emotion helps to calm it down, and will guide you to what needs tending.
If we don’t know how to express or move through our feelings, they build up causing more and more pressure until we eventually erupt, like a volcano. This could look like a temper tantrum, physical aggression, or some other form of acting out–and we’re not just talking about kids. It’s important to ask for help if you feel the pressure building, or if you are overwhelmed by challenging emotions often.
🔹 Homework: Use the Feelings Journal (*link*) as a guide to explore what feelings look, sound, and feel like in your body. Understand your feelings about feelings and what purpose our feelings have in our lives. The more you know, the more you normalize.
🔹 Bonus Points: Try this 2-minute Emotions Check-in meditation alone or as a family to help you all get more clear on how it is you’re really feeling today. Tend to your own emotions with the Emotions Series to help you support any buildup and be ready to help your kids do the same.
Mental health lesson #4: “You are not alone”
Mental health challenges can affect everyone. One in two of us will experience a mental health condition in our lifetime and one in five are struggling right now. With those statistics, it’s guaranteed you’ll know and love many people who are also navigating their own mental health challenges at any given time.
Sharing about our personal struggles, and being open to listen to others, helps to normalize this very human experience. It can also help us grow into more understanding, sympathetic, and kind people.
🔹 Homework: Share these statistics with your kids, or friends, as a way to open up a conversation about mental health. If you’re comfortable, share about any mental health struggles you deal with and leave a space for them to do the same. Practice listening without judgment, and without trying to “fix”.
🔹 Bonus Points: Check out the Relationship with Others series to practice things like Empathy, Listening, and Holding Space for others in you life. We can be teachers just by modeling.
Mental health lesson #5: “It’s not just stress and anxiety”
While anxiety may be the most common struggle we hear about (or experience), it’s not the only one. There’s a spectrum of different mental health conditions that may affect you or someone you know. The most common are depression, PTSD, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and addiction but there are many, many more.
Learning about these different conditions can increase your awareness and empathy, and help you see any warning signs if you or someone you love needs more specific support.
🔹 Homework: Spend some time exploring the National Institute of Mental Healths’s fact sheets about various disorders. Parents may be especially interested in the Children & Adolescents section.
🔹 Bonus Points: If you struggle with ADHD, try this ADHD Support Series with Jeff Warren, or share it with someone who may benefit.
Mental health lesson #6: “Don’t suffer in silence”
Together, we can dissolve the stigma around mental health. We don’t hesitate to take ourselves (or our loved ones) to the doctor when we’re physically sick, so why should it be any different when we need support for our mental health?
Often, even when we do want to seek help, we don’t know where to turn. Whether it’s a trusted friend or family member, therapist, online support group or helpline, let’s empower each other and ourselves to share our worries and concerns openly.
🔹 Homework: Make a list for you/your family of who you can reach out to when you need support with your mental health. This may include a primary care doctor, school counselor, therapist, or family friend. When you have a plan in place, it will make it easier for everyone to get the help they need.
🔹 Bonus Points: For more on how to get help or support others when experiencing a mental health disorder, check out these Tips for Talking with a Health Care Provider and Help for Mental Illness.
If you need to talk to someone asap or are experiencing suicidal thoughts, text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. In Canada, text the Kids Help Phone at 686868. In the UK, text Shout at 8528, and in Ireland you can text 50808.
Mental health lesson # 7: “You’re not to ‘blame’”
It’s important to know that mental health challenges aren’t a personal failing. There are many components that impact mental health, and many are out of our control. Some contributing factors to mental health include:
Your genetics (some disorders may run in the family)
Childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma
Traumatic experiences as an adult
Loss and loneliness
Long-term stress
Chronic health issues
Lifestyle factors like work, poor diet, lack of sleep
For most people it’s a combination of factors, but the more you know, the more you can ease the effects.
🔹 Homework: In moments when you are being too hard on yourself, try to bring in some self-kindness (speaking to yourself like you would a friend), remind yourself that struggles are an unavoidable part of life (they happen to everyone) and stay clear about the bigger picture (what are all the factors at play). If you can bring this self-compassion into small moments, and model it for others, you’ll be more likely to do it in challenging mental health moments.
🔹 Bonus Points: Let this session help you Replace Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion and then model it for others in your life.
Mental health lesson #8: “It’s okay to not be okay”
In a culture of toxic positivity, we feel tremendous pressure to show up as happy or okay all the time. But that’s not reality. We all have times when we just aren’t okay. That is normal.
It’s important to remember, and be reminded, that you don’t need to “fix” or “change” anything at these hard times. All you need to do is give yourself permission to feel, and get any extra support you might need.
🔹 Homework: Notice how often you say you’re “fine” or “okay” when you really aren’t okay. While it may not be appropriate to share openly with everyone in your life, push yourself to share how you’re actually doing with those you trust.
🔹 Bonus Points: If you’re struggling, try one of these meditations. If someone you love is struggling, learn how to help in the Supporting Struggle session.
Mental health lesson #9: “Mindfulness is one (great) solution”
Mindfulness is a reactive tool to help soothe yourself during challenging times and also a proactive tool, helping to boost peace, joy, and gratitude in your life. It’s a part of established mental health treatments, including common childhood disorders like anxiety and ADHD.
Mindfulness is shown to help kids observe and accept their internal experience without judgment, leading to lower stress and anxiety, improvements in self control, attention, resilience, and even better academic performance.
Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment (not lost in your thoughts or your feelings about the moment), and you can practice it in so many different ways. Some common practices include:
Meditation
Breathing exercises
Journaling
Walking
Arts and crafts
But really, anything can become a mindfulness practice if you stay present to it. Noticing the feeling of a crayon as you’re drawing, the sounds or smells around you on a walk, or the texture of your food as you eat it are all great ways to practice mindfulness.
🔹 Homework: Try bringing mindfulness to one everyday activity you or your kids do today. From brushing your teeth to playing outside, stay present to how it feels in your body as you do it.
🔹 Bonus Points: If you want to explore a more “formal” meditation practice, we’ve got kids and adults covered. Here are some great places to start:
Mindfulness for kids
Mindfulness for adults
Images: Getty
