12 coping skills for kids every parent should know
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Trying to help your kid manage their emotions? Learn how to teach 12 coping skills that can help your child stay calm, reduce stress, and encourage resilience.
Watching your kid melt down in public is excruciating, especially because you feel powerless to stop it. You try to reason. You try humor. You try just ignoring it. Nothing works. And as you exchange knowing glances with a parent nearby, you wonder: How does anybody calm their child down?
Coping skills for kids aren’t about stopping tantrums, they’re about teaching emotional regulation in real time. These skills help kids notice what’s happening inside their bodies and minds and give them ways to ride those emotional waves without being swept away.
Of course, it’s easier said than done. Emotional self-regulation doesn’t come naturally. It’s learned through modeling, practice, and patience. And because many adults never got formal lessons in this area, it’s natural to feel unsure or frustrated when you’re the one doing the teaching.
Here’s everything you need to know about teaching coping skills in everyday moments and helping your kids build resilience at the same time.
What are coping skills for kids?
Coping skills are the practical tools kids use to manage stress, frustration, fear, or sadness and recover afterward.
For adults, these skills might look like taking a walk, venting to a friend, or reframing a problem. For kids, it’s often simpler: taking deep breaths, squeezing a stress ball, or asking for a hug. The goal isn’t to make emotions disappear — it’s to help kids respond to them with greater awareness and intention.
Psychologists often describe three broad types of coping:
Emotion-focused coping: Helping the body and mind calm down (like breathing, mindfulness, or drawing)
Problem-focused coping: Figuring out what can be changed (like asking for help with homework or taking a break)
Social coping: Seeking comfort or connection (like talking to a trusted adult or friend)
Children's brains are still wiring the parts that regulate emotion, and meltdowns are signals that they need more practice. With modeling, encouragement, and repetition, kids can begin to understand that their feelings aren’t something to fear.
Related read: How to regulate your nervous system and restore calm: 12 proven techniques
What are the benefits of teaching coping skills to your kids?
Once kids begin practicing coping skills, the effects can be subtle yet deeply meaningful. They might recover from difficult moments more quickly, approach challenges with greater calm, and feel more confident managing stress. Over time, these small shifts can grow into something bigger: lasting emotional resilience.
As children learn to recognize their emotions earlier, they can use strategies to steady themselves before frustration or anxiety takes over. This means fewer emotional outbursts and shutdowns — but also, research shows that self-regulation can contribute to lower anxiety, fewer symptoms of depression, and stronger overall wellbeing.
This growing emotional awareness strengthens their relationships, too, as they can communicate their needs and resolve conflicts with more empathy and understanding. Over time, these experiences can help kids develop their problem-solving skills and build their confidence.
Coping skills don’t remove stress, but they give kids a steady way to face it. The goal isn’t to stay calm all the time — it’s to know how to return to calm when life inevitably gets hard.
Related read: Too much emotional stress? Try these 10 coping strategies
12 coping skills your kids can use to manage their emotions
Coping skills don’t need to look a certain way — they just need to give your child a way to pause, reset, and feel more in control of their emotions. The trick is offering options that fit your child’s age, energy, and personality. Here are 12 easy (and clinically backed) ideas to start with.
1. Try balloon breaths
Ask your child to imagine slowly blowing up a big balloon, breathing in through their nose and out through their mouth until the “balloon” feels full. This simple deep-breathing technique activates the body’s natural calming system.
💙 Try the guided Balloon Breath exercise on the Calm app.
2. Explore the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding trick
Have them name five things they can see, four they can hear, three they can feel, two they can smell, and one they can taste (or simply take a deep breath for the last step). It helps bring attention back to the present moment when emotions feel overwhelming.
💙 Explore Tamara Levitt’s exploration of the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique on the Calm app.
3. Give movement breaks a shot
A burst of movement—jumping jacks, stretching, dancing, or a short walk—helps release built-up tension and can reset energy levels. It’s especially helpful for kids who “feel” emotions through their whole body.
💙 Working Out the Wiggles, a Daily Move episode on the Calm app, is a great way for kids to use up excess energy.
4. Draw feelings
Drawing, coloring, or doodling can be a powerful outlet. Encourage your child to “show” you their emotion through colors, shapes, or scribbles.
5. Squeeze and release
Teach your child to make tight fists for a few seconds, then relax and shake out their hands. Have them repeat it a few times. This small act of muscle tension and release mirrors what the body naturally does to discharge stress.
6. Create a calm-down box or “toolkit”
Try creating a small box with comforting items: a favorite stuffy, a squishy ball, or sensory toys. It can be their go-to spot for when emotions run high.
7. Practice positive self-talk
Kids absorb their inner voice from us. Model and teach phrases like, “I can handle this,” “This feeling won’t last forever,” or “I’m safe right now.” Simple statements can interrupt spiraling thoughts.
8. Ask for help
Remind them that asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness or failure. Teaching your kids to say, “Can you sit with me?” or “I need a hug,” can help them feel less alone when they’re struggling.
9. Change the scene
If frustration builds, a quick environment shift—walking outside, turning on music, or sitting in another room—can reset the nervous system.
10. Count to 10
Counting slowly gives kids a structured pause between emotion and reaction. It sounds basic, but it’s backed by evidence. It buys the brain enough time for self-control to kick in.
11. Name the feeling
Simply putting a name to what they’re feeling (“I’m mad,” “I’m embarrassed,” “I’m scared”) helps children process it. Naming turns a vague, overwhelming sensation into something they can understand and manage.
12. Use imagination
Have your child picture a safe or cozy place, like lying under a cozy blanket, floating in warm water, or cuddling their favorite pet. Visualization lowers heart rate and helps the brain shift out of stress mode.
How to teach coping skills to your kids
Teaching coping skills isn’t about giving your child a checklist of “calm down” tricks. It’s about modeling emotional regulation, building awareness, and practicing together long before the storm hits. The most effective teaching moments usually happen quietly, in everyday routines, not during a crisis.
Here’s how to incorporate coping skills into everyday family life.
Normalize big feelings
Start by acknowledging that everyone—kids and adults—has hard emotions. Say things like, “It’s okay to feel angry,” or “I get nervous sometimes too.” Naming emotions as normal removes the shame that can make kids hide or fight against them.
Build awareness before skills
Kids can’t use coping tools if they don’t notice when they need them. Help them recognize early body signals: a fast heartbeat, clenched fists, shaky legs. You might say, “It looks like your shoulders are tight — does your body feel mad right now?” This awareness becomes their cue to reach for a tool.
Practice when things are calm
Coping skills only work under pressure if they’re familiar first. Try them when everyone’s relaxed — before bed, in the car, or during playtime. Keep it light: “Let’s see how big we can make our balloon breaths.”
Offer choices, not commands
Kids respond better when they feel in control. Instead of “Take a deep breath,” try, “Do you want to try breathing or drawing right now?” Letting them choose helps reduce resistance and builds confidence in their own decision-making.
Use modeling, not lecturing
Your own behavior teaches more than your words. If you show that you take a pause when frustrated—“I’m getting overwhelmed, so I’m going to take three deep breaths”—you’re teaching regulation in real time. Kids mirror what they see.
Keep expectations realistic
Some days your child will use a skill beautifully. Other days they’ll forget what to do and throw a tantrum. That’s normal. Learning coping skills takes repetition. Focus on small wins: noticing a feeling, taking one breath, trying again later.
Create consistent practice moments
Build mini “check-ins” into your day: a calm-down minute before school, a quick stretch after homework, or a breathing game before bed. These tiny rituals make coping skills feel like part of daily life, not a punishment or project.
Reflect afterward
When things settle, talk briefly about what worked. “That drawing really helped you calm down — what made it feel good?” Reflection reinforces what’s effective and helps kids connect cause and effect.
Celebrate effort, not outcome
Emotional coping is all about progress over perfection so praise the trying, not the result. “You remembered to ask for a break — that’s great noticing!” This keeps building internal motivation.
Coping skills for kids FAQs
What are some quick coping skills kids can try at school?
Kids don’t always have time—or space—for deep breathing sessions or calm-down boxes. Here are some quick coping skills that kids can try at school or on the playground:
Slow balloon breaths (quietly, at their desk)
Tensing and relaxing hands under the table
Drawing or doodling for a few minutes
Going to get water or stretching during a break
Using a small fidget tool or holding a smooth stone in a pocket
Repeating a calming thought (“I can handle this,” or “It’ll pass soon”)
How do I know if my child’s coping skills are working?
You’ll start to notice changes that may seem small at first: shorter meltdowns, faster recovery, more self-awareness, or fewer moments of complete overwhelm. The goal isn’t for your child to never feel upset — it’s for them to feel capable of returning to calm on their own. If you hear them using phrases like “I need a break” or “I’m too mad right now,” that’s real progress.
What if my kid resists trying coping strategies?
Resistance is part of the process. New skills can feel awkward at first, especially for kids who are used to reacting quickly. You can ease resistance by:
Offering choice: “Would you rather draw or take a walk?”
Making it playful: “Want to see who can take the slowest breath?”
Modeling it yourself: Kids copy calm more than they respond to commands.
Validating their feelings: “I get that this feels silly right now.”
When kids feel seen instead of pressured, they’re more likely to try again later — often when you least expect it.
Are coping skills for kids and teens the same?
Coping skills for kids and teens overlap, but the way they’re used changes with age. Younger kids need concrete, sensory-based tools (movement, breathing, art, touch), but teens can handle more abstract coping strategies like journaling, mindfulness, or cognitive reframing (“What’s another way to look at this?”). The key is matching the strategy to their developmental stage and giving older kids space to take ownership.
When should I seek extra support for my child’s emotions?
If your child’s distress feels bigger than what these tools can reach, like when emotions are constant, extreme, or interfering with sleep, school, or friendships, it’s worth reaching out for professional help. A pediatrician, school counselor, or child therapist can guide you through the next steps. Seeking help doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent — it means you’re helping your child get the support they deserve.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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