Holiday anxiety: 10 tips to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Taking care of your mental health is essential during the holidays. Explore 10 self-care tips to help you cope and how to avoid common triggers of holiday anxiety.
We often think of the holiday season as a magical time filled with joy, family gatherings, and celebrations. And it can be. However, for many people, this time of year can also usher in a wave of holiday anxiety, a type of stress associated with the many demands and expectations of the festive season.
What is holiday anxiety?
Holiday anxiety is a specific type of stress that occurs during holiday seasons. It's different from everyday stress, because it's linked to the unique pressures and expectations that come with holiday events and traditions. Understanding holiday anxiety and recognizing its effects on our mental health can help us manage it effectively. Here are some of the ways it can manifest:
Emotional overload: The holidays can bring a range of emotions, both happy and sad. For some, reminders of lost loved ones or past experiences can lead to feelings of grief or nostalgia.
Physical symptoms: Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive problems. These can be exacerbated by holiday indulgences and disrupted routines.
Social stress: The pressure to socialize, host events, or interact with family members you might not see regularly can be overwhelming, especially if there are a lot of late nights involved. This is especially true for those with existing social anxieties.
Routine disruption: Regular routines are often disrupted during the holidays, which can be particularly challenging for those who find comfort and stability in their daily schedules.
4 ways holiday anxiety affects mental health
Acknowledge your feelings around holiday anxiety and remember that it's okay to feel stressed or overwhelmed during the holiday season. Taking proactive steps to manage your mental health can help make the holidays a more enjoyable and less stressful time.
Increased stress levels: Additional demands in the holiday season can lead to heightened stress levels, impacting mental health.
Mood fluctuations: The highs and lows can cause mood swings, bouts of sadness, irritability, and even depression.
Sleep disruption: Anxiety can disturb sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or poor-quality sleep, which, in turn, affects overall wellbeing.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms: Some people might resort to habits like overeating, excessive drinking, or withdrawing from social interactions, which can further impact their mental health.
8 triggers of anxiety during the holidays
While what triggers one person may not trigger another, there are a few ways that holiday anxiety can manifest. Identifying your unique triggers can help you prepare tools and strategies to better handle anxiety during this busy season. While the holidays can be an important time, protecting your mental health is more important.
1. High expectations
The media and social norms often portray the holidays as a time of perfection and endless joy. This can set unrealistic expectations for the ideal holiday experience, leading to disappointment and stress when reality doesn't match these ideals.
2. Financial pressure
Holidays often come with financial burdens, including the cost of gifts, travel, decorations, and hosting events. Worrying about how to afford these expenses can cause significant stress.
3. Family dynamics
Holidays often feature family gatherings, which can be challenging if relationships are strained or there's a history of conflict. Navigating these dynamics, especially in larger gatherings, can bring anxiety.
4. Overcommitment
The holiday season is filled with invitations to social events, expectations to meet, and tasks to complete. Trying to do everything can lead to burnout and feeling overwhelmed.
5. Loss and loneliness
For those who’ve lost loved ones or are far from family, the holidays can intensify feelings of grief or isolation. The contrast between personal experience and the general festivity can be overwhelming.
6. Unhealthy comparisons
Comparing your own holiday experience to what others seem to be doing online or social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.
7. Travel stress
Traveling during the holidays can be chaotic and stressful because of busy airports, traffic jams, and the fear of plans being disrupted or not going as scheduled.
8. Disrupted routines
The change in daily routines during the holidays, such as altered eating habits, sleep schedules, and exercise, can contribute to stress and anxiety.
Coping with the holidays: 10 holiday wellness tips
Managing holiday anxiety effectively involves practical strategies that focus on self-care and mindfulness. These tips can help you navigate the holiday season with less stress, more enjoyment, and better mental health.
1. Prioritize your activities
Make a list of holiday activities and rank them in order of importance to you. Focus on the top few that bring you the most joy or are the most meaningful. This can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, ensuring you spend your time and energy on what truly matters to you.
2. Simplify your plans
Cut back on elaborate plans. Instead, go for simpler celebrations or low-key gatherings to reduce the pressure and expectations. Smaller, intimate gatherings often bring more joy than large, stressful events.
3. Explore mindful eating
Enjoy holiday treats but avoid overeating by listening to your body's hunger and fullness cues. Mindful eating can help you maintain physical and mental wellbeing, as overindulgence can often lead to physical discomfort and emotional guilt.
💙 Explore Tamara Levitt’s Mindful Eating Practice and learn the fundamentals of mindfulness at mealtime and how it can help your overall stress and anxiety.
4. Adjust your expectations
Remind yourself that it’s okay for things not to be perfect, and be realistic about what you can achieve and what the holidays can offer. Having realistic expectations can significantly reduce disappointment and stress.
💙 Learn to let go of what was supposed to be and embrace what is with Jay Shetty’s guided meditation on Expectations.
5. Schedule your time wisely
Don’t pack your schedule too tightly. Instead, plan for breaks and downtime in your holiday schedule. Rest is essential for helping you to recharge, and it allows opportunities for spontaneous activities, too.
💙 When it’s time for bed, make it count by listening to Oren Jay Sofer’s guided sleep meditation, Deep Rest.
6. Practice mindful breathing
Whenever you feel stressed, take a moment to focus on your breathing. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four to help calm the mind and reduce anxiety.
💙 Use your breath to calm your mind and anxiety in three minutes with Breathe to Calm Down.
7. Set financial boundaries
Set a budget for holiday spending and stick to it. Consider homemade gifts or shared experiences instead of expensive purchases. This can help reduce holiday anxiety caused by financial strain.
💙 Set Financial Intentions and goals this holiday season, and stick to them.
8. Lean into imperfection
Not everything will go as planned, so be open to accepting it, and find humor and joy in the imperfect moments. Embracing imperfection can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable holiday experience.
💙 Shift your energy from perfectionism to going with the flow with this meditation on Energy Management to help guide you toward ease.
9. Limit social media as needed
Reduce the time you spend on social media to avoid unhealthy comparisons. Limiting social media can help maintain a more realistic perspective and reduce feelings of inadequacy.
💙 Release yourself from the Social Mania comparison by forgoing social media during the holidays.
10. Seek support
Reach out to supportive friends, family, or a professional if you feel the holiday stress is too much to handle alone. Talking about your feelings and sharing your experiences can provide relief and remind you you’re not alone in your feelings.
Holiday anxiety FAQs
Why do the holidays give me anxiety?
The holidays can be a source of anxiety due to a combination of high expectations, financial pressures, family dynamics, and the disruption of normal routines. The holidays are often portrayed as a time of complete joy and perfect family gatherings, but when reality doesn't match up, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or disappointment. The holidays can also be a reminder of lost loved ones or past difficulties, contributing to feelings of sadness or loneliness for many people.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule is a simple mindfulness technique to help ground yourself during anxious moments. This exercise can help bring your focus back to the present, interrupting the cycle of anxious thoughts.
Name three things you can see around you.
Identify three sounds you can hear.
Move three parts of your body, like your ankle, fingers, and shoulder.
How can I calm my anxiety during the holidays?
There are plenty of actionable ways to calm holiday anxiety.
Prioritize self-care activities like mindful breathing or a relaxing bath.
Engage in regular physical activity to help relieve stress.
Keep a regular sleep schedule to ensure adequate rest.
Set realistic expectations for the holidays.
Simplify plans and focus only on what matters most to you.
Seek support from friends, family, or professionals.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed at Christmas?
It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed during Christmas. The holiday season can be a hectic time with lots of social obligations, financial pressures, and the emotional weight of personal or family expectations. It's important to recognize these feelings and take steps to manage them, like setting boundaries, asking for help when needed, and taking time for self-care.
How do you deal with social anxiety at Thanksgiving?
To manage social anxiety during Thanksgiving, plan ahead for social interactions. Have some conversation topics ready to ease into interactions. Set boundaries for yourself, and step away for a moment if you feel overwhelmed. Focus on making connections with one or two people rather than trying to engage with everyone. Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing before and during the event. And remember, it's okay to limit social gatherings to what feels manageable for you.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
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