How to deal with frustration: 6 ways to cope with the stress
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
We all feel emotionally frustrated at times. Learn the causes of frustration and what to do when you're feeling frustrated with 6 coping skills and strategies.
Feeling frustrated is… well, frustrating. Frustration arises when we face obstacles to achieving our goals, but the skills to cope with inevitable frustration aren’t always clear. How do you know if you’re emotionally frustrated? More importantly, how can you fix it?
Remember, everyone gets frustrated. With these coping skills, you can manage and even reduce those feelings. And if you need more guidance on processing emotions, learn how to feel your feelings here.
What is frustration and what are the signs?
Frustration in its simplest form is that feeling we get when life doesn’t go the way we’re hoping it will. A key sign you’re frustrated is an increase in irritability. Maybe you’re short-tempered with people you care about or you find yourself getting annoyed with little things, like a dripping faucet or the ticking of a clock. Another sign of frustration is feeling anger more often, which can lead to impatience creeping in.
Navigating challenging emotions and side effects of frustration can leave you feeling helpless. And, like with many emotions, frustration doesn't just stay confined to the mind, it also shows up in the body with symptoms like a tense jaw, furrowed brow, or a heart that feels like it's racing a mile a minute.
Spotting the signs of frustration is the first step. Once you know what's going on (and how it’s affecting your wellbeing), you can find ways to cope and get back to feeling like yourself.
What causes frustration?
Frustration can be caused by many things and varies from person to person. Frustrations could occur due to personal problems, or when your expectations don’t align with reality. Here are some reasons you might find yourself frustrated.
1. Unmet expectations
Have you ever planned a perfect day outdoors, only for it to rain? Or worked hard on a project expecting praise but received criticism instead? When reality doesn’t match our expectations, frustration can occur.
2. Relationship struggles
Sometimes, interactions with friends, family, or colleagues don’t always go smoothly. Misunderstandings, a lack of boundaries, unexpressed feelings, or conflicting desires can stir up feelings of frustration in our relationships.
3. Work-related challenges
Whether a project is hitting a wall or a colleague isn’t on the same page as the team, the workplace is a common space for frustration to build due to pressure to perform and navigating multiple people with differing personalities and work styles.
4. External factors
When life throws us a curveball, frustration can often be the result. Maybe you hit a traffic jam when you’re already late or lost WiFi during a call. And because we’re human beings who have expectations, small, unavoidable roadblocks can make us feel frustrated.
Why it’s important to deal with frustration when it arises
Ignoring or suppressing your frustration can have repercussions and take its toll on your mental and physical health.
Mental exhaustion: Ignored frustration can lead to burnout and mental exhaustion.
Emotional toll: Unmanaged frustration can exacerbate emotions like anger or anxiety, which can affect your mental health long-term if left unaddressed.
Physical impact: Stress from constant frustration can manifest physically, spiking your blood pressure or causing disrupted sleep. Unmanaged frustration can also cause headaches or stomach issues.
Relationship strains: Emotional frustration can cause you to take out your frustration on loved ones, especially if they’re contributing to your emotional burnout.
Reduced productivity and motivation: Emotional frustration can make tasks seem impossible, from simple tasks like cooking a meal to more complex tasks like chasing your goals.
6 coping skills to help you deal with frustration
When you’re dealing with frustration it can sometimes leave you feeling desperate and hopeless. Here are some ways to help you cope so you can reduce your frustration quickly and return to a state of calm.
1. Take 10 deep breaths
When you sense frustration bubbling up, take a pause. Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly through your mouth. This simple act can help calm your mind and give you a clearer perspective.
💙 Any time you need some guidance breathing, our Breathe Bubble is there for you.
2. Shake it off to reduce physical stress
Taylor Swift got this one right! Sometimes, the physical act of wiggling your body can symbolically shake off your mental frustrations. Stand up, loosen up, and give yourself a good shake. It’s like hitting a reset button on your emotions, helping you calm down.
💙 Saying Goodbye to Anger from the Daily Move can help you reduce physical and emotional stress.
3. Go for a fast-paced walk to get your blood pumping
Physical activity is a stellar way to deal with frustration. Step outside for a brisk walk when you’re feeling overwhelmed. With each step you take, crush the frustrations beneath your feet. Fresh air and a change of scenery can also help clear your thoughts and shift your focus. Nature is medicine.
💙 You can further ease frustration by incorporating mindfulness into your walk. Check out our Mindful Walking session.
4. Get some perspective by thinking of the bigger picture
Frustration can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unable to see beyond the immediate issue. Having a difficult day can feel all-consuming, however taking a mental step back to view the bigger picture can be enlightening. Ask yourself, "will this matter in a week, a month, or a year?" Gaining a wider perspective can lessen the intensity of your frustration.
5. Ground yourself in your body
Grounding exercises, like a body scan meditation, can anchor you in the present moment, pulling you away from frustrating thoughts. Feel your feet on the ground. Listen to the sounds around you. Pay attention to your breath. Focusing on the present can prevent spiraling thoughts and bring a sense of calm.
💙 Next time you want to ground yourself, try the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique and connect to your senses.
6. Seek support
Sometimes, all you need is to talk it out. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or coworker, sharing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and provide a fresh perspective.
How to deal with frustration FAQs
How do you overcome frustration?
Overcoming frustration isn’t about avoiding it entirely, but managing how you react to it. Start by recognizing and accepting your feelings. Use coping skills, such as deep breathing, taking short breaks, or speaking to someone you trust. It’s essential to find what works for you and practice it consistently. It might not make the source of your frustration disappear, but it’ll equip you to handle it in a more supportive way.
What are the main causes of frustration?
Frustration arises when our expectations don’t match reality. Common triggers include unmet personal goals, unexpected obstacles, or misunderstandings in communication. Between work stress, relationship challenges, health issues, or even daily inconveniences like traffic jams, everyone has unique triggers. Universally, frustration is the gap between what we expect and what actually happens.
What are 3 types of frustration?
Common types of frustration include:
External frustration: External frustration is caused by outside factors we can’t control, such as a delayed train or a canceled plan.
Internal frustration: Internal frustration comes from personal limitations or challenges. Maybe there’s a skill you haven’t mastered yet, or a personal goal seems out of reach.
Interpersonal frustration: Interpersonal frustration comes from conflicts with others, like misunderstandings or disagreements in relationships (both personal and professional).
Is frustration a form of anger?
Frustration and anger are closely related, but they’re not the same. Think of frustration as a precursor to anger. When you’re frustrated, you’re experiencing a setback or obstacle. If this frustration continues without relief or solution, it might evolve into anger. While frustration is more about facing an obstacle, anger usually involves a perceived wrongdoing or injustice. Addressing frustration early on is essential to prevent it from escalating into more intense emotions.
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