Yes, motherhood anxiety is totally normal. Here's how to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Are you a nervous mom? You're not alone. Motherhood is hard and anxiety often comes with the territory. Explore the symptoms, causes, and 10 tips to help you cope.
Doesn’t it feel like from the moment you become a mom (or even just think about becoming one), a whole new section of your brain reserved for worst-case scenarios opens up? Suddenly, everything feels life-or-death. A fever? Could be just a virus or something out of a medical drama. A missed nap? Might set off a lifelong pattern of terrible sleep hygiene. That toy on the floor? Practically a Final Destination scene waiting to happen.
And let’s face it, modern motherhood’s built for anxiety. You get bombarded with advice from every direction. One minute, a parenting expert tells you to follow your instincts, and the next, a viral social media post makes you feel like a monster for giving your kid Goldfish.
So, if you’ve ever laid awake at 2 am, convinced you’re failing, or found yourself catastrophizing over something as small as an unwashed pacifier, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not broken. Motherhood and anxiety go together like toddlers and tantrums.
But that doesn’t mean you have to let it run your life. You deserve to enjoy motherhood without feeling like you’re about to have a nervous breakdown.
What is motherhood anxiety?
Motherhood anxiety is that constant, low (or high)-grade hum of worry that starts the moment you become responsible for a tiny, fragile human and never really goes away. It’s not just the big, obvious fears like illnesses, accidents, or the fact that babies seem to have zero survival instincts. It’s also the everyday worries that creep into your brain when you’re just trying to live your life.
Thoughts like: What if I’m not bonding with my baby enough? What if I’m bonding too much and they end up codependent? Am I underreacting to this rash, or am I overreacting? Did I hug them enough today? Should I be more involved in their education? Why is every other mom handling this better than me? And on and on...
This anxiety is not just mental, it’s physical too. It’s common to feel chest tightness, tension headaches, stomach knots, and just general exhaustion from never really turning off your brain. You may even have full-blown panic attacks or scary intrusive thoughts that make you question your sanity.
The important thing to remember is that motherhood anxiety is common. Your brain’s wired to scan for potential dangers, to anticipate needs, and to stay hyper-aware. And some level of this anxiety is just going to be baked into the job description of “keeping another person alive.”
8 symptoms of mom anxiety
Mom anxiety can be a shape-shifter — it’s not always as easy to spot like a full-blown panic attack is. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and hides behind your to-do list, masked as “just being a responsible mom,” or it’s lightly disguised as your inability to ever fully relax.
If this sounds familiar to you, congratulations! You’re not alone in this wild, anxious-mom club. And if you’re still trying to figure out if you’re going through some mom anxiety — here are eight symptoms you can be on the look out for:
Intrusive thoughts: Unwanted, graphic “what if” scenarios can pop into your brain out of nowhere. Disturbing? Yes. Common? Also yes.
Perfectionism: You know deep down that “good enough” is fine, but you still spiral over organic snacks, screen time, or milestone charts.
Hypervigilance: Your brain’s always scanning for danger, even in safe situations. Even an outing to the playground has the potential to feel downright dangerous.
Irritability: Anxiety can often disguise itself as mom rage. If your child refuses to put his shoes on and you’re suddenly ready to explode, this could be a symptom of motherhood anxiety.
Sleep struggles: You’re so tired, but the second your head hits the pillow, your brain decides to recap every parenting decision you’ve ever made — and what you have to do tomorrow.
Decision fatigue: Your brain’s permanently stuck in overdrive, and even tiny choices, like what sunscreen to buy, can feel massive.
Avoidance: Some tasks, including doctor’s appointments, writing emails, or leaving the house, start to become so overwhelming you just… don’t.
Physical symptoms: You may experience a racing heart, headaches, stomach knots, and exhaustion even when you’re not doing anything physically strenuous.
What causes motherhood anxiety?
Sometimes motherhood anxiety can feel like it’s something that’s wired into you — like your brain, your body, and modern society are all conspiring against you to make you the most anxious mom ever.
And honestly, there’s some truth to that. All of these factors can play a huge role in why moms are more anxious than ever. Here are a few things that could be causing you (and all moms) to feel this way:
Hormonal changes: Pregnancy, birth, the postpartum period, and breastfeeding (or not breastfeeding) throw your hormones into overdrive. Estrogen, progesterone, and oxytocin can do wild things to your brain chemistry, and when they fluctuate, your anxiety can skyrocket. Postpartum anxiety (PPA) is also very real, and for some moms, it doesn’t just go away once the baby stage is over.
Sleep deprivation: When you’re sleep-deprived, your brain can go into survival mode, and can then make every little thing feel like a big deal. Suddenly making decisions like choosing a baby stroller can feel like deciding on a college fund because your anxiety’s amplified when you’re not sleeping.
The mental load: Being a mom usually means you’re the CEO of your family’s entire existence. You keep track of doctor’s appointments, groceries, daycare schedules, developmental milestones, and which sippy cups are acceptable this week. This mental load is invisible but can be completely overwhelming. And it can fuel constant, low-level anxiety that never really turns off.
Societal pressure: Thanks to social media, expert opinions, and that very vocal mom in your kid’s playgroup, the pressure to be a perfect mom feels higher than ever. And it can leave you constantly wondering if you’re doing enough or too much.
Information overload: Once upon a time, moms tended to rely on instincts and the wisdom of other moms in the village. Now? We have Google, blogs, conflicting advice from pediatricians, and a never-ending stream of “helpful” social media posts. This endless overload can then result in analysis paralysis.
Past experiences: If you grew up with emotional neglect or any kind of trauma, motherhood can bring up a lot. You’re not just raising your child, you’re also navigating your own history. And anxiety can thrive when we feel like we have to “break cycles” but we’re still just trying to figure out how to actually do that.
Modern motherhood: Raising kids used to feel like a communal effort. Now, many moms feel like they’re doing it alone — either literally (as single moms) or emotionally (because support systems are thin). This can put a lot on a person and can make it really hard for moms to manage their anxiety when they don’t feel like they have a solid network to lean on.
How to treat mom anxiety: 10 mindful tips to cope
A little bit of mom worry can be good. It can help remind you to double-check that your child’s car seat is buckled and it can help keep your kid from licking electrical outlets. But when your anxiety goes from helpful to completely taking over your life, it might be time to reevaluate.
If you’re tired of constantly stressing about the chaos of motherhood, here are ten small and real-life strategies that can help you out.
1. Name it to tame it
When you start to feel anxiety creeping in, call it out. Remind yourself that it’s not reality, it’s just your anxiety talking.
Tell yourself that you’re not your anxious thoughts — you’re just someone experiencing them. And check out these eight additional tips to help you interrupt the worry cycle.
2. Breathe like you mean it
Anxiety can potentially trigger your body’s fight-or-flight mode, but deep breathing can help to calm your body. Try inhaling for four seconds, holding for seven seconds, and then exhaling for eight seconds. This practice can signal to your nervous system that you’re safe and that you don’t need to panic.
To make your life a little easier, consider trying this if your toddler gets overstimulated. It most likely will soothe them just as much as it will soothe you.
3. Set a worry window
Instead of letting anxious thoughts take over your entire day, consider scheduling a 10-minute “worry window.” When a thought pops up, tell yourself that you’ll deal with that during your worry time.
Then when the time comes, you might be surprised to find that the things you were worrying about earlier aren’t that big of a deal now. And then ones that still are, feel free to go to town on. Let yourself feel all the feelings.
💙 After your worry window, consider listening to Elisha Goldstein’s Anxiety Release to help you slowly release some of those feelings you might’ve just brought to the surface.
4. Unfollow the stress
Social media can be a real trigger for parenting anxiety. If a certain account makes you feel less than or worry that your kid’s behind, hit that unfollow button. Protecting your mental space is self-care.
Generally, if you feel like social media isn’t serving you right now, here are 12 ways that can help you scroll less and live more.
5. Talk to someone who gets it
Anxiety tends to thrive in isolation, and connection can shrink it. Try to find your people, whether that’s a fellow mom friend, a therapist, or an online support group.
Venting to someone who understands can help make you feel less alone and can give you some much needed relief. If you’re looking for stronger connections with others, here are 10 ways to make and keep friends as an adult.
6. Move your body (but make it doable)
Movement can help release built-up stress and can get your brain out of overthinking mode. Start easy and small — you don’t need to overdo it with a 60-minute HIIT workout (unless you want to). A quick walk, some stretching, or even a dance party with your toddler can boost your mood. And as a general rule of thumb, aim to move your body in ways that you enjoy, so you’ll be more likely to keep it up.
7. Ground yourself in the present
Anxiety can cause you to spiral. When you get caught up, try to pull yourself out of that mindset by doing the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding technique. You can practice by naming:
Five things you can see
Four things you can touch
Three things you can hear
Two things you can smell
One thing you can taste.
This exercise can really help to disrupt your anxiety and bring you back to the present.
8. Practice self-compassion (because you are not failing)
Anxiety can be that terrible devil on your shoulder telling you that you’re a bad mom. But those are just thoughts, not facts.
When negative self-talk arises, try to be as kind to yourself as possible and talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough.
Motherhood is hard and you’re allowed to struggle. Nobody’s perfect.
💙 When you’re feeling down, it can be really tough to be nice to yourself. Jeff Warren’s Self-Love Bomb meditation might be just what you need.
9. Do one thing at a time
When you’re anxious, you might feel extra pressure to be productive — but your mind and body need rest. Train your brain to slow down, even if it’s just for a minute.
When you’re doing a task, try to be mindful. If you’re washing dishes, just wash the dishes. If you’re playing with your child, try to just play. Just do one thing at a time.
💙 If you’re constantly future-tripping, Tamara Levitt’s meditation, Present, might help you get more centered.
10. Get professional support if you need it
You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through motherhood. If you feel like your anxiety’s keeping you up at night, making you feel stuck, or just interfering with your daily life — it’s okay to get help.
Consider reaching out to a therapist to see if they can help get you feeling like yourself again. They might also be able to recommend some medication that can alleviate the way you’re feeling.
Motherhood anxiety FAQs
Are moms more anxious now?
The internet has completely changed modern-day parenthood. Today, moms are constantly confronted with curated social media feeds and can access an endless supply of tips and tricks 24/7, making every decision feel fraught.
On top of that, many moms today lack the “village” that once made parenting a shared effort. This can leave them feeling isolated and overwhelmed, to say the least.
What causes anxiety in mothers?
Motherhood anxiety is usually a mix of biology, exhaustion, and a whole bunch of unrealistic expectations. But there tends to be a couple main causes of anxiety. Here are seven of the most common ones:
Hormonal shifts (typically during pregnancy and postpartum)
Sleep deprivation
The mental load of endless checklists
Past experiences (particularly past trauma)
Information overload
Societal pressure (especially from places like social media)
Modern motherhood (and the lack of a support network)
What are some treatments for motherhood anxiety?
There’s not one cure-all for motherhood anxiety, but there are manageable ways that can help you cope. If you feel like anxiety’s currently running the show, you don’t have to just push through. You might try:
Therapy (especially CBT): Talking with a professional can help teach you how to manage your anxious thoughts and not let them overwhelm you.
Medication: This method can be life-changing if anxiety is regularly interfering with daily life.
Mindfulness techniques: Deep breathing, grounding exercises (here are 18 we like), and single-tasking can all help to stop you from having anxious spirals.
Connection: Talking to other moms who get it can be one of the most effective forms of relief, and reaching out to a loved one to vent can really make you feel heard.
How can you help an anxious mother?
If you want to help an anxious mother, a good rule of thumb is to just listen without judgment. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, you can remind them that they’re doing better than they think, that they’re not alone, and that it’s okay to ask for help.
From a more practical sense, you can offer to help by watching their kids, dropping off a meal, or even just checking in. All of these actions can ease their mental load. Check out nine more tips to help a friend who’s dealing with anxiety.
And if your friend’s struggling, try to gently encourage them to seek support, whether that’s therapy, a support group, or a loved one. We all work better when we have our village there to help us.
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