Are you in the sandwich generation? Here’s how to cope

Stress & AnxietyParenting

Sep 26

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Caring for both your children and your aging parents is stressful — to say the least. Learn what it means to be a part of the sandwich generation, and 6 tips to avoid burnout.

Picture this: Your mom calls, needing help with her medications, just as your teenager asks for a ride to practice. During this back and forth, work emails start piling up, and dinner hasn’t even crossed your mind yet. This push-and-pull between two very different caregiving roles is the daily reality for many adults in the sandwich generation.

This group of people is caring for both children and aging parents at the same time. It’s a growing reality as people live longer and many start families later in life, and it can feel relentless. It’s challenging to balance pediatric appointments with adult doctor visits, or cover tuition while also managing long-term care costs. All while trying to stay present for everyone who needs you.

This constant pressure can leave even the most capable person feeling stretched thin — emotionally, financially, and physically. Let’s unpack what it means to be part of the sandwich generation, why it’s so tough, and walk through a few practical ways to ease the burden and avoid burnout.

What is the sandwich generation?

The term sandwich generation describes adults who are caring for their own children while also supporting their aging parents. The idea first surfaced in the 1980s, when researchers noticed more middle-aged adults squeezed between two sets of caregiving demands.

Today, the group is larger than ever. A 2025 national caregiving survey estimates 63 million Americans are family caregivers, and there are a couple of reasons for this. People are living longer, which means parents typically need support as they age. At the same time, many adults are waiting until later in life to have children, so their kids are still at home as their parents start needing more support.

Care also looks different for every family. Some families provide hands-on physical and emotional care for both parents and children daily. Others offer financial support and help with bills while also juggling their own household expenses.

Why being a part of the sandwich generation is so stressful

Supporting two generations at once can take a toll on the mind and body. Here are some of the biggest reasons people in the sandwich generation tend to feel so stressed:

1. You’re living in two worlds at once: Kids need homework help and rides to practice. At the same time, parents may need rides to appointments and social and physical comfort as they face declining health. Both roles matter deeply, but the overlap can be exhausting.

2. Time pressure never really lets up: Caregivers may feel like they’re barely keeping up with all their duties. Then one unexpected crisis, like a sick child or a parent’s fall, can throw the entire day off balance. Plus, caregiving tasks are becoming more demanding. Many people now provide hands-on medical support, yet only 22% report receiving any training for these complex responsibilities.

3. The emotional weight is heavy: It’s common to feel torn, wishing you could be fully present for your child’s big moment while also worrying about your parent’s health and wellness. And the numbers reflect this strain. 64% of caregivers report high emotional stress, and nearly half say the role also takes a physical toll.

4. There can be a struggle with work constraints: Seven in ten working‑age caregivers are employed, and half say caregiving disrupts their job. They arrive late, leave early, and have to take time off.

5. Money can be tight: Childcare, school costs, and parents’ medical bills can all add up fast. As a result, many caregivers find themselves dipping into savings or taking on debt. In fact, nearly half report a negative financial impact, like debt, drained short-term savings, and being unable to afford basic expenses.

6. Self-care may get put on the back burner: Even when a quiet moment arrives, it can be hard to relax because the mental load doesn’t always switch off. This nonstop pressure can then lead to burnout, strained relationships, and declining health for the caregivers themselves.

How to deal with caregiving burnout: 6 coping strategies for the sandwich generation

Taking care of both children and aging parents at the same time can be a recipe for exhaustion. But there are meaningful ways to manage your reserves and care for yourself throughout this process. Here are six tips to protect yourself from caregiver burnout.

1. Carve out micro-moments of rest

Small moments to pause or rest can help reset your nervous system, especially on days when bigger breaks aren’t possible.

To bring yourself back to balance, consider doing a grounding exercise while taking a break or practicing some breathwork before responding to another request.

2. Name your stressors before they pile up

Burnout often sneaks in when stress builds unchecked. So, get into the habit of naming what you’re feeling.

A few times a day, try a quick emotional check-in. This might involve picturing your mood as a weather report and asking yourself if it's sunny or cloudy. This can reduce its intensity, help you notice when things are shifting, and allow you to respond with more care.

3. Lean on your support system

Caregiving can feel isolating, so try to reach out to siblings, extended family, trusted friends, or online communities.

There’s strength in connection. Tapping into your support system can remind you that you’re not alone in this endeavor, and you’re not the only one struggling.

💙 Remember the importance of support by listening to Outside Help with Jay Shetty.

4. Set boundaries you can realistically keep

Saying yes to everything can deplete your resources quickly. Boundaries allow you to have enough left in the tank to keep showing up.

This might mean asking your partner to handle the next parent–teacher meeting, or scheduling respite care (temporary state-assisted care) for a family member so you can attend your own medical appointment.

💙Learn how to protect your energy by listening to Boundaries with Tamara Levitt.

5. Protect your financial wellbeing

Money is often one of the most significant stressors for the sandwich generation. To alleviate some of this burden, consider exploring caregiver tax credits, dependent care benefits, or local community programs that help offset costs.

Budgeting tools can also help track where your money is going. If you ever hit a point where you can’t provide additional financial support to your relatives, there are ways to receive support from others. Whether that’s asking other family members to help, or even setting up a GoFundMe to let your community help you.

6. Practice self-compassion

There will be days when you lose your patience or feel like you’re failing someone, and that’s okay.

In moments like this, try reminding yourself that you’re doing your best in a tough situation. This small reminder can soften stress and prevent shame from taking root. When you offer yourself the same kindness you extend to others, it can make a surprisingly big difference.

Sandwich generation FAQs

How do I deal with the financial strain of caring for my parents and my kids?

It can be helpful to explore tax credits, such as the Child and Dependent Care Credit, or to ask your employer about dependent care accounts or any caregiver benefits they may offer. Additionally, some states and nonprofits provide respite care grants or subsidies that can offset costs.

Other small adjustments you can make are meal prepping to cut costs and consolidating appointments to reduce travel. If your siblings or other family members are involved, consider scheduling a candid conversation about sharing financial responsibilities.

What are the challenges of being in the sandwich generation?

Caregivers often juggle time pressure, emotional stress, and financial strain while also trying to meet their own needs. For many, this role also disrupts their work. In fact, about half of employed caregivers report that responsibilities, like arriving late or taking time off, interfere with their jobs.

Burnout and isolation are also common in the sandwich generation due to the emotional toll of raising children while also caring for aging parents.

What age is the sandwich generation?

Most people in the sandwich generation are between their late 30s and 50s, but it’s not defined by age as much as circumstance. Anyone caring for both children and aging parents at the same time can be considered part of this generation.

Overall, more adults are finding themselves in this role during what would traditionally be their peak career and financial years, as people are having children later in life and parents are living longer.

What kind of support is available for the sandwich generation?

There are many different kinds of support for this generation. Local caregiver support groups, both in-person and online, provide a space to share experiences and access resources. Some employers also offer benefits like flexible schedules, paid caregiver leave, and employee assistance programs. Community organizations can be a big support as well. They often provide respite care and transportation services.

Additionally, leaning on friends, therapists, and faith communities can be very helpful as they can ease the isolation that often comes with caregiving.

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Calm Editorial Team