6 mindful tips for finding balance as a stay-at-home mom
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Being a stay-at-home mom can be overwhelming. Learn how to set boundaries, find support, and create balance — without guilt or the pressure to do it all.
Being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling jobs in the world — and of course, it’s also one of the hardest. You’re on parenting duty 24/7 (or close to it), and there are no days off.
Some days, you might feel so lucky that you get to spend as much time as you do with your kids. Other times, you might feel like you’re trapped in a monotonous loop — and without another adult around, it can get pretty lonely too.
Between all of this, the mental load, and being misunderstood by even your most well-meaning friends, it can all feel like too much. But, there are ways that you can make it easier on yourself. If you’re overwhelmed right now, here’s what you need to know to help get some much-needed balance as a SAHM.
Why being a stay-at-home mom is hard
Moms who stay at home to raise their kids work from the minute they open their eyes until the moment they pass out reading a bedtime story to their kid.
And despite the fact that these parents rarely get a moment of peace, many people wrongly assume their life is some kind of leisurely domestic dream. This sort of thinking can be incredibly frustrating and demeaning. A few other reasons why being a SAHM is so tough include:
There’s no off switch: When you’re a SAHM, there’s no leaving work at the office. Even if you do get a moment to yourself, you’re still thinking about all the things that need to get done, like the laundry, dinner prep, or helping your kid with their homework.
It can be isolating: Some days, the only adult conversation you might have is 30 seconds with the Amazon delivery driver. When you’re stuck inside with a baby, the monotony of your schedule can weigh on you, and even when you’re able to get out of the house, it’s not always easy to make new friends.
Invisible labor is real and exhausting: Planning meals, remembering birthdays, and organizing doctor’s appointments is all part of the mental load that SAHMs carry. It’s a ton of work, even if no one else acknowledges it.
The world doesn’t always value it: So often if you tell someone you’re a stay-at-home mom, there’s a good chance they’ll hit you with either: “But what do you do all day?” or “I could never do that.” Statements like this can make you want to scream.
It’s emotionally draining: Odds are, you’re the default parent, the fixer of problems, the kisser of boo-boos, and the human security blanket. Your kids come to you for everything, and while that’s beautiful, it’s tough to absorb everyone else’s emotions while also still trying to manage your own.
6 ways to find balance as a stay-at-home mom
Many people think that balance as a stay-at-home mom means dividing your time equally between motherhood, self-care, household management, and whatever’s left of your social life. (If only.)
Some days, balance could look like a structured routine, while other days, it might just be surviving on a prayer and the hope that bedtime comes early — and that’s okay.
If you’re looking to bring a little more balance into your stay-at-home mom life, here are seven practical ways that can help you do that.
1. Set boundaries
You are not an on-demand entertainment center or a snack vending machine. It’s okay to say no to your kids. You can even offer a simple, “Mommy’s taking a break for a few minutes.”
Teaching your kids that you’re a person with needs benefits everyone in the long run. Plus, if they learn to entertain themselves for a few minutes, you might actually get five full minutes to recharge and feel a little more like yourself.
💙 Listen to Boundaries with Tamara Levitt if you’re not the best at giving yourself the time you need to properly recuperate.
2. Find something that’s just yours
Motherhood is all-consuming, but underneath it all, you’re still you. Find something—anything—that reminds you of that.
If there’s a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, consider giving it a go. If there’s a side hustle you use to enjoy, consider picking it back up. You deserve joy and an identity beyond your never-ending to-do list. (Here are 14 ways to stay true to you if you’ve been feeling a little less like yourself recently.)
3. Build a support system
Having people to lean on can make all the difference, and you were never meant to do this alone. A solid group of friends, a trusted partner, and family can really help you to get by and face the next day.
If you need more of a support network, here are 10 ways to connect and keep friends as an adult.
4. Redefine “me time”
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate, perfect, or even lengthy. Some days, “me time” could be just locking the bathroom door and scrolling mindlessly for 10 minutes. Other days, it could be a morning walk or a stolen moment of silence while you get dressed. Taking any amount of time for yourself can help recharge you.
5. Ask for help
It’s not a failure to ask for help. In fact, it’s actually a sign of strength. Raising a child is not something you have to do alone — even if society makes it seem that way.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin, let your partner take over bedtime. You could also teach your kids to do small tasks on their own. Plus, whenever you need a break, call in reinforcements (if you can).
6. Lower the bar
Not every meal has to be homemade, and not every mess needs to be cleaned right away. Your kids will still survive if you put on a movie so you can sit in silence for a little bit. Good enough is good enough, so try to stop holding yourself to impossible standards.
💙 Listen to Perfectionism with Jay Shetty if you’re struggling to lower the bar in your life right now.
What stay-at-home moms want you to know
There are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a SAHM, and most of them typically come from people who have never done it.
If stay-at-home moms had a PSA, it would most likely go something like this: “This is incredibly hard work. Please respect that.” They’d also probably want you to know:
They're not “just” at home. Many people hear “stay-at-home mom” and picture a woman sitting on a couch while her kids play independently. In reality, stay-at-home moms manage schedules, referee fights, and mentally keep track of 1,000 tiny details that keep the household running — while also entertaining and caring for their kids. Saying they’re “just” at home is like saying a doctor is “just” at the hospital. The location should not diminish the workload.
This job is incredibly lonely. Spending all day, every day, with children can be lonely, especially if you’re an extrovert who gets a lot of energy from being around other adults.
They don’t get breaks. Most jobs come with built-in breaks, but stay-at-home moms rarely—if ever—get them. They usually eat standing up. Even a trip to the bathroom can come with an audience.
They need support, not judgment. They often hear comments like, “It must be nice to stay home all day.” A statement like this can completely ignore how exhausting the role actually is. What they do need is validation and encouragement.
Being a SAHM isn’t their only identity. Motherhood is a huge part of who they are, but it’s not the only part. Stay-at-home moms also have dreams, passions, and things they want to do outside of parenthood.
They’re so very, very tired. Stay-at-home moms are most likely emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. They’re tired in a way that usually even a good night’s sleep wouldn’t fix — and they’re doing their best.
If you know a stay-at-home mom, check in on her. Ask how she’s doing, offer support, and then remind her that she’s doing an incredible job.
What stay-at-home moms want you to know
There are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a SAHM, and most of them typically come from people who have never done it.
If stay-at-home moms had a PSA, it would most likely go something like this: “This is incredibly hard work. Please respect that.” They’d also probably want you to know:
They're not “just” at home. Many people hear “stay-at-home mom” and picture a woman sitting on a couch while her kids play independently. In reality, stay-at-home moms manage schedules, referee fights, and mentally keep track of 1,000 tiny details that keep the household running — while also entertaining and caring for their kids. Saying they’re “just” at home is like saying a doctor is “just” at the hospital. The location should not diminish the workload.
This job is incredibly lonely. Spending all day, every day, with children can be lonely, especially if you’re an extrovert who gets a lot of energy from being around other adults.
They don’t get breaks. Most jobs come with built-in breaks, but stay-at-home moms rarely—if ever—get them. They usually eat standing up. Even a trip to the bathroom can come with an audience.
They need support, not judgment. They often hear comments like, “It must be nice to stay home all day.” A statement like this can completely ignore how exhausting the role actually is. What they do need is validation and encouragement.
Being a SAHM isn’t their only identity. Motherhood is a huge part of who they are, but it’s not the only part. Stay-at-home moms also have dreams, passions, and things they want to do outside of parenthood.
They’re so very, very tired. Stay-at-home moms are most likely emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. They’re tired in a way that usually even a good night’s sleep wouldn’t fix — and they’re doing their best.
If you know a stay-at-home mom, check in on her. Ask how she’s doing, offer support, and then remind her that she’s doing an incredible job.
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