14 tips to help kids (and parents) ease back-to-school anxiety
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Discover why children experience back-to-school anxiety and 10 signs your kid may need more support. Plus, how to help a child cope with school-related anxiety.
Beginning a new school year is an important milestone and can be an exciting time for kids (and the whole family). Not only is the start of a new school year an opportunity for your child to learn and make new friends, but it also marks the beginning of a new routine. And when kids have a solid routine, parents can breathe a little easier too. But, after a summer of fun-filled days and late nights, the transition to bedtimes and homework isn’t always easy.
While some kids embrace change rather quickly, others might struggle to adjust to a new classroom, an unfamiliar teacher, and earlier wake-up times. And if they’ve been separated from their friends, it might take some time for a child to get comfortable with their new classmates too. Of course, these roadblocks can have a major impact on parents and caregivers, especially if it’s causing more outbursts or issues at home.
Deep breaths, everyone. Even if your child didn’t get the teacher they wanted or the classmates they were hoping for, going back to school can still be a happy, positive experience with a bit of effort, accommodation, and understanding.
Why do kids get anxiety about going back to school?
For many kids, summer can feel like a fun-filled break from everything that feels never-ending. Until it does end. And going back to early mornings, homework, and after-school extra-curricular activities can feel overwhelming and even disappointing. Kids may even experience the stages of grief as they navigate this transition.
On top of changing their routine seemingly overnight, kids may also worry about fitting in, making new friends, or getting along with old ones. Concerns about bullying can add to their anxiety, as can falling into the comparison trap the older they get.
As children grow, they might also feel anxious about their appearance, changes in their bodies, or how they compare to their peers. A bad experience with a teacher can make them anxious, too, and memories from a tough time the year before can make them worry that this year will be the same.
Younger students, especially those starting school for the first time, may worry about being away from their parents and caregivers. For older kids, the pressure to do well in school or meeting their parents' and teachers' expectations can be stressful, and these insecurities can be stronger at the start of a new school year as they strive to excel.
9 signs your child needs support with school-related anxiety
Kids might not always tell you they’re feeling anxious. As parents, it’s best to keep an eye out for changes in their behavior and regularly talk to them about how they’re feeling. Take their concerns seriously, reassure them, and work together to address their worries and show them unwavering support.
Frequent headaches or stomach aches: Anxiety can bring physical symptoms, so if your child complains that their head or stomachs hurt—especially on school days—it could be a sign they’re stressed.
Trouble sleeping: Having a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep might mean your child’s feeling anxious. Pay attention if they have nightmares or mention feeling worried at bedtime.
Irritability or mood swings: Getting upset or frustrated easily might be a sign they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Avoidance: Not wanting to talk about school, refusing to get dressed for school, or making excuses to skip school-related activities can indicate anxiety.
Excessive worry: If they're constantly talking about fears or concerns related to school, like getting good grades or fitting in, they might be dealing with anxiety.
Withdrawing from others: Avoiding friends or social activities they used to enjoy can be a sign of anxiety about school, as well as depression.
Changes in eating habits: Skipping meals, overeating, or suddenly changing their food preferences can indicate underlying issues.
Dips in academic performance: If their grades are suffering or they’re expressing less interest in their schoolwork, it might be because anxiety is making it difficult for them to focus.
Clinginess: Having a hard time being away from parents or wanting to stay close to home may be signs that they’re struggling.
How to help kids cope with back-to-school anxiety: 14 tips for parents and caregivers
Being supportive and understanding at home can help your child manage back-to-school anxieties, so they’re able to enjoy a successful school year. Having fun activities on the calendar for after school or the weekend, or even introducing your children to self-care practices, can help make this transition smoother and less daunting.
1. Start preparing early
Get bedtimes and wake-up times back to normal a few weeks before school starts. A consistent daily schedule that includes time for homework, meals, play, and rest can help kids feel more secure and prepared for the school day.
💙 Make routines more fun with Paw Patrol’s Preparing for a Mission meditation and learn the importance of staying present.
2. Talk with kids about their feelings
Create a safe space where your child can express their worries, and listen to them without judgment. If you need support, explore these five ways to become a better listener. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that it's normal to feel nervous about new experiences. You might consider telling them about times when you felt stressed in similar situations.
💙 Help your child learn how to identify their big moody feelings with help from the Navigating Stormy Seas with Cap’n Dreambeard meditation.
3. Visit the school (especially if it’s a new school)
If possible, take your child on a tour of the school before their first day back. Meeting their teacher, and seeing the classrooms, cafeteria, and playground can make the environment feel more familiar and less daunting.
4. Practice relaxation techniques
To help your child manage their anxiety, teach them deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or progressive muscle relaxation.
💙 For younger kids, follow along with Moana in this guided breathing exercise, Breathe Like the Ocean with Moana, to encourage relaxation during times of stress.
5. Set realistic expectations
Remind your child that it's okay not to be perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. Focus on effort and learning rather than grades and performance to help reduce the pressure to perform.
💙 Remind your child that it’s okay to make mistakes during the I’m Okay meditation with Paw Patrol.
6. Stay positive
Talk about the things that make school fun, such as seeing friends, extracurricular activities, and learning new things. A positive outlook can help shift their focus from worries to excitement. Share positive stories about your own school experiences to show that school can be enjoyable.
💙 Harness the power of positive self-talk with the Self-Affirmations practice from the Daily Jay.
7. Create a morning routine
Reduce stress before school by preparing school supplies and clothes the night before, and plan a filling breakfast to ensure a smooth start to the day.
💙 Try adding a short meditation into your morning routine, like Feel Rooted and Strong with Rapunzel, to help them prepare for the day ahead.
8. Encourage social connections
Arrange playdates and social activities with classmates during the summer break. Strengthening friendships can make your child feel more comfortable as they return to school.
9. Stay involved
Go to school events, meet with teachers, and keep up to date with their progress to show you care and support them. If there are any concerns, work together to create a plan that will get them back on track.
10. Use positive reinforcement
Praise your child for their efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small. This can help boost their confidence and motivate them to face new challenges.
💙 Encourage your child to overcome their anxiety by following Princess Tiana’s lead in our guided meditation Let Your Light Shine with Tiana.
11. Create a homework plan
Help your child break down assignments into manageable tasks, and give guidance and support when they need it. This can help relieve anxiety about schoolwork.
12. Model calm behavior for kids
Stay calm and express confidence about the new school year. Avoid sharing your own anxieties in front of your child, as children often take cues from their parents.
💙 Calm your nervous system by practicing breathwork with guidance from our Reset With the Breath exercise.
13. Provide comfort items
Very young children might want to take a small comfort item to school, such as a photo or a favorite toy, to help them feel reassured. If your school doesn’t allow children to take in items, try drawing a heart inside a piece of their clothing, on their wrist, or one of their school books to remind them you’re thinking of them. You might slip a note in their backpack too.
💙 Encourage your kids to find comfort inside themselves with the help of That Safe Happy Place meditation (for ages 7-13).
14. Create a transition plan
If your child is particularly anxious, talk to the school about creating a gradual transition plan. This could include starting with shorter school days or checking in with a teacher or counselor during the first week.
When to get professional help with school anxiety
While it’s normal for children to feel nervous about going back to school, sometimes the anxiety is more severe. Learn to spot the difference between nervousness and anxiety and keep track of your child’s behavior.
Consistent refusal to go to school, frequent physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches, major changes in behavior or mood, sadness, withdrawal from others, or a dip in grades, can show it’s time to seek help.
Early intervention can make a big difference to your child’s wellbeing and success at school, so start with teachers and school counselors for their support. Your child’s pediatrician may recommend next steps, such as a child psychologist or therapist for coping strategies. Family therapy may help if anxiety affects everyone. In some cases, your doctor may consider medication.
Back to school anxiety FAQs
How can I distinguish between normal back-to-school jitters and anxiety?
Normal back-to-school jitters are usually mild and go away on their own after a few days. Your child might feel nervous or have a slight stomach ache, but they still go to school and start feeling better soon.
However, anxiety is more intense and lasts longer. It can make your child feel upset and interfere with their daily life. If your child complains of headaches or stomach aches a lot, has trouble sleeping, or constantly worries about school—and this nervousness doesn’t get better or gets worse—it’s probably more than just jitters.
How long does going back to school anxiety last?
The length of back-to-school anxiety can be different for each child. Many kids start feeling better after the first few days or weeks of school once they get used to their new routine, teachers, and classmates. But some kids might take longer to adjust — especially if they’ve had tough school experiences before or are naturally more anxious.
If your child’s anxiety doesn’t improve after a month, or if it’s making it hard for them to enjoy daily activities or do well in school, consult a school counselor or a mental health professional.
What are some activities that can help my child relax before the first day of school?
Engaging in some fun and calming activities can help your child feel less anxious before school starts.
Draw or paint with them, as creative activities can be soothing.
Read a favorite book together to help them stay calm.
Play a favorite board game to help take their mind off their worries.
Teach them simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or gentle yoga stretches.
Spend time outside to cheer them up and help them relax.
How can teachers support students with back-to-school anxiety?
Teachers can do a lot to help students who feel anxious about going back to school.
Create a friendly and welcoming classroom.
Explain things clearly and keep routines predictable to help reduce uncertainty.
Be approachable and willing to listen, so students know they can talk about their concerns.
Organize small group activities or pair up anxious students with classmates who can be supportive friends.
Keep in touch with parents so everyone can work together.
What should I do if my child refuses to go to school due to anxiety?
If your child refuses to go to school because of anxiety, be calm and understanding. Talk to them about what’s making them scared or worried, and listen carefully to let them know their feelings are valid.
Together, figure out a plan to address their fears, such as visiting the school before the first day or meeting their teacher together. You may also consider working with teachers, administrators, and counselors to create a supportive, tailored plan.
If the anxiety is too strong and doesn’t seem to get better, a mental health professional can provide your child with techniques to manage their anxiety and feel more confident about going to school.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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