5 tips every (exhausted) mom needs to get better sleep
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Tired, mama? Between night feedings, bad dreams, and a mile-long to-do list, sleep can feel impossible. Here are 5 small, doable tips to help you rest better.
Everything changes when you become a mother, including your relationship with sleep. Suddenly, you’re no longer in control of when you go to bed or when you wake up — and while your child may outgrow late-night feedings and diaper changes, there are always sleep regressions and nightmares to contend with later.
You might also find yourself up late Googling questions like “What temperature is considered an actual fever?” and running through your endless mental to-do list. If you find yourself in a panic at midnight because you can’t remember when your child’s next dentist appointment is or where you put their passport, you’re not alone.
You know that sleep is important, and we know that you don’t need another unrealistic list of tips to help you wind down. Real, actually doable ways to squeeze in more rest without flipping your whole life upside down are a lot more helpful.
So, here are a few real-life sleep survival strategies that might make you slightly less of a sleep-deprived zombie. Even if it’s not perfect, a little more rest is always a win.
Why do moms get less sleep?
Real talk: It’s not just the baby’s fault. Sure, newborns are little sleep bandits, but even as kids get older, moms still tend to get less good-quality sleep than their partners. (Yes, science backs this up.) Here’s why:
Nighttime interruptions: Babies wake up. Toddlers wake up. Even big kids wake up. Many times, they want you to be the one to comfort them.
The mental load: Even when you’re in bed, your brain is still running a full-time operations center. (Did I sign the permission slip? Is it pajama day tomorrow? What’s that weird noise?)
Lack of downtime: You’re probably ready to crawl into bed right after your kids do — but that’s also the only time you have to yourself. It’s so tempting to stay up too late doom-scrolling, binge-watching, or just enjoying the silence.
Hormones and biology: Pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood can mess with your sleep cycles, making it harder to fall or stay asleep.
What is postpartum sleep like for new moms?
In the first year, new moms lose about 109 minutes of sleep per night. Obviously, a big part of this is because babies require around-the-clock care, but the truth is, even when the baby does sleep, your body is stuck in hyper-alert mode. You might jolt awake at every little sound — or panic because the baby is too quiet. Add in night feedings, hormones that refuse to cooperate, and a heavy mental load, and deep sleep becomes a distant memory.
In addition to getting less sleep, new moms get a completely different type of sleep. Instead of solid, restful hours, you get choppy, unpredictable chunks that leave you feeling wrecked when you wake up. And just when you think you’ve hit your stride, your baby hits a sleep regression, teething phase, or randomly decides to stop sleeping through the night.
So, how do you survive it? Lower the bar. Let go of the idea that you need a full eight hours and grab whatever rest you can, whenever you can — even if that means napping at odd hours. The postpartum sleep struggle is real, but it won’t last forever.
Until then, more coffee, more grace for yourself, and fewer expectations about what sleep “should” look like. (For a little extra help, here are five tips for what to do after a bad night’s sleep.)
Impacts of sleep deprivation on moms
Sleep deprivation isn’t just about feeling tired — it’s a full-body, full-brain meltdown that messes with literally everything. When you’re running on fumes, the world just feels harder — small problems seem huge, patience disappears, and even basic tasks (like remembering why you walked into a room) become next to impossible.
The worst part is that sleep deprivation isn’t just a temporary annoyance — it has real, long-term effects on both your mental and physical health. And while everyone loves to tell moms, “You’ll adjust! You'll get used to it,” the truth is, you don’t.
The human body does not magically adapt to chronic exhaustion, it can have some real impacts on your body and mind.
1. Your mental health takes a hit
Sleep and mental health are inextricably linked. When one suffers, the other does too. Here’s what can happen when moms don’t get enough rest:
Increased anxiety: Less sleep can lead to more stress and more anxiety. And with a new baby, there’s no shortage of things to obsess over or worry about.
Higher risk of postpartum depression: Studies show that moms who get less sleep, especially in the first few months, are at a higher risk of postpartum depression.
Mood swings and irritability: You know that ragey feeling when someone breathes too loudly near you? That’s sleep deprivation talking.
Mom guilt on steroids: When you’re exhausted, your feelings are heightened. Sleep loss can warp your perspective, making normal parenting struggles feel like personal failures.
And don’t get us started on the way exhaustion turns basic patience into a rare and precious resource. Sleep-deprived moms are more likely to feel overwhelmed, resentful, and ready to snap at the slightest inconvenience, like your kid refusing to wear pants for the fifth day in a row.
2. Your physical health starts to suffer
Motherhood already puts your body through the wringer, and chronic sleep deprivation just makes matters worse. Over time, this can lead to:
Weakened immune system: This makes it easier for you to get sick — and who has time for that?
Hormonal imbalances: Sleep deprivation can disrupt the release of hormones like ghrelin, leptin, insulin, and orexin, leading to hormonal imbalances.
Weight fluctuations: Sleep deprivation can mess with hunger hormones, making you crave all the carbs, all the time.
Higher risk of chronic conditions: Long-term sleep loss is linked to increased risks of heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.
Physical exhaustion that never fully goes away: Even if you’re sitting still, you still feel bone-deep tired — like you could lie down right now and sleep for a week. (If only.)
3. Your memory and decision-making go out the window
Ever found your car keys in the fridge? Or completely forgotten what you were saying mid-sentence? That’s your exhausted brain short-circuiting.
Sleep deprivation can affect:
Memory: Basic recall becomes a struggle.
Focus: You start reading the same sentence three times before realizing your brain isn’t processing any of it.
Reaction time: Ever tried making a quick decision when running on three hours of sleep? It’s like wading through molasses.
Studies show that sleep-deprived brains function like drunk brains — reaction times slow, judgment gets worse, and simple tasks suddenly feel way harder than they should be.
4. Your relationships feel the strain
Being exhausted affects how you connect with people — whether it’s your partner, your friends, or your kids. When you’re running on no sleep:
Partner relationships can take a hit: Without sleep, you’re more irritable and less patient, which can lead to misunderstandings and tension.
Friendships can feel exhausting: Even socializing takes energy, and when you’re barely keeping it together, even texting back feels like too much.
Mom rage becomes a thing: Ever lost your temper over something tiny and then immediately felt guilty? Exhaustion makes emotional regulation feel impossible.
Lack of sleep can make even the most supportive relationships feel strained simply because you’re too tired to engage the way you want to.
5 tips to get better sleep as a tired mom
If you want to create an elaborate nighttime wind-down routine, you absolutely should — but it’s not for everyone. Here’s a list of low-effort sleep survival tips designed specifically for exhausted moms.
We know you’re tired, so let us reiterate that there is absolutely no need for perfection here. These are just tiny tweaks that might make you feel a little more human.
1. Embrace the “good enough” bedtime routine
Forget the idea that a nighttime routine must consist of chamomile tea, a face mask, and journaling by candlelight. Instead, think minimum effort, maximum impact. Here’s the plan:
Ditch the screens (or at least turn the brightness down). If you can’t quit your late-night scrolling, at least turn on night mode or use blue-light-blocking settings. Next, lower the lights. Your body wants darkness before bed, so dim the lights an hour before you crash. Skip that extra episode of “The Pitt”. It might feel good in the moment, but if you’re already exhausted, sleep is the better choice.
Since evenings are likely your only downtime, it can be hard to force an early bedtime — just be intentional with the time you have. Even shifting 15 minutes toward sleep can make a difference.
💙 If postpartum anxiety is making it tougher for you to get the rest you need, try listening to Breathwork for Postpartum Anxiety from Kate Johnson.
2. Nap like a rebel
“Nap when the baby naps” is laughable when you have a million things to do. Think smaller. You don’t need a two-hour nap — even 10-20 minutes can work wonders.
Have you heard of micro-naps? They actually work! Closing your eyes for even five minutes can help reset your brain. Even if you can’t sleep, lie down and close your eyes. Just resting in a quiet space can be enough to take the edge off.
Of course, midday naps aren’t always an option for moms, but if you have a break or commute where you’re not driving, try resting your eyes, meditating, or even just zoning out.
3. Let someone help you
Moms love to say, “No, it’s fine, I got it,” but you don’t have to do everything yourself. Sleep deprivation is a team sport, so let people actually help if you’re lucky enough to have that type of support.
If your partner can do night shifts, let them. Even if it’s just once in a while, one full night of sleep can be life-changing. Also, if a friend offers to watch the baby so you can nap, say yes.
Trade sleep shifts with your partner if possible. Sometimes, it helps if when one parent handles early mornings, the other gets night duty. It doesn’t have to be 50/50 — just anything that gives you more sleep is a win. If you’re a working mom and your schedule makes sleep shifts tricky, get creative — maybe you alternate weekend sleep-ins.
4. Don’t fight the weird sleep schedule — work with it
If your body wants to fall asleep at 8:30pm, let it. If you naturally wake up at 4am but could squeeze in a mid-morning nap, take it. The idea that you need a perfect eight-hour sleep block is outdated. Right now, your goal is more sleep, however you can get it.
Of course, shifting your schedule may not be realistic, and if that’s the case, focus on quality over quantity. Even small adjustments, like winding down earlier, grabbing a short nap before school pickup, or shifting household tasks to free up evening time, can help. Sleep is golden — take what you can, when you can.
5. Keep your expectations low
Some seasons of motherhood are just a sleep dumpster fire, and the sooner you accept it, the less frustrated you’ll feel. Instead of chasing perfect sleep, aim for tiny wins. If you can’t control your sleep schedule, control what you can — protect your wind-down time, let go of non-urgent tasks, and use weekends strategically for catching up on rest.
This is survival mode. Lower the bar, drink the coffee, and remember — this phase won’t last forever.
💙Jeff Warren’s Ease Parenting Stress series can provide you with tools to feel more like yourself during this wonderful, but at times overwhelming, period.
When does it get better?
It depends. (Annoying, we know.)
For some moms, sleep starts improving around six months, when babies may (keyword: may) sleep longer stretches. For others, it takes a year or more — especially if your baby hits every sleep regression like clockwork. And if you have a toddler who thinks 5am is a reasonable wake-up time? Well, you might be waiting a little longer.
But here’s the good news: It won’t always be like this. The exhaustion you’re feeling right now? The endless night wakings? The pure what-even-is-time brain fog? It’s a season — one that feels never-ending but will, eventually, pass. And in the meantime, every tiny pocket of rest you can grab (a nap, an early bedtime, a partner stepping in for one night) is a step toward feeling human again.
So hang in there. More sleep is coming.
Mom and sleep FAQs
How much sleep do moms typically get?
It depends on the age of the kids, but the short answer is, not enough. Studies show that moms of very young kids average 5–6 hours of sleep per night, and that’s not even counting the quality of that sleep. (Spoiler: it’s usually not great.)
Between night wakings, the mental load, and trying to squeeze in a few precious moments of alone time, moms often get sleep in choppy, inconsistent chunks — which is not the same as a solid 7–8 hours.
Even as kids get older, many moms still struggle to get good sleep because their bodies have adjusted to years of interruptions. Basically, by the time your kid is a teenager who sleeps in until noon, you might be permanently wired to wake up at 5am for no reason. Motherhood is fun like that.
How can I support my partner who is a mom or new mom?
First of all, just acknowledge that sleep deprivation is brutal. A simple “I know how exhausted you are” goes a long way. Then, look for ways to lighten the load without being asked. Take a night shift, wake up with the kids in the morning, or handle bedtime so she can crash early.
If she’s struggling to nap because her brain won’t shut off, encourage her to rest and handle the chaos while she does — without coming to her every five minutes for help. Small things, like making sure she has snacks and coffee, taking over household tasks, or giving her permission to rest without guilt can make a huge difference.
And please, please don’t say, “You should sleep more.” She knows. What she needs is help actually making that happen.
Do dads get more sleep than new moms?
Studies have shown that new dads lose about 13 minutes of sleep per night, while new moms lose over an hour — and that number jumps even higher if she’s breastfeeding. Moms also report worse quality sleep than their partners.
This isn’t just because babies tend to wake up needing mom — it’s also because of the default parent effect. Even when partners are willing to help, moms are often the ones who hear the baby first, anticipate the next wake-up, or struggle to fall back asleep.
And because society still tends to expect moms to be the primary caregivers (even when both parents work), some dads get more opportunities to recover from sleep loss than moms do.
How can I get good sleep with a newborn?
Newborn sleep is chaotic, and the best thing you can do is work with it instead of fighting it. If you can, sleep in shifts — one parent handles the baby for a few hours while the other gets actual uninterrupted rest.
Accept any and all help — if someone offers to watch the baby for an hour so you can nap, take them up on it. Don’t waste precious sleep time on housework (seriously, let the laundry sit).
And most importantly, let go of the idea that you “should” be handling it all on your own. The newborn stage can be magical, but also very difficult. Right now, your number-one job (besides keeping the baby alive) is grabbing rest however and whenever you can.
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